Chapter 11- 'I'd rather shove Harry Potters wand up my ass.'

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DRAKE POV

Two weeks out of prison and I was cup of porridge away from going back inside.

It was all going to be because of that cocky little dweeb currently feeling up my best friends little sister.

I was sat on the sun lounger in Nate and Mia’s garden, a beer in my hand and my eyes glued to the double glass doors so I could keep an eye on this little douchebag.

From the angle I was sat in I could see them both by the pool table, playing a ‘harmless’ game of pool which gave the creep an excuse to stand behind her as she bent over to shoot and pass it off as a joke.

Fair enough it was something I would do, but I was charming and cute. He was just an asshole.

I wonder how hard he would laugh when I shoved the pool cue up his ass and turn him into a human lolly.

The reason I am keeping an eye is just because she’s my best friends little sister. I grew up with her, I have an obligation to make sure the only guy to perve on her and hit on her is me. I was doing this partly on Nate’s behalf.

Which was hard to back up considering Nate was currently by the BBQ laughing at some joke Jimmy had just told him. He had an attention span of a dead cat, his little sister could be banging on the pool table and he would still be flipping the burgers on the grill.

Me and a few of the lads were having a few drinks after work. Well, after they had finished work. Jimmy and Nate finished their shift at the bar about an hour ago, I was more waiting around for them to finish as I'm a bum who does nothing with his life.

I’ve applied for a few jobs but heard nothing back yet, which doesn’t surprise me. As I said, I got released less and a month ago so the fact I’m a little hard to employ doesn’t really shock me.

It’s times like this when I miss school. Set routine, didn’t have to actually do any work and spent the majority of the day getting it on with your fellow classmates in the fiction section of the library.

Those were the days.

Since I’ve gotten out I seem to spend the majority of my time around Nate’s. Home isn’t exactly somewhere I want to be right now considering my mum can’t even look me in the eye. I swear since I got out that woman has had 999 on speed dial in case I decide to flip out and go Hannibal on her ass.

If it wasn’t for Nate and this house, which to be honest is probably my real home at the minute, I would be begging the authorities to cart me back to my cell.

“Why the hell is your sister back with that douchebag?” Jimmy question Nate as they both walk back over to the sun loungers, gazing at the happy couple with a look of disgust on his face.

Nate flopped himself on the sun lounger, plate of burgers in his hand which he was about 10 seconds away from demolishing like a building site.

“They’re not actually together apparently.” Nate explains, and my ears perk up “He wanted another chance and apologised for being such a prick and apparently she’s given him like a trial period.”

I look back through the glass door just as Mia begins to laugh at something Rabbit fucker said.

“Seems to be going pretty well.” I comment with revulsion in my voice.

“I know, I really just wanna grab the little runt by the scruff of the neck and boot him out of my house, but I’ll probably have the toothpaste in my bathroom replaced with rat poison. Mia isn’t exactly a fan of having anyone butt in her business.” Nate told us, taking an animal bite of the burger in his hand.

I breathed a laugh. Yeah, that did sound like Mia. I wouldn’t put past cutting the brakes in his car if he even thought about getting in her business.

“I’ll do it. My toothpaste is a few streets away.” I suggest with a grin, making Luke and Jimmy laugh.

“Up to you man, but you basically live here so interfere at your own demise.” Nate warns finishing the burger in his hand. My eyes widen slightly as I realised he had inhaled that whole burger in two bites.

What a Lad.

“What’s Lacey said about that?” Luke asks, nodding his head towards Garry and Mia. His tone was filled with suggestion thought and I knew he was trying to wind Nate up.

Nate started on burger number two, ignoring the dirty smirk on Luke’s face.

“How would I know?” Nate shrugged.

“’Cos you’ve been dipping the girl for what, a year now?” Luke replies like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.

Nate shoots him a glare, and I try and cover up my laugh with a cough. Judging by the fact Nate was about 4 second away from choking all of us, I wasn’t that discreet.

I felt for the boy though. I knew he liked Lacey, but he didn’t want to settle down and lose the reputation he has spent years building. He didn’t want to actually seem like he had any feelings.

But a blind man two streets over could tell he had feelings for the girl. He just needs to get to the point where he is ready to admit them.

I snap away from the conversation as I hear my phone ringing. I pull it out of the pocket and look at the caller ID, not recognising the number. I press the answer button and put the phone to my ear.

“O’Connell’s sex dungeons. Press 1 for midgets, 2 for gimps or if you know your extension number enter it now.” I answer cheerfully, and Nate almost chokes on the chewed up meat in his mouth.

“There are some things a father really doesn’t want to hear.” I hear the voice on the other end reply, and my blood freezes.

Its times like these that make me realise screening your calls is a genius of a freaking idea.

I quickly get up from the sun lounger, ignoring the questioning glances from the guys and make my way into the house, not even looking at the happy couple even though I could feel their eyes on me as I stormed through to the kitchen, shutting the door behind me.

“How the hell did you get my number?” I ask him, my tone anything but friendly.

“You really think you’re that hard of a man to find?” he lets out a laugh.

“Okay, let me rephrase that, why the fuck are you calling me?”

“Cant a man call up his son after he’s finally been released from prison?” He asks rhetorically.

“Not when that man hasn’t called up his son since he walked out on him 4 years ago.” I reply without a hesitation, realising I was pacing around the island in the middle of the kitchen.

My dad walked out on me and my mum 4 years ago. No explanation, no child support, not even a freaking goodbye.

I haven’t spoken to this man since I was 14, and now he decides to ring up for a chat?

“Look I know I’m the last person you want to hear from right now, but you are my son and I know that you have to be going through a tough time right now considering you’ve just been released. I do know what you’re going through.”

“You didn’t give a shit about your son when you walked out for that blonde who looked like she had more experience than an Asian hooker.” I replied back with a bitter smile to my lips even though he couldn’t see it.

I heard through some people a few months after he walked out that he had hooked up with some little slut that worked at his firm. My dad had quite a, let’s say, colourful job, and apparently the perks of that job were just too hard to resist after a while. It was thanks to his chosen career that he ‘knew what I was going through’ as he too had spent a few years of his life behind bars.

Guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree…

His job always came before us, so as bad as it sounds, when I finally heard the reason I wasn’t at all surprised. I was just pissed.

When he walked out my mum lost it for a while, lost her job and we were basically a month’s rent away from sleeping on the streets. At the age of 14 I had to go to the local supermarkets and steal a loaf of bread just so we wouldn’t starve.

Well, in all fairness I knew I wouldn’t starve as I always had Nate’s house to come back to. His dad left enough money back then when he was away at work to even feed me. He thought of me as a son, and to be honest he was the only man I ever considered my father.

But I couldn’t just abandon my mum, she needed me and eventually she got her act together and got a job. The only other flaw my dad’s abandonment had caused was the fact her taste in men from that moment on was about as good as George Michaels chosen dogging sights.

Her taste in men caused more problems than you could ever imagine.

And it was all thanks to this wanker on the other end of the phone.

“Look I know I could have gone about things differently but I can’t change what’s happened. I wish things would have been different but as hard as this is going to be for you to believe, I really had no choice.” He explained and for the first time in this conversation, I felt genuine sadness in his voice. For a brief second, I actually believed him. Then the smart bastard in me returned.

“My heart bleeds for you.” I reply with sarcasm dripping from my mouth.

“Look I really am ringing to help you.”

“I’d rather shove Harry potters wand up my ass than get help from you.”

“Colourful.”

“I’m a creative boy. My therapist says it’s because my daddy didn’t love me enough to keep his dick in his trousers and stick around.”

He let out a sigh as he finally realised I had about a thousand more of these comebacks, and it wasn’t wasting any of my call time so I could literally do this all day.

“Just listen to me for a minute.” He was actually begging a little, and I gritted my teeth together to stop myself from commenting. Might as well hear him out, it could be quite entertaining. He took my silence as a go ahead for him to continue “I want to offer you a job.”

I burst out laughing. Part of the laughter was genuine humour, part was disbelief.

“You want to offer me a job?” I repeat through my laughs, leaning back against the counter.

“Yes. I want to offer you a job in the firm.” My sperm donor repeated, completely ignoring my laughter and actually talking like what he was saying was at all sane.

“Why the hell would you do that? You haven’t talked to me in 4 years and now you wanna be work chums?” My laughter has died down by this point and the anger was back. The cheek of this man was unbelievable.

“The boss heard about your little stint inside. He was impressed by the work you did to get you sent inside, and he wants a man like you on his team.” He explained and by this point any glint of humour in my voice was had completely vanished.

“How did he hear about it?” I ask through gritted teeth. I haven’t even told people I actually know or like why I got sent inside, so how the hell did this stranger know?

“You know what I do for a living Drake. You know the people I work for and you know finding out things like that is a walk in the park for them.” He clarified, and again I actually hear a hint of actual emotion in his voice. It was almost like he was actually sad to be passing this message on to me.

I knew very well what type of work my dad did for a living. I had no intention to make that my chosen career path.

“You can tell your boss he can get down on both knees and blow me.” I told him, my teeth almost shattering they were gritted so hard.

There was a silence on the other end of the phone, and I was just about to hang up when I heard him speak again.

“I can bet my rather large income, which is what you would be getting by the way, that this is the first job offer you have had since you got out right?” He asked me, the smugness in his voice told me he already knew the answer.

“No actually I’ve been filled with hundreds of job offers.” I replied with a sweetness to my tone.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, restaurants, shops, offices, I even got offered the position as Spiderman but my massive penis weighed me down as I tried to jump from building to building.” I informed him and I actually heard an exasperated sigh from the other end. I smiled slightly at this.

“Drake you will struggle getting jobs for the rest of your life now you have this on your record. This job is perfect, and you having been to prison is actually a bonus for this position. The perks are great, the money is even better and your name will be known about 3 towns over. You would have everything you ever wanted.”

I didn’t reply and just remained quiet as I took in his words. The man was a good salesman I’ll give him that because I actually found myself considering it.

I mean I knew I would basically be unemployable from this point on, and any job I did get would be minimum wage serving up other people’s food or wiping up piss from public toilets. I would be stuck in dead end jobs for the rest of my life. I had finished school and due to me sort of getting arrested just before my exams I had no qualifications.

The offer my ‘father’ is giving me right now is like waving a sandwich in front of a homeless man. More tempting than it should be.

I knew the line of work my dad was into. My prison stay would probably be considered a job requirement. It was illegal, brutal and dangerous.  But I could actually have a life. A life where I wouldn’t have to steal a freaking packet of crisps every time I fancied a snack.

And I was a growing boy. I was hungry the majority of the time.

Then I snapped back to my senses. Innocent people got hurt in that line of work, and I refused to become a monster like the man I refer to as my sperm donor, because due to this ‘fantastic’ job I grew up without my father and even when he was there it was like having a stranger in the house.

I refused to let myself become a cold hearted bastard just so I can afford a mars bar.

“As I said before Andrew, tell your boss he can blow me.” I spit down the phone, ending the call and flinging the phone on the counter besides me.

I turn and place both hands on the counter, leaning my head forward and taking a few deep breaths as I try and calm myself down.

Did that really just happen?

I almost shit a brick as I suddenly hear a voice in the room with me.

“What was that about?” Mia’s brows are raised curiously as she stares at me, waiting for me to answer her honestly. I can tell she is actually a little worried because she does that thing where she tilts her head ever so slightly to the right and her eyes look like they are trying to read my freaking soul or something.

So of course, I answered her about as honestly as I could.

“Oh nothing, Red Riding Hood just rang and asked me how to put down a big ass wolf that broke into her house and ate her Nanna.”

Like I said, I answered her about as honestly as I could.

Which as always in my case, was a big fat overweight binge eating lie.

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A/N: Huge thank you to molsss for the amazing banner, that boy is hoooooooooot ;)

So guys what did you think? Should Drake have accepted the 'colourful' job or is that going into dangerous territory? why did his mums taste in men cause so much trouble? would you shove harry potters wand up your ass to avoid speaking to a man you hate?

LET ME KNOWW WHAT YOU THINK! Comments below you beautiful people.

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