**** Dr. Edwards in the m/m. As well as a new Aug interview from last night. ****

AUGUST P.O.V. –

“Aug you been laying around depressed ever since you got back to Nola. You gon have to come outta this room.”

My mother stood in the doorway of what used to be my old bedroom. I was on the bed in black basketball shorts and a white beater watching Sportscenter.

After the big blowout with Amb a couple of days ago, I just decided it would be best to spend my summer in New Orleans.

“What’s wrong?” She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my leg.

“Nothing, just tired.” I lied and adjusted my arm behind my head.

It was quiet at my mother’s house since she kicked my step-father out. But all that silence just made my mind more busy with thoughts of Amb.

“Baby, you’ll find somebody else.”

“I know. I’m not tripping Ma.” I flipped through the channels.

I really was though. It was starting to sink in that I would never be with Amber again. And that shit hurt my heart.

And it was nobodies fault but mine. Amb had been the most amazing woman a man could ask for, but I was too immature to keep her.

The best man won, and I had to respect Nate for that. As long as he was treating her right, I was genuinely happy for her.

She deserved somebody who understood her worth and respected that. And from what I could tell he was doing that so, although I wanted her, she deserved better and I’m glad she got it.

“Aug no experience is a waste. Everything you go through, even the heartbreak is to grow you into a better man. Use this time to work on yourself. So when the next time comes whether its with Amb or somebody else, you won’t make the same mistake.”

“I hear you Ma.”

She kissed my forehead.

“Now clean up this mess. Got my house looking like a damn pig –sty.” She looked  around at the mess.

The room was starting to look like Nova’s apartment. I now know his apartment wasn’t just that way because he was nasty. His broken heart had a lot to do with that.

“Now.” She looked at me.

I sighed, got up and cleaned the mess.

AMBER P.O.V. –                     

I had Sata in my arms as we walked into the front doors of the studio.

“You wanna see your Unc?” I kissed her head.

She talked back to me in the cutest babbles. I opened the door to Studio A, the studio Rell was in. And couldn't believe what I saw.

He was grinding on Tanya as they listened to a playback of the song he had just recorded. He was silently singing to her and she was dancing along.

On everything, on everything

Still trying to buy you a house and a ring

On everything baby I'm a change

I'm a get it right so when you come back girl it won't be the same

And I'll be ready for next time around

And I'll be ready for next time around

Cause right now it feels like pain

Feels like the Sun lost a fight with the rain

I know right now it's over

But I'll be ready for next time around

I coughed out loud trying to get their attention.  They quickly turned around.

“My bad.” Rell cut the track. Tanya fixed her hair and straightened her clothes.

“Y’all should be ashamed.”

“Hey Munch!” Tanya ignored me and took Sata into her arms.

“When did this happen?” I looked at her and Rell.

“Tell your mommy nothings going on Munch.” Tanya tickled Sata and Sata giggled loudly.

“Y’all so full of it.” I shook my head and sat on the couch.

“I need you to look over these for me.” Rell handed me some contracts.

“Munch.” He called out to Sata she looked at him and held out her arms.

He picked her up.

“So y’all just gon act like y’all wasn’t grinding on each other?”

“How about you talk about August being back?” Tanya looked at me. “Since you want to get in somebody else’s business.”

“Chile I ain’t thinking about him.” I fanned my hand.

“Come with Unc, let’s leave these two in here okay?” Rell put his forehead against Sata’s.

“Rell where are you taking my baby?”

“Chill I got her.”

“That’s why I’m asking where you going?”

“I raised you didn’t I?”

“That’s why she messed up.” Tanya laughed.

“Ha-ha-ha.” I was not amused.

“Let’s go Sata.” He took her out.

“You know you not right. As much as you talk about Rell you up in here grinding on him.”

“We was just listening to music.”

“Mmm-hm.” I rolled my eyes.

“So did you tell August?”

“No.”

“Amber, you need to tell him. That is not right.”

“I am.”

“When? When she  going to college?”

“No.”

“Then when? I understand you don’t want the media to know. But he deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him. In my own time.”

“You know how I feel, but I don’t agree with this. You don’t have to be together to tell him.”

“I know that. And I’m not thinking about being with him.”

She looked at me like she didn’t believe me.

“I’m serious. That ship has sailed. Nate is who I should’ve been with from the beginning. What was I thinking to date somebody whose young enough to be my damn son.”

“It was that Dick and Drama.” She laughed.

“No it was…shut up. I'm not thinking about him." I said frustrated.

"On to what I'm thinking about - this vowel renewal ceremony. Me and Mrs. Parker are planning it. I need you to be my Maid of Honor.”

“Of course. Where is it going to be?"

"We’re still trying to decide. I’ll let you know.”

Rell appeared drinking a pop and he had been giving Sata some.

“Durrell! Did you give my baby that?”

“Just a little. Calm down.”

“Give me my child.”

I took her from him. She cried something serious.

“Sata stop all that.” I tried to calm her.

“I’ll see you later Tanya.” I rolled my eyes at Durrell and left out.

“Munch calm down baby.” She was still crying.

“You can’t have that sweetie.”

I put her in her car seat and gave her, her pacifier. She calmed down and we went home.

AUGUST P.O.V. –

“You must be August.” A clean cut black man who looked to be in his 30s, stood in front of me and held out his hands.

“Yeah. How you doing?” I stood up and shook his hand.

“Not enjoying this rain, but I’m making it.” He gave a slight laugh. I smiled in return.

“You can just follow me.” I followed him into an office. It was books everywhere. I mean every damn where.

“I didn’t know somebody could read this much.”

He laughed, “Gotta do what you gotta do to stay abreast on things.”

He sat down behind his desk and I sat in front of him.

I looked at all the degrees on his wall, as he gathered some papers on his desk. One was from Harvard . The other from Yale.

He knocked over a picture on his desk. "Excuse me I'm so unorganized. " He shook his head and smiled, sitting the picture up.

It was of him, his wife and two children. A boy and a girl. They looked perfect. How I wished me and Amb could be.I couldn't imagine taking a family portrait without her in it. With actual kids I had by her.

“How do you pronounce your last name I don’t want to get it wrong?”

“AL-SEEN-UH.”

“Alsina.” He pronounced it correctly.

“Okay. Is there a name you prefer to go by?”

“Aug is fine.”

“Okay well Aug my name is Dr. Tony Edwards. We have three sessions together. The first session is getting to the root of your anger. The second session is going thru techniques to help with manage it. And the last session we’ll discuss your progress and tips moving forward. You’ll also get a certificate. Alright?”

“Yeah.”

I was nervous. I had never did anything like this. But I loved Amb so much and I wanted to show her I was committed to doing whatever it took to get her back.

“So tell me a little bit about your self.”

“What you want to know?”

“Let’s start with now. What are you doing now?”

“Well I’m in dental school at UPenn.”

“Impressive.” He took some notes.

“You know I have a friend looking for an intern. You think you might be interested?”

I was definitely interested but my grades weren’t where they should be so…

“My grades aren’t where they should be.”

“Why?” He took more notes.

“That’s the reason I’m here. I just fucked—my bad.”

“It’s okay. Be yourself.”

“I just messed everything up. I umm…” I cleared my throat.

“I umm spazed out on my girl because she was the lawyer that defended my brother killer.”

“And I’m assuming you didn’t know this?”

“Nah I found out the day before my graduation. My brother recognized and told me. And I just…I just…”

I couldn’t even speak I was so ashamed. I loved Amber and there was no explanation for it the violence I showed toward her.

“What do you mean when you say spazed out?”

“I almost hit her. But my other brother pulled me back before I could.”

“Had you ever came close to hitting her before?”

“Nah."

“Violence never just comes out the blue. There had to be signs that you had the capacity to do such a thing. The signs are usually verbal abuse. Yelling. Fits of Anger. Calling someone out their name. Grabbing. These are all progressive signs that physically abuse could loom in the near future. Did you do any of these things toward her?”

Tears filled my eyes realizing how horrible I had been to Amb. I didn’t realize it was that bad.

“I’m not judging you. I’m just getting it out, so we can see what is at the root of the problem.”

“I did all that man.” Tears rolled down my cheeks.

He handed me a tissue. I took it and wiped my face.

“Why do you think you react that way when you’re angry?”

“I don’t know man, I just…my whole life I’ve had to fight to protect myself and my fam. Fight niggas from the hood I’m from. Fight my fucking step-daddy when he came in the house acting crazy after doing drugs. And its like that’s what I was taught man. If you want to handle a problem ain’t no talking about that shit. It’s Afghanistan. I think that’s why I ran away a lot in our relationship because I knew if it got too heated I would take it there.”

Dr. Edwards took notes.

“Have you ever tried talking about problems before in your relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“How did it go?”

“Sometimes it works. Like me and my girl got into a big blow up once because I thought she was cheating with her ex, and we talked it out.”

“But you reverted right back to your usual pattern?”

“Yeah.”

He took some notes.

“You probably think I’m a horrible person.” I looked down in shame wondering all the horrible things he was scribbling about me.

“No.” He looked at me. “Nobody is outright horrible. People do things for a reason. You react the way you act because you haven’t been taught an alternative way to handle issues. And the reason you’ve tried and it doesn’t stick is because you didn’t do it long enough for it to be a pattern.”

“Hm.” I said impressed he understood me so well.

“So that’s all we have to do. Teach you alternative ways to handle problems and how to make it become a habit so when something else occurs that can trigger you, you handle it better.”

I shook my head in the affirmative.

“It seems your biggest stress factors from what I’m gathering are disrespect and your family. Family being the top.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not a bad thing. As males we are taught our job is to protect and provide for our families. You’re doing what any other male would do. The only problem is, you have to…”

“Handle it different.”

“Exactly. You’ll get there though. I’m confident.”

He looked at the clock.

“Well this was a great first session. I’ll see you next week.”

“Thank you doc. Ey can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“I see that picture with you, your wife and your kids. Y’all look real happy. Y’all ever have fights?”

“August what relationship doesn’t. She actually left me for a while because of this exact thing. My anger.”

“How did you get her back?”

“By doing the very thing you’re doing. Showing her I love her, rather than telling her. Words mean nothing without action. And you being here shows me you’re serious. That’ll be you one day in the near future.”

“I’mma wait on the kids.” I laughed. “I don’t think I’m ready to be a daddy.”

“I thought that until my daugther’s eyes starred back at me. From that point on, my life has never been the same. You’ll be a dad watch.  Sooner than you think. Mark my words." He smiled and patted me on my back.

“I can barely get myself together.” I laughed.

"Just like with anything you'll learn." He gave me a card. "Give my friend a call. I think the internship will be good for you."

"Thanks doc."

“See you next week.”

We shook hands and I left out.