**** The babies name is pronounced UH-SAH-TUH. She's named after a freedom fighter from the black power movement. Also thanks to my girl talkativeintrovert for a passage I used in this chapter .

For those who need a refresher on what Stac looks like she's in the m/m. And Rell's song is in the m/m. Please listen to the song if you can.

And shout out to sonotfetch for the cover. ****

AUGUST P.O.V. –

“Relationships are not easy. That whole lilies and roses. Make up sex and we good thing exist in movies and books. Real relationships take work. Hardwork. And a lot of those days you’re not gonna wanna put in the work. Cause the shit is too hard. So it’s easy to abandon it every time there’s some friction. You cannot do that. You cannot run away. You have to stay here and grind it out with me. Pray it out with me. Communicate it out with me August. Just like with anything else. School is hard for you, I know. But you didn’t quit, even though things came in your way where you wanted to. Taking care of Chay, Noonie and Kay is hard, but I know you’re not going to abandon them. Look at me.” She softly touched my chin and directed it toward her.

“The same goes with us. You are a real fucking piece of work.” I smirked.

“You got anger problems, this we know. Okay, we’re gonna get to the root of that and work on it. Together. If me leaving without kissing you in the morning makes you insecure, I won’t do that again. Because I want you to have peace of mind. I apologize about not texting and calling you back, things got a little hectic and I had planned on calling you once I left. I should’ve text you and said I’d call you later. Our relationship Aug is like when we went blind go-karting. We had to trust each other, that we’d lead each other in the right direction. Some days we won’t get it right. Like you ran me into that wall.”

“I told you to go straight.”

“And I didn’t listen that time. But we both made it to the end baby. Safe. Not perfect. But safe. And every time we hit a rough patch, we have to think about that moment go-karting. Redirect each other to the right path, so we can make it to the end okay?”

“Believe Dat.”

“Dear God, I need you right now. You blessed me with this opportunity and I’m fucking it up. You blessed me with a good woman and I fucked that up.  I pray that you forgive me. I shouldn’t never try to hit no woman, you know that’s not in my heart. And I shouldn’t have just left her like that. God I know for a fact the only way I’mma get back on track is if you bring Amb back in my life, but God I’m so confused. My nigga serving 30 years for me. My brother gone. I don’t wanna be disloyal to them.  Please help me figure out what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know right now.”

 I started crying on my steering wheel. “Give me a sign if going to make things right with Amb is a good thing and if you say it’s the right thing, I’ll go to Atlanta. If not, I’ll just spend the summer in Nola. Just let me know. Please God, I’m begging you. Amen.”

I wiped my eyes and started my car.

“It’s ya girl Shamara on Philly Hot 107.9, Laiya is out sick but I’m still holding it down. Playing the jams. This one is a new hit from an artist straight up out the A named Durrell. Y’all I heard this song and I definitely things he’s the future of RNB. But Philly you listen and decide. Here it is – The first single off his debut album Stronger – If That’s What It Takes.”

I got excited hearing Rell on the radio. He wasn’t lying, he really had been making major moves.

Any man that did you wrong

I'll find him and make him apologize

If that what it'd take

Baby, lemme be your fool

Hurt me any way you like

If that's what you intend

Listen, girl, when God made you

He only made one and He made you for me

I'll take my blood and give it all to you

If you need it to live

If that's what, what it takes

I'll spend my last dime for your ticket

On that train to heaven

If that's what, what it takes, yeah

As I heard Rell on the radio, I knew this was a sign that it was on me to do whatever it took to get her back. But I still wasn’t all the way sure. I told myself if he gave me three signs I would know for sure, for sure. That was sign one.

I knew I had to hear Stacy out, she would definitely be sign two. One problem – I hadn’t talked to her since we’d been out here. I’d see her in classes and it would be like we didn’t know each other. I had to make things right with her. I went to the store to get flowers to offer as a peace offering and headed to her apartment.

AMBER P.O.V. –

“How should I have said it,” I turned to face him as he washed his hands. “You know, something like, what’s up Aug? Not no, “It’s a pleasure to meet you August” he mocked me again and bursted into laughter drying his hands.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime,” I gave in and laughed, because his laughter was so contagious. “That’s your way of asking me if we old enough to date,” he stopped laughing and narrowed his eyes looking at me. “What”, I said out-loud, but probably was mentally saying yes.

“I’m just joking with you,” he smirked. I followed him into the hall and watched as he put his things on his cleaning cart. “I’m going to go back to my office, but wanted to tell you, you had a nice voice.”

 “Thank you,” he smiled. “You have a nice night Amber” he mocked my voice again. “You not funny,” I rolled my eyes and laughed as I headed back to my office.

I looked out the window and smiled thinking about how I first met August in that bathroom at work. The whole entire year I just hoped he would show up like he always did, but he never came. No matter how much I wished and hoped, he never came. Never called. Never texted. Even Cha had tried to reconnect us but August was very clear in his message he didn’t want anything to do with me.

On top of that he told her to stop hanging around me. I would see her from time to time and we would speak, but for the most part she respected his wishes. And I understand that. I don’t know how I would feel about my family still speaking with an ex, after I broke it off with them.

I liked Nate a lot, and maybe even loved him a little.  He turned out to be a very sweet man. He was a great provider. He was a little too perfect if you’d ask me. But if you asked me was I in love with him, the answer was no.

I had married him for political reasons mainly. We had started dating and me being pregnant and working on his campaign, we couldn’t hide our relationship. And if the media found out the baby wasn’t his it would turn into a scandal and he would’ve lost the election. He had been through so much and I didn’t want that happen to him.

His family was pissed that we didn’t have a big elaborate wedding. So his mother insisted we have a vowel renewal service in August, that way our families could attend the service. She is in the process of planning this now, and it’s just killing me on the inside. Because once that’s done, it solidifies this. Whatever this is, we have.

She told me that she knew I really didn’t love Nate. She could see it in my eyes. But she said like her, sometimes you have to marry for other reasons and you grow to love each other. She told me a story about Coretta Scott King saying she didn’t really love MLK at first, but she grew to love him.

And Judge Parker was exactly right, that’s what I had to do. I was 32 now, I couldn’t wait another ten years for someone to grow up. I’d be damn near 50. I had tried to reach out to August and his number was disconnected. He stopped Cha from talking to me. What was I supposed to do?

“I don't want to be anybody's single mother. At 32 if I'm to be in a committed relationship with somebody ten years my junior I would expect that he has some type of sense, maturity and respect for me as a person and as his significant other. I would not want to be treated how I was treated. That would be pitiful. Nate is what I'd be looking for in a man. He respects me and loves me enough to want to protect me from having to deal with an immature ' baby daddy' situation and having a baby out of wedlock. August left me because of misplaced loyalty. Blood blood blood, forgetting that the same Mel he was so loyal to told him that when he met that special woman to hold on to her, forgetting that he promised to hold me down forever and forgetting that when I expressed my grief about that case he said I was only doing my job. I had to move on. He wasn't ready and I wasn't ready to be anybody's laughing stock. So yes I loved Aug but Nate gave me something better to love. So pardon the hell out of me for looking out for me and my child's best interest. What because I love August I should just take it laying down? Please!” (Lines given to me by Talkative Introvert with a few words changed. Muah! Thanks hun for this insight).

“You ready?” Nate looked over at me and held my hand.

“Yes Mayor Parker.” I smiled back at him.

“Munch you ready?” I looked at Assata who was giggling up a storm.

The driver opened our car door. I got Assata out of her car seat, held her in my arms. Nate held my hand and we walked toward the stage waving at the thousands of people in Atlanta who came out to support their new mayor.

AUGUST P.O.V. –

Stacy opened her apartment door then slammed it.

“Stac please. I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t talk to women beaters. Get the fuck away from my door.” She kicked it.

I sighed and fixed my snapback. “Stac come on man, I need to talk to you.”

“That’s all you want to do is use me to help you out. You ain’t said shit to me for a whole year.”

“That’s cause you wouldn’t talk to me. What was I supposed to do?”

She opened the door.

“What were you supposed to do? You damn sholl wasn’t supposed to try to hit no woman. And my sister Amber at that? You mutha-fucka!”

She jumped on me and started punching me.” She was on top of me in the hallway hitting me. I laid on the ground covering my face.

“Ey! Stac!”

The flowers had now dropped and crushed.

People came out of their door to see what was going on.

“Ey Stac man. Cut that shit out!” I pushed her off me.

She stood up and straitened her hair.

“Don’t you ever do that shit again.” She kicked me.

Stacy looked innocent, but she was hood. She didn’t mind scrapping with niggas if she had too.

“Now get your ass in here.” I grabbed my hat that was on the ground, got up and went inside her apartment.

I was about to sit on her couch.

“Naw nigga you stand.”

I stood up and put my hands in my hoodie pocket. Looking down too ashamed to look her in the face.

“What do you want I got shit to do?”

“I first want to apologize to you.”

“No you apologize to Amber.”

“That’s why I’m here if you let me talk.”

“I don’t have to let you do shit.” She looked me up and down and got a bottle of water out of her fridge.

“I want her back Stac. I need my woman back. Shit ain’t gon be right in my life until she mine again.”

“You think its gon be that simple? You just go back to Atlanta and just pick right up where you left off?”

“Nah I’m not saying that.  I’m just saying, I need her back in my life.”

“You fucked up big time.”

“I know.”

“She is not gon to let you back in that easy. And besides she got somebody.”

I looked up surprised. “What? Who?”

“You thought she was going to wait for your ass?”

“Nah but…who?”

“Nate.”

“How you know?”

“When I went down to there spring break I ran into her.”

“Aw she don’t love that nigga.” I fanned my hand.

“They married.”

“Married?”

“Yup. You lost out on a good one buddy.” She gulped down her water.

“Guess it wasn’t meant to be. I’ll catch you later.” I said about to leave.

“So you gon give up that easy?”

“What the fuck I’m supposed to do? She married. She don’t care shit about me.”

Stacy put her hands on her hips.

“August, she tries to put on an air that she loves him. But she doesn’t. She still loves you. Now I would never condone breaking up somebodies marriage, but she did say this to me and this is between us.”

“Aight, what she say.”

“Sometimes she wishes you’d just show up like you always used to do. I was upset at you then so I told her to stop wishing for that shit. But I say if you want her, go get her. One more thing…”

“What?”

“Nevermind.”

“Don’t do that Stac. Just tell me.”

“Nah, its not my place. She didn’t really tell me its just something I figured out on my own. When the time is right, she’ll tell you. Go get my sister back.”

I went over to Stacy and gave her a hug. She pulled me by my collar and eyed me, “don’t try that shit again.”

“I won’t.” I smirked and kissed her forehead.

Sign two. Now one more and I’ll now for sure it’s a go.