Chapter 12

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**** If you haven't heard Aug and I are planning our wedding. The rest of y'all can be bridesmaids. Know your role, like ol gurl who ran on stage with him lol.

Man when I saw that I was like August is frfr a street dude because people would run on stage with Michael Jackson all the time and he would just continue to perform to them. Not August, you run up on stage you might get slapped. Smh. At least she was brave lol.  Anyway, enjoy!****

AUGUST P.O.V. - 

I had tried everything I could to see Amb at the hospital but they wouldn’t allow her to have any visitors. She got out two days ago, and she was now staying at her mother’s house. Cha found that out from Tanya, who told her that staying in the house she lived in with Nate brought up too many memories and she couldn’t bare staying there by herself.

Tanya also told her that Amb wasn’t eating, nor would she leave her room. She stayed locked in there.

Cha suggested I give her more time, but I wasn’t waiting any longer. I had been back in Atlanta five days and hadn’t seen her.  I just had to know she was doing okay. I stopped in Panera Bread got her some soup and bread, and headed over to her mother’s house.

I was nervous about seeing her. I think it had been almost 1 and half months since I had. But most of all I was nervous about how her mother might react. If she hated me before, I’m most certain she hated me now. But I wasn’t here to cause trouble.

I had sincerely changed. Working with Dr. Edwards was probably the best thing I’d done in my life. After we ended therapy I asked for more sessions just to work out more things. He and I had actually begun to develop a friendship. He was like my mentor now.

It was cool to have an older man to look up to for advice since my Dad and Mel were gone.

 My internship was going great but I told the Dentist I worked for  I had to quit due to a family emergency. Amb was important to me and had always been there for me. It was my time to show up for her. He told me he understood and said that he would possibly have a job for me after graduation.

I got out the car and headed to her front door. I rang the doorbell, there was nothing. I rang it again, still nothing. I rang one more time, and I could see a figure through the curtains looking out.

The figure was Mrs. Riley.

“Mrs. Riley I’m not here to cause trouble, just wanna make sure Amber alright.”

I heard the door unlock and she appeared behind it. Still keeping the screen locked.

“Amber not taking no visitors.” She said with a smug attitude.

 “Please let me see her. I won’t be able to sleep unless I know she ok.” I pleaded.

“Is that right?” She put her hand on her hips. “Was you thinking about her being on okay when you was about to knock her into the ground Ray Rice?”

I took a deep breath.

“Just give her this soup for me and let her know I still care about her and came by to show my support.”

“Ha!” She shook her head.

“You know what, you win Mrs. Riley. Have a blessed day.” I quickly bowed my head to her and walked away.

I got all the way down the steps, when she opened the door.

“Maybe you can get her out that room. She been hauled up in there ever since she got out. Won’t eat nothing. Won’t even let me in. I hate seeing her like this.”

I stared at her for a minute tucking my lip in my mouth. Then walked up the stairs.

“Thank you.” I hugged her.

She didn’t really hug me back, but that was cool. She closed the door behind me.

She in that room at the end of the hall. She pointed to the closed door.

As I was walking back there I noticed a baby crib in a room on my right. Amb had a baby? That kinda tore my heart up. Like damn we had just broke up and you couldn’t even wait to have a child?

But I wasn’t here for that. I was here because first off she was my friend and I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. I wasn’t looking to rekindle anything just to be sincerely there for her.

Dr. Edwards taught me that the way to move past a heartbreak is to forgive yourself and the other party no matter what the other party had done and to try to see them the best you could in a positive light. He also said to let go of any expectations of getting back together. If that was going to happen, it would happen naturally he said. Don’t force it.  

I wasn’t supporting Amb because I wanted to be with her, I was supporting her because I genuinely loved and cared for her. And whatever she needed, I was going to do. Whether that meant us being together or not.

“Amb it’s Aug. I just wanted to check on you.” I lightly tapped the door. There was no response.

“I brought you some soup, I thought you might be hungry.” I got closer to the door trying to see if I heard her on the other side.

There was still no response.

“Ey Mrs. Riley.” I walked to where she was sitting in the living room.

“Yeah?”

“She ain’t dead in there is she?” I panicked.

“No. Just being stubborn. I heard her get up to use the washroom a couple hours ago.”

“Can I see that bobbypin in your hair?”

She took it out.

“What you gon do with this?” She handed to me.

“Try to pick the lock.”

I went back to the door, I could feel Mrs. Riley watching me from down the hall. I sat the bag with the soup down on the floor for a second, then picked the lock until the door creaked opened.

I looked at her mother who was down the hall and gave me thumbs up to go inside.

Amb was completely under the covers, surrounded by nothing but balled up Kleenex. It was all over the floor and bed.

“Amb I just wanted to check on you.”

“Get out.” She sniffled.

“I brought you something to eat.”

She yanked the covers off her head and turned toward me.

“I said get out.” She looked at me evilly.

“Amb I’m just trying to be there for you.”

She picked up a shoe off the floor and threw it at me. I ducked. It missed me by an inch.

“Be there for that. Get out!”

“Why are you taking shit out on me?” I opened up my arms confused.

“Because you did this!” She sat up on the bed. “You were probably somewhere doing your little New Orleans voodoo, just waiting for Nate to die. Because you can’t stand to see me happy. Get the fuck out!” She screamed and started throwing all the pillows from the bed at me.

I just stood there, while pillows flew at all parts of my body reminding myself to ‘dim the lights’ like Dr. Edwards taught me. When she ran out of pillows, she curled up with the covers and cried.

I put the soup on a nightstand next to the bed and sat on the edge of the bed, turning to look at her.

“Amb I know you hurting. And yes I still love you, but I would never wish death on nobody. That was fucked up what went down with him.” I tried to touch her back.

She snatched away from me. “If you came here thinking I’m going to fall back in love with you, you’re wrong. I love Nate. He was perfect. He didn’t do anything but love me. I was no bitches to him. Even though he dealt with abuse himself, he never tried to hit me. He loved me with his entire heart.”  

I held my temple. “And I’m happy he did. I’m happy you had someone that could love you better than me.”

“He did and don’t you forget that.” She got in my face, then laid back in fetal position with the covers. With her back to me.

I got the soup off the nightstand. Opened it up and handed it to her.

“You need to eat something.”

She spit in it. She was trying the shit out of me, but so far Dr. Edwards would be damn proud.

I closed my eyes, put the lid back on the soup and sat it back on the night stand.

I got up, sat in the reclining chair in the corner and turned on the television.

“You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving until you eat.” I said calmly and flipped through the channels.

She laid back on the bed pouting. I let the chair back and got comfortable.

We sat in silence for almost an hour.

“Is everything alright in here?”

Her mother peeked her head in.

“Yeah we cool.” I looked over at her.

Amber’s head was now buried underneath the covers. Her mother threw the pillows on the floor on top of the bed.

“Girl keep my pillows off the floor.”

“Mama make him leave.” She said underneath the covers like a little girl.

“Mrs. Riley I told her I’m not leaving until she eats.” I turned my head to her then back toward the television.

“Amber you do need to eat something.”

“Fine.” She raised up from under the covers.

She ate a piece of the bread.

“Now get out.” She said chewing.

“That’s not considered a meal.”

“The soup is contaminated I can’t eat it.”

“Fine I’ll fix you something.”

She sucked her teeth.

“You mind if I use your kitchen Mrs. Riley?”

“Nah help yourself.”

I looked in the fridge and just decided to make something simple – a salad.

As I was in the kitchen the doorbell rang.

Mrs. Riley went to the front to get it. Because you could see the front door from the kitchen I saw Mrs. Riley look at me for a second, then open the door.

“Godmomma’s baby just would not stop crying. Amber got her so spoiled.” Tanya laughed holding a crying baby out to Mrs. Riley.

Tanya looked up at me and her smile faded. Her and Mrs. Riley exchanged a glance.

“He was here checking on Amber.” Mrs. Riley explained to her.

“Oh.”

I just looked down and continued to make the salad.

“Calm down Munch.” Mrs. Riley kissed the baby on her cheek but she wouldn’t stop crying.

I walked over to them.

“Can I?” I wiped the salad residue on my pants.

“Uh…sure.”

Tanya and Mrs. Riley exchanged weird glances.

I picked her up, “What-chu crying fuh?” I put my forehead to hers and shook my head a little. She let out a huge burp, then put her thumb in her mouth.

“Unh-unh. You a girl you ain’t supposed to be burping like no...” I imitated her loud burp and she started giggling hysterically.

I put my forehead to hers and did it again. She giggled hysterically this time softly grabbing my face. Her slob from her thumb was all over my cheek right cheek.

I laughed with her, and looked in her jubilant eyes.  That’s when Dr. Edwards words echoed in my ear.

“And when I would look in Jazzy’s eyes, I could just tell. It’s something about the connection you have with your kids. You just know.”

Right then I knew. This little girl was mine.

“Give her he--.” Ambs voice trailed off and she looked at her mother and Tanya.

The only sound that could be heard in the room was my daughter talking to me in her baby language.

I whispered in her ear, “It’s our secret.” And she smiled. I kissed her cheek and handed her to Amb.

“I made you a salad.” I said non-chalantly leaving them in the living room, all starring at each other.   

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