I had the most amazing day. We talked all day and there were times he held my hand. He lent me his jacket, and I layed my head on his shoulder. It was like we were on a date. It's everything I wanted. The only thing that was missing was for him to kiss me then it really would be perfect. I allowed myself to think we were on a date and to have the time of my life with him because tonight will determine where our friendship will lead. Once I arrived home, I realised. 

He has no feelings for me. Nothing. Not one bit. I'm just a friend. Why did I think that this was a good idea? There's no turning back now...This is it. Flopping down on my bed, I wallowed in sadness. I reminisced all our good memories together and even all the sad ones.

"V, please open up" Matt says from outside the door

"Matt...please just leave me alone" I say. I hear him sigh. I go back to my memories, when suddenly a hand is rubbing my back. I jump up in surprise, but I am soon brought into a hug. I relax into the hug as soon as I hear Andrew's voice.

"It's time to tell him...huh?" He asks. I shakily nod my head.

"You can do it Baby V...I believe in you" He says. I take a deep breath

"Yeah...you're right Drew...I can do it" I say.

Andrew stayed by my side and helped me keep my emotions in check although he fell asleep just as soon as I was about to leave. I kissed his forehead and quickly left to the place where I first met Daniel, the park.

Flashback

"Daddy, can I go play on the slide?" The 7 year old me said

"Okay, sweetie, but be careful. Make sure you don't hurt yourself."

I ran to the slide as fast as I could. Daddy is the only one who lets me play in the park playground. Mommy is always too scared to let me play. She says that I might hurt myself.  She only lets me play in the sand box, but the sand box smells bad. 

I climbed up the slide and instead of sliding down, I stayed on the top. I looked around the park. Not much people were out today. 

"Hey!" 

I looked down to see a little boy waving at me from below the slide. I slide down and he smiles brightly at me. The boy has really pretty green eyes. My eyes are boring grey. I smile back at the boy.

"Can I slide with you?"

"Sure!"

We slid down the slide a couple more times until we get tired. I sit at the end of the slide and he sits on the ground in front of me. I realised that he never told me his name...

"My name's Verdana, what's yours?"

"I'm Daniel!"

End of Flashback 

It wasn't that exciting of a meeting, but as the days went by, my Dad took me to the park more and more to let off some steam from fighting with Mom. I met up with Daniel and we would slide and play on the swings a lot. It didn't take long for us to become best friends. We used to always talk about the bad smelling  sand box. His Mom, who is the one who took him to the park, noticed that we were becoming friends and befriended my parents too. We ended up going to the same school and the same high school. I didn't imagine that 9 years later we would end up being the best of friends, that 10 years later I would be confessing my love to him.

AS I waited, I hoped he wouldn't come, but at exactly midnight, he came. I had my hood up so he couldn't see my face yet. It was quite obvious that I was the one he was supposed to meet since I was the only other person there. He sits next to me and clears his throat.

This is it Verdana...You can do it.

"So uhm look what you did is really sweet and all, but I have a girlfriend. I'm sorry if I might've hurt your feelings" He says

"You've hurt my feelings ever since you started dating other girls." I say in a low voice

"Hey...I bet you're a great person and you can find someone better" He says. I lay my head on his shoulder which makes him tense. I remove my hood and he gasps

"I don't know Daniel...I've already fallen for you..." I look straight into the darkness, but he makes me face him

"V..." He says in a soft voice.

"...yeah" I smile lightly. He looks at me with sad eyes

"I-I" He stutters

"Look Daniel, I know you really like Julie and I can't stop you. I can't do anything other than push my feelings away just like I've been doing for these past years. But I really do love you. So much it hurts. I know you don't love me back. But I needed to tell you" I look at him straight in the eye as I say all this. He suddenly realizes something and hugs me tightly.

"We will still be friends. Please. This is not going to ruin our friendship. Please. V, your my rock. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me ever. Please don't let this ruin our friendship." He says almost crying. I hug him back, but soon let go.

"Here..." I hand him my journal.  He takes it, looking up at me in confusion

"I can't explain to you how I feel but I've written it down. Everything. Ever since I had a small crush on you. It's all there" I say, and then hand him a letter 

"You might not read it, but that's okay. I know that you say this won't ruin our friendship, but being near you and watching you be with Julie is painful. It's hurting me. It's not good for me." 

"Daniel...God...I love you so much it hurts. It hurts that you don't love me back. It hurts that for the sake of your happiness, I have to push away all these emotions. It's getting tiring...which is why I'm telling you now. I'm gonna tell you one more time because this may be the last time I'll ever have the chance. I love you Daniel. I love you. I love you. I love you."

I leave a lingering kiss on his cheek, before standing up. This whole time he is frozen in shock with nothing to say anymore. I smile lightly at him and memories every single detail of his face, form his emerald green eyes to the little mole near his ear. I take it all in.

"If only you loved me back, Daniel...If Only..."

If only I knew...that this wouldn't just change me, but him as well

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