3. More Than Meets The Eye

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Damian Belfort had kissed me.

And I enjoyed it.

I was officially damned.

"He's such a jerk. I can't believe he had the nerve to do that." I conceded bitterly, staring in the horizon. My thoughts didn't coincide with my words, but I still meant them. What he had done was inappropriate, and his attitude was even worse. I didn't want to think about him anymore -- I spent the whole Physics lesson doing that. The fact that the whole school could know about our kiss if someone who witnessed it would talk and spread rumours about it was a terrifying prospect.

I didn't deal with gossip well. It affected me more than it should.

"To his defence, he knew you were going to slap him and he...well, made it easier for you?" Ellie suggested, tucking a strand of her light copper hair.

We were walking down the street, heading home. Our houses were in the same direction, but still far from one another. After Physics, no one from the Elite Group approached me and luckily, I didn't run into Avery. There was only so much I could handle in one day.

"Gabrielle, are you trying to defend him?" I asked her aggrievedly, checking her facial expression. Ever since the kiss, she was acting a little bit off. She seemed upset.

"No, I just..." she stopped, pondering the right words. She shrugged her narrow shoulders.

In the light of the sun, her beautiful hair looked gilded. She had some freckles on her nose and cheeks, but they were only visible up close. Sometimes I wished I had freckles. Such a unique, personal trademark.

"I think he's being mistreated by everyone." she continued. "Yes, he was often seen fighting with Monica and there's no one to support his alibi, but that doesn't automatically make him a bad person, and it certainly doesn't make him a killer. People keep labelling him one and it makes me angry. It's not fair. He's innocent until proven otherwise."

I never really gave it much thought and I suddenly felt ashamed for judging him. Ellie was right, of course, but I couldn't make myself fully sympathize with him. Perhaps a first kiss wasn't a big deal for most people, but it was for me. I wish it were under different circumstances, in a more private place. Because people always remembered their first kiss. I knew I'd remember mine. But it meant nothing to him; he probably saw it as a game, whilst to me, it was something more than that. I always dreamt it'd be with a special person who would truly care about me. But we'd walk down the hall and ignore each other. We'd never speak again. We were and would be strangers.

I scolded myself mentally. I was overreacting over a stupid kiss. I always wanted to be in control, and when that didn't happen, I was frustrated. But now it was time to get over it.

"He shouldn't have kissed you. But you shouldn't have accepted the dare either. I don't know, Bel, I just feel like your rivalry with Avery is making you do crazy things. You skipped Geography class three times in a row, you smoked one of Devon's cigarettes which made you cough for ten minutes straight...Point is, you shouldn't do things you don't want to do only to be a part of their messed up clique." Ellie concluded, looking at me worryingly.

I pondered over her words for a while. Was I really becoming someone else? I didn't believe I was. I enjoyed the adrenaline that ran through my veins when I was doing something forbidden, I enjoyed a bit of trouble and sometimes thought I even attracted it. As long as it wasn't life-threatening, some fun could never hurt, could it? Having regrets wasn't allowed. What was the point of them? Once you'd done something, you couldn't undo it. Our actions had consequences and we had to take responsibility for them. I wasn't always making the right choices, but at least I had something worth remembering, from time to time.

"I know. But those were my decisions, okay? I promise I'm not obliged by them to do anything. And I agree, perhaps slapping someone without a reason might be overstepping it, but hey, they've done worse. Like, much worse." I disclosed innocently, giving her a small smile.

Gabrielle stopped for a moment and bit her lower lip pensively.

"Yeah, I don't even want to know." she said after a while, sighing.

It was a brisk late October afternoon. My vision was often crossed by chocolate strands because of the wind, and although I tried keeping my hair away from my face, it was to no avail. The sky was cloudless but smeared with cobalt, and the crisp copper leaves crunched under our feet.

"So, who do you think did it?" I asked her all of the sudden, placing my hands in the pockets of my dark red jacket to warm them up.

She slightly flinched. She clearly got lost in thought.

"What do you mean?"

"Who told Damian about the dare?"

"Oh. I honestly have no idea. He probably eavesdropped the conversation." she predicted, keeping her eyes on the road.

I nodded affirmatively. For some reason, that didn't convince me. At all. Someone from the Elite Group was secretly a friend of Damian's. I just needed to find out who.


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