25. Last Judgement

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we will open the book. its pages are blank. we are going to put words on them ourselves. the book is called opportunity and its first chapter is new year's day.

edith lovejoy pierce

__________

The festive smell of scented candles and food filled my house once again, but it wasn't enough to stifle the melancholy that roamed over us, death's shadow still lingering in the corners, waiting patiently to strike again. I had a sense of foreboding that I couldn't shake. This New Year was nothing like the rest; we were seated at the table and dining as usual, but I felt strange, as if my body belonged to someone else and I was just a marionette.

And whilst my family was acting as if nothing had happened, the Halloways were mourning the death of their daughter. Paul, her boyfriend, was probably taking a trip down memory lane, keeping Avery alive in his mind. And the Belforts were trying to put all differences aside and celebrate (not New Year's Eve though; most likely, their unexpected reunion, no matter how short it was.)

"Rosie?" my father called out, breaking me out of my trance. "There's someone who wants to see you."

My heart jumped upon hearing that, a sliver of hope blossoming inside me. I straightened my champagne-coloured dress and leapt to my feet, but the person who came inside wasn't the one I expected.

It was Devon, holding a box of chocolates and in another hand, a beautiful gift, wrapped in red sparkling paper. He greeted us and offered my mom the box of chocolates. I was surprised to see him. He was dressed in an elegant suit, his golden hair catching the light, and his chin had grown a subtle designer stubble, that suited him, but at the same time, made him look more mature. He approached me with his conqueror smile and kissed my cheek softly.

"Happy New Year." he congratulated me, handing me the gift. For the first time, I didn't discern any whiff of cigarettes. Maybe he had given up smoking?

"Happy New Year." I responded, taking the box. It wasn't heavy, and I was already dying of curiosity to see what was inside. "Thank you, but you didn't have to. I don't have any gift for you." I admitted awkwardly.

"A hug will suffice." he chuckled. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he added more seriously.

"Of course." I nodded, beckoning him to follow me. I lead him to my room and closed the door after he got in. I placed his gift on the table as he sat on the bed. His eyes wandered over my body for a moment.

"You look exquisite." he complimented me.

I sat next to him, tracing my fingertips over the sparkling straps and leaves on my dress.

"Thank you."

"I just...I wanted to make things right between us. A new year is beginning and I didn't want to end this one badly." His tone was gentle and he placed his hand over mine, making me look him in the eye. I wondered whether his intentions were purely friendly or there was something else hidden in his woeful grey hues. "I lost my cousin four months ago. I lost my friend six days ago. I don't want to lose you, ever."

"I promise not to die any time soon, then." I laughed without mirth, tilting my head to the right.

"I'm serious, Rosabel. I want to put our differences behind us and give us a chance."

Oh.

I parted my lips, but he shook his head to keep me silent.

"Don't say anything now. Think about it, okay?"

There is nothing to think about, I wanted to say for a second, but I stopped myself. There was a time when I would have been exhilarated by such a declaration, especially coming from Devon. I had had a crush on him for years, and I could only dream about this moment. But it was real now, and I wasn't that elated. Because I wanted to hear those words from someone else's mouth. I wanted someone else's hand over mine, someone else's eyes blazing through mine.

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it. He was attractive, he was handsome, and I couldn't find any reason why I wouldn't want to be with him, but one.

He wasn't Damian.

"Come sit with us, Devon." my mother invited him as soon as we returned to the living room.

I shook my head promptly towards my mom in tacit dissent, but she rebuked me with a look.

"If Rosabel doesn't mind..." he started, and my mother cut him off:

"Nonsense. She'll be thrilled. Isn't that right, darling?"

I knew what she was doing. Now that Damian was suspected (wrongfully) of murder, she wasn't that fond of him and tried to keep me away from him at all costs, even if it meant shoving Devon into my arms (literally). My father gave me an apologetic smile behind mom's back.

"Of course." I replied.

"Let's take a picture first!"

Devon chuckled upon hearing my mother. As she disappeared into her bedroom to fetch her phone, he inclined towards me and whispered into my ear:

"Is she always this enthusiastic?"

"She's just getting started."

***

Devon was getting along really well with both of my parents. My cat didn't like him that much, but he rarely liked strangers, so it was only natural that he ran away from him when he tried to pat him.

It was nice having him by my side. He was joking and making us laugh, and I found myself enjoying the dinner. But at a quarter to twelve AM I received a text, and it was enough to make my heart go into overdrive.

I bit my lower lip and typed:



His message came a minute later.

I tried to hide my excited smile and put on a serious face. I got up from the table and excused myself, hoping that my mother wouldn't ask me where I was going. Luckily, she was busy discussing music composers with Devon, who struggled with all the new information he had to process about Johann Sebastian Bach.

I opened the entrance door and found him standing on the porch. Without hesitating, I pulled him by the arm inside, closing the door silently after him.

"What are you doing?" he mouthed to me as I dragged him through the hallway.

"Bel, dear? Was that the door?" my mother called out from the living room. Damn her keen ears!

"Yes, it was. Just taking in some fresh air. I'll be right back."  I shouted to her, leading him to the library.

As we entered, I closed the door after us and finally contemplated his figure. Underneath his dark blue coat, he was wearing black jeans and a light blue shirt. It was now I noticed the gift bag he had in his left hand. I scolded myself mentally for not preparing gifts. With everything that happened, it had completely slipped from my mind. Some messy strands of his hair fell into his eyes, and he whisked his head to the side to sweep them off. As usual, I was enchanted by his effortless grace and strong presence, but I raised my chin slightly upwards to maintain my confidence and not be intimidated by his tall lithe frame.

His cold, dark hues explored my silhouette for a moment, and I felt every inch of my body his sight landed on catching on fire, ironically.

"It was cold outside. That's why I pulled you into the house." I explained, leaning against the door.

"You mean, that's why you sneaked me into the house. Was that because of your parents, or because of your little dandy?"

I shot him a reprimanding look. He gave me his signature crooked smile, making me want to slap and kiss him simultaneously.

"Did you come all the way here to be a smartass?" I quipped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Mainly, yes." he chuckled with an amused glint in his eyes. "I also came here to give you this," he motioned to the present with his head. "Do you think you could come closer so I could hand it to you?"

"If you say please," I uttered in a husky tone with a brazen smirk.

"Do you want me to beg? On my knees?" he asked without any trace of a joke.

I laughed, lowering my head so my hair would cover the flush of embarrassment that rose to my cheeks.

"I'd go down for you anytime," he said suggestively, making my breath hitch and my heart skip a beat.

Don't think of dirty things, don't think of dirty things, I ordered my brain, clearing my throat and approaching him nervously. So much for acting confident! Keep it PG-13, I reminded myself, exhaling sharply.

"Oh God, just shut up."

"Make me." he provoked me. "I'm afraid that's not close enough."

I rolled my eyes, secretly enjoying this. I stepped closer to him, until there was one foot between us.

"How about now?"

"For giving you the present, it's perfect. For shutting me up, not so much."

I took the gift bag from him with slightly trembling fingers, trying to calm the thump of my heart. It was so loud I was sure he could hear it.

"Thank you. You didn't have to..."

"I wanted to. It's the least I could do to prove my..."

As he halted, I heard the countdown from the live transmission on the River Thames that was playing in the living room loudly. It was the voice of thousands of people, gathered in the centre of London to welcome the new year. Ten, nine, eight...

"To prove my love to you. Because if there's one thing I realised this year..."

Six, five, four...

"...it's that I love you. I love you, Rosabel. I love you more than anything on earth and..."

Three, two, one...

I didn't let him finish. Just as Big Ben struck midnight, I closed off the distance between us, and standing on my toes, I collided my lips with his. I dropped the gift on the floor as his hands encircled my waist and he pulled me up from the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed as the Great Bell chimed, hot frissons running down my spine. The sounds reverberated deep inside me, shaking my whole world. I had missed his soft lips, the tingly sensation that inundated me, his touch. He tasted like passion, like heaven, like love. It felt surreal.

He had actually said it. I couldn't believe it.

He put me down gently, his hands trailing down my spine slowly. There was nothing innocent in the way his lips brushed mine. The kiss was fiery, demanding, leaving me breathless. I lodged my hand in his hair and tugged at it slightly, making him let out a hasty pant against my lips. I smiled as he parted them with his hungrily, and...

"Rosabel! Where are you? You're missing the fireworks."

Little did my mom know about the fireworks in my heart...

He pulled away slowly, reluctantly. We both took shaky, shallow breaths, with the hugest smile on our faces.

"I better go." he uttered.

"You better." I nodded. I licked my lower lip, and he gave me an almost pleading look. "What is it?"

"Don't..don't do that. Otherwise, I'm not letting you out of here any soon. Have some mercy."

"Don't do what? This?" I licked my lower lip again and bit it intentionally, adding more fuel to the fire. 

He leaned in close to my ear, his whisper so seductive it gave me goosebumps:

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

His lips found mine again. He pinned me to the wall, adrenaline rushing in my blood, spreading all over my body. He was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of, my only source of euphoria and beatitude. But as much as I wanted for this moment to last forever, I realized how reckless we were being. Anyone could walk in on us and catch us. I was the one to pull away this time, pressing my hand against his hard chest. We stared at each other, his eyes two black whirlpools of lust and desire and adoration. Did he really love me as much as he said?

I love you more than anything on earth...

I parted my lips, but he placed his index finger on them.

"I know, I know." he smiled tacitly. "I'll keep my hands to myself. And my lips too."

"Good." I teased him, straightening my dress and taking a deep breath. I was striving to maintain a composed facade, but I was somewhat failing, overrun by a swarm of emotions. How could I return to my parents and Devon after this? How could I act as if nothing had happened?

I strode to the door and opened it slowly. I was still slightly trembling from his declaration and our heated kiss. Luckily, everyone was in the living room. I beckoned for him to follow me and we both slipped out of the house.

"Happy New Year. Thank you for...everything."

He gave me a smile that made my heart flutter.

"Happy New Year. Now get back inside, you'll catch a cold."

"I will."

We looked at each other awkwardly. He leaned in and kissed me again, this time softly.

"Just so you have something to think about when you'll sit down next to Devon again."

He disappeared into the dark, leaving me with thousands of sensations and feelings. I was so happy I could scream from the top of my lungs. He loved me. He actually said he loved me. I hid my face into my palms, taking slow deep breaths. I was all flustered and emotional akin to an over-enamoured teenager.

And then something hard hit me in my head, sending me to the ground.

Everything turned black after that.


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