Nina

I parked my car out front and made my way into the daycare for my shift. I had a few assignments still due from the classes I was enrolled in, but since I was working the early shift a lot of the younger kids would be coming in early in the morning. After I got them all settled I'd be able to get started on my work.

My stomach growled a bit and I sighed, putting my head down on the reception desk. Days like this were the longest, and I needed coffee and food asap.

I pulled out my phone and opened up my messages with Jay. We've been texting like crazy for a few weeks but he's been so busy with the court case and all. Ole girl so fucked up for that, honestly. Jay's a good father and he would never do anything to hurt Correy. I know the whole situation is taking it's toll on him, so I'm thinking of doing something nice for him. I still don't know what, though.

I started typing a good morning text but then realized how early it was. I didn't want the notification to wake him up at 5am, so I deleted it. But he's an early bird so maybe I should go ahead and send it? I like him so much it's making me sick. I'm literally sitting here debating on whether I should click send or keep it pushing. I'm so sprung that you'd think he was fucking me good. And I won't lie and say I haven't thought about all the shit I want him to do to me..

I shook my head. I needa take my ass to church.

I heard the wind chimes over the door ring out, meaning one of the first parents arrived to drop off their child. Looking up, I saw that it was Mrs. Mays, one of the regulars here "Mornin', Mrs. Mays. How you doin' today?"

Unlike some of these rude ass parents, Mrs. Mays was sweet and always checked up on the staff, specifically me. "I'm good baby. How them classes going for you?"

"I'm pushin' through, that's fasho. The twins staying all day today?" She nodded and looked down at Mycah and Morgan who were both rubbing their eyes. Mrs. Mays worked long hours at a top notch law firm, I'm talking high profile cases like the ones that be on the news. I would love to work there with her and be apart of all of that once I get to law school and finish. Her success comes with long work days though, and most weekends the twins are here from open to close.

"You keep working, Nina. You're gonna make it, hear me?"

"Yes ma'am," I smiled. After she finished signing them in, I told the twins they could go to the nap room until it was time for breakfast. "Thank you Ms. Nina. Come on Mo," Mycah waved to me and walked hand in hand with his sister down the hall. Those two were peas in a pod. After watching their slow walk to the room, she turned to look at me.

"I don't know who got you glowing this early in the morning, Nina, but I'll say it's good to see you like this," Mrs. Mays grinned.

"What, I--" Heat rushed to my face.

"Mm m, chile. Don't even try and deny it. It's a little someone special in your life; you got that sparkle in your eye. I won't push you too much, just know I'm happy for ya." We exchanged goodbyes and she left the way she came.

As if on cue, Jaylen's name popped up on my screen.

iMessage

jay🤞🏾
i saw u typing don't even play w me girl 🤣
tryna act like u ain't falling for me

hush😭

jay🤞🏾
just click send next time okay😉

🤦🏾‍♀️. what you want ?

jay🤞🏾
you working today?

mhm

jay🤞🏾
bet
i'm finna go back to sleep

need to with them eye bags

jay🤞🏾
ik good and well you not talking to me about eye bags Ms. Imma Stay Up Till 6am Doing Work That I Shoulda Been Did 😐

you in my business ?? don't do that 🥱

jay🤞🏾
word? nvm then

nvm whattttt ?

jay🤞🏾
nothing.

not you mad

jay🤞🏾
no

😐

jay🤞🏾
you ain't see when i said i was going back to sleep ..

where ? the message ain't send

jay🤞🏾
keep playin

lmao it's cool , gts if you want to . i just miss you

jay🤞🏾
i miss u too nina mina
here so you can rmb me

*Attachment: 1 Image*

it's giving very much he call me big purr😂

jay🤞🏾
dude shut up 💀

no but why you look that good at 5am ? what's your secret fr

jay🤞🏾
my secret: [Link: Thinkin Bout You- Frank Ocean] 0:25

you corny ! but awww🥺

jay🤞🏾
you got ya hand over ya face rn don't u ?

stop readin me 🧍‍♀️
imma let you sleep tho. text me later

jay🤞🏾
alright mama

Something about mama just did it for me. I smiled and put my phone down, already knowing that rush hour was about to start. While I greeted parents and waved at kids, my mind drifted to where I wanted to be: right next to Jay in that bed.

Domonique

TW: mental illness/ unaliving

"Raheem. You ain't gotta do this every morning," I sighed, turning around in the bed. For the past three days he's stayed with me, I've woken up to him standing in my doorway watching me sleep.

"I gotta make sure it's real," he shook his head. I rolled out and threw the covers over the spot where I was sleeping, then slipped on my house shoes. I tried walking past him and out to the kitchen, but he pulled me back into one of those bear hugs and squeezed as hard as he could.

"Okay, okay! Put me down so we can talk."

"I'm not talking if you not cooking," he followed behind me.

I shrugged, "I guess both of us lose then." I didn't feel like making nothing because this nigga cleared out my whole fridge and pantry in only a few days. I would make a meal for the both of us and he would eat mine and his. I don't know how his ass doesn't put on any weight.

Rah frowned and looked at me. I shook my head, "Nah don't do that. Didn't nobody tell yo hog ass to finish up all the damn food before I could run to the store."

"Okay then let's go eat something cause I'm feeling my stomach in my back bro," he curled up in a ball, making me laugh. "What you in the mood for?"

"Ummm what's that thing y'all ladies like to go eat? Y'all be having that liquor and orange juice," he scrunched his face up thinking.

"Brunch? And it's called a mimosa," I said. I turned and grabbed a glass, filling it up with water so I could take my medicine. I untwisted the caps of the three bottles and took a pill out of each one. After taking a big sip of water I threw them all back and swallowed. Rah looked up from his phone slightly confused.

I'm not one for secrets, especially since we lost so much time together. It didn't bother me to be open with what I was going through because I know Raheem played no part in it. All he ever wanted to do was make things better between us, and I wanted the same.

The trauma of being stabbed twice and then actually "dying" the second time took its toll on my physical health, but also my mental. I was extremely paranoid to where I wouldn't leave the house for weeks, until I absolutely had no food or supplies left and I was forced to go. I couldn't sleep most nights, the darkness reminding me of where I had been. My life was a series of nothingness, and looking in the mirror reminded me so much of what I had lost, who I had lost. Jaylen, Wren, and Flora were the only people in my life who gave a fuck about me and I lost them. Knowing they were hurting thinking I was dead ate me up and I couldn't help but feel responsible.

I would be lying if I said I didn't have days where I didn't want to end it all. To die forreal this time and be done with all the harsh feelings I felt.

It took another failed attempt on my life for me to seek help. I had been given another chance at life and I couldn't waste it. It started with me reinventing myself as Robin Dabank to add some humor in my life. That shit cracked me up every time I had to say it. Through my therapist and psychiatrist I've been able to rebuild myself, every day finding pieces of me that I thought were lost.

Seeing my brother gave me back a part of my heart that I thought was gone.

After hearing me explain everything, Raheem rubbed my back and pulled me into another one of his hugs, this time a more gentle one. "Fuck, man..."

"It's okay, Rah. Don't go back there." Seeing him shut down like he did on the first night was difficult. That look in his eyes when he gets like that scares the hell out of me. Like all he's seeing is red and he's finna start knocking niggas heads off they shoulders. Raheem was way calmer than Jordan in most situations, but if you made Raheem mad? It was over, done, faneto.

"I'm not. At least not yet."

I raised my eyebrows and went to go get ready to go out. We still had a lot more to discuss, but it was in my best interest to let that nigga eat first.

We put our menus in the waiter's hand and he handed us our mimosas.

"It ain't meant to be chugged, Rah. You posed to ✨sip✨ it, like this," I put the glass up to my mouth and took a little sip.

"Sip my ass. Do it look like I'm bad and boujee?"

"Not bad, not boujee... just ghetto." He finished his drink in one gulp and was about to let out a burp when I gave him that look that he better not try it.

Our food wouldn't be coming out for at least another fifteen minutes, but I wasn't about to sit there in silence when I had so much to say.

"Here we go," Rah sighed and crossed his arms.

"What are you doing here? Ain't y'all running shit in New York? What's in New Orleans besides me?"

"I'm putting shit in motion, D. And Ion wanna say too much about it, so if some happen you can deny it all. Just know alotta the shit that slid back then finna stop sliding. Heads gon roll."

"But Rah, what does that mean? You know I've tried to distance myself from the bullshit y'all have going on and it never worked out for me. I love being here with you and being able to kick it, but my life ain't what it used to be. Tell me what's really going on, please. You owe me that much."  He shook his head, that defiance he had when we were younger still shining through.

"You know that I'm alive. Sydney knows. But you know better than anyone that shit like this doesn't stay tucked away. You won't say nothing, but what if she does? What if she tell them that she didn't actually kill me? What about Dawn and Mama? They clearly won't stop until I'm as dead, and I can't go through that again. And then Jordan, what about him? How much does he know--"

"Domo, please take a breath. You scaring me." I rubbed my palms together and breathed in through my nose. It was making me anxious how much I didn't know, and I just wished he would be open. There were too many gaps and unanswered questions.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but--"

"I got shit covered. No one is gonna find out Sydney let you go because I'm shipping her ass somewhere far. Dawn nor our mother is gonna be able to find her, and I don't think they'd care either. And as far as Jordan, that nigga about the business. I'm sure he was hurt when you 'died' but he keeps his shit locked away. No vulnerability in this game." I rolled my eyes at that.

"No vulnerability but you still here? Ain't you exposing yourself bein here wit me?"

"I thought you said you trusted me. New Orleans is my city. Ain't nobody here snitching on me to Mama or Jordy. Why? Because I put half these niggas up where they at now. Nobody crossing me here. Nobody finna touch you, either. So don't even trip off that," I nodded, trying so badly to believe him.

The mention of Jordan sent a wave of sadness through me. Last time we spoke, it wasn't pleasant. When I first confronted my mother about trying to kill me. When she called me a liability and wanted me dead, and Jordan refused to believe anything I had to say. When he thought I was whoring myself out to Jaylen.

Jay was the hardest person to give up, to let go of. I loved him so much, but I was so angry with him over everything he put me through, always deciding to put me last. Sierra, then Sydney, but never me. I guess S stood for snake, because that's exactly what both of them bitches were.

"D, I got you. Once this is all over you can get your life back."

That was the thing, how much did I want my old life back? Things change so much in five years. Although I could never go see them, I always checked up on everyone through social media. I'd scroll through their feeds, looking for proof that they were okay. And seeing that they were made me happy.

Wren and Flora had their little girl, Harley, and she seemed so full of energy. I would have been such a great auntie to her, spoiled the little girl rotten too.

And Jay. His brand was always featured in the news, he always had events, and he was moving up. Plus his son was so adorable. I could say whatever I wanted to about Sierra, but they made a beautiful child.

I was so proud of him and everything they had accomplished, but I don't know if I could ever see myself being apart of their lives again. Maybe it was time for me to let it all go. Seeing them at my grave should have been enough, but I always felt myself wanting more. Wanting to hug them and laugh with them and cry with them.

I pushed down the fear and anxiety that threatened to overwhelm me and looked my brother in his eyes. "Okay, I believe you. Don't let me down."

a/n: i just KNOW y'all happy that domonique is back. after all that shit y'all put me through with them comments about hating me for killing her off. well you can't kill a bad bitch, and we all know D fits the criteria.
hope y'all liked this one.

-ColeWoorld