Nina

"Ja'Nina Marie. Somethin's botherin' you and I can tell. I know my daughter."

I sighed, not really looking my mother in the eyes. If I started telling her what was making me so nervous, then I'd have to explain everything. And I wasn't ready to get into all that with her just yet.

"It's nothing, Momma. They just brought the food out, lets eat first."

"Yeah okay," she side eyed me and picked up her fork.

I usually went out for brunch with my mom once a week, just so we could catch up and I could make sure she was doing alright. Out of me and my siblings, me and her are the closest. The rest of 'em just be running around wrecking shit. I try not to give her so much stress, but Junira, Ja'Niyah, Carter, Cole, and Cameron just be giving her enough hell for the both of us.

Momma started in on her food but I just couldn't bring myself to touch the omelet I had ordered. I felt like I was gonna throw up forreal.

Four bites in, she noticed I hadn't touched my plate. "Girl if you don't start talkin' now, Imma knock your head clean off them shoulders."

I chuckled at her little threat and took a sip of water. "It's nothing, Momma."

"It ain't nothing if my baby not eating. You never been like your twin; Niyah ain't ever like eating nothing. But your appetite was always big, and that's why you stronger than her now. You used to be handing her that ass whenever y'all'd fight."

I sighed, knowing I'd never be able to hold out. "You know that guy I told you about?"

"Mhm. What was his name, Jerry or somethin'?"

"No, girl. Jaylen."

"Who you callin' girl, lil' missy? I'm yo momma, not yo 'girl'."

I rolled my eyes. "You know good and well you like when I call you girl."

"I'm not gon lie, I do. But don't run and tell your brothers and sisters because they'll take it and run. Gon be calling me girl in front the church members. Then Imma get pissed and whoop all they big asses during service."

I laughed, clutching my stomach, knowing good and well she would do it. It wouldn't be the first time she popped one of us at church. "I'm glad to see you smile, bee." I cheesed harder hearing my childhood nickname again. Damn, my mother knew just how to get me.

"But tell me what's goin' on. You always wit' him and too busy to come talk to ya Momma. I damn near had to beg you to come pick me up today."

I smacked. "Now that ain't true. I been a lil busy wit' classes. Midterms and all." It wasn't fully a lie, but I did feel guilty for not keeping to our weekly dates enough.

"But I am sorry I haven't been coming around often."

"Ah, I'm just messing wit' you, bee. I see Junie, Cam, Cole, Carter, and Niyah just enough. Sometimes maybe too much. So gon head, I'm waitin'."

"Well, we've gotten pretty close over the past few months."

She leaned forward expectantly. "Okay anddddd? I need details! Y'all gettin' freaky?" She smirked.

"Momma! I'm not talmbout that wit' you!"

"Aht, you oughta know yourself, Nina. You brown but you still kinda yella, your face all red too."

I put my hands up to my face to hide the fact that I was blushing, but she was too busy laughing at me.

"Anyway. He wants me to meet his son this afternoon. And I'm nervous."

Correy had been back for almost a week, and in that week I hadn't stopped by once. I went from being there most days after my classes or on the weekends, to not coming by at all. I wanted to give Jay space to have one on one time with his son after them being apart for so long.

But then Jay called me asking if everything was okay, since I hadn't called or texted since the day Correy came back.

"Damn it's like that, you ghosting me? Shame," he said playfully.

I wasn't trying to be distant, I just thought maybe he didn't want me around his son. It was still a little early in our relationship, I didn't want to assume anything. If Jay wanted me around, I'd allow him to make that decision.

"I'm not."

"So wassup then?"

"Nothin'."

"Oh well, that's too bad. I wanted to you to meet someone."

"Who?"

He smacked. "Correy, duh. He been askin' about you."

"Wait, forreal? How he know who I am?"

"Harley just be running her mouth. She said you was a queen, the prettiest, nicest one in the world. And now he ain't stopped talmbout meetin' you since."

A grin came across my face. "So you gon come, or I gotta beg?"

"Beg."

"Girl."

"Guess I ain't coming."

"Mcht. You know what? I got somethin' even better."

I heard some shuffling around and then a different voice began to speak. "Hi, is this the queen?" It was Correy, with his cute little baby voice.

"Mhm," was all I could say because I was smiling so hard.

He started giggling, "Queen! I heard you was nice and pretty. And TT Wren and TT Flora said you make Daddy happy, and you take care of him when I gone."

"Boy, you talk too much," Jay cut in.

"Daddy I'm still talkin'! So Queen, when I can meet you?"

I checked my calendar to see if I had any work due. "I'll come see you... tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Yes! I'm ready. Daddy can you iron my good suit? I wanna look good for Queen!"

And that was all last night. "I shouldn't have said yes so fast. I mean what if I say the wrong thing or he doesn't like me or--"

"Chile, hush. You'll be just fine."

She went back to eating like it was nothing, but I still wasn't gonna touch my food. My stomach was turning just thinking about going over there today. Even though I was just meeting a five year old, it seemed like I was meeting the president.

Kids are the best judge of character; they brutally honest and if they don't like you, they'll say it.

"But how you know, Momma?"

"Cause I'm the one who raised you. And I raised an intelligent, beautiful young lady who knows how to carry herself. That lil boy gon love you, and his father gon be wrapped right around your finger after he see how good you are with his son."

I nodded, trying to accept her words as truth. She was completely right, I just have to believe in myself. And don't overthink it.

"All stressed and starved over a baby. Mm m, Ja'Nina. You gotta eat this damn food 'fore you go anywhere, and I'm not playin'."

I picked up my fork, feeling a little better about later today.

I tapped on the door lightly after texting Jay saying I was there. My mom did help to calm me down, but my heart was still beating out my chest.

After a few seconds, he opened the door wearing his usual t-shirt and sweats. And just that was enough to make my insides flutter.

"Finally. Lil man finna be so happy."

I covered my mouth, acting fake hurt. "Oh, so you wasn't excited to see me too?"

"Come here," he pulled me in and wrapped me up in a hug, kissing my lips softly. He pulled away but I stole one more peck.

"You nervous?"

"Mhm."

"Y'all this girl scared of a baby," he started clowning me. I pushed his head and walked around to the living room where I set my stuff down.

I took a deep breath, some of the anxiety leaving me. "And where is the man of the hour?"

"Correy!"

There was a second of silence, then a little voice responded. "No, Daddy! Remember what yo' job is!"

Jay smacked his teeth and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. "What's goin' on?"

"Nothin'. Just play along." We walked down the short hallway to Correy's room, then Jay knocked on the door.

The door opened, with Correy standing at our feet. He was actually wearing a cute little button down and his hair was freshly braided. It looked like he was wearing one of his daddy chains, too.

"Queen! Look what I did for you!" He opened the door some more and let us in. He had purple balloons all over the floor except for where a chair sat right in the middle. It had blankets draped over it as well as gold fairy lights.

Correy took my hand and led me over to the chair, where there was a drawing he handed to me. "This your queen chair, do you like it?"

I smiled and wrapped him up in a hug. "Yes! I can't believe you did all this for me!"

He nodded excitedly, explaining everything. How Jay told him my favorite color was purple, so Correy insisted on blowing up purple balloons all by himself. And how he wanted to decorate my 'throne' so it would be fit for a queen.

We sat in the throne together, with him explaining the drawing he made me. It was four people standing outside, with grass and the lil sun you draw in corner of the page.

"This me and Daddy," he pointed to the tallest stick figure and the shortest one, standing together. "This you," he pointed to the stick figure with long hair and a crown. "And this my TT Nique. Daddy said she my angel and she always wit' me, so I always draw her." There was a smaller figure in the sky, with angel wings and a halo.

In the corner of my eye, Jay smiled a small, sad smile. I didn't know that much about Domonique because I never really wanted to press it more than what he already told me. I could tell it was still a bit of a sensitive topic for him, and I hoped he was leaning on Wren and Flora for support. And therapy, too.

"This is amazing, Correy! You should be an artist when you grow up!"

"You think I can?" he asked.

"I know you can," I replied. The smile he returned showed a few of his teeth missing, which made him even more cute.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with all the balloons he blew up, and the rest of the toys he brought out from the chest across the room. He told me all about what he liked and didn't like, and asked me at least 100 questions about myself.

After a while, Jay got a phone call and left out the room, leaving me and Correy together.

"Miss queen?"

"Yes, Correy?"

"Harley told me all queens need a king. You got a king?"

I didn't know if Jay wanted me telling him that we were... well I didn't know what we were. And honestly right now, I didn't mind that. He hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend, which I get because of the trial and everything else going on. I liked what we had, and I wasn't chasing a label... though I wouldn't be mad if he wife'd me up.

"No, I don't got one."

"Okay, good. Then Imma be your king, okay?"

"Sounds perfect. King Correy and Queen Nina"

⁑⁑

Court had us up and moving way too early in the morning. It was hard getting Correy up, since he wanted to play and talk to me until way past his bedtime. It wasn't too late, but it was late for a five year old. Hence all the drooling he was doing now.

I had a tendency to come over and then stay so late into the night that I didn't feel like driving back to my apartment. After Correy finally fell asleep, me and Jay stayed up talking about whatever. He rubbed my feet so good I fell asleep, that shit was heavenly.

Since I knew I'd be going with him to court, I made sure to bring something to wear. Since Jay was dragging his feet too, I got Correy ready and made him a little fruit bowl in case he got hungry.

"You okay?"

Jay was still sitting on the edge of the bed, even though he was dressed and ready to go. He looked so out of it, like he wasn't even gon walk out the house.

He nodded and stood up. "Yeah, I'm just tired." After wrapping his arm around me, he kissed my forehead. "Thank you."

I knew something else was up but I'd just have to wait until he wanted to talk about it. I grabbed my purse and followed him to the car, with Correy insisting on holding my hand.

The ride was silent, as usual. Jay didn't say a word from the time we left to the moment the judge started the hearing.

"Counsel, you may call your witnesses."

"Your Honor, I'd like to call Dr. Jamal Newton to the stand."

Jay's therapist strolled into court with a worried look on his face. Jay looked completely blindsided by his appearance, and so did his lawyer. She stood up, clearly ready to object. "Your Honor, we were not notified of this witness' testimony. I move that it be excluded from the case."

Sierra's lawyer also stood up, ready to bite back. "Your Honor, Dr. Newton's testimony is imperative to understanding Mr. Green's fitness as a parent. His expert opinion is absolutely crucial to this case."

"I'll allow. Dr. Newton you may take the stand."

They swore him in and he took a seat. "Dr. Newton, can you describe your relationship to the defendant?"

"Yes, um, Mr. Green is one of my patients."

"And what does he see you for?"

"We have weekly therapy sessions, and I'm also available on-call throughout the week."

"Are you currently treating Mr. Green for any mental illnesses?"

"Objection! My client's medical records are protected under the confidentiality clause--"

"Your Honor," Sierra's lawyer looked smugly at Jay's, "We subpoenaed the defendant's medical records, authorizing Dr. Newton's testimony."

"Your Honor, I'm requesting a recess because I was not informed of this testimony today. This is a dirty move being made by Ms. Howell and her attorney!"

The judge banged the gavel, noticing how the lawyers were starting to get heated with each other. "There will be order in the court. Now Counselor Newsome, I can't postpone this trial because of your neglect to be up to date on the happenings of this case. The testimony will be admitted. Please answer the question, Dr. Newton."

Sierra's lawyer grinned at the small victory and continued to question Dr. Newton. I could feel the tension radiating off of Jay. Who even gave opposing counsel the idea to dive into Jay's medical records? This was messy as hell.

"We are currently addressing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety."

"And what symptoms of each illness is Mr. Green exhibiting?"

"Hallucinations, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, anxiety, and depressive episodes."

"In your expert opinion, do people who exhibit these traits make good parents?"

Jay's lawyer objected. "Dr. Newton's area of expertise does not pertain to 'making good parents.' I move to strike his testimony from the record!"

"I agree, but his testimony will not be removed. Counselor, rephrase your question or move on."

"Yes, Your Honor. Dr. Newton, how do these symptoms affect day to day life?"

"Well, it can make it difficult to function in work or social settings. Insomnia usually causes low energy and inability to focus on tasks, as well as depression. Patients can suffer with anxiety attacks and hyperventilation when triggered by specific events. However, I have not observed any other, more extreme traits in Mr. Green throughout the duration of our sessions."

I could tell Dr. Mally was trying his best to help Jay's situation but Sierra's lawyer was painting him out to be a mentally ill person that couldn't take care of himself, let alone a child. Every time he opened his mouth to defend Jay, the lawyer cut him off and pivoted to the next question.

"Dr. Newton, you said you were available on-call. Can you describe the last phone call the defendant made to you, during an on-call session?"

"Um, sure. Jay-- Mr. Green-- called me one evening to discuss his anxious feelings about grieving a friend he had lost."

"And what were those feelings?"

"Your Honor, do we really need to dive into the intimate conversations had between my client and his therapist?" Jay's lawyer bit back.

"Your Honor, this line of questioning will make sense once I continue."

The judge allowed it and Sierra's lawyer kept going. "Answer the question."

"He believed he was receiving phone calls from this deceased friend. They called him several times, without saying a word. These events triggered panic attacks, and I instructed him to call me every time he had one."

"How many times that week had he called you?"

Dr. Newton hesitated. "Five."

My heart sank. He had five panic attacks in one week? This was really hurting him. My heart broke for him. I wished he told me, but then again, what could I really do besides be there for him?

"Your Honor, this testimony shows that the defendant clearly has mental issues he needs to address before caring for a child. How can he be a present father if he's dealing with hallucinations, depressive episodes, insomnia, and as we've heard, at least five panic attacks weekly?"

I hated Sierra with everything in me. She knew her lawyer was going to bring up all this bullshit about Jay and she let it happen anyway.

Yes, he was going through a lot right now. But it's not easy fighting for custody and dealing with past trauma. He was an amazing father despite everything that happened to him. Taking that step and going to therapy was better than letting all of that eat him alive.

As a hopeful law student myself, I always studied up on cases. If Jay's lawyer was thinking like me, she'd cross-examine Dr. Newton and ask him the right questions. There was still time to turn this story around.

"Defense, do you wish to cross examine?"

"Yes, Your Honor. Dr. Newton, has Jay ever missed a therapy session with you?"

"No, he has not."

"And as you've said, he's followed your instructions?"

"Yes, very diligently in fact. All the homework I give him in therapy, he does it. He comes back every session, ready to discuss how he's applied the techniques I've given him to his life. He's dedicated himself to getting better, and has shown immense improvement in such a short amount of time."

"When you mention improvement, what does that mean?"

"Mr. Green has reported fewer incidences of having the symptoms associated with PTSD and anxiety."

"Then how do you explain the five panic attacks during that given week?"

"With all my patients, there are good and bad days, good and bad weeks. Throughout my time as his therapist, Mr. Green has never exhibited such high levels of PTSD and anxiety symptoms. Patients have flare ups, but as long as they follow the program they can manage their stress."

"On the topic of stress, would you say that Mr. Green is under a lot of that right now?"

"Definitely."

"And how would you say he's handling it?"

"Amazingly. As best as he can. He's talked to me about relying heavily on his support system as well as our therapy sessions. Despite the chaos of his life, I've seen him face everything head-on and develop high emotional intelligence. He knows what he needs for himself, and how to achieve those goals. I'd say he's taking it the best I've seen."

Yes, Dr. Mally. Boost my baby. Help him get his son back permanently. Let this whole thing backfire on Sierra's evil ass.

"Thank you for testimony, Dr. Newton. Your Honor, this testimony