Raheem

"Asha, baby, how was school?" I asked as she sat in the backseat. I was on my Daddy duties picking her up from school. I didn't mind it though, cause this little girl made me laugh everyday and I loved surprising her by coming up here.

"Good, daddy! My teacher said I'm doing good on my addition and subtraction. She said next week she'll start giving me more advanced stuff," Asha smiled hard.

"That's good baby! You smart just like your daddy," I reached back and rubbed her cheek.

"Daddy, you sure you smart?"

I took my hand back and mean mugged her from the mirror. "Hell you mean am I sure? Whatchu tryna say, Asha?" I raised my eyebrows.

She giggled and continued looking out the window. "Nothin'. I just heard Momma talking about you."

See what I meant when I said Asha can't keep her mouth shut? Now if she was snitching on me, I'd be mad. But she can snitch on that bitch Dawn any day, and I'd never be upset.

"Oh yeah? What Momma say?"

"She was talking to Granny." We came to a red light, just in time for me to turn around and look her in her face.

"What her and Granny was sayin'?"

Asha pretended like she was zipping her lips together. "Nah girl don't do that now. You start some, you gotta finish it."

"Don't tell Momma I told you, okay?"

"Mhm."

"And Granny neither."

"Yeah, Sha. Daddy ain't no snitch. Now get to talkin'."

"Well when Momma and Granny came get me from school yesterday, Momma gave me her phone and said I could watch Bratz on YouTube. But I ain't feel like watching."

Just then, the light turned green and I stepped on the gas, tryna focus on the road and Asha's story.

"Her and Granny was talking about a place I never heard of."

"Where, baby?"

"New land."

"You mean New Orleans?"

Her eyes lit up. "Yes Daddy! So you are smart."

"Mhm. What they said about New Orleans?"

"They said something bad happening there. And then they said that you wasn't smart, so it wasn't your fault. Daddy, what did that meant?"

"Nothin', don't worry about it. You did good, ight? Next time Momma and Granny talkin' in the car, I want you to tell me just like this, okay?"

"Okay. Can we get ice cream?"

"Yeah. Just don't tell 'em that you tellin' Daddy what they sayin', ight?"

She nodded and smiled, knowing we was about to go get ice cream.

Whole time I was still tryna figure out what Dawn and my mother were talking about. My best guess is that they've noticed that the New Orleans distribution not communicating with them no more. That's because I told Joe and all the niggas down there that they report to me and only me.

See, that's how I'll fix all of this shit. No one is fucking with Jordan's mean ass anymore; he's killing motherfuckers left and right and eventually they'll turn on him. But not me. I'm making sneaky deals right up under they nose. Promising protection, wealth, stability, as long as when the time's right, they'll choose the right side.

It started with me putting New Orleans on they radar. They'll see the communication problem as their main issue, and become distracted by it. They'll think that the workers down there went off script and decided to turn on us, when in reality I'm the one pulling the strings. And while they tied up wit that, I would have already turned every other peon at the other traps to my side, not my brother's or Dawn's or Ma's.

Once I take the business on my own, I'll break it down. Let my friends in high places take it piece by piece, that way they won't turn on me once I get out the game. I got enough stashed away for Asha's kid's kid's. We'll be straight and won't nobody be looking for D no more.

Because my mother and Dawn gon die, I don't give two fucks.

If they don't think I'm smart enough to catch onto what they doing, they wrong. I figured everything out, and the time they got left on this Earth is ticking.

Domonique

"Robin, I really don't understand what got you actin' like this. You sure you okay?"

I looked at the empty shot glasses sitting at the ledge of the bar. Music blared in our ears, making me yell to get the attention of the bartender. "Another round, please," I slurred.

Sade furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. Right as we walked in the club she knew she'd be the designated driver. Cause my goal was to get all the way fucked up tonight.

I could never really explain to her why I was acting like this, or how I truly felt. Robin didn't have to look into Jaylen's eyes and see him break at the sight of her. Robin didn't have to assume a new identity and become someone else to protect herself and the people she loved. Those were Domonique's problems. And Domonique didn't exist.

I met Sade after I was able to get a job at a plastic surgery clinic close to where I live. She worked there for a lot longer than me as a nurse, so she had a little bit of sway when it came to hiring people. I didn't have a college degree to back me up but I could file and do paperwork. Luckily for me, they needed a receptionist and they payed well. Them BBLs wasn't cheap.

After watching me struggle from afar, Sade befriended me, taking my total friend count from 0 to 1.

I had absolutely no one else to lean on, so she became my person. In and out of the clinic, I knew I could count on Sade. Just like I'm counting on her to stop asking questions and let me drink in peace. The bartender brought out five more shots for us, and I immediately took two to the head.

"Girl, forreal. What's up?"

"You... w-wouldn't," I tried speaking, but the liquor was hitting me fast. Even so, it didn't change the fact that when I closed my eyes I was seeing him. In my dreams, I was seeing him. No matter what I did, Jay was on my mind and I couldn't shake him.

I thought seeing him would keep me going, let me have faith in Rah's plan to help me get my life back. But the only thing it did was make me more restless. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and squeeze as hard as I could, have him squeeze me back. I'd say I'm sorry for how we left things. I'd cry and mourn the years that we lost together, but it would all be okay because we'd have time to make up for it.

Now, it's all I can think about. And that shit drives me absolutely insane.

I took one more shot and stumbled away from Sade and onto the dancefloor. A song with heavy bass came on and I moved my hips with it. Someone grabbed my hips from behind and swayed with me. I didn't mind and continued grinding onto him.

When the song changed he flipped me around and lifted my chin.

"Domo?" I blinked twice, not believing who I was seeing.

"Jay?"

I grabbed his face, feeling his smooth skin once again.

"I... Are you real?"

Another hand tapped my shoulder, Sade. I turned to her and then back to the guy still holding my hips. Dark skin, neatly twisted locs, a nose piercing. Definitely not Jay.

His eyebrows were raised, mouth twisted into a smirk. Sade stepped between us and pulled me behind her. "My bad, she a lil... out of it tonight."

"No worries. Y'all be safe," he yelled over the music as Sade ushered me away. I drunkly waved bye, making him chuckle.

"You're done," she said once we made it back to our seats.

"You're done," I mocked her, downing another shot. One more and I'd be throwing up all over myself, I could feel it.

She left some cash next to the empty shot glasses and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Uh, ladies, where's the rest of the money? This won't cover it," the bartender called.

"Well boo-motherfucking-hoo, it's gon have to," Sade yelled back. She moved a little faster to get out so they wouldn't call us back to pay. Once the cool air hit our faces, she damn near picked my little ass up and got me in the passenger seat. The world was swimming around me as she pulled out the spot and got us on the road.

"Sade... I just want- want him bbback," I slurred.

"Baby, what are you talking about?"

"Jay."

'Who?"

"He... heeee... mhmm I loves-loved him," I could feel that tightness in my throat meaning I was about to cry.

"Robin you not making sense, love. Just relax, we finna be at your place in a second," She cooed and straightened out my hair.

Tears started falling out my eyes and I just couldn't stop. I cried silently, Sade rubbing my back with a confused look on her face.

I'd been going through life simply just trying to survive, never letting anyone get close to me, never taking time to just breathe. I was, and still am, always afraid that my mother or Dawn will find me and realize that Sydney couldn't just let me die.

Then Raheem says things are about to change, that I could possibly get my life back. And having that tiny feeling of hope is absolutely wrecking me. Turning to drinks was my last resort, and somehow it's making me feel worse.

"Come on, boo. Let's get you upstairs," Sade opened my door and carried me like she did the first time. As we walked I watched heavy tears hit the ground with every step. I held back my hiccups, fearing that I would throw up everything I drank.

Once inside my apartment, I plopped down on the couch and let it all out. Tears and snot covered my face as Sade stood back and watched me. She took her heels off, put her purse down, and yanked her wig off making me pause my tearslaugh out loud.

"Yeah yeah, it ain't easy wearing 32 inches of Brazilian. And I need to wash these 'rows soon," she scratched the middle of her cornrowed hair.

Once she came from the kitchen with a glass of water for me, Sade grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom. "Anyway, come on. You gon feel all this in the morning but let's at least get you cleaned up."

The tears running down my face wiped off damn near most of my makeup, so Sade didn't have to do much work with the wipes. I could barely keep my head up before I'd start falling asleep. But every time I closed my eyes I would start seeing him, or remembering something we used to do together.

"Ssssade, I have tttto see himmm again."

"Who? Ole dude from the club?"

I shook my head as she removed my lashes, fully awake now and a little angry. Why did I have to lie about who I was to my only friend left in this world? And even though I was completely telling the truth right now, she'd just think I was drunk talking and crying for no reason other than the fact that I was intoxicated.

"Then who?"

"Jay."

"Who is Jay? You seein' someone and I don't know?" Sade raised her eyebrows. I sighed in frustration, knowing that she wouldn't understand what I was saying.

She unzipped my dress for me and took out a big t-shirt and some shorts for me to wear. I changed into them, stumbling around the bathroom, as she sat back and chuckled a little. She helped me put my install into a bonnet and helped me into bed.

"It's cool if I spennanight?"

"Of course, I'll scoot over," I said drowsily.

"Mm m. I'on want you waking up and throwing up on me. I'll stay in the guest."

She found another one of my shirts and slipped it on, saying one last good night and closing the door behind her.

I tossed and turned, shut my eyes tight, counted sheep. Nothing was helping me sleep. This was how every night was ever since I walked into Bizzy and saw Jay. I felt like an idiot for ever showing my face there, for allowing myself to cave in and see him again.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and opened up the keypad, about to make another idiotic decision.

His number was still memorized after all these years. I typed in the ten digits and put the phone up to my ear, letting it ring. It was a long shot but maybe--

"Mm. Hello?"

My heart pounded in my ears and butterflies filled my stomach at the sound of his groggy sleepy voice. Just that groan and the word 'hello' was enough to scatter my head. I wanted to cry, to laugh, to scream, to tell him it was me. But nothing came out of my mouth.

"Man, who is this?"

More silence. If it were me I would have hung up a long time ago. Shit, I wouldn't have even answered. I don't know what was keeping him on the line, but we just sat there and listened to each other breathe. Even through the phone, I knew nothing about him had changed.

He still felt like home, even after all these years.

"Domo? Is that you?"

Hearing my name, I immediately ended the call. I tossed my phone back on the nightstand and turned my back on it, ignoring the sounds of my phone ringing again. Twice, three times, four times, a fifth time. Each time it rang, I cried harder, missing him so much but knowing that I couldn't answer.

a/n: hey loves sorry for the late update😭 happy thanksgiving though! fake ass holiday but i'm still gon eat, ikdr🤪 what y'all think about rah's endgame? y'all think it'll work? and poor d 🤧 at least she got sade. she ever gon tell her about her real life tho👀? vote + comment what y'all wanna see next !

-ColeWoorld