Xan.

I tug a pair of socks on my feet and glance over at Lennons sleeping form tucked into my covers. When I woke up her head was on my stomach and she was lying horizontally on the bed with her feet hanging off the edge. She's definitely a bed hog but I don't mind, it was nice waking up and feeling her so close.

Damn, last night was unexpected and that's an understatement. When I mentioned I'd be at the frat party because Jax wanted me to tagalong with him I didn't expect Lennon to show up. I also didn't expect the night to end with her in my bed. I was trying to hold out on sex. I wanted to actually take her on a date before things went any further but when she was standing in front of me looking vulnerable and sad and telling me she wanted me, I couldn't hold out any more.

Jax came home a lot earlier than I expected him too, then she came on my dick and I couldn't hold my orgasm back. Even if I would've stopped fucking her I'd have come no matter what, I was already there. I could tell she was a little embarrassed but Jax won't tease her about it, he probably thought it was hot. I took her to my room to take her mind off of our accidental voyeur situation and my God I thought my mind had been blown before in the living room at just the feel of her but she took it to a whole different level with her teasing. Watching her above me, taking my cock inside her, damn that image will be burned into my brain for the rest of my life.

I kissed her, wrapped her up in my arms and we fell asleep like that. I woke up randomly at four am with her elbow in my throat and her bare ass against my dick so I woke her up for more.

I shake my head as I feel a ridiculous smile tilting my lips up and grab a pen and piece of paper from my desk to write her a note.

Having lunch with my Mom and Aunt. I'll bring you some food back if you wanna stay. Text me and let me know.
                                                      -Xan

I lay the note on my pillow and press a kiss against her forehead. She sighs in her sleep and buries her face deeper into the blankets until only the top of her head shows. I exit my room, closing the door quietly and go to the kitchen. I'd already brushed my teeth and got dressed for the day so I grab a Gatorade from the fridge.

Jax walks in squinting and shielding his eyes from the rays of sun beaming through the curtains. "You gonna make breakfast?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No, gotta lunch date with—

He holds his hand up, cutting me off as he clutches his stomach and races over to the trash can. "Oh god!" He groans as he grips the trash can just before he vomits.

My face scrunches up in disgust. "Damn, how much did you drink?"

Once he's done heaving he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. "Too much. Akira broke up with me." His face is blotchy and his eyes are watering.

"That sucks, man." I say although he mentioned being tired of her months ago.

I grab another Gatorade from the fridge and hand it to him before going to the living room and slipping my shoes on.

"You good?" I ask Jax as I grab my keys.

He exits the kitchen, Gatorade in one hand and the other clutching his stomach. "Yeah, have fun on your lunch date." He waves as he disappears down the hallway.

I shake my head and exit the house, making sure to lock the door behind me and then I get in my car. I text my mom to let her know I'm on my way before easing out of my parking spot. I always have either lunch or dinner with My Mom and my aunt on my Dads birthday as a way to help keep his memory alive. Normally after they make the drive to campus and they visit the guys and I at the house for a little while, but I texted my Mom and told her I'd meet them at the restaurant today instead. Having Lennon exit my room in last nights clothes isn't the best way for her to meet my Mom and I'm not even sure she's mentally ready for that yet anyway. I'd also prefer to introduce her as my girlfriend, right now I'm not even sure what I'd call her. She's not the easiest person to read.

My Mom and Aunt are already at the restaurant when I arrive. They each greet me with a hug and a smile which I return. My Mom worked her ass off to the keep the bills paid after my Dad died. Some days we barely scrapped by but thanks to help from my Aunt Nari and Uncle Kwan we managed.

Mom brushes my hair out of my eyes and huffs. "I think it's time for a haircut, I can't even see your eyes anymore."

My Aunt Nari purses her lips. "Shouldn't hide your fathers eyes."

I run my fingers through the faded strands. "I'll get it trimmed soon."

I need to dye it too, the dark red is more of a pink now.

The server takes our order and my Mom and Aunt ask me about school. I tell them the usual things about my grades, the animals at the shelter and how my tutoring sessions have gone lately. Aunt Nari asks me why I keep randomly smiling and I shrug and tell her I'm just happy to see them but really all I can think about is Lennon.

While we eat we talk about my Dad, they mostly talk and I listen because I don't really remember him as well as they do. Of course I still miss him and I get sad when I accomplish something and know I can't share it with him. Even though they usually share the same stories every year I always leave the restaurant with a smile.

When our plates are empty I check my phone to see if I have a message from Lennon but I don't so we pay for our food and exit the restaurant.

"Do you want to go to his grave with us?" Mom asks.

I check my phone again to see no messages and give her a nod in reply. "Sure."

It takes an hour to get to the cemetery where my Dad is buried but thankfully we don't hit any traffic. Mom plucks the weeds around his headstone and replaces the faded bouquet of artificial flowers with new ones. We each talk to him separately and once we're done I give them each a hug before I get in my car and they head home.

Before I leave the cemetery I check my phone but I still haven't received a message from Lennon which is odd. Lately we've been texting all day. I type out a quick text asking if she's awake and press send before starting the car and making the drive back to campus with worry churning in my gut.

Jax is asleep on the couch when I step inside the house. I immediately notice Lennons shoes are gone but go to my room to be sure she isn't here anyway. When I open the door I can still smell her floral perfume but my bed is an empty mess and all her clothes, minus her top, are gone. I pull my phone out and type another text, telling myself it'll be the last one.

To Lennon:

You okay?

I grab a change of clothes and take a shower, zoning out so long under the spray the water runs cold before I'm done washing off. I quickly finish and dry off before getting dressed and going back to my room. When I check my phone again she still hasn't replied and I get a little annoyed, she could at least tell me she made it home okay. Maybe her phones dead... or maybe she regrets having sex with me. I grab my backpack and exit my room.

Jax is sitting up, running a hand down his face when I enter the living room. He looks more alive than when I last saw him.

"You good now?" I ask him as I make my way to the door.

He nods and gives me a smile. "Much better."

"Did you see Lennon before she left?" I slip my shoes on, my gaze staying focused on them so Jax can't see the confusion in my eyes.

"Yeah. I told her she could stay as long as she wanted but she left." He replies.

I nod, tugging on my lip ring with my teeth. "Alright. Well I'm headed to the library."

"That's probably where I'll be in a few hours, need to catch up on a few things but I don't know if it's safe to walk without vomiting yet." He chuckles.

I laugh dryly. "Good luck."

I throw my back pack over my shoulder and exit the house, walking toward the library. I have a tutoring session in an hour so I'll work on my own stuff while I wait. Maybe Lennon will text me back soon or maybe she won't. What the hell have I let myself get into?

•     •     •

It's been four day since I woke up with Lennon in my bed and I still haven't heard from or even seen her around campus at all. One point I couldn't go a day without bumping into her now it's like she's gone. She didn't even bother replying to the two texts I sent her and I wasn't going to blow up her phone for answers. Even though I have feelings for her they obviously aren't reciprocated emotionally, only sexually which hurts. I don't normally have sex unless I'm in a relationship but with her I couldn't resists, something about her just messes with my head and God has it really screwed with me. My focus hasn't been the best, I zone out during class more than I ever have and all it does is annoy me further.

I place my freshly washed and rinsed bowl on the drying rack and wipe my hands off on a towel, pushing thoughts of Lennon out of my head. When I enter the living room Jax is walking down the hall dressed in a pair of gray chinos and a white button up shirt, his classic date outfit.

"You got a date?" I ask him, already knowing the answer.

I'm surprised it's taken him four days honestly.

He secures his watch on his wrist and smiles. "Yeah, I have a date with Lennon. You don't mind right? I know you two had a fuck buddy situation going on and Lennon says it's over now, but I don't want to step on your toes or anything."

I freeze, nausea churning in my gut. A date with Lennon. He's going on a date with Lennon, the girl who he couldn't remember her name until he watched her come on my dick. My Lennon! What the fuck? I clench my jaw and take a couple breaths in and out. No, she's not my Lennon. Clearly. She said we were fuck buddies and it's over now, obviously I was just a good time for her and she's moved on. With my best friend of all fucking people.

"Did she ask you out?" The question comes out slightly sharper than I mean it to.

I knew she liked him, I saw the way she stared at him but things had changed or at least I thought they had. She stopped staring at him and stared at me instead.

He shakes his head. "No, I asked her." His brow dips in concern. "Did I overstep?"

I ignore his question. "And she agreed?"

Obviously she did but I just need to hear it. I need to hear that four damn days after I fucked her she agreed to go on a date with Jax.

He nods. "Yeah."

I'm sure she jumped at the chance to date Jax when he asked her out, probably squealed she was so excited. Fuck. I should've manned up, I should've asked her out, been vocal about my feelings but instead I let things be as they were and this is where it got me. I could tell Jax he overstepped, tell him I like her and I don't want them going on a date but obviously she doesn't want the same things I do or she wouldn't have agreed to it. So screw it.

I let out a dry laugh. "Nah, it's all good. Have fun." I flash him a grin and grab my keys before quickly exiting the house.

I don't think I've ever actually been used by a girl before. I don't date a lot because I'm busy but I made time for her. I cooked for her, I allowed myself to give in to her allure and she fucked me and then ghosted me.

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Hey babe's, I'm sorry this took so long to write! My brain has been in a fog lately, writing has never felt so hard. The only time I've ever dealt with this kind of writing block is while pregnant which freaks me out. I have an IUD but ya know it could definitely fail lol I don't think Im pregnant but maybe my hormones are out of whack. This shit ain't it. I absolutely hate being late on uploads. This chapter wasn't part of my outline so I had to write the entire thing during this brain fog but I felt seeings Xan's POV was necessary because now you know why Jax told Lennon he was on a lunch date

Don't worry I won't make you wait. I will upload ch 12 tomorrow as soon as I finish adding descriptions/ dialogue tags (it's already outlined).

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Love youu🖤🖤

— Katy