Chapter Five

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Skye

We've finally opened the last box this weekend. Yippee! Now we were officially moved in. And as a celebration we went out for a family movie night. Matt had this new Transformers movie that he was obsessing about, so Aunt Sophie and I wanted to make him a mini-surprise and took the little guy. He wouldn't stop skipping around us saying "thank you" and "I love you" and "you are the best"

God, he was so easy to please.

I gave back Timothy the rest of his notes. He has been a great friend and tutor, helping me catch up on my studies, fixing my notes, highlighting the important parts to memorize. Lots of hard work and time was spent in the library and it was paying off.

I think things were looking up with him and Abby. The sweetest thing was that Timothy had a change of attitude. He started to speak confidently and commented in all the right bases. Even cracked a normal joke that everyone understood instead of those nerdy, brainy ones that took a chart, a board and probably a calculator to be explained.

I was wondering about that change until I saw him talking to Ethan one day. I couldn't hear what they were saying, neither did I interrupt, but the way Ethan was talking and Timothy's intensive listening and constant nodding told me a lot. Aww, so sweet!

I was waiting for Monday to see Ethan. The mere thought of him gave me butterflies, but then the picture of his perfect ex-girlfriend came to mind, it was as if somebody just grabbed a can of Raid and sprayed the life out of those butterflies. Anyway, I miss bickering with the guy, I guess.

To my disappointment Ethan was absent for Monday and Tuesday. Frankly, that got me worried. When I asked Timothy if he knew anything he shrugged and said, "As I told you, with Ethan that is normal. He would disappear for some time and then pop up."

That didn't ease my worries, "Do you have his phone number? Or do you know if I could I get it from the main office?"

Timothy shook his head, "No, sorry I don't. And I doubt you'll get it from the office. You know, personal info and stuff."

I blew out an annoyed breath. I didn't like this. No one goes AWOL for no reason. I raked and twisted my brain for ideas until one popped and I rushed to the football field where the schools' team practiced.

The guys were scattered all over the field doing push-ups, sit ups, tossing the ball, jogging, jumping jacks, dumbbells, ropes, just about every exercise possible. Pinning the person I was looking for was a challenge, especially with all the gears and helmets on and no faces showing. What was the number on his jersey? I sought through the memory lane until I found it. Twenty-one. Yes! That's it! Scanning the outdoors gym members in front of me searching for the Twenty-one- jersey. If only everyone would stop moving!

When I spotted him I tried to flag him down while he was tossing the ball. He didn't see me, but number Sixteen did and as he followed my signals he flagged Kyle for me. Kyle turned around said something to the other guy and then jogged towards me. I signaled a thank you to Sixteen.

"Hey! What's up?" Kyle said smiling widely. He was in the same total mess as the first time I saw him. Mud, grass and dirt stains all over.

"Hey, I'm sorry for calling you out like this," I said quickly then went right to the point, "Do you by any chance have Ethan's phone number?"

He blinked a few times like he was deciphering the question, "Um... No, sorry. He changed his number after we fought... I'm sorry. Is something wrong?"

"Probably nothing... he didn't come to school for the past two days and I was wondering."

"He does that sometimes. Ever since the accident he would vanish for a few days and then be back," Kyle said

Timothy told me the same thing. Maybe this was normal.

I nodded and smiled, "I see." I didn't want to fuss about it more than I should in front of Kyle, "Well, I'm sorry for interrupting your practice."

Kyle shook his head, "Not at all. Actually I'm glad you did. You worrying about Ethan shows that you're a good friend."

I shrugged and kept my worries to myself.

The coach yelled Kyle's name.

Kyle looked behind him then back at me, "Duty calls. Don't worry. He will show up soon." Hearing his name being yelled again he started to retreat, "Gotta go."

There was nothing left for me to do but wait. Worry and wait. Sigh!

Wednesday. Still no sign of Ethan. I gathered my stuff for my next class and started to make my way out. As I stepped into history class Ethan was there and all my neglected butterflies came back.

"Hey, where have you been?" I nearly fell over from rushing to take my seat, "What happened? Are you okay?"

He didn't answer me and I stopped asking for a minute studying him. He looked different. Held himself up in different way. His jaw was strained and tight. Slight purplish color showed on his skin from underneath his dark glasses. His lips pressed in a thin line. Expressionless as ever.

I placed my hand on his arm and his whole body went stiff to the point that made me pull back, "Ethan, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer me.

The teacher walked in and started the lesson right away. I didn't hear anything related to what class was about as my mind was wondering wildly about the guy next to me. Why was he acting strange? I took a side way glance at him and my stomach tightened. By the time the class was over my brain was running around in circles.

I waited for others to leave. I could see that Ethan had the same idea. Everyone left but for two girls who talked and giggled loudly with no apparent intentions to walk out anytime soon.

"LEAVE!" Ethan's voice boomed startling all three of us.

The girls were cut mid giggles and stared at him with eyes wide open.

"NOW! AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU!" Ethan's words broke the silence and made the girls scurry off their seats and out the door closing it with a quick slam.

I thought now that we were alone he would talk, but nothing. When his silence stretched I asked, "Where have you been for the past two days?" If he wasn't going to talk, I might as well start.

"None of your business!" He cut me off. Not in the usual -Nah! He didn't mean it- kind, but in a real -None of your god damn business- way.

"Why are you angry at me?" I asked.

Ethan ignored my question. His lips moved like he about to say something but then he shook his head changing his mind and stood to leave.

I stood up too, right in front of him, "Hey! Talk to me!"

"Get out of my way Skye!" The warning was unmistakable in his voice.

Despite my shaking knees and trembling hands my voice stayed strong, "Not moving, start talking. First, why did you go AWOL all of a sudden?"

"I told you, none of your busi...".

I interrupted, "Stop being a jackass and tell me already!"

He was silent for a minute, but then he bellowed, "I had eye surgery and it failed as usual, satisfied now?"

I stared at him with widened eyes. My heart leaped and my lungs froze, "I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

My heart broke as the comprehension that followed his words settled in. This wasn't the first, Ethan had more than one surgery.

He scoffed sarcastically, "So you would do what?"

"I could have at least been there for you. Wished you good luck. I don't know," I argued.

"Why... huh... why? Why would you go through the trouble while you've been sneaking around talking to Kyle?"

It was like a strike to the stomach. A slap to the face. A cruel ice cold hand squeezed my heart. I gawped at him unable to find any words.


Ethan

A fresh wave of anger rushed through my veins when she didn't deny it. The words that Carmen planted in my mind played me very well. I knew I shouldn't trust a word that came out of Carmen's mouth, but the possibility of truth was there too. When the silence stretched, I scoffed with disgust and started to leave.

"Wait..." Skye's voice went sharp as she pulled my arm to stop me.

I turned around with the least will to hear out what she was about to say, "Why don't you talk to Kyle about whatever you want to say? I bet you two will have a lot to discuss."

"What Kyle and I talked about was that he asked me to talk to you on his behalf," her voice high pitched a little with the anger and disappointment coating her words, "He wanted me to ask you to forgive him for betraying your trust and..."

It was I who interrupted her this time, "Out of the question!" I yelled sharply.

The thought that invaded my brain for the past days blurted out, "Did you enjoy knowing the inside story from him? Would you like to hear more details or did he tell you everything?" My own frustration flared.

"No, actually I don't know a thing because I didn't ask him. I thought if I should ever know what happened between you two, it should come from you, because stupid as I am I thought we were friends."

I've never heard 'hurt' in someone's voice like I did now. What ripped me to pieces was that it was her voice.

"The second time I talked to Kyle was because I was worried about your stupid ass when you didn't show up for school for two days and was looking for your phone number to check on you."

I felt a smack that burned my shoulder where she punched me, but it didn't burn as deep as her words did, "And that, because you didn't tell about your surgery, because again, that what friends would do."

Did I feel small, stupid, ashamed, and antagonistic? Yes, yes, yes and yes. A horrible mix of all of those emotions and more pressed heavily on my chest to the point of making it hard to breathe. I opened my mouth to say something, but by the time I was aware of my surrounding the door has been slammed shut and her steps echoed as she walked away.

Skye avoided me for the rest of the day. I couldn't blame her. When I tried to talk to her after class, she snapped at me, "I'm still mad at you."

So I stopped. By the last bell I was hoping that her anger would have lightened up a little, but she left without saying goodbye. Strangely, not hearing her 'goodbye' messed up my mood and the rest of my day.

I laid awake on my bed that night, tossing and turning unable to sleep. I finally did it. I finally pushed her away. That was what I've wanted from the beginning, right?

That was what I craved, wasn't it? To be left alone.

Then why it didn't feel like a win? Why do I feel like I've lost big time.

Her words were still ringing in my head. The anger and disappointment were unmistakable in her voice and I could still hear them playing in my mind.

*********

"Good morning," Skye chirped her everyday greeting as she took her seat next to me.

Did that mean that she wasn't angry at me anymore?

"Good morning."

Mentally, I prepare an apology, it was ready to pour out of me. I replayed the words in my head over and over. I even arranged the words in a way that I won't sound as self-conscious as I was.

I hid my doubts about trusting others. Doubts that I might be a choice instead of a pity selection. A friend, as she said. I opened my mouth to spill my well-rehearsed apology but no words came out. I'm not used to apologizing. Not this sort of apology when it was all on me. I never put myself in a situation that had guilt eating me up. Where it was entirely my fault like this moment. By the time I had the audacity to talk, class has already started and the low scratches coming from my right side indicated that Skye was busy taking notes. I kept my mouth shut, losing my chances by the minute.

"Hey... Ethan..." Hearing my name been carried by her voice snapped my attention back in place and my head moved in her direction. The usual smile filled her words, "Aren't you coming to lunch?" She asked.

I was completely drowned in my thoughts that I didn't hear the bell ring. Pushing off my chair standing up, I wasn't sure if she hated me to the point she wouldn't want to walk with me or not. So, I waited for her move with a rapid beating in my chest. Soft fingers touched my arm and the madness inside me hushed as we made our way through the half-crowded halls.

"I'm sorry that your surgery didn't work out," she said after a while in a low voice that only I could hear, getting me off guard as she always did. Her words held a genuine heartfelt compassion.

How does she do that? I was the one who started the fight. I was the one who had Carmen venomous words messing up with my brain. I was the one who accused her of being all friendly with Kyle and hinted they were laughing behind my back. She looked over all that to the part that mattered. How could someone be this vivid?

I shrugged, "I guess once a blind will always stay a blind. In my case at least." Not wanting to dwell more on my failed operation I said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I just..."

"There you two are, we've been waiting for you," Abby cheerful interruption stopped my words.

As I estimated by Abby and Timothy's voices, they were getting closer to us. "We'll talk later", I leaned in saying. Skye squeezed my arm lightly.

"Hey, did you start studying for that biology test next week?" Abby asked simply and the conversation ran in different directions from then on.

I never got the chance to finish what I was trying to say to Skye. There was never the good time to do it. Either talking to others, classes starting, or she was taking notes.

"Please pass those paper slips before you leave." I heard Mrs. Morgan voice close to us, "Everyone make sure you have one." There was a rattle around me as papers being passed around.

"Now, as you can see it in those slips in front of you..." she described.

I touched the table in front of me. Skye set one next to my hand.

"When you go home ask your parents to sign this."

"Oh shit!" I heard Skye curse next to me.

"It's the seasonal flu vaccination, just like we do every year." Mrs. Morgan explained, "Don't forget. This will only be available until coming Thursday. When you go home today sign this paper and bring it back to get your vaccination."

"Double shit!" Skye said again under her breath.

"What's wrong?" I asked. After the final bell stopped ringing and the noises around us started to grow quieter and more distant.

Skye laughed nervously, "Nothing, who said something was wrong?"

I could hear the whoosh - whoosh sound of her bag as she collected her stuff sliding them in.

"Got to go, catch you tomorrow."

I stopped a concerned frown from appearing on my face and just nodded a goodbye at her. I wasn't even sure if she was looking my way or not.

"Bye," she said back.

She was looking at me.

Something was up with this girl and the following few days were a proof. I thought after the weekend things would be back to normal, but things seemed to get weirder and that drove me crazy. And when I asked her what was wrong, she would say nothing and change the subject.

"Skye dear, did you sign the vaccination slip I gave you?" Mrs. Morgan asked.

She shifted beside me, "No, not yet." she replied. The same answer she gave yesterday.

Mrs. Morgan said patiently, "Tomorrow is the last day, dear. If you didn't get your vaccination by tomorrow you will have to get it at the hospital."

Now that was strange. This girl was smart. A straight A's kind of smart and for her to forget to sign a stupid piece of paper seemed off to me. For the past days I was wondering, if it was something that I've said or done. Or was it because of that fight I never got to finish my apology for. I thought things were good between us.

I was getting worked up with every thought. Horridly infuriated by the second and just as soon as everything blew out of proportion, it downed on me in one massive, impossible to ignore fact that I tried to bury over and over, I cared. I cared about her.

For the past few days I kept up with her being errant all the time. The less than usual short talks. The nervous movements that were traveling through our joined desks as if she was shaking foot side to side or rapidly shaking her pen left turn right.

Today I had enough!

We waited until everyone left for their lunch break and then she asked me, "Ready to go?" her voice grew a little distant as she stood up.

"No!" I announced, "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

She sounded closer like she sat back down, "What's wrong?"

I was trying my best to keep a tight grip on my frustration, "What's wrong with you?" my voice was louder than I intended to, "You're constantly absent minded. You're always quiet and you speak only when asked -sometimes even asked twice-, cause you're in your own zone. You always say you're not hungry at lunch and for the past few days you're been acting weird and I want to know what's going on," my breathing was heavy and I didn't care about hiding any facial expressions at that point.

And then I asked question that was worrying me and eating me up, "Did I say or do anything to hurt you or offend you?"

Her hands gripped mine tightly, "Oh my God, Ethan. Of course not!" There wasn't a hint of uncertainty in her voice but I still doubted.

"Then tell me, what's going on?" I insisted. Random ideas coming up to my mind.


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