(32) Goodbye From Many

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"Lex!" My mom shouts from the kitchen, "Why didn't you tell me about this?" She holds up an envelope. 

Curious, I pad over to the kitchen island and look at it, "What is it?"

"Open it." She nods. 

I raise an eyebrow, and carefully peel open the top of the envelope and pull out a letter. 

"What? Mom, I didn't apply for this!" 

She grins at me, "It was Louise that did. She knew you'd get in."

I smile, the huge grin taking over my face, "Five months? I don't know if I could be gone for that long."

"Look, I already booked a flight for my work and I'll just do some extra jobs while you're gone. And honey, you get to stay with a host family and everything. It'll be like you never left. Except for the fact that I'll have to mail you your Christmas presents. Look, I just think that despite how you feel about it, getting into an honors program like this is a once in a lifetime shot and you should definitely consider that."

"I don't know. London is pretty far away.."

She wakes the envelope against my head and I chuckle, "I'll think about it. It would be really nice, especially since I get college credit if I do it." 

She grins, "That's my girl. Now, run along and go tell your friends. I'm going out with an old friend tonight, I won't be back until late." 

-

"E!" I open Elle's door, grinning excitedly. 

Instead of seeing Elle's perky blondness, Parker answers. 

"Hey." I smile. 

"What were you excited about?" He opens the door and lets me in. 

"Nothing, it's not a big deal."

"Tell me. Obviously it is, and you're a shitty liar." 

"Okay. Well, a while back Louise sent in an application for a five month abroad study in London for me. I had no clue she was doing it, but she did. And I got accepted."

"Oh my god Lexa!" He throws his arms around me and I chuckle. 

"I don't know if I'm going. I'm not sure if I'd want to spend five months away from everyone. Especially Mason. He'll be with Elodie all on his own and it hasn't been that long since..Anyways, I was excited, but I probably won't go."

"You better go, deciding not to because of Mason is ridiculous. He's an adult, he can make his choices on his own, like you should make yours."

"And I'm making my choice. I'm not going. I don't want to leave everyone like that."

He glares at me, "Go talk to Mason about it first. Don't decide before you talk to him. But I'm telling you, if he's not a complete dick he'll tell you the same thing I did."

I nod, "Goodbye Parker."

-

Lexa: can we please talk

Mason: im at home rn w jared. come over

Lexa: be there in 20.

Mason: better be there in 15, you just made me lose my game for this

Lexa: you deserve it lmao

I close my phone and stuff it in my bag and begin the familiar drive to Mason's. 

"Hello?" I call out, into the strangely empty house. 

It's weird. All over are memories, good ones, and bad. 

The kitchen, where I made out with Mason for the first time, is also the kitchen where Louise taught me how to bake. 

The hallway, where Mason and I have crossed a thousand times to get to his room, is the same hallway Louise kissed Elodie on the head before telling her to be a good girl, and exiting into the night. 

And the living room. Keeper of bad and good memories for both. It's where Mason and I had our first fight, and where Louise came home pissed because we made a mess of the place. It's also the place where Mason and I came close to going all the way, and it was the last place I saw her alive. 

"Lex, what are you doing?" I turn and there stands Jared. 

"Hey J. I don't know. Just thinking I guess. This house has way too many memories."

He nods, "Come downstairs, Mason's waiting for you."

I follow him down, "Hey Mase." I sit on his knee awkwardly and smile as he loops his arms around my wasit and kisses my cheek.

"Hey Lex."

"What are you guys up to?"

"Elodie's down for a nap and I hate sitting here alone. It just makes me remember everything."

"There's good things to remember too, you know. You need to erase the bad memories and replace it with good ones." 

"That's not easy." He bites his lip. I nod, "I understand that. I know it'll take time, but I know for certain that you'll be okay." 

"Are you? Okay I mean?" He asks. 

I shake my head, "You're the one that has all rights to be upset and you're asking me if I'm okay."

"Well, what did you want to talk about then?"

"Louise, she and I were close, you know that. She filled out an application for me, and I didn't know about it until today..when I got the acceptance letter. It's for a five month abroad study. In London. But I'm not going to go, I can't just-"

He cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine, and his hands to my cheeks, "Are you done now?" He backs away, smiling.

A rose coloured blush arises in my cheeks, "I want to go, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"Mason, after everything that's been going on, with Louise, and you getting custody of Elodie, and everything else, now is not the time to just up and fracking leave. I can't just do that." 

"You're going." 

"I am? Because last time I checked, that was my decision to make. And I'm saying no."

"That's the most selfish thing you could do. I know you have respect for me and Elodie and Elle and Parker and Jared and that's why you don't want to go, but if you had any respect for Louise, you'd go. She's the one that got you in, after all. Not to mention the fact that you're definitely smart enough for it, but she thought of you. She knew you could do it, and you can, so why are you saying no? I'll be fine. And you trust me to take care of Elodie, right? I'm not stupid enough to let her be consumed by the demons that consume me. Lexa, this trip, this opportunity doesn't change anything between us. I still love you now, and I'll still love you in five months from now. When you get back. From London."

I lean forward silently, and kiss him. "Thank you." I mumble against his lips. 

AUTHORS NOTE
sorry its been so long, extreme writers block is the worst! But i am double updating today, IF AND ONLY IF this gets a lot of votes and comments, so make sure you do that. 

QUESTION
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