Chapter dedicated to American_phsyco_girl. Thanks for reading my stories and plucking the little Vote button!

Music: Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers. Fantastic for this chapter. Check it out.

Chapter 47 – What Happened? – Raine's POV

The warmth of the sun enveloped me as I made my way toward Loki's enclosure. Every step closer helped calm my fragile nerves. I entered a large enclosed paddock area with a poured concrete floor, wood walls and brick structural accents. Lining the walls were several occupied animal stalls with steel gates.

There were a few vampires milling around and working. A short, stocky man approached and extended his hand toward me.

"Princess Raine, welcome, my name is Gregory. His Highness Alaric mentioned you would be stopping by and gave instructions to assist you with whatever you needed. He said you would be taking Loki out today?" he murmured the last part more as a question then a statement. His eyebrows knitted together. The uncertainty on his face was transparent.

"I appreciate your helpfulness, thank you," I responded.

He said anxiously, "Certainly, I will just get his gear and we will have a handler coax him into the paddock with some fresh meat."

"Oh, I do not need his collar or leash," I assured him. Both were unnecessary. It seemed as if Loki and I understood each other perfectly. I had no explanation for the connection I felt to him and the rest of the big cats as well. It just felt natural, instinctual.

Gregory glanced up and down my small frame. The worry in his expression was unmistakable. He asked apprehensively, "Are you quite certain you do not want his collar or leash?"

I smiled at him and answered wryly, "If he were going to attack, would having the collar and leash help me?"

He shook his head pensively. "I see your point. Okay, just give us a moment to lure him in with some food."

I walked past him, toward the large opening that led to the enclosure and said, "That is unnecessary. He will come to me when I call him."

The vampires stopped their work and looked at me in surprise, and then quickly resumed their tasks when they realized they were gawking. Their attention didn't bother me. I had been equally shocked when I realized my unusual talent for the first time as well.

I released a deep call from the back of my throat. Almost immediately, I heard Loki reply with a soft roar. I waited as the large animal came into sight and walked over to me eagerly. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in the soft fur of his neck. He purred loudly.

I lifted my head and whispered, "Are you ready to go?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Gregory staring at me with his mouth open and then snap his teeth shut, murmuring quietly to himself, "Never seen anything like it..."

..........

Loki and I made our way uninterrupted to the gardens. We walked through the tall hedges along several paths, until we came to a wooden bench in the rose section. I inhaled sharply. I had thought it was pretty at night, but the sunlight revealed every shockingly beautiful facet of the large trellises covered with climbing full-bodied blooms, in just about every color.

I sank down onto the beautifully aged hardwood bench. It was more comfortable than I had expected. Loki sat at my feet, and placed his large furry paws on the bench next to me.

The instant we stopped moving, the reason I was here and the reality of my situation came crashing back to the forefront of my mind. A deep sob ripped from my throat. Loki pushed his head in my lap anxiously. I wearily dropped my head on top of his and held him tightly as my tears flowed unchecked, soaking his fur.

My brain seemed to rewind and playback all of the events that had led me here. And every moment was colored with Cage's presence. It didn't matter that he had been physically torn from my life, because I could still hear his deep baritone voice whispering in my ear, promising to love me forever. I could still smell the scent of his cologne and see the mischievous crinkle in his silver eyes when he would tease me.

Those bittersweet memories were followed by the harsh reality of my current circumstances. I was soon to be mated with a man I did not love, and who did not love me. A man who clearly held affection for one of Cage's closest friends, Talia. And that was the best case scenario. The worst-case scenario would be finding out he flirted with, and had relationships with many women.

A deep exhaustion consumed me, causing every muscle in my body to ache painfully. The pain was more than just physical, it was emotional. I had been fighting it for the past few days, just so I could stay alive and not lose myself in my torment. But I was lost to it now, broken and laid bare, bleeding and raw. Despair clawed at my skin.

I wanted to run away. But I knew it was impossible.

I forced myself to stop thinking. Loki never moved his head away from me, even though I was getting his fur more and more wet, unable to stop the tears rolling down my cheeks.

..........

I came to awareness slowly. Darkness had filled the sky, littered by the brilliance of the thousand stars. I had no idea what time it was, or even where I was. As I stretched, I realized I had fallen asleep and was lying down on the wooden bench in the gardens. I pushed myself into a sitting position groggily, and found Loki lying next to the bench.

And then I realized I wasn't alone.

My heart beat faster.

There was an outline of a man seated on the ground. He was reclined against Loki, and rubbed the big cat's head absentmindedly – Alaric.

Shit. I couldn't believe I had been gone all day. I was surprised Gen. Raed had not sent out a search party for me. I mumbled, "Sorry, I must have fallen asleep." 

"Yes," Alaric replied.

I didn't know him well enough to gauge his response, but his short, one word reply was an obvious indicator that he was deep in thought. Crap.

"When did you get here?" I asked tentatively, still trying to feel him out.

He met my eyes and replied, "As soon as the sun went down."

There was still no indication as to his thoughts behind his words. I was worried that he would not want me to come back to the gardens, since he had trusted me and I had failed to return on my own.

"How long ago was that?" I questioned, anxiety lacing my tone.

"A few hours," he gave another short answer.

I looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Why didn't you wake me?"

He ignored my question. Instead he stared at me intently and contemplated out loud, "Yesterday you were in good spirits, but today... Today, you refused to eat and spent the day in tears. What happened?"

Horror washed over me to think that he had witnessed my struggle. I gasped, "Are there cameras here?!"

He shook his head, "No."

"But, how did you...?" my voice trailed off in confusion.

"His fur was saturated with your tears," he explained.

"Oh..." I whispered and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them tightly. I remained quiet and rocked slightly. I didn't want to have this conversation.

After a long moment of my continued silence, he repeated, "What happened?"

Resentment ran through me. I stood to my feet, ready to leave, and snapped, "Does it really matter?! I am sorry for not returning earlier. It won't happen again."

His eyes flashed. His voice was hard as he commanded, "Sit down."

My hands balled into fists. He was unaffected by my glare, returning it with his own. Our standoff lasted another moment, before I gave in and sank down to the bench. But only because I was fairly certain from his expression, he would have forced me to do so, had I not cooperated willingly.

He was silent and then said firmly, "When something occurs to radically change your mood from one day to the next, I need to know what happened."

I spat, "Why do you care?! I get that you're angry that I didn't come back. I've already apologized for it and it will not happen again. As we discussed yesterday, I have every intention of taking my responsibility seriously. However, my pain is private, and not open for discussion!"

My heart beat faster when he slowly stood to his feet, and sat, facing me on the bench. He rested his arm over the back of the bench, his fingertips barely grazing the skin on my arm. He leaned forward, his intensity increasing as he replied softly, "You are wrong on more than one account. First, I am not angry that you didn't return earlier.  My actions are proof. I would not have sat by your side for hours, waiting for you to wake up, if my sole concern was having you home sooner."

I stared at him with wide eyes. I couldn't deny the validity of his argument. His actions didn't make sense. I was certain he didn't have the luxury of spare hours in his day to babysit me while I slept. I whispered, "Why did you?"

"Because it was obvious you needed the rest," he answered simply.

I didn't know how to take that, so just remained silent.

He continued, "Second, I can respect that your pain is private. Most pain is intimate and never easy to share. But your welfare, your well-being is very much my concern. You are very much my concern."

His words and actions seemed to indicate he did care about me on some level. But he had also indicated he took his responsibilities seriously, and it was likely that I would never be anything more than another one of his obligations. A tear rolled down my cheek.

He gathered my much smaller hands into his larger ones and murmured, "I'm sorry; I can only imagine how difficult this is for you."

I knew he assumed my tears had to do with my unwillingness to be here, and in truth, they were. But my pain ran much deeper than that. I had lost so much more. 

I had finally found happiness with Cage after so many weeks of worrying that I was only an obligation to him, nothing more. And here I was, back in the very same position. I mumbled, "I am so sick of being on the receiving end of someone who feels I am their responsibility, their duty." I said the last word derisively, not liking how it tasted on my tongue.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, and he replied, "You mean much more to me than just my responsibility."

How could he possibly say that? He didn't even know me. I muttered, "I do not want or need false flattery."

His eyes were tight as he replied, "That is good because I do not find it necessary to degrade my integrity with misrepresenting myself or my intentions."

I stared at him intently. If that were true, then maybe he would give me an honest answer. However, a very large part of me wanted to remain in denial. If I remained uncertain of the truth, than I still had a fifty percent chance of hearing the response I wanted.  However, if I asked the question, there was the distinct possibility that he could confirm my worst fears, leaving me with no hope whatsoever.

Finally, I just blurted it out, "How many women do you plan on having relationships with?"

Understanding lit his expression.

I hated that look with a passion.

It made me feel exposed, needy and weak.

His answer was unexpected and shocked me when he replied pointedly, "How many men do you plan on having relationships with?"

I blinked. And then I argued, "You know it doesn't work that way. Once we are joined, no man will touch me for fear of you. I, on the other hand, will not be feared. And women will continue to offer themselves to your every whim. I am perfectly okay that you do not love me; however I prefer not to be the laughing stock of a nation, so I ask you again. How many women?"

He contemplated my words for a few moments. The longer it took him to reply, the more my anxiety level rose. WTF? Was he adding them up in his head?!  What the hell was taking so long?!

Finally, he answered carefully, "I am not naive, and will not make you promises I cannot keep."

"Fuck," I exhaled as dread wound through me and then demanded angrily, "What the fuck does that mean?!  I'm going to need you to break it down for me in a number. What are we talking here? 20? 50? 100? More?!"

"Of course not!" he hissed. "If you would just let me finish. It is not my current intention, however if I found myself in that position in the future, would it be agreeable that we could discuss the matter openly and honestly with each other? And try to come up with a solution that would accommodate both my desires and your need for my discretion?"

My stomach felt sick at the thought of my husband coming to me in the future and trying to work out an agreeable way for both of us, for him to have an affair. However, in light of the alternative option where he didn't give a shit, I could only resign myself to his suggestion.

I replied more honestly than I intended, "I'm not going to lie. The thought of that future conversation, as well-meaning as it is, still hurts me. However, I believe it could be our best solution – on one condition."

He watched me intently. When I remained quiet, he prodded gently, "Which is?"

I studied his expression, knowing he wasn't going to like my response and demanded, "Will you grant me the same privilege?"

Surprise painted his features, and then, as expected, his eyes darkened as he contemplated my words.

I whispered, "It's not so easy being on the other side of that conversation, is it?"

"No, it is not," he answered through his teeth. He then asked, "Why are you so certain that we will never grow affection for each other? These scenarios all include the presumption that we will never fall in love or want exclusivity with each other."

His question caught me completely off guard. I didn't realize he even entertained the possibility. Maybe that was because I knew my heart would always belong to another man. Regardless of my captive heart, the question remained – would it even be possible for him to be exclusive with anyone? I replied, "How old are you?"

His eyebrows rose, obviously not expecting my response, but he answered, "487 years old."

"487 years old..." I breathed, distracted for a moment by the shocking number. And then I continued, "In all of that time, how many women have you been with and were you exclusive with any of them?" Truthfully, I didn't really want to know how many women he had been with, but it was necessary to prove my point.

His eyebrows furrowed together. And I knew his answer. Deciding his spoken response was unnecessary, I concluded without it, "So it is highly unlikely, you will suddenly want to be exclusive with me."

He didn't disagree with me.

I was thankful in one way. He had proven his honesty, and I believed his words. But I was overwhelmingly sad. I had only requested the same privilege, just to illustrate to him what I would have to go through at some point. But I had no intention or desire for any other man. Another tear broke the barrier of my crescent lashes, and rolled down my cheek.

He wiped the tear from my cheek with his thumb and spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I wish I could give you the answer you wanted. Why don't we focus on establishing a solid friendship between us? If we build an alliance, grounded in mutual respect and trust, I think we will both be able to handle the future much better."

I shouldn't have been surprised at the intelligence of his suggestion, and I really wasn't. I was just shocked at his willingness. The idea of building a friendship with him did comfort me. In the short time we had been together, he had already taken my side when Gen. Raed had been an ass. I didn't love him, but after our conversation tonight, I thought I might be able to grow to trust him. He would be a strong ally.

I whispered my agreement, "Yes."

.

Okay Peaches, I am literally jumping up and down with excitement for the future chapters of this book. I wish there was some way for me to write faster, because I sooo want to share the details with you, but alas...just know, there are a lot of twists, turns and love coming.