"we fall, we break, we fail. but then, we rise, we heal, we overcome."
---

Kayden and I walk inside the house, and I didn't think Kayden would come in, but I couldn't care less.

"Yea but I don't want to be alone," I said before getting out of his car.

I go to the kitchen and pour two glasses of water. I also take a pain reliever pill so that my stomach could calm down.

"How are you feeling?" Kayden asked.

I turned around and bring Kayden, who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his water.

"A little better. But I am just tired." I said before taking a sip of water. "Want to watch a movie?" I asked and Kayden shrugged his shoulders. It didn't seem like he was staying anything soon. I passed him and made my way upstairs. Once I get inside my room, I go towards my bed that had my laptop on it. "Have you ever watch Boyhood?" I asked Kayden who walked inside the room.

"What's Boyhood?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

I scoot over so that he could come and sit next to me. "You are going to like it. Everyone likes this movie."

Kayden sighs and takes off his shoes before scooting next to me. I get comfortable in my corner of the bed and then start the movie.

Hopefully, I don't fall asleep because I like this movie a lot.

I remember my mom, dad, and I would always watch it in the living room.

It was my mom and I's favorite movie. We both obsess over the boy in the movie while my father would say that he was way hotter, and my mom would pretend to agree with him.

I smile while remembering that memory.

Sadly, I can't do that anymore with them because they are gone.

"You guys have your seatbelts on, right?" My father asked as he pulled out of Aunt Isabelle's house.

Jack and I both nodded our heads, and my dad took that as the sign to start driving. The music playing on the Bluetooth was soft and calm. It made me feel safe.

Tonight, dad and mom are going to take Jack and me to see the Hollywood sign. We have never seen it before, so I was super excited to go and see it.

I was about to not go through because my mom and I got into an argument about my choice of clothing because she said it was going to be cold out since winter is here. I rolled my eyes at her, and I didn't think that she saw but she did, and I got lectured.

But then Jack forced me to come.

I wasn't even wearing that bad of clothing. I was wearing black leggings with a white tank top and a grey oversized jacket. But my mom wanted me to change my shirt into a long sleeve.

But I didn't change because dad said we have to leave.

Isabelle and Wes aren't coming with us because Johnathon was going to be home today, and they want to spend some time with him since they haven't seen him in a while.

But I understand. Johnathon is always overseas so they barely have any time to spend with one another.

"How much longer are we from the hill dad?" I asked getting impatient.

"Just a few more minutes sweetheart relax." Dad chuckled.

"Hey," I look at Jack who patted my shoulder. He showed me his phone, so I look down. I see two cars racing and spinning out of control. "Rick shot this from the tracks the other day and just sent me this." I feel myself smile while watching the video. "Cool right Bambi?"

I love it when he calls me Bambi. He said he calls me Bambi because I remind him of the deer in the movie Bambi. He said when I was younger, I would always fall and was clueless. He calls me Bambi now to remind me that I am beautiful because Bambi in the movie is beautiful, he thinks. When he started calling me that it became my favorite movie. Well after the movie The Lion King.

When the video finished, I turn to my side and look out the window. I look at the mountains that we're over the hill we were driving on. The road was empty, nobody on it.

I catch the name of the road and see the words 'memorialize road'.

I look away and look at my mom who was already looking at me but then I divert my eyes away from her and to the bright light coming towards us.

"DAD! WATCH OUT!" I yelled at my dad who was looking at me from the rearview mirror.

The car that was about to hit us tries to stirs away and shift the gears in the car causing them to crash right near us. My dad tried to control the car but it's just going in circles as we are all holding on for our lives.

My mom is saying my dad's name calming, silently praying for it all to be okay.

I see another car coming straight towards us but before it hit us, I feel Jack unbuckle my seatbelt and move me to sit in his and then covering my body with his on top.

"I'm right here Bambi. I'm not letting you go. You're going to be okay." Jack whispered in my ear. "I love you." He said before I feel our car gets crash making it flip over.

I scream and pray for it all to be home and I hear my mother's pleas and my dad's voice trying to calm her down.

"Momma! Daddy!" I yelled before I felt my head hit something making me see nothing but darkness.

I open my eyes and my breathing is out of control.

"Momma! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I said as I sat up in the bed.

I feel tears run down my face as I look around the room finding someone.

Anyone.

My family, my cousin, my aunt, my grandma-

"Alexis listen to my voice I'm right here." I look in front of me and see Kayden who is giving a concerned look. "You're okay you're alright. I'm right here." He said in a calming voice.

"I- I-"

I couldn't finish my sentence and I guess Kayden knew that because he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around me and pulling my shaking body closer to him.

"You're okay. I'm right here."

I lean my head on his chest and try to control my breathing as Kayden rubs my back while also whispering into my ear, saying everything will be okay.

I don't say anything and neither does he.

He just holds me in his arms as I calm myself down.

'Memorialize road'

I finally know what road it was. After two years of wondering what it was, I know.

I hear a phone ring making me get off Kayden's chest and look around the room.

Kayden turns his body to grab his phone and when he does, he answers. "Yea?" Kayden answered. "Alexis's," Kayden stated. "I'll ask her, but I don't think she will be up for it," Kayden said looking at me. I raise my eyebrow and he takes the phone away from his ear. "The group wants to know if you are still down for the Carnival. They are about to head there right now."

I could use a distraction right now.

I don't even want to be here in this room anymore.

"Yeah, sure I just need to change,"

AUTHORS NOTE

So while looking at the comments of this chapter I was super upset to see people bashing the character for having a PTSD experience, for example, Alexis calling out for her mom. I don't know if you guys have ever had PTSD but it's not something to laugh about.
Mental health is so so important to me and that's one of the reasons why I wrote this story. Alexis and her mother had a fight and didn't even get to talk about it after her mother died and you expect her to be okay with it and not have PTSD? Like if you were in that experience I 100% know that you wouldn't want anyone to laugh about how you react to trauma like that.
You guys may see it as embarrassing and maybe it is but I put that certain line and "scene" there because I wanted to show her PTSD and what she goes through. I know for a fact if she were by herself without Kayden in the room, screaming for her mom like that, some would still find it embarrassing which is so stupid and honestly kind of upsetting.
Not to lecture you guys but Mental Health is just so so important to me and I hate it when people think it's a joke when it's not. Bottom line is, don't joke about PTSD or anyone who has trauma like that! You have no clue what they are going through and what really happened.