❝When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it's worth something.❞

- Anonymous

[ H U N T E R   W I L L I A M S ]

It was a cold Monday morning on December sixteenth - the day I was supposed to go on the ski trip to Scotland.

The temperature over the weekend dropped dramatically, it was barely two degrees Celcius and I could see my breath condensate as I exhaled. Of course, if I was a little younger and a little less mature, I would've taken advantage of the situation and pretended I was a dragon, but I resisted the temptation.

I walked into the parking lot of Lockwood High School, where I could see people already waiting around. It was merely seven in the morning and we were supposed to leave at quarter past seven, people needed to hurry up to make it.

The school had rented a coach for the journey, which by the way, would be an eight-hour ride to get to the resort from Manchester. I knew we'd be at the resort until Sunday morning, so I packed lightly to get through the week. Coach Jennings had instructed us to not worry about the equipment or expenses and told us to bring warm clothing and absolute necessities.

Speaking of which, I saw Coach Jennings pull into the parking lot and in his passenger seat, I saw none other than Blake Carter. The last person I wanted to see right now. I was trying my hardest to push him out of my head ever since we parted ways on Friday. The fact that he kissed me 'to get my attention' was still eating me alive and I hated that feeling.

Remember Friday as a whole was a chore. I felt so much better now that I had time to think over the weekend, I concluded that I was the one responsible for what had happened, but I was going to look past it and move forward again. I won't make the mistake of letting Bailey get off easily for the third time.

Blake stepped out of the car and immediately headed my way, I felt my muscles stiffen up without any intent. "Hey, you feelin' alright?" He muttered caringly. 

I nodded and shot him a small smile. My feelings were still a little tousled but I was managing, my knuckles, although sore, were finishing up healing, the skin still extremely raw after my little teenage angst moment. "Yeah, I'm okay," I responded in a low tone, lowering the scarf that covered my mouth.

"Can I see your knuckles? I was afraid they'd get infected because you refused to go back into the school and let me fix you." He shot me a glare and I smiled at the memory. I knew it was stupid to refuse help when it was a few steps away, but I wasn't going to go back in there after seeing Bailey taking advantage of my ex-boyfriend just fifteen minutes prior.

"Could you blame me?" I challenged with a glare, taking my gloves off to show him that I was healing at a rapid pace.

Mr Featherhead rolled his eyes and shook his head. "They don't look too bad, guess you were lucky enough not to get an infection. Just don't go around punching any more brick columns and they should be fine." Blake smirked at me as he inspected my hands. His touch on my hand was scalding hot and I felt myself getting all bubbly inside.

The fact that now I realized I was actually in love with my English teacher, was tough for me to acknowledge. I was trying to avoid any kind of real contact with him, without making it look like I was avoiding him. 

I put my gloves back on as soon as he let go and heard Blake cough uncontrollably. I grew concerned because the coughing sounded like something serious and not just a random sore throat. "You okay?" I asked, looking at him dubiously.

The man regained his composure and brushed it off with a small wave. "Yeah, don't worry about it, it's nothing." You could imagine that I wasn't buying his dismissive approach to it, but I didn't say anything. If he thought he was fine I had no right to argue.

The coach pulled into the parking lot and everyone rushed to get on, Blake and I were the last ones to get on it because of the initial crowding. Once everybody from the parking lot was inside, Mr Jennings went over the list, calling out last names and making sure everyone who said they'd go was here.

I was surprised to not hear Eli's last name being mentioned as he read off of the list, it was pleasant knowing that one of my demons from the past wasn't coming. I looked around for Troy Beckett and spotted him sitting alone. We had agreed that we'd keep each other company - well, Evelyn was the one who decided that, but that wasn't the point.

We exchanged our greetings and I plopped down on the seat next to him, pulling my earphones out of my bag. It was an eight-hour-long ride and I wasn't about to spend it without listening to music. I think I'd rather die than try to keep a conversation going this early in the morning.

I saw Blake shoot me a confused look when I took my seat next to Troy, did he expect me to sit with him? I could barely get him out of my head and I wasn't about to spend the next eight hours of my life right beside him.

Did I want to? More than anything.

Was it smart? Not in the slightest.

I decided to follow my intuition this time and just relaxed into the seat. I pulled my gloves off and put the earphones, which had gone a little stiff due to the cold weather, in my ears. I swiped the cold screen of my phone until I found my Spotify app, I didn't feel like listening to the same songs I already overplayed, so I found a random playlist and pressed shuffle.

A song by Tessa Violet called Crush came on and suddenly, Blake entered my mind. The lyrics closely resembled the last few weeks of my life. 

♪ - I'm just tryna play it cool now,

But that's not what I wanna do - ♪

I tried to keep my eyes off of Blake, who had been focused on his phone now. But it was harder than I thought, my eyes kept violating my mind and darted towards him, studying him carefully. I knew he felt my glare because suddenly, he turned his head to me and shot me a look.

I shied away from his stare but felt his eyes on me regardless. I knew he was onto me, there was no way he hadn't been. I figured I'd have to avoid him during the ski trip, I doubted that it would be that difficult anyway.

The fact that we were going to Scotland to ski up in the mountains was still kind of dawning upon me. I loved the idea of skiing but was never able to put the idea to fruition, until now. Would I likely injure myself? Most definitely, but was I going to have fun with it? Maybe, I don't know.

I knew it was a lot better than sulking at school before the winter break, this trip could help me take my mind off of things. The fact that I was going to spend Christmas alone again was devastating but I tried to focus on the good things in my life right now - excluding Blake.

I was getting tired of this song, the accuracy of it was depressing and I just wanted to take a break from my feelings for Blake. We had most definitely been closer, however, I still knew that the chances of us being together were close to none. But I wasn't going to let that get me down anymore, the fact that I know he cares about me is enough to satisfy me for now. I could somehow keep my hormones in check, I figured.

A part of me knew that the reception up in the highlands would be horrible, so I took advantage of my location and scavenged the Internet for everyone's best comfort - memes. I would just sleep for the rest of the way to the resort if I got bored because I had all the time in the world.

I secretly prayed to the world that I wouldn't have to encounter troubles during this trip, I just wanted to relax and have a little fun before the holidays. Just then, I heard Blake cough maniacally again and recover a few moments later.

For some reason, I doubted that the world would listen to my prayer.