Chapter 31

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OLIVIA'S POV

I had spent the whole night sitting at the dining room table, raw with the emotion from sleeping with Craig and hurt by the brutal words that came flying out of Harry's mouth like daggers.

I hadn't slept a wink, hoping he would come back through the door with an apology or an excuse or something, but he hadn't come home.

I called Bec as soon as it was late enough in the morning to call without her being too mad at me and explained my night, minute by minute.


She had been happy for me that I was finally living the single life I had never had but when I told her about Harry she was uncharacteristically quiet.

"I don't know what to say," she confessed.

"I love you both, I understand why you are doing what you are doing and will always support you but I can see why he's hurting so much. Although throwing Dan cheating in your face is pretty damn harsh when he's been fucking girls every few days.  I really have no advice for you this time sis," she sighed.

I wallowed in my own misery all day, wondering where Harry was or when he would come home and what I was going to say to him when he did.

At 3pm my phone vibrates and I look down to see a message from Bec.

*Harry's at Xander's, he stayed there last night and might stay again tonight. Just a heads up he told Xander he is bringing a date to his party of Friday, some model.  X*

My head is spinning with a mix of fatigue, anger and pain and before I can stop myself I am messaging Craig and inviting him to the party.

I pull a blanket over my head and cry myself to sleep on the couch in Harry's living room, wishing I had never moved in here in the first place.

My eyes flutter open and take a second to adjust. It is pitch black outside, the stove light in the kitchen is the only light on in the house and I know from noise of the kettle boiling that Harry is home.

I peel myself off the couch and take in a steadying breath before walking into the kitchen to face him.

When his green eyes meet mine I can tell the anger from last night has subsided.  We stand looking at each other, neither one knowing what to say before he clears his throat and mumbles something about being sorry for waking me up.

"That's what you're sorry for?" I scoff as he looks down and shakes his head at the floor.

"No, I'm sorry about everything last night Liv, it was a massive double standard to make you feel shit about having sex and I shouldn't have said that shit about Dan.  I just- I was hurt and I was an arsehole and you didn't deserve it."

He takes two long strides and closes the gap between us, wrapping his arms around me.

"We can't keep hurting each other, I don't want to hurt you," I say into his sweater.


"I know you don't, it's not your fault."

He bends his knees and picks me up, walking me carefully backwards to sit on the marble bench top as he stands in between my legs. 

His hands are on my face and his forehead is on mine. The darkness surrounds us and the subtle warm glow from the stove light makes his stunning face look like he just descended from heaven.


"I'm sorry for what I said, please forgive me." He begs and I nod my head softly.

"I've never been more jealous in my life Liv, I wanted to find you and break down his door, I wanted to stop you, to beg you to be with me instead. But I know that wouldn't work."  He pauses to lick his lips

"I was so worried about you. Were you ok? You know.. after, before you saw me?" He asks pulling his head back to look into my eyes, his thumbs brushing my cheeks as silent encouragement.

I look into his eyes and although he is trying to be my friend, all I can see is his unwavering love for me.

I shake my head and a tear falls down my cheek as I remember the cab ride home, the horrible feeling that I had made a mistake and the onslaught of abuse for it the second I walked through the front door.

His thumb catches my tear and his lips are instantly replacing it.

"Shit, darling, I was such an arsehole, I'm so sorry."  He says, kissing my cheek again before pulling me into his body and with my head in his neck and I start to cry.

I'm crying for so many reasons my mind is struggling to keep up. I'm crying for the emptiness I felt after sleeping with Craig, I'm crying for the frustration at myself for letting what happened with Dan effect me so much, I'm crying for hurting this amazing man holding me and I'm crying from the devastation I feel for not being able to give him what he deserves.

He rubs my back until I catch my breath and the tears start to dry up.  He kisses my damp skin, my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, whispering how sorry he is and that it's going to be ok.

"Harry, last night, you said I would be too late, I would never ask you to wait for me." I sniffle.

He shakes his head and sighs wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I should never have said that, I'm sorry.  It's not true. What am I going to do? Find someone else? There is no one else for me, Liv." He says, his voice hitches in the back of his throat and a fresh tear breaks free and trickles down my face.

He catches it with his mouth, gently kissing my skin before licking his lips to savour the taste.  He closes his eyes and runs his nose over mine and softly kisses the other cheek.

He pulls back painfully slow and hovers his lips over mine.  His breath is warm and his perfect mouth is heart-stoppingly close as the intoxicating mix of pain and passion swims around my mind and through my veins.

"Please, just kiss me," he whispers and if I leant forward any further I would be able to feel his lips moving on mine.

"If I start I wont be able to stop."I confess.

"Then don't stop."

His hands move to my knees and he drags them slowly up my thighs and on to my hips.  I stop breathing when he leans forward and runs his silky soft lips over mine with a touch so light I have to close my eyes to feel it.

A strangled noise escapes my lips, part ecstasy, part agony

"Oh god," he breathes.  "I know you feel this too, Liv."

I press my forehead against his in an attempt to gain enough distance from his lips to think.

"I can't, Harry," I whimper. 

"I'm too insecure, too fucked up. I'm too scared to lose you or that you'll hurt me. You have the most beautiful women in the world throwing themselves at you. How could I expect you to give that up when I couldn't even get my fiancé to stay faithful to me?"

"Because he's a fucking idiot and I am so in love with you!"

His confession hits me like a freight train and although I already knew he loved me, hearing him say those words with so much longing and certainty, has me pulling away to look into his eyes.

"Do you know how in love with you I am?  Do you know?" he repeats, as his eyes stare into my soul.

"I know," I tell him trying to catch my breath.

"Do you know?" I ask.

"What?"

"Do you know that I'm in love with you?  With all that I can and all that I have left.  You deserve so much more, but all the broken pieces of my heart are yours, Harry.  Do you know?" I ask again.

"I know, Liv." He chokes as tears run down his angelic face.

We are desperately kissing each others falling tears away as our declarations of love hang in the air.  My lips caress every inch of skin on his face except his lips and he does the same before breaking away.

"Do you know?" He asks again

"I know, Harry. Do you know?"

He laughs through his tears, "I know, baby."

He wraps his arms around me and buries his head in my neck and we sit like this, savouring this moment of devotion and absorbing every inch of each other until the sun begins to rise

He starts to pull away as the first rays of sunlight start to peek through the windows.  The sincerity in his eyes is blinding as he runs a thumb over my bottom lip.


"You tell me when you're ready for me to kiss your lips, Liv, because once I do, I'm not going to kiss anyone else ever again and neither are you."

I nod, acknowledging what I know to be the truth and he kisses my forehead before I watch him walk down the hallway and close his bedroom door behind him.


A/N: HAPPY WEEKEND LOVERS! :) enjoy!!  

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