A few days later

"What is this?" I say as I lay on top of Jesse on the playmat with my head on his chest, leaning up a little and pointing at the image of a skull and crossbones on his arm

He chuckles deeply and places that arm behind his head, "A skull and crossbones."

Rolling my eyes I say, "Ok well why do you have it?"

"Because I wanted to get it?" He says laughing and scoffs as I left myself off of his chest and taking my right leg and throwing it over his torso, straddling him on either side so that I can see his whole chest that's covered in black ink

I move my left hand and begin to trace around the artwork that's littered all over his body. Different images that eager to know the meaning of as he's finally giving me that "Tattoo Explanation Tour" that he was talking about at Emiliano's.

I see a tattoo on his left side of a woman. Her face is so realistically drawn. I start to trace her hair noticing that the woman is drawn with a straight short bob, most likely brown hair. A tight-lipped grin on her mouth. Looking into her eyes I'm even more appreciative of the tattoo artist's work because it feels like I'm making eye contact with her even though she's not real.

Jesse shifts his gaze from the ceiling as he looks down at where I'm tracing, "My mother." He says quietly

I'm brought out of my trance as I look back up at him, "I knew you were wondering who she was. It's my mother. It's how I remembered her looking before she passed." He says

Nodding my head I stare back down at the image. She was undoubtedly stunning. "She was beautiful."

He leans his head back again staring at the ceiling, "I know." He says sighing

Not knowing what to say I stay quiet. Still leaning over Jesse, I look at him, peeking from underneath my lashes but scanning over his other tattoos

He interrupts my gazing when he says, "Sometimes I wonder if my life would've turned out differently had she been around longer." He says more to himself

"I know my life would be different now actually." He continues, "She was the peacemaker at home. My father was the one that disrupted it."

"Being in and out of jail will do that to a person I guess." He sighs, "She was head over heels for him and all he did was suck the life out of her day by day."

"I remember when he had actually been caught for the first time. He got sent to jail and it was like you could see her soul leaving her body. The first few days, she wouldn't eat. How could she with her partner in jail and a 7-year-old son to take care of by herself for the next two years."

"We had money but we didn't have access to it because my dad was the only one who did. My mom was a stay at home mother so she didn't have anything coming in. We had nothing to eat besides those ramen cup noodles. And those cup noodles are a scam because there's only like less than half the cup in them." He says twisting his face in disgust and I laugh quietly

"My godfather was able to get the information we needed from my dad and my mom soon had access to everything. He sent his love. It wasn't enough though because she started to get even more depressed."

"To keep a long story short, she needed emotional support he wasn't there to give it to her." He shrugs, "I found her lying face up in the bathroom she had accidentally overdosed off of her anti-depressants. She turned to drinking while he was gone too and apparently you shouldn't mix medication and alcohol."

He taps the side of my right thigh signaling at me to move over and I do so, quickly. He leans up and I take my position sitting right next to him as he brings his knees to his chest and I do the same with mine.

"I must have watched her flatline at least twice before her heart gave out. I wasn't supposed to be in the room with her for some reason but this really nice nurse had let me sit beside her on the bed so I could hold her hand." He glances at me quickly before facing forward again

"I blamed my dad for it when he got out. I didn't speak to him for weeks until I realized that she wouldn't have approved of my behavior."

"God, I just know she'd be disappointed with how I coped with her being gone." He laughs bitterly, "I'd recycle women like it was a damn earth day project." He chuckles shaking his head placing it on his knees

Bringing my hand to his back, I rub it softly in thought. He really has gone through a lot and he's only 18.

These last couple of weeks have shown me the importance of not judging a book by its cover. He doesn't even need to explain all of this to me but I'm amazed how easy it's pouring out. I'm honored the He even trusts me enough to go in-depth like this.

"I just hope I'm able to run the 'family business' well enough to not embarrass my father. Having him roll around in his grave and shit." He chuckles softly and I can't help but join

I wanted to say something inspirational but I know nothing about the life he lives besides the fact that I know he's just settling and doing it because he feels it's his duty. And although it is, I feel like there's more out there for him.

What could I even say, 'keep calm and hold on?'

"I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you." He clears his throat awkwardly still not looking at me

Grabbing his face by the chin, I force him to look at me. I place both hands on his cheek and say, "You don't ever have to apologize for talking about your feelings. For venting." I shake my head, "I don't mind." I pause, "I mean I'd rather you talk about this stuff with me rather than threatening to kill me like you did before." I chuckle and he rolls his eyes doing the same

"I guess I regret saying that." He says as I squish his face, "I only wanna kill you half as much now." And I gasp

"Only half?" I laugh in disbelief

"You're right, you're right. I'd say a solid 45%" he says

"I hate you so much."

"No, you don't."

"You're right." I say nodding, "I only hate you half as much." I grin as I brush my lips over his and closed the space between pushing up to meet my lips gently moving his against my own. Moving my hands off of his face and using his hands to grasp the back of my head, bringing me closer

This goes on for a while before I remember something quickly and pull my lips away from his as he groans trying to pull my head closer again

"Stop!" I laugh "I have a question."

He sighs and glares at me, "What?"

"Why do Emiliano and Athena call you Junior?" I ask

"Because my government name is Jesse Duran Jr. I was named after my father."

"Oh," I say in recognition, "...can I call you that?" I ask batting my eyelashes quickly

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Why Not?"

"Because I said no."

"But other people call you it!"

"Yes, and I hate being called that so you don't get to say it."

"But I want to."

"But you can't." He deadpans

I sigh and look forward, "You're right. I guess I can."

"Exactly."

"Ah-ha! I just said I can say it and you said it's okay." I point out and his face comes to the realization before it drops and he's glaring at me again

"It's not too late to do what I promised." He says in reference to literally ending my life, as I'm used to his dark humor it no longer bothers me

"You'd miss me too much," I say smiling

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

——————

SURPRISE SHAWTYYYYY

A double update. :)

I feel so accomplished now that this is out :)

Thanks for reading ❤️