Ellie wanted to be distracting. She wanted Mia not to worry.

Ellie thought she knew enough about worrying that she knew what to do, that she should just start and let Mia catch up on her own. It was what would work for Ellie.

Ellie wanted to start, but she wasn’t sure exactly how. She wanted them undressed. She wanted to undress Mia, to feel Mia all warm and bare against her skin. She wanted that badly, but she was a little concerned Mia might be thinking too much about Mark barging in, and might prefer a quick grope under their clothes instead. Just fingering, Ellie thought, instead of hours of naked sex.

Ellie wanted naked sex though, so she decided to start that anyway. To undress, and undress Mia, and be ready to stop if Mia seemed uncomfortable.

Ellie’s hands were shaking, she wanted Mia so much.

She kissed Mia. She kissed, and undid Mia’s shirt, one button at a time. She kissed the bare skin around Mia’s chest that the unbuttoning revealed, and licked Mia’s neck, and kissed Mia’s wrists, too, doing everything she could to be distracting.

Mia closed her eyes.

Ellie went slowly. She was still having trouble with buttons being back to front, and trembling hands, and she was also trying to see if Mia was getting worried. She wasn’t used to Mia being nervous, to Mia being anything but herself, so she wanted to be careful, just in case this all went wrong. In case Mia got upset.

Mia didn’t seem to be, though. Mia didn’t seem to mind at all. She seemed to be enjoying Ellie’s touches. She sighed and stroked Ellie’s arm, and whispered, “That’s nice.”

Ellie kissed Mia’s mouth, to stop her talking.

Mostly to stop her talking.

Ellie didn’t think Mark would hear them, but she didn’t want Mia worrying he might, so she kissed Mia’s mouth to keep her quiet. Or at least, she pretended to herself that was why, because even though Mia was nervous, the whole sneaking thing was turning Ellie on.

She thought about that for a while, as she kissed. Sneaking was sexy.

Mia was seeming more comfortable too, now they’d started. She actually seemed relaxed, and like she was just feeling, and not thinking very much at all. Perhaps Mia wasn’t someone who worried for very long, Ellie thought. Ellie understood how that worked. She knew what worry felt like, and she was fairly sure she knew how to make it go away.

She was making it go away right now.

She kissed, and licked, and undid Mia’s shirt all the way down the front, then opened it up, held it open, and kissed Mia’s breasts around the top of her bra. She kissed slowly, making Mia sigh, and as soon as Mia did, half-teasing, Ellie said, “We have to be quiet.”

“I know,” Mia whispered.

“You have to be quiet.”

Mia sounded like she was smiling. “I know.”

Ellie took Mia’s shirt off her. She reached behind Mia, stretching a little, to pull it backwards and slip it off Mia’s arms. She kissed Mia’s shoulders as the shirt slid away from them, and kissed along Mia’s arms as she pulled them free of the sleeves. Then she folded the shirt, and draped it across the bed so it didn’t get crumpled, and turned back to Mia.

Carefully, she kissed Mia’s mouth. She reached behind Mia with both hands, and undid Mia’s bra. She did it properly this time, and surprised herself by doing it easily. Far more easily than she had a couple of days ago. She slipped it off, carefully, while Mia moved her arms to help.

Ellie kept kissing.

She kissed Mia’s breasts, and Mia sighed and stroked Ellie’s hair. Ellie liked the silky softness of Mia’s skin against her mouth, and the achy hardness of Mia’s nipples between her lips. Mia’s breasts were softly squishy and her nipples felt slippery-hard, wet with Ellie’s spit. Ellie liked that feeling.

“That’s good,” Mia whispered.

“Shh,” Ellie said, not quite joking, even though Mia wasn’t making very much noise.

Ellie kept kissing. She felt around for the zipper of Mia’s skirt. She was sure she’d seen it at the back, but it was actually at the side. The zipper was small, quite fiddly. Ellie got it open in the end, but she had to look first, and concentrate.

She unzipped the skirt, and slid it down, bending to reach as she did. She kissed Mia’s neck, then licked down Mia’s body as she bent, kissing one of Mia’s breasts as she passed, licking Mia’s tummy too, in the end, slowly sliding her tongue down Mia’s body as she skid the skirt down Mia’s legs.

In the end, Ellie knelt. She had to so she could reach. She knelt, with her lips still against Mia’s tummy, kissing, feeling Mia’s skin warm against her face.

Ellie pulled at the skirt, and Mia moved her feet, stepping out of it. Ellie put the skirt on the bed too, carefully, so it didn’t crease. She kept kneeling while she did, not really thinking about it. She draped the skirt, then turned back to Mia and glanced upwards.

Mia was watching her with a longing expression on her face.

Ellie stopped for a moment, puzzled, and then suddenly realized why.

Because she was kneeling, Ellie realized. Because of where she was kneeling, and how she was kneeling, right in front of Mia like she was about to tug Mia’s underwear off and give Mia head.

And for a moment, Ellie was tempted.

She was tempted, and she was scared too, and she knew she wasn’t completely ready. She didn’t know what to do, or what to expect while she did, and worse, she knew exactly how important it would be to Mia that she had, when she did.

It being important actually made it more difficult. It meant this mattered terrible.

Ellie wanted to. She actually did. She knew she liked Mia’s taste, and that having Mia’s wetness in her mouth turned her on.

She ought to just do it, she knew, but she couldn’t right now, not any more.

If this had been their first time together, and if giving Mia head hadn’t already become a big deal, then she might have just done it.

But it was a big deal. The whole thing had become complicated, far too complicated, because Ellie had thought too much earlier. Because now, as soon as Ellie did, it would be a big deal. It would be to Mia, because Ellie was, even if it wasn’t actually to Ellie.

Ellie might still have done it, right then, except that this wasn’t the right time.

Not here, kneeling on the floor, being furtive and sneaky, it just wasn’t the right time for something so special and important. Not when Mia would be thinking as much about being caught as she would about enjoying Ellie’s mouth. And not when Ellie was still worried that she might do it right, and that Mia might not enjoy it, and would probably need reassurance that here could only be given, half-heard, in whispers.

Ellie knew she would soon, but this wasn’t the right time, and she suddenly didn’t know how to explain that.

Mia looked longing, and like she’d be disappointed, and Ellie didn’t want Mia disappointed at all. She wanted Mia confident, and happy, and sexy, like she usually was.

Ellie suddenly wasn’t sure what to do.