Chapter 33

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Ellie waited, but Mia didn’t drive away. She was still looking at Ellie.

Ellie assumed she wanted to kiss again, and tugged at the seatbelt until it loosened enough to let her lean over.

Mia kissed her, but that wasn’t it. “So what does that mean, don’t I have a plan?” Mia said, as soon as they’d stopped kissing.

“What?” Ellie said, then realized. What she’d said outside the car. “I don’t know. You always seem to have a plan, that’s all.”

Mia looked a little surprised. “No I don’t.”

Ellie shrugged.

“I don’t,” Mia said.

“Okay.”

Mia looked at Ellie for a moment. “Are you all right?” she said. “You seem a little…”

Elli nodded slowly. “Yep.”

Mia didn’t seem sure. She hesitated, then said, “So what should we do?”

“There’s my place,” Ellie said. “If we can’t think of anything else.”

She said it like that was distasteful, trying to make clear she didn’t actually want to. That she’d rather sit in an unlit car-parking building and eat cold takeout than go home. It was almost as a test, to see what Mia thought. To see if Mia agreed. Because Ellie still couldn’t decide if they were pretending they were only friends, and it seemed like if Mia wanted sex, then she’d probably realize that getting past Mark to Ellie’s bed would be awkward for everyone, and would say no to going to Ellie’s.

Either that, or she’d think Ellie wanted to go out but had a really odd way of saying so. Ellie had only just thought of that, and that it might not work as a test after all.

“Going somewhere else’s fine,” Mia said, and Ellie sat there, wondering.

It was a little too ambiguous for her to be sure.

She started wondering if she should just ask about the sex. She’d be embarrassed, but it might be better.

Then Mia said, “It might be tricky at yours. With Mark and everything.”

And Ellie started to smile, without quite meaning to.

She was relieved. Relieved, and very pleased. Far more that she’d expected to be.

She nodded, trying not to look too excited.

She wasn’t sure she was managing.

Because of that, because of the relief, she decided to tease Mia.

Because, obviously she would. Because she was overreacting to being pleased, and some part of her was probably thinking it might help with the seeming too excited. Because Mia was always teasing her, so it only seemed fair. She wouldn’t have done it if she’d thought first, but she didn’t think at all.

Instead she just said, “Um, wait. What might be tricky?”

Mia looked at her.

“What is it you’ve got planned that makes Mark tricky?” Ellie said.

“I don’t have a plan,” Mia said. “I told you.”

“But what do you think we’re going to do that Mark shouldn’t know about?”

Mia kept looking for a moment longer, then just said, “Don’t.”

Ellie grinned. And after a moment Mia did too.

“So where?” Mia said, after a moment of smiling at each other.

“You decide,” Ellie said. “A drink. Food. A walk somewhere. Anything.”

“Do you want a walk?”

“If you do.” Ellie was a little surprised Mia had picked that. Surprised enough she said, “Really? A walk?”:

“If you want to.”

“It’s getting dark.”

“It’s getting dusk, not dark.”

“But…” Ellie said, then, “Do you like doing it outdoors or something?”

Mia started to grin too. “Sure,” she said. “Maybe.” After a moment she added, “Doing what?”

Ellie sat there looking at Mia, and thinking that if Mia wanted to sit here being clever, then that was fine and Ellie would too. Because after all the other teasing she’d got from Mia, Ellie wasn’t going to be the one who stopped first. Even if they were both choosing to do this, rather than just going off having sex.

“I don’t mind,” Ellie said. “We can do whatever you want...”

Mia nodded.

“Although if we do go for a walk,” Ellie said. “We might have to talk.”

“We can talk.”

“With the walking, I mean. For when we aren’t groping each other.”

Mia looked confused. “So we’ll go for a walk and grope each other,” she said. “We don’t have to talk unless you really want to.”

Ellie hesitated. She’d been being silly, but had got herself confused too, now. She decided the joke was getting out of hand.

“No,” she said. “I don’t mind talking.”

Mia seemed bewildered. “I thought… You just said…”

Ellie sighed. “I was teasing. Because you don’t seem to like to talk.”

“I talk.”

“You don’t just talk about nothing.”

“Well yeah,’ Mia said. “I know.”

Ellie almost gave up. “I mean… I was saying….” She stopped. “I would like to talk. I would also like to grope you. I don’t mind which or when or if we do both at once.”

“Okay,” Mia said. “Good.”

“I don’t mind talking,” Ellie said. “So we’re clear. I really don’t.”

“Yep, I got you.”

They looked at each other. Mia still seemed a little puzzled, and Ellie was annoyed at herself for making things worse. She was being silly, kind of giggly without the giggling. They still hadn’t decided where they were going, and Ellie was just complicating things, by being like this.

“Can we start again?” Ellie said. “Please? I think I just…”

Mia looked relieved.

“Start over,” Ellie said. “Please.”

“Okay,” Mia said. “So are we going somewhere or what…?”

Ellie almost screamed. “I really like you,” Ellie said carefully. “I do. But don’t be a smartass right now. Please.”

“I’m not,” Mia said, sounding surprised. “I’m actually asking. Should I be parking, or…”

Ellie looked at Mia for a moment, and decided she meant it. Mia wasn’t starting to grin, like she normally would when she was teasing.

“Oh,” Ellie said, then, “Yeah, anywhere.”

“Maybe if we went and sat under a freeway bridge it might be loud enough we won’t have to talk,” Mia said.

Then she sat there, waiting.

Ellie realized Mia was actually teasing her that time and said, “Fuck. Stop it.”

“Sorry,” Mia said.

“Yeah, just… Stop. Seriously.”

“My place?” Mia said. “You could just come to mine. That might be easier.”

“It might.”

“Just come for a drink,” Mia said.

Ellie nodded slowly.

“It doesn’t have to be anything else,” Mia said. “Not if you don’t want it to…”

“What?” Ellie said startled, and then realized. Mia thought Ellie was reluctant, because she was being quiet.

Reluctant, rather than just utterly confused.

“No,” Ellie said. “Shit. I’ll come to your place. If you want me to. I mean, do you want to? Do you want me there?”

Ellie realized she was talking far too much, and made herself stop.

Mia didn’t seem to have noticed, though. She just nodded, and said, “Yeah, my place is good.”

“You’re sure?” Ellie said.

Mia nodded.

“And also,” Ellie said. “The not being anything? You said it didn’t have to be anything?”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be something,” Ellie said. “It’ll so completely be something. Don’t worry about that for a second.”

Suddenly Mia seemed pleased. She grinned.

She kept sitting where she was.

“So your place?” Ellie said, wanting to go now they’d decided.

“Okay.”

“Then let’s go,” Ellie said.

Mia didn’t move.

“Um…?” Ellie said, wondering what it was now.

Mia was still looking at her. Mia was just looking at her, and smiling, as if Ellie making her confused, or Ellie being confused, was actually a very good thing.

“What?” Ellie said.

“You’re sure you don’t mind kissing right outside your work?” Mia said.

Ellie started to smile. “Not at all.”

Mia leaned over, and kissed Ellie again. Slowly. Properly now, for as long as the time to take a slow breath, with her mouth open, with her eyes closed. She kissed so by the time she was done, Ellie was wet and desperate and wanting her almost more than she could stand.

Mia sat back. She kept looking at Ellie while she put her seatbelt back on.

“Shit,” Ellie said, without meaning to, then blushed.

Mia grinned. “Yep,” she said. “I thought.”

She put the car in gear, and grinned again, and then looked over her shoulder, and drove away.

She was driving better today, although Ellie didn’t think she should say that.

Instead she kept quiet, and watched Mia drive, and was little stunned by how much one kiss had turned her on.

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