Smut warning!!! Once it starts it stops at the end of the chapter. You can skip it if it makes you uncomfortable.
<3

QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT!! incase you haven't seen, I've made a playlist for this series! I love it. The link is in my bio :)

Ok ok sorry back to the story..

XXXVII
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Crystal's POV***

At this point I understood that I had become an actual alcoholic. And I hated myself for it.

But the really sad part was that this acknowledgment wasn't doing much to stop me, if anything at all.

Even though I hadn't been sad all the time, or constantly in a state of wanting to erase my emotions like I had been when this all started, it still felt as though the bottle of tequila in our dorm closet was a mosquito bite begging to be scratched. It felt as thought there was a magnetic field between it and I. And it kept me up at night.

I'd tried to get rid of it a few times, but each time I would just hold it in my hand above the trash and pause, telling myself any possible excuse not to. And the excuse usually worked, no matter how stupid it was. I didn't even want to drink, I just felt like I needed to for some reason. I was unwillingly devoted to it.

I had built up the courage to let Ali know that I was having these struggles and about my mom's history, and she was really great about it all. She promised to help me out in any way she could, apparently not remembering about the bottle in our room- or knowing to take it away.

How subconsciously relieved I was when I realized this made me sick.

But she couldn't be there with me every night, and obviously I would never ask her too. So sometimes that mosquito bite just got too itchy. Even if I had to take one sip, it scratched it enough in my mind.

I needed help. But I was scared. And I didn't even know particularly of what or who, but I was really scared.

I had finally felt secure in who loved me and who I loved in my life after so long, but then here I was screwing up everything and all that stability and assurance yet again. Shocker.

I pushed away all the thoughts of alcohol and my inevitable breakdown because of it, and focused on the fact that Ashton said we could come visit tonight, and the fact that Ali had told me she was going to be staying off campus with her friends for two nights.

Perfect opportunity to torture Ashton, if I did say so myself. He hadn't made up with Eli yet, so my threat still held true.

I said goodbye to Ali as she left, and fell back into my bed, waiting patiently for Ashton to arrive. The time seemed to pass so slowly as I lay alone in that room with nothing but myself and the closet door silently calling my name. I kept pushing that voice away successfully, but was still relieved when Ashton called me.

He told me he was there, and I hopped off my bed to get get him from the first floor. When I saw him through the glass doors, he was looking down at his phone, and I smiled softly to myself.

He was wearing a black T-shirt that seemed to make his already dark hair and features appear darker, as well as those sweatpants that always made me feel some type of way.

I guess he had come here with the intention of riling me up... but we both had to have known that I wouldn't let him win at this 'no sleeping with until you talk to Eli' thing.

When I opened the door and he looked up at me, his eyes scanned over my face quickly and he smiled before bringing into a big hug.

"I've missed you," he spoke into my hair, and I hugged him back tightly. His hugs never got old. Every time still felt like the first time he hugged me.

When we got into my dorm, he immediately fell down onto my bed and I chuckled at him as I sat down on Ali's. He looked over at me with puppy dog eyes, and I shook my head in response.

"You can't even cuddle with me now?" He said, and I sighed through a slight blush. I mean.. I guess that hadn't been part of the threat.

"Don't go trying any funny business, mister. Innocent cuddles only," I told him sternly as I sat down on the bed next to him. He wore a mischievous grin as he pulled me back down with him.

"Why would you ever think I'd pull any funny business?" He joked, and I rolled my eyes with a smile. He smelled good. Damn him for smelling so good but being technically off limits.

"You know, it would be a shame to waste this alone time, if you asked me," Ashton commented casually, and I tsked at him.

"You should have thought about that before you decided not to talk with Eli," I retorted, picking my head up to raise my eyebrows at him stubbornly.

"So I guess I'm just gonna have to do this the old fashioned way then, huh?" He had a little sparkle of challenge in his eyes that made my heart beat a little faster. I hoped he couldn't feel it.

His hand had been on my back, but he slowly slid it down to my thigh, gently yet firmly. My breath hitched ever so slightly and I cursed myself for already letting my unwavering stubbornness falter. His other hand came up to brush my bottom lip with his thumb.

Okay.. maybe I underestimated his seductions skills. But he underestimated mine, too. And I was the one who had the upper hand here, not him.

Knowing that I might give in to kissing him right then and there if I didn't move, I reached up and pushed him fully onto his back, straddling him one moment later. He raised his eyebrows at me, thinking that his charms had already worked.

I smiled and bit my lip, leaning down as his hands gripped my outer thighs. My lips lingered above the skin on his neck, and I felt him subconsciously shift slightly to lean into me, wanting me to go the extra inch. I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, more of a rumble in my chest than anything.

I pulled back up to see his unsatisfied face and put my hands through in his hair. I did love his hair.

"The things I'd do to you if you had only talked with him," I smirked and let my hands slide down to his chest, purposely making my voice lower. His mouth was slightly ajar.

"You're evil," his voice was deep and he no longer wore that mischievous smile. I let out another laugh as I rolled off of him stood up from my bed, walking over to the closet to change into more comfortable clothes. I made sure he was able to watch as I did this.

Damn, I was evil, wasn't I? Whatever- it was fun.

I finished changing one of his T-shirts- with nothing underneath- and turned back around, he looked up from my body to my face, clear want apparent. I looked back with a playful expression.

Why did I feel kind of bad?? But in an evil, 'look at all this power I have' sort of way. Was I a terrible person? Eh, who knows.

"I warned you I was going to do this, and you didn't think I'd be able to," I reminded him, remembering why I was doing this and walking back over to him. "It wasn't going to be this bad until you poked at my ego." I sat on top of him again. "Did you forget how alike we are?"

"Do you understand how much you're poking at my ego right now?" He spoke, and his eyes moved across my face. I bit my lip when I knew he was looking there, causing him to look back up at my eyes and shoot me a glare.

"I thought I was easily flustered?" I tilted my head, quoting him. He rolled his eyes.

"You are easily flustered."

"And you aren't?"

"I never said anything about me," he looked back at me and I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to tell if this was just him trying to get me to give in or not.

I wasn't gonna lie... it was definitely possible, but he didn't need to know that.

"How about this. If you promise to talk to Eli tomorrow, perhaps I can do some things. But if you break that promise it's officially abstinence hour for you until I decide otherwise.. probably after break." It was a lie, a total lie. I had to admit to myself that I couldn't hold off that long, but in his distracted state right now he didn't really think about that obvious fact.

"I don't want to talk to him," he said haphazardly, his mind clearly elsewhere as my hands moved lower and lower on his his chest, and then down his abs.

"Then I guess you're out of luck," I leaned back into him, bringing his ear gently between my teeth before planting a kiss below it. He shuddered under me, and I grinned again and pulled back.

"You suck," he groaned, gripping my waist and drawing in another breath.

"On the contrary, my friend. That is, unless..." I twisted his words, making him roll his eyes again.

"I have two classes tomorrow night, I can't talk to him," he protested, and I stopped his hands as they began feeling up my shirt.

"Off limits at the moment," I mused, and he grunted, pulling away his hands and bringing them to his forehead in annoyance. I chuckled. "You're not appreciating the fact that I'm giving you an out. Just talk to him tomorrow."

He didn't say anything as I moved myself farther down on the bed, not breaking eye contact. I let my hands feel up his shirt as I hovered above the band of his sweatpants. I leaned down and kissed along the bottom of his abs, feeling him shift under me again.

He pushed some hair out of my face and I let his hand stay in my hair as I grinned, knowing I would obliterate him with this next part. My hands felt along to the line of his sweatpants, my fingers tracing along his no-doubt now tingling skin.

I lowered my head to be right above his, you know, and then pulled his sweatpants down about an inch, before letting them slide them back up. Despite being slightly taken aback by my own confidence, I moved my hand to the fabric on his crotch, and he groaned in absolute desire, his head falling backwards momentarily before his eyes returned to burning into mine.

I met his fire with fire, staring back into his eyes with a truly mischievous glint in them, my mouth open slightly and the corner of my lips upturned. My hand stayed there as I brought me face back up to his.

"I thought you would have known my now to take my threats seriously... Its a shame, to be honest. I was sort of in the mood to make you forget your own name tonight," I whispered right above his face, keeping our faces apart when he tried to bring his lips to mine. I cracked an evil grin as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

As my last big move, I palmed him gently one more time before shifting my position to slowly grind my front against his, my hands moving up underneath his shirt before I dragged my nails back down his skin. He let out a deep noise, and I bit my lip to hold in my chuckle, enjoying this a bit too much, if I was being honest. But whatever- what was the point of having a boyfriend if you couldn't play with them a little bit once in a while.

"You don't have to seduce me to make me want to fuck you, you know," he glared at me, his hands resting on my hips and squeezing slightly. "You said you wouldn't sleep with me, not torture me."

"Where's the fun in that?" I smirked and brought my lips to his just once, softly biting his bottom lip and releasing a moment later. He let out another little unsatisfied groan. "Mmm," I kept my lips right above his, "It really is a shame, I like when you're riled up like this." I finished and immediately pulled away, rolling off of him and facing away to lie down next to him. I felt him shift behind me as I lay on my side.

"Sweet dreams, Ash," I mused, reaching up and turning off the lights. In the dark, I could hear his slightly rasped breathing and the shifting bed as he pressed himself onto me. It could have been mistaken for innocent spooning if it hadn't also been for a certain something also pressing onto me through his sweatpants.

I concentrated everything in me on trying to keep steady breaths as he brought his hand to my waist, feeling under the shirt and gripping my skin with his rough, yet still somewhat soft, hand.

I was struggling not to shudder as his hand found its way to one of my breasts, his arm wrapped completely around my waist in order to allow him to do this, which was igniting my core. This whole time I knew that if he had been doing the same stuff to me that I was doing to him I would have been an absolute goner. I guess I had just been hoping he wouldn't- but who was I kidding. We were too alike sometimes.

I let out a breath as his other hand moved up an brought my hair away from my neck, allowing him to plant a slow kiss on my sensitive skin. His hand lingered in my hair for a few moments before moving back down to partially wrap around my neck from the side.

"You never said anything about what I couldn't do," his voice rumbled seductively in my ear and despite myself, I let out the smallest breath of a whimper as his hand continued feeling me up in the front, his lips returning to my neck.

He kissed below my ear has his hand moved higher to grip my breast, and I found myself leaning back into him, feeling his body tight up against mine. We were both breathing a little louder than before as he continued making me feel this way. I bit my lip hard in efforts to resist turning around and kissing him with everything I had.

His hand finally traveled lower lower, and he teased me for a bit before beginning to move his fingers in the most sensational way. My back arched against his chest, my bottom half pushing up against his sweatpants even more as my head moved back far enough that it now touched his shoulder on the pillow. He took this as an opportunity to kiss along my jaw line as my breathing got shakier and shakier.

My hand, which had originally been under my head to help me pretend to sleep, came up and rested on Ashton's neck from behind, half to pull him closer to me and half to just feel his presence in another part of my body.

He was excruciatingly good at this.

I knew I was a goner when the first soft moan escaped my lips, but I could tell he still thought I wasn't going to give in. I let him continue, wrapping my legs through his from behind and taking in all of the wild sensations he was sparking in me.

"You'll talk to him this week?" I rasped.

"I promise," he replied, his voice so deep in his chest that the sound of it alone caused me to arch a little more into him.

"Okay," was all the words I could manage to form in my mind.

In an instant, he pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me, holding me in place and locking our lips aggressively. A low noise rumbled from within him as he slid the shirt off of me and returned his lips to mine, kissing down my neck and chest a moment later.

My head fell backwards as his hands felt over me and his mouth moved to my breasts. I wrapped my legs around him and dug my fingers slightly into his back.

My breathing was thick and heavy as he kissed down my stomach and to the spot he had just been stimulating with his fingers. I held in my moan as he held my wrists down on the bed next to me and went on, making me feel electricity everywhere.

He was riled up, all right..

He let go of my wrists to keep my legs pressed open with his hands as he continued on, and I moved my hands to his hair, gripping it as my body arched and practically shook. A few moments later, he leaned up and pulled me to the middle of the bed effortlessly before finishing the job he had started between my legs.

He had stripped and put on a condom faster than I had ever seen him do before, and returned his lips to mine before gently sliding into me- contrasting his aggressive eagerness from right before. He breathed heavily, swearing under his breath, and I brought his face down to kiss him again, moaning softly into his mouth.

His mouth moved back down to my neck as he picked up the pace a bit, causing me to let out another whimper of pleasure. My hands tangled in his hair as he lingered on the really sensitive part of my neck that he knew about. He breathed out my name against my skin.

He held me down again as he picked up the pace a little more, and my features morphed into an expression of pure pleasure and want as he rasped another low sound. A few minutes later I pulled him down so that I was now on top.

"My turn," I rasped out, and repositioned him under me, immediately moving on top of him. He let out a deep noise that drove me farther, and his hands squeezed my hips, subconsciously helping to guide me as I went on.

A while later he was back on top of me, pinning me down in a way that had me arching my back and holding back a cry of utmost pleasure.

"I love you," his voice was deep and husky as he gazed down at me intensely.

"I love you," I breathed out, thoroughly wrapped up in the overwhelming sensations of him having complete control over me.

And it was a good thing that Ali was gone that whole night.

• • •

Hey guys!! Oop- gettin steamy.. I see you two rascals..

QOTD: Where are you from??

>>> Boston :)

Stay beautiful,
Briella<3