VI
• • •

        My eyes shot open in a panic as my heart pounded out of my chest. I quickly calmed down when I realized I was in my bed.

I had had another nightmare, but it wasn't nearly as intense as the last one. I looked over to Ali's bed as I tried to slow my breathing down. Thankfully my reaction hadn't been enough to wake her up.

I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes, which were unexpectedly wet with tears. Covered in sweat,  I pulled my blankets off of me in efforts to cool down.

I laid there restlessly for what seemed like an eternity, running the dream over and over again in my head. That was always the worst part about my nightmares- the fact that I never forgot them.

Most dreams fade away after you wake up from them, but never my nightmares. Back in the height of my nightmares it was honestly hard for me to tell what was real and what wasn't.

Even though I was now aware of what was a dream and what was a reality, all my nightmares still lingered in my mind and haunted me whenever they got the chance.

I had woken up from my nightmare at 3 am, and it wasn't until 6 am that I decided to finally give up on trying to sleep.

I slugged out of bed, took a long shower, brushed my teeth, and headed back to the room to get ready for the day ahead of me. Ali still hadn't woken up as I sat in front of a mirror and applied makeup, the sun beginning to light up the room.

"Well shit, you're up early," Ali said as she woke up.

"Yeah, I couldn't really sleep," I told her, drinking some more coffee.

"Well, do you have any classes today?" She asked, sitting up.

"Nope.. which now I don't know why I did my makeup," I realized, confused at my own actions. She chuckled.

"I don't either. Do you wanna have a girls day? We can get your mind off whatever's been bothering you- and I know somethings been bothering you so don't try to deny it," she said. I looked over gave her a small smile.

"Am I that easy to read?" I asked.

"Kinda," She scrunched her nose and I chuckled.

"That sounds great, thanks Al," I replied and smiled again.

"Of course- gimme a little while to get ready, though.. not all of us are morning freaks like you."

We spent the whole day shopping at random stores and drinking shitty iced coffee... and it honestly was really nice.

"This was really fun.. I think I blew through last week's pay check, though," I said as we pulled into the dorm lot.

"Well, as my mom always says, money spent on cute clothes is money well spent," she replied, putting the car in park.

We had decided to swing by the dorms to drop off all our things and freshen up a little bit before meeting up with her friends.

"It's gonna be awkward if they don't like me," I said as we got in the car again to head over.

"They'll love you, trust me," she replied, turning on the car and pulling out of our space.

It took us a little while to get there, but we eventually got to the house.

"They don't live in dorms?" I asked as we parked.

"Nah, they all chipped in and rented this place out for a while. It's basically a shack so it ended up being pretty damn cheap," she explained before opening her door. We both got out and walked around to the front of the car. She gave me a big smile and started walking, me following beside her.

"Loosen up, this is gonna be fun," she said to me as we approached the door. Instead of knocking, she just opened the door and walked in. Everyone was sitting in the living room in front of the tv on various worn-out couches and chairs. When they looked up at us, excitement exploded around the room.

"WHATS UP BITCH?!!" one of the boys with a high-pitched voice yelled and ran over to Ali, bringing her into a hug. "Your makeup snapped tonight girl," he told her after they pulled away.

"Gotta look my best for you, Tommyboy," she replied with an eye roll and a chuckle before turning to face me.

"I'm Crystal," I told him with a smile.

"And you're flawless- Ali you didn't tell me how amazing her skin was." He said over to her and we both chuckled.

"Sorry, must have left that detail out by accident," she responded sarcastically before walking over to hug the rest of the group.

"My name's Tom, but I really hate that name so everyone calls me Ace," he said and brought me in for a hug.

"Nice to meet you, Ace," I told him before we got to the rest of the group.

"Hey, I'm Crystal," I greeted them all when I got there. They looked up and me with welcoming smiles and all said their names- which were Tyson, Gabby, Pat, and Jules.

"So what movie are we watching?" Ali asked excitedly, grabbing the popcorn out of Ace's hands as we plopped down on one of the couches.

"It was a controversial decision, buttt we finally decided on the original Scream," Tyson said, turning on the tv. I felt the color drain from my face. I turned to Ali.

"I really don't do well with horror movies," I whispered to her. I didn't want to ruin their movie night, especially as a guest, but I also didn't want to risk anything.

"Oh, uh, well Scream isn't even scary cuz it's so old. I should know- they've made me watch it a bunch by now," she said back. I appreciated her trying to help me through it, but she didn't understand.

"I just like, really can't handle gory shit.. it freaks me out," I told her again, my heart beating pretty fast. She nodded and faced the group.

"We've seen this movie so many goddamn times, why can't we watch something else? I'm not in the mood for this terrible movie again," She said. My heart warmed a little at her action.

"Ali, if we had it your way then we'd be watching some British reality TV show," Tyson came back at her.

"I mean, they are the best reality TV shows," Ace pointed out.

"Thank you!" Ali gestured to Ace, agreeing with him.

"Sorry Ali, you got here late and therefore forfeited your movie vote. I wish it was different but I don't make the rules," Tyson spoke again. Clearly they all had put rules in place for movie nights- that being one of them.

"Whatever, you guys are losers," she told them all.

"Takes one to know one-"

"Shut up, Pat," she cut him off. "Your middle name is literally 'loser' in Arabic."

"HAHAHA. I forgot about that," Ace boomed out, taking a piece of popcorn and throwing it at Pat. "Loser."

I normally would have been laughing at this exchange as it went on, but I was still worried about the movie. Ali noticed this and laced her arm through mine as we were sat down next to each other on the couch.

"It'll be okay, I'll be right here the whole time," she gave me a reassuring smile. I decided to give it up and hesitantly smiled back.

I really appreciated her caring and trying to help me through it, but she had no idea what actually could happen. Not that I blame her- PTSD from someone's brother killing their father isn't exactly the first thing people think of when someone tells them they don't like scary movies..

I tried to keep my breathing steady as they turned off the lights and started the movie.

For the first part of the movie, I was fine. Knowing when to close my eyes was pretty easy and predictable.

Until the one time it wasn't.

My eyes stayed opened wide as I stared at the TV. He kept stabbing as blood was flying everywhere. Everyone was laughing at the shitty special effects, but I felt myself growing paralyzed.

My breathing quickened and my heart pounded as I watched, but I couldn't look away for some reason. I thought I felt a tear fall from my wide open eyes.

Even though the effects were shitty, everything else was realistic. They way that he stabbed relentlessly even though his victim was already dead.. the way the knife looked as it stabbed the different parts of her.

Once the images started flashing, I immediately closed my eyes and stood up, dizzily walking outside and leaning up against the house for stability. I heard the front door open and close again after a few moments.

"Crystal, hun what's wrong?? Are you okay?" Ali asked and came over to me, concerned. I continued to breath heavily, trying to formulate the ability to speak.

"I-it's like-e," I stuttered out, "p-ptsd from-m my dad-" I stopped talking.

"Your dad? What happened? Well- you don't have to tell me now obviously, but, I'm really sorry.. if I had known this could have happened I-"

"N-no. I'm s-sorry. I'm r-really sorry," I told her, genuinely sorry for ruining the night.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," she leaned up against the side of the wall next to me. I liked that she hadn't tried to hug me.. the last thing I wanted to be right then was hugged.

"This is s-so embarrassing," I said, my voice coming out as a whisper. "I'm sorry."

"Girl, if you say sorry one more time I'm gonna make you sorry.. you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of," she started. "My dad served in the army.. I know a thing or two about PTSD," she gave me a reassuring smile. "I could drive us back, or you could take my car if you're okay to driv-"

"No- no it's fine," I cut her off with a fake smile, still shaking. "I want you to finish the movie with your friends. I'll call Ashton to see where he is and wait in the car for him."

She still looked concerned, but gave me a small smile. She brought me in for a hug, but it was short enough that it didn't spike my anxiety. When she pulled away she looked me in the eyes.

"You're sure?" She asked.

"Completely," I insisted with another fake smile. I didn't know how much longer I could stay standing there without falling apart.

"Okay.. luv ya. Text me when you're with Ashton so I know you're safe," she told me and hesitantly started walking back to the door.

"Okay m-mom," I tried to joke. She chuckled, but I didn't feel any trace of amusement. I felt relieved once she was gone, and stumbled over to the car. Once I was inside I relocked the doors.

I thought about every breath in and out as I was shaking profusely. My head continued to pound with my rapid heartbeat.

It felt like hours of a hurricane happening in my mind, but I eventually calmed down. My sight had returned to normal, as well as my breathing and thoughts. I was still shaking, though. I tried not to drop my phone as I called Ashton.

"Hey," he picked up. I could hear he was in a car. The sound of his voice made me press the phone closer to my ear.

"Hey, where are you?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"Are you crying??" He asked, concerned.

"Well, I mean, that's a relative question.." I tried to avoid answering.

"Crystal."

"Okay, fine, maybe I got a little triggered- but it's fine it was just a stupid little episode it doesn't even matter-"

"Yes, it does matter.. why are you acting like you're in trouble or something?" He asked, confused.

"I'm not- I just don't want to be dramatic about it or anything. I'll be fine." I replied.

"Crystal, I've said a million times that you don't have to pretend to be fine-"

"Sorry but, uh, where are you? Cuz I need to be picked up and I don't want you to have to turn back around to get me," I interjected, changing the topic. He sighed.

"I just got back from dropping Jake off at the house. I was planning on heading over to ur place now so I'd be there when you got back," he answered.

"Okay, um, I'm gonna send you my location and can you pick me up?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied, "only if we can go to that good burger place on the way to your college." A small smile found it's way to my lips at this comment.

"Deal."

"Alright, see you in a few," he said and hung up.

I had pretty much stopped shaking by the time we were finished on the phone. I closed my eyes and continued to breath in through my nose and out through my mouth.

He must not have been that far, because it didn't take very long for him to arrive. When I saw the familiar black car pull up, I smiled and got out of the car.

I jogged over to the passengers seat and hopped in, immediately grabbing the sides of his face and bringing my lips to his. He kissed me back and then we both pulled away.

"I missed you," I told him truthfully.

"Not as much as I've missed you," he replied.

"You've gotten so cheesy and I love it," I teased, squeezing his cheek. He swatted my hand away and I chuckled.

"You keep saying that, I'm gonna have to start being an absolute asshole to you," he said, putting the car in drive and pulling away from the house.

"Like the good-old-days?" I joked.

"Exactly like the good-old-days."

"I'm starving," I commented randomly.

"Same," he agreed.

I texted Ali, then we listened to music and had random banter until we got to the burger place.

"I'm so goddamn excited for these," Ashton all but skipped too the door and I chuckled at him.

"You should dump me and date these burgers instead, with how excited you're getting," I joked.

"If I could, I would." He told me and I laughed, hitting his arm as we stepped up to order.

• • •

Hey guyss

Sorry this update took so long- remote classes are killing me :(

I'll be treating you guys a lot this week to make up for it though ;)

QOTD: What zodiac sign are you, and do you feel like you match the typical stereotypes of your sign??

>>> I'm a Gemini, and yes!! 100%. Pretty much any stereotypical Gemini trait that you could think of accurately describes me.

Be safe and wash yo damn hands!

Stay beautiful,
Briella<3