XV
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        The birds are what I heard first as I woke up from my deep sleep. They were chirping happily, blissfully enjoying their simple bird lives. My eyelids felt heavy as I slowly opened them, revealing the glow of the sun through the window in front of me.

Ashton's arm was still draped over my waist as he remained sleeping next to me. I tried my hardest to carefully move Ashton's arm off of me so that I could get up without waking him up, but alas, I failed.

Practically as soon as I touched his hand he began to stir, and I sighed softly to myself when I realized I woke him up. He brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes, before running them through his hair. He looked over at me and gave me a small smile, which I returned.

"Sorry I woke you up, I gotta get better at that," I said.

"No one else I'd rather have wake me up," he responded with a chuckle in his morning voice, before leaning up and bringing me back down onto the bed with him. I giggled at the mini-tackle. "Can we just stay in bed though for a little?" He asked, still holding onto me.

"I'd love to, but I'd also love to eat food.. I'm starving," I told him, and I looked over to see him sigh.

"Fine, fine you're right," he gave in, "I guess we do have a lot to do today."

"Yeah," I felt the weight in my chest setting back in again. "Yeah, I do," I finished, dreading everything.

"Welp, I'll be here if you need a good distraction," he said, and I rolled my eyes at him before pushing myself off the bed.

"I'll keep the offer in mind," I responded sarcastically with a smile.

"I think Layla's making breakfast," Ashton commented, and then I smelled the bacon also. I smiled and did a mini happy-dance, before going into the bathroom and quickly showering and brushing my teeth.

By the time I was out, everyone was in the kitchen and had just started eating. I saw Ashton talking to Jake, making him laugh. Layla was talking to Connor, and I felt a small smile make its way to my face. We all had fucked up families.. but together we were our own family.

"Morning guys," I said when I sat down in the seat next to Ashton, grabbing some bacon.

"Morning," Layla smiled up at me, "Now that you're both here, I have a proposition," she said to me and Ashton. We looked at each other, neither of us sure of what she was going to say, before we turned our attention back to her.

"So there's this cute little farm stand across town that gives free apples to families on Sundays and I've always really really wanted to go and get the free-family-apples but I've never really been able to cuz, ya know, I'm sort of lacking the family part of that equation.. but now that you guys are here I figured you could maybe pretend to be these little guys' parents and get the apples and I can indulge in them once you get them- I'll be watching from the car in awe.. so, what do you think? Fun event to get our minds off of things?" She finished.

She had a look in her eyes of innocence... but not of innocence itself, however. It was more of a longing for innocence, like she had always seen this farm stand as a blissful journey to a place of peace. A place of innocent fun and laughter and joy that we all strove for now that we were older. Layla had had this innocent, naive happiness stripped from her at too young of an age.

And while I had a lot of shit I had to do, I for some reason wouldn't be able to stand myself if I didn't do this small act for her. With her.

"Of course! We're in," I responded with a smile and looked over at Ashton, who nodded, eating his bacon and going with the flow.

"Oh my gosh really?! I know it probably sounds weird and irrelevant but trust me it'll be amazing," she said. "Thank you guys."

"Of course- that's what family's for," I commented, and the look on her face showed me that what I had said really resonated with her.

"By the way, Lay, this food is damn good," Ashton complimented her breakfast, and I 'mm'ed in agreement.

"Thanks, I'm training to be a sugar-baby," she joked, standing up and grabbing her and jakes plates to start cleaning up.

"Ha ha. Funny," Ashton responded, and I chuckled. Once Layla was over by the sink, I turned to face Ashton.

"I think I'm gonna just bite the bullet and go to my mom's like now," I told him, clearly dreading it. He rubbed my knee reassuringly.

"Hey, everything is going to be okay," he told me, and I acted like I believed him, nodding with a small smile.

"Yeah, well, I definitely need some coffee before I can attest to that," I replied and stood up to get myself some.

After chugging the cup of coffee I poured, I got changed into actual clothes and grabbed Ashton's keys from his desk before making my way back downstairs.

"I'm gonna head out now- and hey what's that other car in the driveway?" I asked over to where Layla and Ashton were sitting.

"Oh, that's Eli's old car. It's temporarily mine for the crashing," Layla responded, and I chuckled to myself. Jake and Connor were in the other room, so I made my way over to them two.

"Hey guys! Connor and I are gonna go in a little road trip, and we'll be back in a little while, is that okay?" I said when I knelt down in front of them.

"Yes, can we do this with you first though," Jake said back up to me, and I smiled at them as they proceeded to go patty-cake with each other. "See it's easy we can show you," he added, reaching out and pulling my hands upwards. I chuckled.

"This looks so fun!" I went along with it, purposely messing up from time to time as they tried to teach me to make them laugh. It was a solid 20 minutes before Connor and I left Jake, but they were 20 minutes well-spent.

"I'll be back in a bit," I told Ashton as I held Connor's hand to lead him out.

"Wait up," Ashton yelled over to me from the couch, hopping off and joining me as I walked out the front door. We stood outside as he continued on.

"Are you sure you wanna go by yourself? Because I have absolutely zero problem coming with you and waiting in the car- for hours, even. I don't want you to feel like you're doing this alone," he offered sincerely, and I felt a genuine smile work it's way into my lips.

"I don't," I responded truthfully, leaning up and planting a sweet kiss on his lips. We smiled at each other for a moment before I began heading towards the car again. "Love ya!"

"Love you, too," he responded, heading back inside and closing the door behind him.

Ashton had recently revealed to me that his car had been his fathers, and that's both how he had such a nice car, and why he cared about it so deeply. For a moment I had felt bad about all the times I fake-threatened it for daily leverage, but then I realized that those times were part of why Ashton fell in love with me.

Alright, tangent over. Back to reality.

When I buckled Connor into the car seat, which was Jake's old one from when he was younger, I noticed that he had no idea what was about to happen and who he was about to meet. The happy, colorful dinosaur stickers that lined the car seat didn't go along with this deceivingly solemn occasion.

I didn't listen to any music on the way to my mom's, I couldn't take it. Over the past few months I'd been able to listen to music in my car and I had been happy with that growth.. but not today. I let myself absorb the anxious atmosphere in the car, reveling in the undeniable feeling of dread as I grew closer and closer to the house.

Connor stared outside the window basically the entire car ride. In my psychology course, we had covered a little bit of post traumatic stress disorders in children... and although I was in no position to diagnose him, he certainly displayed all of the signs.

It felt like a century later, but I finally arrived at the house and pulled into the driveway, shutting the car off and emerging us into an even quieter silence.

"Where are we?" Connor asked from the back. I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to face him with a small smile.

"You're gonna meet your grandma," I told him, and he looked confused.

"I don't have grandmas or grandpas," he countered, and I felt myself frown.

"You have one, sweetie," I replied, "and she's my mommy, too."

"Oh," he responded, still not really grasping the concept. Taking deep breaths, I opened my car door and got out, hoping that my mother hadn't seen me yet through a window or something. Opening the back door, I reached in and unbuckled Connor, lifting him up and out of the car.

Once I had let him into the ground, he immediately took my hand in his. I gently patted his head as we began walking. I hesitantly rang the doorbell once we were at the front door, and I prayed that my mother hadn't relapsed and was intoxicated right now.

"Crystal, I didn't know you were-" she began happily after opening the door, before her eyes panned down to Connor. Her face fell in slight confusion, "who's this little guy? He looks familiar, have I met him before?" She knelt down in front of him and smiled.

"Mom," I started, tears in my eyes as she looked back up at me, more serious than before. "John had a kid."

* * *

• Ashton's POV •

"Layla!" I called to her from the couch, too lazy to get up and go to the other room.

"What!?" She yelled back, equally as lazy.

"Eli and Kevin are gonna come over for a bit, is that cool with you?!" I replied, giving her a heads up.

"Of course- I'm getting bored of you, anyway!" She answered, and I chuckled to myself.

Crystal has filled Eli and Kevin in on everything, and they decided to come by to visit for the night. They kept insisting that they wanted to help Crystal feel better and get her mind off of things, but I knew that they were also worried about me.

And even though I'd never let them know, having them two looking out for me like that makes my heart feel so much better.

When they arrived, Kevin decided to skip the doorbell and try to open the front door. When it was locked, he began to yodel to let them in. Eli must have shut him up, cuz when I finally made my way to the door he had stopped. When I opened the door, we greeted each other and they came inside.

"Love what you've done with the place, Ash. Maybe you have a future in interior design," Kevin told me, patting me on the shoulder and hopping down onto the couch.

I hadn't done anything with the place, though, is the thing.

As they started talking, I went into the kitchen to get us some drinks. Layla had walked in at the same time, sipping a glass of water. As I grabbed our drinks, I glanced over her outfit.

"Did you change?" I asked, opening my lemonade and taking a sip.

"Oh- this? Pfft, nah, I just threw something on.. I hadn't changed in a few days, so," she lied, pretty apparently, might I add. I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion.

"Weird," I judged her, "they're here, by the way," I told her, beginning to head back to the other room.

"Yeah, I heard Kevin's beautiful yodeling earlier serenading us," she replied, and I chuckled.

"Ah, you know me so well," Eli said up to me as he took the beer, "thanks."

"LayLay! What's up?" Kevin greeted Layla as she entered behind me. I handed him a beer and sat down on the couch.

"Sup, Kev," she smiled at him, plopping down on the love seat.

"Hey Layla," Eli smiled over to her.

"Hey," she replied, mirroring his smile.

"Alrighty, so what's the plan?" Kevin asked the group, and we shrugged.

"Well, first thing's first- snacks," Layla started, and Eli nodded in agreement.

"I like your thinking," Kevin added.

"Okay, so, should we go to the store, then?" I promoted, and everyone shrugged and nodded.

"JAKE!!" Kevin hollered from next to me, all-but-bursting my ear drum. I flinched and shot him a look. When Jake trotted down the stairs and saw Kevin, he immediately ran over to him and they did their weird little handshake they made up. Fellow toddlers doing their thing.

"What's up little dude??" Eli chimed in, and Jake did the same thing with him. I rolled my eyes and them and stood up.

"Let's go," I said and began walking to the door. Once we were outside, I locked the door behind us, and turned to see them all arguing about who was going to drive.

"Okay fine but can I at least drive then?" Eli said back to the group. Jake was just watching them all and giggling. I couldn't help but smile a little at Jake's expression.

"Fine, whatever, but I get shotgun," Layla responded and jogged over to the passenger seat of her, or should I say Eli's, car.

Kevin, Jake, and I were all sitting in the back. Annoyed that I didn't get shotgun, I kept pushing on Layla's seat the whole way there. Kevin sang along with the country song that was in the radio and I cringed, hating the affect he was putting on his voice to make it twangy.

"Alright, thank fuck," I sighed when we arrived at the store and turned the car off, putting an end to the music and Kevin's nonsensical noises. "I guess we'll run in real quick and you two can stay here, I don't even know why we all came," I said to Eli and Layla.

Jake, Kevin, and I hopped out of the car and began making our way into the store.

"We look like a cute couple right now," Kevin said over to me and pretended to lean in for a kiss. I rolled my eyes and pushed his face away, almost knocking him over.

We got a variety of snacks, some I knew Crystal loved, some Kevin loved, and a few random things in between. Layla had asked for Coke, but I got her Diet Pepsi out of spite... she had taken my white sweatshirt without asking and then got a big ketchup stain on it.

Jake asked for some stuff here and there, and I couldn't really say no. I didn't necessarily have the money to be splurging on snacks, but it hurt a little too much in the moment to have to say 'no' to him over something small that I should've been able to afford.

When we got back to the car, I instantly noticed the awkward, tense vibe in the car. I furrowed my brows, wondering what had happened while we were in the store.

"The energy in this car is really weird right now," Kevin commented once we had all buckled and Eli began to pull out of the space.

"Are you guys good?" I asked, slightly chuckling at the two of them's weird aura.

"Yep." They both answered quickly and at the same time.

"Well, I'm convinced," Kevin joked over to me, and I chuckled.

"Can we get ice cream?!" Jake yelled as we passed the ice cream place.

"Oooooooh yeah!"
"Yes yes yes!"

Layla and Kevin joined in simultaneously, and I rolled my eyes.

"We'll get it later, kids," I answered sarcastically and Eli laughed.

Even though this was to help Crystal through this, it was also helping me get my mind off of things. It kind of showed that mutual-healing thing we always have going for us.

"I'll text Scarlett and Vanah to see where they're at," Kevin told us and I nodded before looking out the window.

The worst things really happen to the best people, don't they.

• • •

Hey guys!!!

Hope you all had a fantabulous day. THIS IS A DEEP QUESTION but,

QOTD: What is something that you want more people to know about yourself, but are lowkey scared to tell people??

>>> I'm bisexual tehe :)  I'm not ashamed at all but I get scared of hurting relationships I have and whatnot.

Be safe and wash yo goddamn hands!

Stay positively beautiful,
Briella<3