THIRTY-EIGHT: HOPE

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It was Monday, the first of August, which meant that there was only one month of summer remaining. Hope was unsure how she felt about that. On the one hand, she was excited for school to start again. She had been counting down the days until her final year of high school for as long as she could remember, and now, it was finally arriving. A new chapter in her life. She couldn't wait.

But then there was the other half of her, the half that was enjoying summer break and church camp, and most of all, Faith. She felt as though summer was infinitely theirs. They didn't have to abide by rules or schedules. They were free to do as they pleased, whatever they liked, whenever they liked. They could go down to the lake and sit by the water. They could sit underneath the night sky, counting stars and avoiding discussions about the future.

Hope had this growing pit in her stomach. A fear that once the school year arrived, things would be drastically different for the two of them.

Another day at camp had passed before her eyes, and Hope was on her way home, walking in a daze. It was only when her neighbor called out to her that she looked up, stunned, and snapped herself back into reality. Perhaps she was preoccupied with thoughts of school. Or perhaps she was out of it due to the fact that Faith had officially left church camp.

It was a decision that she had made the night before, after talking with her mother. It was Claudia, after all, who was forcing Faith to attend the camp, mostly with the intention for her daughter to make friends and be social. After their "moment" – as Faith liked to call it – on Saturday night, Faith had a sit-down talk with her mother and asked her respectfully if she could leave camp. She had been there for one month, she explained, and she even made a friend. Faith believed that she had a solid proposal. And sure enough, Claudia agreed, saying that she was proud of Faith, allowing her to do whatever she desired for the remaining half of the summer.

Faith was ecstatic beyond belief. But Hope, on the other hand, was feeling the downfall. Church camp was her one guaranteed time to see Faith each and every day. It had become yet another constant in her life. Sure, they could always see each other afterwards and hang out as they had been doing for the past few weeks. Nonetheless, Hope couldn't shake the dissatisfied feeling that Faith's departure from church camp gave her. As though a part of her had left. And not just left – willingly decided to leave.

Hope knew she shouldn't take it personally. Faith wasn't even religious. Hope knew she didn't enjoy the camp, yet still, there was a part of her that wanted Faith to withstand it and attend regardless. It was selfish of Hope. She just wanted to see Faith as much as she was able. Was that so wrong?

Hope walked into the kitchen and was greeted by her mother, who was cutting up snacks and preparing drinks for the men out back. Gabriel, Matthew's father, and a few others were cutting down one of the trees that sat at the back of their yard. It causes too much shade, her father had said. It needed to come down.

"How's it going up there?" Hope called out to her father, who was standing on a ladder, a saw in his hand.
"Hi, Hope," Gabriel looked down at her. "Good good. We should be done shortly."
"Got most of it down here anyway," Matthew's father gestured to the yard around them, which was covered with large tree branches.
"Mom's preparing some refreshments," Hope said. "You should come in soon. Take a break."
"We're almost finished. We'll come in when we're done."
"Alright," Hope gave the men a wave and headed back inside.

She wandered over to the counter and picked a few grapes out of the bowl that her mother had set to the side. She grabbed the stool and took a seat, fiddling with the glass in front of her. She watched her mother at the counter, cutting cheese slices, slicing strawberries.

"What did you think of Faith's mom?" Hope asked suddenly. "You two seemed to be getting along well."
"I like her. She's a lovely woman. Been through a lot, but she's a tough one."
"Did she say much about Faith?"
"A bit," Joana said. "Just how Faith wasn't happy about the move."
"But she's doing better now," Hope said. "I think she likes it here."
"That's good. I'm glad." She smiled at Hope, then returned her gaze downwards and sliced another strawberry in half. "Oh, she also mentioned that we should join them for dinner sometime."
"Mrs. Everett?"
"Yes. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Oh yes," Hope said. "That would be wonderful."
"I told her you'd say that," Joana smiled. "You two get along so well. It makes me happy."
"Me and Faith?"
"Yes. I'm glad you've found a close friend that you can count on."
Hope was quiet for a moment. Thoughts swirled in her mind. Kissing Faith. Holding Faith's hand. Hushed whispers and kept secrets.
"Yeah," Hope finally said. "Me too."

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