FORTY-FIVE: FAITH

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By Saturday evening, Faith was willing and ready to go out and be social for the night. All she needed was some alcohol in her system.

Sebastian sat on her bed, watching her as she tilted the bottle of vodka to her lips. She made a face and grabbed for the can of soda that sat on the dresser beside her. Hope had a point – alcohol was used as a reliant. But Faith didn't care. She loved alcohol. She loved the feeling of being drunk. She loved having fun. When she was sober, she felt different. At least when she had alcohol in her body she could let loose and not care what anyone thought. Alcohol was good. Alcohol was fun.

Sebastian took a swig from the bottle, then handed it back to her. "Whose party did you say this was again?"
"Some guy named Eric," Faith said. "I mean Luke. I think."
"You don't even know?"
"He's Hope's friend, not mine."
"And you're sure we're good to go?"
"Of course. We're always good."

They found the house with ease. It was the only one on the street with music blaring and teenagers piling out the front door. Faith stayed close to Sebastian and held his hand in hers. My crutch, she thought to herself. But I no longer need a crutch.

The moment they walked through the front door, Faith immediately felt a comfortable sense of familiarity. Since she had arrived in Meadow, it was as though everything had been foreign to her. The quietness. The churches. The quaintness of it all. But walking into that house party sparked something inside of her. She was in her element. She felt like she belonged.

Faith instantly made her way to the kitchen and began filling a red solo-cup with fruit punch. People were scattered around the house, sitting on the sofa, playing drinking games. More people were gathered out back around the bonfire. She smiled to herself as she surveyed her environment. This was perfect.

"Faith!" she heard that familiar voice and turned around.
"Hope, hey! And Matthew, hello."
"When did you get here?" Hope asked her.
"Just a few minutes ago. You?"
"We just arrived," Hope smiled. "Where's Sebastian?"
"Uh," Faith looked around. "He was just here. I don't know where he went."
Hope laughed. "Been here not even five minutes and you're already losing your boyfriend."
"Well I hope you find him soon," Matthew said. "I've been looking forward to meeting him."
Hope and Faith exchanged a quick glance, as though some secret was passing between them that only the two of them were aware of. They both burst into laughter.

The night progressed in a way that made Faith feel content. The music was loud, the people were louder, and she had Hope by her side.

They were sitting on a log in the backyard, surrounding the bonfire. One of the boys was playing guitar and everyone was singing along. Faith was clutching a beer in her hand, feeling the heat from the flames warm her skin. She could feel Hope's presence beside her, their knees almost touching. Albeit, Matthew was on one side, and Sebastian was on the other. But regardless, Faith still felt sensational. It was as though in that moment, all of her problems subsided. Everything was okay and nothing else seemed to matter.

"I need to pee," Hope muttered. Faith turned to her and was brought back to the current moment. The flames, the alcohol, the singing.
"Me too," Faith said, and then they were standing, telling their boyfriends they'd be back momentarily, and heading into the house.
Faith didn't know where she was going, but Hope seemed to know her way around, so she followed. Hope bypassed the crowds of people, took a left, and found the bathroom. The door was closed. Hope knocked twice, but someone was in there.
"Come on," Hope said. "This way." She turned around the corner, then headed up the narrow staircase.
"Where are we going?" Faith asked.
"Bathroom. Upstairs," Hope said. "It's less busy. And cleaner."

They walked to the end of the hallway and found the bathroom. Hope was right – this one was clean. And it was empty. They walked inside and closed the door.

Faith fixed her hair in the mirror as Hope peed, and then they switched. Faith sat on the toilet feeling unsteady as she stared at the bathtub in front of her. Everything seemed to be spinning and she couldn't remember the exact amount of alcohol she had consumed.

"Are you okay?" Hope asked, noticing Faith's blank stare.
"Mhm," Faith said. She took a moment before she wiped and stood up, then washed her hands in the sink and splashed some water on her face.
The bathroom was a decent size, but still, quite small. When she turned around, Hope was in her face.
"Sorry," Hope said, trying to sidestep Faith, but not succeeding, their faces only mere inches from each other. It was quiet for a moment, neither one of them moving. Faith stepped forward, her hands moving swiftly to Hope's face as she pressed her lips to hers. They tasted like strawberry bubble gum.

Hope kissed her back, hard. Faith took a step backwards until she was pressed up against the sink, Hope's hands in her hair. It felt so good, feeling suffocated and free simultaneously. Hidden away in the seclusion of the upstairs bathroom where no one would find them, letting their true feelings out of the box without fear or hesitation. This was what she wanted, Faith thought to herself. She may have always been with boys in the past, but right now, the only thing in the world that she wanted was this girl.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the handle was twisting. They quickly pulled apart just in time for the door to open and Sebastian to walk in.

"You okay?" he said, looking at Faith.
Hope was still standing extremely close to Faith. Suspiciously close.
"No," Faith said quickly, feeling as though she'd been caught red-handed. The only thing she could think to do to cause some sort of distraction was to collapse into Hope's arms.
Hope understood what Faith was trying to convey. "She's not feeling well, Sebastian," Hope explained. "I think she should go home."
"Come here," he stepped closer and took his girlfriend into his arms. "Babe, you good?"
She felt herself in Sebastian's grasp and opened her eyes slightly. "Seb?" she muttered, trying to pretend as though she was gaining consciousness.
"Too much to drink?" he laughed.
"Mhm," she nodded, then closed her eyes again.
"I'll take her home," he said to Hope.
"Okay," Hope fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to do, before finally finding her feet and moving towards the door.
"Thanks again," he said just as she was almost gone.
Hope looked at him. "For what?"
"Looking after her. Thank you."
"Of course," Hope nodded, and then she left.

______

She was laying in her bed, a cool cloth on her head and a glass of water on the nightstand. Sebastian took off his watch, placed it on the dresser, then slid into bed next to her.

"Still dizzy?" he asked, rubbing the back of his fingers on her cheek.
"Yes. Everything is spinning."
"It's a good thing I found you when I did."
"My knight in shining armour."
Sebastian paused a moment. "And it's a good thing that Hope was there too," he said. "To catch you, I mean. You nearly passed out."
Faith took in a small breath and tried to force a smile. "Mhm," she said. "Good thing." Then she turned towards him. "How did you know we were up there, by the way? When you came knocking at the door."
"You were taking an awfully long time," he laughed slightly. "I came inside to find you, but the bathroom was empty. One of the guys inside said he saw two girls heading up the stairs, so I just assumed it was you."
Faith didn't know how to respond, feeling the uncomfortable silence in the room. She had an uncanny feeling that Sebastian was lying to her.
"Well, it's a good thing you found me then," she said, then turned over onto her back.
"Yeah," he said, kissing her forehead and turning off the lamp. "Good thing."

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