Chapter 24 - Celebrations

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A month later we enter May and Landon and I make our relationship official, not that either of us dated anyone else the weeks before we agreed to be exclusive. It just sort of dawned on us one day that we'd never discussed our relationship in detail.

With May also comes the final exams. We've all been busy bees studying harder than ever this semester. I'm so full of knowledge I'm a little surprised some of it hasn't spilled out my ears. Nate, Landon, and Sophie have all been really tense these past weeks, considering this is their last change to affect their grades. Even Miranda has been so busy that I haven't seen much of her since the break. Thankfully Stella and Riley have been keeping me company, or I would've been bored to death.

Both Nate and Landon have applied for their masters in our university, upon hearing which I let out a deep relieved breath. I'd been afraid Landon would apply somewhere else and move. I don't think I would do well with the whole long-distance thing.

I think I do good on all my exams, but can't really be sure until the grades come in. Well, I still have two more years to go. I can't help but be a little jealous of the ones already graduating.

Graduation day is long. Since Nate, Landon, and Sophie are each in different schools inside the University, they all have separate ceremonies. I sit with Stella next to Mike's parents on his and Nate's graduation, which is late in the morning. Then I sit next to Sophie's little sister and parents, cheering her on when her name is called.

Landon's ceremony is last. He doesn't have any family, so I make sure to cheer him the loudest and snap a picture.

"You did it," I grin up at him. "I'm really proud of you."

He pulls me into a tight hug. "I couldn't have done it without you and Nate. Letting me live with you and for free at that... I really appreciate it. I had more time to study when I didn't have to be at work all the time."

"You could've done it on your own," I tell him, sure of it. "But we're glad we could help."

He kisses me and I can't help but smile.

We head to Sophie's parents house, where they're throwing a sophisticated party for the four graduates. Both our grandparents and aunt Melissa, Luke, uncle Rick and his girlfriend are there. Lots of "congratulations" are said and hugs given.

Then Rick drops the bomb: he and his girlfriend of six months, Emma, are getting married in early July. We'll all a little surprised, to say the least, considering he's always been quite the ladies' man, never the one to settle down with someone. Until now, that is. They're having a nice outdoor wedding, and we're all invited, of course. He asks Nate to be his best man, which he is happy to accept.

All in all, it's a very happy day. I smile and laugh so much that my cheek muscles are actually hurting by the time us "kids" wave our goodbye and head to the real party with the other graduates. We party to early morning and go to bed expecting a hangover the next day.

June goes by quickly and before we know it, it's July and Rick and Emma's wedding day. The weather is perfect: clear skies and sunshine.

"You ready?" Landon comes to my room, dressed in a black suit with a white dress shirt and a blue tie.

I strap on tan heels and straighten up. I'm wearing a blue high-low lace dress with a sweetheart neckline and a slimming waistband. I'm also wearing the silver bracelet Landon gave me for Christmas and a matching necklace and earrings. My make-up is light, considering we'll be outside in the sun and I don't want make-up running down my face. Stella came over a few hours ago and twisted my curled hair into an intricate side-bun on the nape of my neck. She really could be a hairdresser is she ever gets bored of veterinarian sciences.

"You look absolutely gorgeous," he smiles and kisses my cheek. I smile, pleased, and eye him up and down.

"And you look deliciously handsome," I lick my lips, taking his outreached hand. He chuckles and leads me outside. Since Nate is the best man, he left hours ago with Sophie, who's one of the bridesmaids.

Landon grabs my car keys and opens the passenger's side door to me, bowing.

"You're ridiculous," I giggle, making sure the hem of my dress is fully inside before he closes the door.

"I aim to please," he grins and hurries to the other side. The wedding is in a park forty minutes away.

When we arrive to the location, my breath is taken away. The park has been decorated beautifully: it's like a fairyland. Lights have been hung on trees for the evening, and wooden chairs and round tables covered in white linen have been placed under a white open tent built just for the wedding. Flowers are everywhere, mainly in pink and white. A white carpet, lined on both sides by white chairs, has been laid on the grass, leading to a decorated altar.

We spot Melissa and Luke and make our way to them.

"This is amazing," I gaze around me.

"I know, right? Emma has great taste" Melissa smiles. She's wearing a light purple dress that really compliments her slim figure.

"Hey, I helped!" Nate sneaks up on us, wearing a black suit with a light gray tie.

I scoff. "Yeah, right."

"Well okay, I didn't plan any of this, but I did help set it up," he grins.

"That I can believe," I smirk. "Where's Sophie?"

"Helping Emma get ready."

I know Sophie and Emma have been getting to know each other well as Nate and Sophie have helped organize the wedding, spending a lot of time at Rick's.

"How's Rick doing?" Luke asks.

"Good" Nate answers. "A little nervous, but that's normal."

"Just as long he doesn't get cold feet" Melissa jokes but I can tell she's a bit worried. I can't blame her. Emma and Rick did get engaged pretty quickly. I can't even imagine tying the knot, even the thought sending cold shivers of fear down my spine. How could they know, after just six months together, that they want to spend the rest of their lives together? How can anybody know that?

"Well, I'd better go check in on him again," my brother says. "The ceremony starts in fifteen."

Guests are already going to their seats and we sit down on the right side of the walkway, on the groom's side.

"Geraldine! Hank!" Melissa gets up and hugs my grandparents, who just arrived. "How are you?"

"Good, good," my grandmother says, shaking Luke and Landon's hands. She moves in to give me a peck on the cheek. "Never thought the boy would smarten up and get married. Glad she's beaten some sense into him."

I stifle a laugh, knowing she didn't mean it as a joke. Landon looks at me amused just as I detect movement in the front.

"It's starting!" I squeal when everybody has sat down and Rick makes his way to the altar after the officiant; a middle-aged kind-looking man. Nate moves to stand a little to the side. Slow music starts playing and we all rise and face the back.

Sophie, dressed in an elegant light gray dress, walks down the isle with a guy I've never seen before, followed by two other bridesmaids and their dates, and then the maid of honor, a pretty brunette I've never seen before. I haven't really met many of Emma's relatives or friends.

Then Emma and a man I suppose is her father, start the walk. She's gorgeous, her blond hair up on an elegant twist and her dress a white dream. It's flowy and beautiful lace covers the bodice.

At the end of the line, her father hugs her and kisses her cheek before Emma climbs up to the altar on Rick's left. I can't help but feel a tiny stab of jealousy; I won't be having a father to give me away, on the off chance someone is ever able to drag me up there.

The officiant welcomes everyone and speaks about love and commitment, but I miss most of the speech as my eyes are glued to the happy couple. They look so happy, Emma is even crying a little, and I can't help but wonder if I'm ever going to be standing there. Maybe in ten-years time, I think to myself snarkily. A the earliest. Committing to someone like that... it's scary as heck.

Landon's fingers curl around mine and I smile facing the front, not wanting him to see the fear in my eyes. I have feelings for him, maybe not quite love, yet, but close. Strong feelings. So why am I terrified of the idea us us getting married someday and starting a life together?

I'm shaken out of my dark thoughts when the officiant announces Rick and Emma as a husband and a wife, and they kiss. I cheer along with everyone else.

---

The park is absolutely stunning when the sun sets and the fairy lights wrapped on the trees start glowing. Music is blasting and people are dancing in the huge space cleared of chairs.

Landon spins me away and I laugh as he spins me back against his chest.

"There's that laugh I've been waiting for all day," he whispers in my ear, his hands around my waist. My heart skips a beat and I rest my cheek on his chest, hiding my face.

"I saw your face when it was time for the father-daughter dance," he says, moving us slowly in a circle.

I swallow down the lump forming in my throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mhm," he hums. "You don't need to hide anything from me, not even the bad. Especially the bad."

"But it's ugly," I whisper against his jacket. "I was jealous. So freaking jealous. And sad. Because I'm never going to have that."

"And that's okay."

"No, it's not," I argue. "I should've just been happy for Emma."

"You were happy for her. I could see that, too."

"Yeah, but I should've been only happy for her. Instead I made it about myself. It's selfish."

"You're allowed to be a little selfish sometimes."

"Stop being so understanding!" I push away from him, annoyed. Can't he see I'm an awful self-absorbed human being?

He sighs and pulls me after him to a more secluded spot away from the other guests.

"Why are you being so hard on yourself?" he asks, staring down at me.

I cross my arms. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You don't give yourself a break. Nobody's perfect, Avery. It's okay to miss your parents. It's okay to miss all the things you should've had with them."

I look away.

"And it's okay to be scared," he continues. I glance at him at that, but quickly look away again.

"I know you're scared of commitment, a real commitment, to another person. Because you don't want to let in more people that could possibly hurt you. I get it. I was the same way for a long time after my mom died. But somewhere along the way you managed to sneak past the walls I'd set up. And now it's my turn to help you."

"I don't need help."

"Yes, you do. And that's okay."

"Stop saying that," I groan.

He fixes me with a hard stare. "No. Because it's the truth. We aren't in any hurry. When you're ready, you're ready. I don't care if it's a year or ten from now. I'll wait." He takes a step closer, taking my hands in his. "Because I love you."

I look up, startled. What? My breath hitches and my hearts starts racing, trying to claw its way out of my chest. Not again. No, no, no... I can't lose him too.

"Breathe, Avery, breathe," he soothes, his thumbs stroking smoothing circles on my arms as I almost hyperventilate. "You don't have to say it back. I'm not expecting anything. I just wanted to tell you. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing's going to happen to me."

I manage to get my breathing under control and meet his eyes. "I—"

"I know," he hugs me, holding me close. "I know."

I close my eyes and tighten my arms around him. What have I done to deserve him? He's my rock, my anchor. I'm just so afraid I'm going to blink and he'll be gone.

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