Hello everyoneee....

Dhamaka update guysss..longets I have ever written- like  ALMOST 13k.

And I shall now let you all dive in without further delay

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CHAPTER 20 – THE IMMIGRATION COUNTER AT THE ARRIVAL 'TERMINALS' OF MY HEART

Khushi's POV

So For the first time in My Life, I am being shoved into this MRI Machine.

I take a deep breathe as the attendant asks me to take a deep breathe and asks me to stay still for the next 45 minutes, and I am now pushed into this crazy huge machine,and thank god I asked them for a blanket, for its cold in here ya..maybe I will just catch on some sleep.

I feel like I need a lot of sleep right now in order to reboot my system to shut out all these viruses that are now starting to infiltrate my heart on the command from my brain and my heart is busy shutting them out.

This bloody conflict is what gave me this killer migraine in the first place.

And I am now being pushed into this machine because I did loose out on my consciousness in Ashers car in Zara's arms until I was patted really hard on my cheeks and arms really bad by couple of the doctors and nurses in the emergency. My cheeks were flaming red surely because they were feeling like they had been slapped.

I now hear the attendants voice come through that tells me , that he is now starting the scan and that I have to stay still and that I can press on the red button they shoved in my hand incase I feel uncomfortable in here and want them to stop.

Ok Khushi.

You can do this.

I am not supposed to move or flinch in there, as they are now scanning my brain.

Ok so this round joystick kind of wired red button in my hand reminds me of my love for Video Games.

And Now.

Its like my heart and mind have started to play a Video Game of Nitendo's Super Mario Land with each other in this very moment,as one is asking the Mario avatar to just so straight on whats its seeing in front of it and not be tempted to fall into these little secret tunnels that you dunk into and and we will get some extra bonus gold coins.

Greattt!!! Bravo Khushi!! Bravo!!

The medical practioners of Cape Town are now all going to figure out - that I am Crazyyy In My Head.

That's a secret that I have been guarding within the walls of my head only revealing it to the close ones – and now with this MRI checking on the wiring in my brain – I am sure it is going to be written in black and white that – I have same crazy short circuits going on in there in my brain.

Jeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!

Ok Guys.

The Plan for catching on some sleep is defiantly going to work in here.

Nope.

Because this damm machine is now starting to making some shit crazy jamming noise in my ears.

Really.

So Much Noise in a MRI Machine too??

And to think – our brains should be scanned under the environment of peace and tranquality!!!!

Anyway, I think I just gave to keep working on my crazy thoughts to keep myself strong in here.

Because, all of a sudden, I am starting to feel like a little girl whose got locked in a cupboard while playing hide and seek.

And to be honest it did happen to me whilst I was 7 years old.

But at that time.

Dad found me and he immediately got me out and cradled me in his arms in a warm hug that instant comforted my nerves , then.

And I cant help but help but think – Who is going to come Hold me now incase I want This - Hug??

Because,in my reality today.

Dad is not here.

Mom is not here.

Krish is not here.

Uncle and aunty, Rahul and Diya are in Johannesburg (they left yesterday)for a wedding function in aunty's extended side of the family, and they are only scheduled to return on Tuesday evening.

No one is Here.

And the only other person I can think off at the back of head is also not here, the one whose smiling face revolved in front of my eyes before I blanked out.

My Hoodie Guy.

He is in Jamaica and he still has one more match tomorrow.

And then he did tell me that they were all scheduling to go to back to India the next day on Tuesday as well because they had some major cricketing meetings with the BCCI.

Ok.

I am channelizing all of my inner strength that I gained while coping up from the loss of my family, and I don't want to cry, but all of a sudden now – my eyes are welling up with tears.

And I think I shiver a little and right then the attendants voice comes through the machine – Please don't Move Maam.

Greattttt.

Statue Khushi Statue.

I cannot even wipe the tears that are now starting to fall of my eyes and blurring my vision.

I close my eyes on reflex and the string of tears now starts to fall of my cheek as I realise a very important analogy in my being right now.

And I think.

That - We Human beings are Like Airports.

You know how airports Stand Fixed in its place, not moving even an inch from its place, no matter how many flights Take off and Land in to its Terminals each day.

And maybe all these different flights with Take off and Landings are like moments and people from our lives that are just going to fly in to pause for a while, stay there in transit, chill at a lounge probably for sometime, enjoy duty free shopping, and then eventually get on that plane that will take off the run way and fly out into the air towards its next destination, and the airport is just left standing right there, watching and being surveillant to the smooth functioning of all these routine moments that will happen anyway – just like in Life – as Time continues to flow and does not really stop for anyone.

And then there are some flights that crash and take precious people away from you and what do you do then as the airport?(just like the crash that took my family away from me) Do you stop the daily functioning.Not really, you grieve a loss in your heart but because the very next moment a different moment of time is all set with its arrival, you go on anyway.

And then sometimes- The Best Maginificent Jumbo Jet comes into your arrivals for a shortwhile, making you feel like totally in awe of this brilliant machine, and you on reflex pause the rest of the flow on that run way of emotions and give like super importance to this one big jumbo jet, and then probably as you are lost in all the excietemt of having this maginficient machine stop at your terminal for a shortwhile – you realise in a flashy moment of time that this Jumbo Jet is going to jet away sooner or later – for this airport was probably just a stopover, and not really its final destination.

But that's my problem now – that's why I am in so much conflict ya!Beacuse my head is telling me that its almost time for this plane to fly away and reminding me every now and then about my very own fear of flying and in my heart I don't want this magnificent Jumbo Jet to leave the airport of my being ever.

Because in that one moment as My Hoodie Guys smiling face revolved in front of my eyes before it all went blank for me – I realised that hes tip toed his way into me – way to deep than I had been realising.

And.

I want This magnificient Jumbo Jet - Parked into the Gates of my Emotions Forever.

I just feel like it doesn't matter how gruelling and hard it will be to maintain the smooth functioning of this jumbo jet with that small aerobridge and garage available at my humble airport , because I truly don't want to let it go – because One Very Important passenger from this Magnificent plane has deboarded the plane and made its way through those Immigration Counters – straight into all the four arrival terminals of My Heart at the same time.(four terminals because the heart has four chambers right??)

And you know the funny part??

This passenger is kind of like a illegal immigrant into my heart that I have allowed to sneak into my gates myself.

Because although I did issue the visa he did not get that official stamp at that immigration counter that gives the status that – the passenger is allowed to stay in here.(and Damm him..he snuck his way right into the deepest chambers of my heart)

And I let him.

And I am sure its all been figured out by now.

That the passenger, the illegal migrant who has caused so much havoc in my heart is none other than – My Hoodie Guy who is also very much that Jumbo Jet Plane – that came with the magical wings of Love.

Yes – that's what I think I have been feeling in my being all this while and not realising it.

I am in Love.

I am truly, madly and deeply in Love with My Hoodie Guy.

That's why I am feeling all of this.

That is why this conflict in my heart and head had the power to have the kind of affect on me like it did today – with that killer migraine and my almost crazy accident.

Because if it wasn't Love – I wouldn't be this shaken.

This is deep.

This is way too deep already.

And its too Late now.

Its Too Late to Pull Away Now.

I cant pull myself away from him.

My heart is revolting on my mind full on right now – asking me to just listen to it.

And my Mind is telling me that – I am in deep shit Because there is literally nothing Official in between of Us.

And here – my stupid Heart has gone and surrendered itself into the Hands of Someone – who is probably all that I'd ever want – also all that I can never have – both at the same time.

And I miss him.

I miss him so damm bloody much.

I haven't been able to write a text to him or speak to him at all ever since that last message I wrote to him, and just these hours of feeling the thought of being cut away from him – are literally killing me.

God.

What am I going to do now???

This is shit complicated.

I continue to keep my eyes close as everything about him now starts to make its way into my head, every talk we have had, every message in between of us, everything..it all gushes through my head and I feel my heart starting to warm up and glow a little.

It felt so bloody good to have him occupy every corner of my heart.

And so I could only pray to the Gods above that maybe even if there was tiny miny chance – please have this Jumbo Jet wanting to park his engine into the gates off my emotion forever.

I could only Hope and pray that my humble airport continues to be deemed fit for a long term parking by His eyes.

Because in this excruciating lonely and caged moments in this MRI Machine I just realised – that if this plane ever took off my runway to go to another destination and to never return – I was going to feel like as if all the Planes ever manufactured by Boeing and Airbus in this entire universe would come crashing down on me – all at once.

And My Humble Airport would definitely not be able to come out of those flames – that would be burning my heart – if such a thing happened.

God Help Me.

I hear the attendants voice coming through that the scan is now nearing closure in 5 minutes.

I take deep breathes again.

I love you Hoodie Guy.

I love you so damm much.

And in this moment I also realised one more thing that because I truly loved him so deeply, I had to keep my silence and not talk to him at all until his match was over tomorrow.Because if I heard his voice right now or saw him on a video call – hed be able to see it right through me.And he would immediately sense that something was wrong on my side and there was no way that I wanted him to know about my this adventure into the hospital – because in my heart I knew – that this would rile him up and I didn't ever want to be a cause of distraction in his head that could come in between his duty as a national player, because I know that cricket was the first love of my hoodie guys Life.

Right then I feel myself being pulled out of this MRI Machine.

And as I get on my feet, I just wipe a tear outta my eyes because even though my insides are now longing to feel the arms of any of my loved ones around me, I know I have to be strong and face this head on.

Because in this Moment of Time – I am Alone.

You can do this Khushi.

I take a deep breathe and I smile at the attendant now as he's helping me get off.

And I remind myself – that Daddy is watching from Up there, and I have to make him proud.

I take a deep breathe as i say thought to my father in my head – Don't worry Daddy, I got this.

I am still your brave Little Girl Daddy.

I am still your Brave Little Girl.

....................

Fifteen Minutes Later

The Nurse adjusts the backrest of my hospital bed and I thank her, as I ask her to help me with the glass of water and right then the door of my room opens and I see Asher, Zain and Zara and a doctor and two nurses walk in to my room.

I have to thank Asher, Zain and Zara for this.

I make a mental note to thank them properly after these doctors leave.

I see Asher walk up to my bedside as he give me a smile and he asks – " is your head still hurting khushi??"

I give him a polite smile and I admit honestly – " just a little..."

Zara sits on the bed next to me as she laces her hands around my shoulder as she says – " don't worry ok..Zain has taken care of all the formailities too with your medical insurance and everything.."

I smile at Zain as I say – " thank you so much Zain.."

And I can feel Ashers gaze on me and I smile at him politely and now sip on that water.

The doctor now looks at me as he says with a courteous smile – " ok..so I am the radiologist and I was just going through your MRI..we will have the formal reports ready in a while, but all is good, there is not even a single sign of any internal injury at all..so miss khushi..everything is more than normal in that head of yours.."

I want to know like for real and I finish sipping on another sip of my water as I look at the doctor and I ask – " for real??? Nothings wrong?? Everything Is normal..????"

The doctor looks at me puzzled and so do Asher, Zara and Zain and he says with a reassuring smile – " yes khushi, everything is ok..."

I give him a little smile as I say – " I mean wait..you don't get it..im not talking about injury or something.."

The doctor is now definitely amused and so are the three of them as Asher folds his arms across his chest as he now asks – " then what are you talking about khushi???"

I take a deep breathe as I look at Asher briefly and then at the doctor as I say – " see doctor, it was my first time in the MRI machine and stuff and getting my brain scanned, but its not the first time for you right since you are the radiologist, you probably scan like hundreds of brains in a week..so I just wanted to know..my brain does look like its wired normally right??????????"

The doctor looks at me – " huh?? What do you mean??"

I look at him as I speak honestly – " I mean..im asking because in my head I feel like im really crazy sometimes, so maybe there is some major short circuiting in my brain that's been going on..and honestly while I was in there, I was kind of worried about the fact that now all of you will know that im kind wired crazy in my head, a fact that I know off actually know within but have been guarding it as a secret from the world.."

Literally everyone is the room apart from me bursts out laughing.

Zara is in splits.

So is Zain.

And I didn't know Asher could laugh like that.

The doctor and the nurses are laughing too.

And I just sip on my glass of water as I tell them – " see..now you know what I mean..."

The doctor controls his laugh and so do the nurses as he says with a grin – " never in the last decade of my practice have I been asked such a amusing question...maybe I should go have a look at that MRI again.."

I nod at him as I say earnestly – " yes please...if you can look again and tell me that I do have a normal brain just like most of others..id be very happy..."

They all laugh again.

Asher grins at me as he says – " khushi, he was being sarcastic.."

Oh.Stupid Khushi.

My brains having a major hang ups and upgardes going on because of all this fighting with my heart.

I give the doctor a smile as he now says – " ok anyway, we will be keeping you here tonight, and send you off in the morning..after we check on you and you feel better.."

I say politely – " thank you, I do feel better though.."

He smiles as he instructs the nurses on the multivitamins and drips to inject me with in the IV and the painkiller too, to keep the migraine in it's place and right then the doctor says – "And oh khushi, please if you can id like you to keep away from your phone for a while as in don't talk over the phone, don't use the wifi etc.."

And I look at him confused – 'why doctor??"

Doc – " so I know it sounds lame to you all , but youv just received some major magnetic radition in your head because of the MRI..and that smartphone is kind off like not healthy for you right now with all its radition and rays..the body is vulnerable right now..hence just give it some time to be in a radiation and ray free space..??maybe just keep it off for tonight??"

Ok Then.

How am I going to be in touch with Hoodie Guy Then?

I was aching to hear from him.

I was sure I had some messages from him on my phone.

On that Note.

Where is my Phone????????

Right then the doctor and nurses are walking out and Zain says – " ill just check if any more formalities are to be done.."

He walks out and now Zara is sitting next to me on bed and she takes out my phone from her bag as she asks – " shall I switch it off and keep it in this drawer next to you??

I nod.

Maybe it's the best for now.

Because Hoodie Guy shouldn't know about this episode yet.

I will tell him when I go back home tomorrow.

And that will also give me some time to detox my head from all this toxic noise from the news articles.

It will be good for my brain too.

I think I need this space to just reboot my systems.

She keeps the phone in the drawer and shuts it close and she now asks – " what will you eat khushi??i think you should eat something..can I get you a sandwich or something??"

I shake my head – " thank you but Zara, you and Zain have a flight tomorrow..i don't want to keep you guys here..",and I look at Asher as I say politely – " thank you so much to you all, but im much better now..please you all carry on...im just going to sleep anyway..its 730 pm..must be getting late for you all too..i am ok.."

Zara rolled her eyes at me as she spoke – " oh please khushi..im going to get you a sandwich anyway..you want some tea or coffee??"

I say politely because I did feel my stomach rumble a little at the mention of food, I hadn't eaten lunch as well – " thank you Zara..some coffee with it will be good.."

Zara looks at Asher – "and you asher..some coffee or another cup of tea..??"

Asher smiled at her – " a cup of tea will be good Zara..", and she now walks out and I see Asher settle himself on the stool next to my bed and he leans forward folding as he places his hands crossed at the palms at the edge of the bed and he asks – " are you sure you are ok?????????"

I give him a polite smile as I say – " thank you asher, yes I am.."

Asher smiles – "