fourteen | death

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On Monday morning, I walk into class looking like a homeless man.

I climb up the stairs and take a seat next to Holly. As usual, she looks like she has made black her b*tch. I check her wrists as soon as I sit down to make sure she hasn't started cutting.

I used to have a friend similar to her in high school, who loved wearing black and was always sad and emotional, and she started cutting. It was a horrible feeling, because she told me she was cutting and I begged her to stop but she wouldn't listen.

I tried everything and told her it's not worth it to hurt herself but she said she liked the feeling and wouldn't listen to anything I said. I wanted to save her, but she didn't want to be saved.

I was young at the time and I didn't know what to do. She told me not to tell anyone and, like an idiot, I listened. Then, that same year, she somehow got her hands on hydrogen cyanide and killed herself.

It was a weird feeling knowing she was dead, because I cared about her like any friend would, but I had known for a long time that I couldn't help her. She refused to get help. I knew she was going to die.

I hate myself for letting that happen.

I wish I was a better person.

It was such a horrible way to go; poisoning. A part of me is still shocked and hurt, but I've learnt to get used to death. I mean, not only am I a hit man, but my siblings died, too — although I hate even thinking about that.

That's what got me into this job in the first place. I had no money and no place to stay after my parents left. I had nothing and nobody, except Elijah. He was always there.

I glance down at the dark-haired boy. Once again, he is completely surrounded by girls. I then see Jamie sitting a bit further down with his arm around that annoying girl, Alex or whatever.

"I saw you talking to Elijah and his friends..." Holly says and raises an eyebrow.

I nod. "Yeah, long story."

"Oh, okay, if you want to go and sit with them, then that is okay with me. I don't really like you," she admits.

I gasp. "What? Are you being serious? Why don't you like me?"

She shrugs. "Yeah, I mean it. I don't like people. I don't know why you want to be friends with me because I don't like talking to anyone, including you."

"So you really want me to go?" I ask.

If she was cutting or depressed and told me this, I wouldn't listen, because I would know she is just trying to push me away but Holly seems to be relatively emotionally stable. Well, as emotionally stable as a university student can be.

When it comes to this topic, I feel so confused and now it's worse. Is Holly pushing me away or does she really just not want any friends? I thought everyone wants a friend, but I guess not.

"Well you don't have to go right now cause you're here already, but next time I'd rather sit alone."

"No, I'm not going to let you be all alone. Nobody wants that. You're just saying that." I don't want it to happen again. I know it's not necessarily my responsibility, but it can't be my fault. It can't be because I couldn't stop it.

Holly laughs. "B*tch, I like being alone. Don't worry about me. Trust me, I'm great."

The lecturer walks in and so I nod in response, deciding that I will leave her alone for a bit if that's really what she wants. I guess you can't force any kind of friendships.

•<•>•

When class ends, I climb into my beautiful black Mercedes and make my way back to my apartment.

As I drive, all I can think about is the fact that I have no friends. I have Elijah and his friends, but once Elijah is gone I won't be able to hang out with Jamie and everyone else anymore. It won't be the same.

I pull into the parking outside my apartment block and find my boss standing and waiting for me. He does not look happy at all.

This just keeps getting better.

I climb out the car and nod my head as a way of greeting him. He walks over to me. "Look, girl, I don't have time for this. I'll give you a month to finish this hit with Elijah Lancaster, but in the mean time I want you to get rid of someone else." He hands me a folder with the information of my target and I quickly read through it and nod, handing it back to him. "Kill her today and you have thirty days to kill Elijah."

With that, he walks off. I sigh and get everything that I'll need to get rid of this woman. She's a serial killer who escaped from prison and continued killing. No surprise that someone wants her dead.

Sometimes, when FBI and police can't catch someone, they hire us to get rid of people for them.

I get back in my car and make my way to the location that was given. I just want to do it fast and be over with it.

•<•>•

Ahhhh! Please can you guys comment along more. I don't mind if you don't vote but I loooooove reading comments and this book feels so quiet. Where are my commenters at? COME ON ITS TEAMWORK!!!

T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylaawrites
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Lots of love and jelly tots - xThePineappleGirlx

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