Chapter 36

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Skylar's POV

The whole weekend passed awfuly slow. I didn't leave my bed, only when I had to. I barely ate, and showered maybe once. I had neither the strength nor the motivation to do anything. My mum called me on Sunday, and I had to act as if everything was just great.

It's a really terrible feeling when you have to pretend in front of your loved ones that nothing is bothering you when in reality, you're screaming inside, but I don't want to burden others with my problems. I have always coped with them on my own and I should be able to cope with them now.

Without anyone's help.

Jacob texted me a few times asking if I was feeling okay. Who would have thought that we would become friends. At the very beginning, I think I was kind of scared of him. And now, here we are.

It was Monday now, I sent a message to Ace around 3am or so, but he didn't reply. And don't even ask what I was doing at 3 am. I have not been sleeping well recently. I'm exhausted, bugs visible under my eyes, I feel weak.

My first classes were cancelled so I had some spare time and decided to visit Ace. I got dressed in my black trousers, black boots, white jumper and grey coat and went outside. The weather was nice today. The complete opposite of my mood. I could feel the sunshine on my face, the birds were singing somewhere in the distance. However, I took a taxi because it felt as if every next step, made me more exhausted. I really need to take a nap when I come back to my flat.

When I finally reached my destination and a huge, glass building appeared in front of me, I went inside. I stepped out of the lift and headed towards Ace's flat. While walking along the corridor, I felt a little nervous. I wasn't sure if he wanted me there, I didn't tell him I would visit him after all. Maybe he wasn't even inside, maybe he was at work. But I already arrived so what's the harm in checking.

I stopped at the door, took a deep breath and knocked. I started fiddling with my hands unconsciously.

Why am I acting like that?

It's Ace

My Ace

He will be happy to see me. I'm sure he will be happy.

Suddenly, the door flew open and a huge smile appeared on my face, but that smile quickly disappeared when I saw who opened that door. Elle was standing in front of me, wearing...Ace's shirt?? After a few seconds, I think she realised who I was and she smirked at me.

"Oh hi! Please come in!" Elle said happily, obviously faking her enthusiasm, grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

She walked passed me and now we were standing in front of each other. She crossed her arms over her chest and was staring at me confidently as if she owned this place.

"To what do I owe this pleasant visit?" She questioned with that cocky smile of hers which I wanted to rip off her face so badly.

But only my inner Skylar was furious. I was boiling inside and wanted to throw her out of the flat, but I'm too shy and pathetic to show my real emotions. I'm always scared and prefer remaining silent and invisible in many situations.

"I uhm, is...is Ace here?" I asked quietly, squeezing the strap of my handbag tighter.

"Oh yeah, he's taking a shower now."

Her smirked grew even bigger.
Shower? I felt like the air got heavier. I started to feel hot and my body started shaking a bit from these nerves.

Breathe, Skylar. Just breathe.

"Oh uhm okay, could...could you-"

"Skylar?"

I was cut off by Ace's voice coming from the left.

I turned my head towards him and my heart fell. He had a towel wrapped around his hips and his body was still wet from the shower.

He walks around wearing only that while she is here?

I was looking at him with my parted lips, with an evident hurt and slight shook on my face. I glanced at Elle who looked very pleased with herself, and then at Ace again. He sticked out his hand and wanted to come up to me but I took a step back, looking at the floor.

"I uhm..." I pointed at the door behind me with my thumb and started taking steps back "If you excuse me." I turned around and left this place as fast as I could.

I heard Ace calling my name behind me but it didn't stop me. I pressed the bottom but it was taking so long for the lift to go up, so I ran up towards the stairs. Just as I was about to set foot on the first step, Ace grabbed my hand.

"Skylar wait!"

I looked at him and he was wearing his black sweatpants now. His bare, muscular chest on full display...oh stop it! I saw a slight fear in his eyes, and I'm sure he could see hurt in mine.

"Let me go, Ace. I don't have much time anyway, I need to go to my uni."

I put my hands on his and wanted to take them off of my body but his grip only tightened.

"Baby, it's not what you think. She had to stay the night and didn't have any clothes so I gave her my t-shirt." He tried to explain but I only nodded my head, closing my eyes and wanting to go already.

"I didn't ask, Ace." I said in a weak tone. I nibbled on my lip nervously. My chest was moving fast.

"But I know you, and I know what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

He smiled a bit but I didn't returned it. I looked down instead.

"I'm almost there, Sky. I have almost solved this whole situation, just...give me a few more days."

I nodded my head again, hoping that this would end this conversation. I heard him sigh and his fingers were under my chin lifting it up in a second. My hazel eyes met his chocolate ones and we were just gazing at each other.

I missed him. It felt like his face started getting blury in my head. I was looking at every detail on his face, every freckle, every wrinkle. I wanted to remind myself how his face looks, how his skin feels against mine, how his chocolate eyes sparkle when the light falls on them.

"Okay." I said softly. "I understand. Now, if you don't mind, I need to go to my classes."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't a long kiss but it meant a lot to both of us. We are in this together. We will get through this.

Together.

I pulled away and he reluctantly let go of me. I pressed the bottom and after a few seconds, went inside the lift. I turned around, interlocked my fingers and looked at Ace. He was standing in front of me with his hands in his pockets and his head down. God, he looked like a little puppy that had done something wrong. A little puppy that I would like to hug so tightly, but I couldn't.

"I love you, Sky." He said weakly but I didn't have a chance to say anything because the door of the lift closed.

I really don't know what to think about all of this. I trust Ace. I really do. People are so fake and even someone who is the closest to you can hurt you in the most uexpected moment, but not Ace. He promised me that if he fell out of love, and found someone better, he would tell me that.

But it's not even the case. I know him. I know how he acts, I know when something is bothering him, I know when he's lying, and I know that his love towards me is real. He just wants to help Elle and I'm glad that I have that kind of person beside me in my life. Despite that fact that I already can tell that she has a nasty character and no wonder why so many people are not really fond of her, those people who hurt her can't get away with that.

That familiar feeling in my chest appeared and it was a bit hard to breathe. I put my hand on my chest and tried to calm myself down.

There were no free cabs near here, so I had to walk. I still had that unsettling feeling after the last time when I was followed, but I tried to brush it off. I can't be afraid of going outside now. When I reached my uni, I heard someone's voice calling my name.

Ugh noo, not now.

Please, God, make her disappear.

I started walking faster as if I didn't hear her. Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and I knew who it was instantly. I turned my head towards that someone.

"Didn't your parents teach you that it's not nice to ignore others?" Chloe glared at me with an angry expression on her face. "Oh, right. They did but you are too dump to get that through your head."

"I'm in a hurry. You will make fun of me next time." I said with a clear weariness in my voice.

I wanted to start walking again but she grabbed me even tighter and pulled me back to her again.

"I just wanted to talk." She said, casting me her fake smile "I heard that Elle is back. Ace got rid of you that quickly?"

I hate her so much. She knows how to wait for the right moment. Does it make her feel better knowing that she put the knife in someone's chest and she can watch them bleed in front of her??

"They are not together." I answered, forming my lips in a thin line. She smirked.

"Oh yeah? I know her, and I know how possesive of him she was. Do you think that she will give him back to you just like that?" She let out a scornful laugh.

I looked at her with a tired expression on my face. I didn't have the energy to deal with her now.

"Look, I don't know who hurt you but just know that I'm sorry, and I'm always here if you ever want to talk about this. You didn't deserve what happened to you in life, but hurting other people will not make your problems go away and will not make you feel better. Maybe it seems like it does now but...not in the long run." I whispered mildly.

She was gazing at me with her mouth slightly open and for the first time she didn't say anything. She was speechles and I think her eyes became a bit glossy. I sent her a weak smile and slowly pulled away from her.

Everyone has their own ways of dealing with the pain, or hurt, or our problems. Some of us crave love, affection and reassurance, while the others, push everyone away, shut them out and act as if they don't need anyone. Many of those people don't have anyone to talk to, and they feel some sense of solitude.

I've once heard that someone who acts as if they don't need anyone, must have been through so much shit, alone. That's why they feel like they don't need anyone. No one was there to give them a tight hug, or plant a soft kiss on their forehead, or simply offer words of encouragement.

They don't let anyone get closer to them because that's how they are protecting themselves. I've always been scared to get out of my shell and now that I'm finally out of it, I feel like I'm getting increasingly close to getting back to it.

I sat on the bench near some class and took out my phone. I texted Flynn asking where he was because I didn't want to walk in without him. After a few seconds, he messaged me that he wouldn't come today because he has to go to the dentist.

Fucking hell...

I stood up and suddenly felt dizzy. I put my one hand on my forehead closing my eyes, and the other one on the wall on my left. God, I'm so exhausted.

I pulled myself together and walked into the class. When I took a seat, I got stressed a little because I remembered that it is English history, which equals...Mr.Thomson.

And Flynn is not here...

Great

When he finally entered the class, I didn't glance at him. My head started to hurt a little so I put my hand on my forehead and rested slightly on it. I didn't know what was going on, maybe the pressure was high. During the lecture, my gaze didn't meet his even once, but I saw him staring at me a few times from the corner of my eye. Finally, we could go. I packed my stuff and wanted to leave, but then I heard him calling my name.

"Skylar, come here for a minute, please."

God dammit

I grabbed my bag and slowly approched his desk. He had his hands in his pockets and waited for other people to leave the class. When we were finally alone, he stood in front of me, leaning against his desk. He didn't say anything, his gaze scanning my whole body. I chew on my cheek nervously.

"Why didn't you stay after classes last week? We were supposed to...practice." He asked.

I lifted up my head a bit and looked at him.

"I was sick, sir."

He took a deep breath and started coming closer to me. I was standing still as if I was frozen. When he was next to me, I could feel his presumably ecpensive cologne.

"Are you avoiding me, Skylar?" He asked in a low voice.

"N-no, sir." My voice a bit shaky.

He sighed loudly. "You have no idea how sexy it sounds coming out of your mouth."

What does? Okay, I don't care anyway. He is too close, and it made me really uncomfortable being here with him while he is saying all those things. I wanted to run away from him quickly but he made a few big steps forward pushing me back. My back hit the desk and he put his hands on either side of it, caging me.

I was breathing fast, my eyes and mouth wide open. He was glaring down at me bitting his lip. I felt one hand on my waist and I shifted a bit wanting him to leave me alone.

"P-please, let me go-"

"Shh" He put his thumb on my bottom lip and started tracing a line on it. "I've waited for you for so long."

He pressed himself closer to me and I could feel a big buldge in his pants. Tears started gathering in my eyes and my body started shaking uncontrollably. Why is he doing this? It is obvious that I don't want this. Why don't men understand when a woman says 'no'?

"Let me go." I breathed out.

He hid his face in the crook of my neck and started planting soft kisses on it. I felt so disgusted, I wanted to go home.

"I will make you feel so good, I promise." He stated lowly.

I couldn't stop tears falling down my cheek anymore. His hands were roaming my whole body until his one hand went inside my trousers. I let out a sob. I had to do something! I put my palms on his chest and pushed him as hard as I could. Then, I kicked him in his balls and he let out a loud groan, cupping the spot where he was just kicked.

I took advantage of the opportunity and moved quickly towards the door.

"You little bitch!"

I heard him say, but I kept running. I won't come here ever again. I will drop out of university. I'm done. I had other classes today but I didn't care. I was running so fast that I thought I would stumble. Tears falling from my eyes, some people were staring at me and probably wondering what happened.

When I reached my flat, I was happy that Laura's car wasn't parked outside. It was 1 pm so she probably still had classes. I left my flat early this morning so that's why we didn't see each other after she came back from that trip with Marco. I walked inside and went straight to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and rushed to the bathroom. I tried to take off my clothes which was quite difficult with my shaky hands and blurry vision caused by the tears.

Why all those bad things happen to me? Did I do something that God hates me so much?! When I no longer had anything on, I stepped into the shower. I sat on the floor and made a small cut on my inner thigh. The tears merged with the water pouring from the shower head. I felt that heavy pain in my chest again, but I didn't know how to make it go away. It disappears spontaneously and reappears on some random days without warning. I made another cut and watched how blood flowed from the wound.

What I would do to have Ace here with me. If he was here, he would hug me and tell me that everything would be alright, and even if I didn't believe him, I would feel better afterwards. He always makes me feel better. But I don't want to interrupt him. He has his own issues and problems that need to be taken care of.

With my puffy eyes, I came out of the shower. I got dressed in a black sweatshirt and matching, black trousers. I put my hair in a messy bun and went to my room. After climbing on my bed, I wanted to take some sleep but I obviously couldn't. I heard my stomach grumbling, since my last meal was...I don't even remember when, but there was no strength in me to leave my room.

I was gazing at the sky through the window, thinking how great it could be to feel anything at all.


You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net