Chapter 19

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Skylar's POV

I was gawking at Laura and waiting for her to start talking. She seemed to be a bit stressed, as if she was afraid how I would react.

"I uhm was with Jacob once. Like a couple." She almost mumbled and looked like she was expecting me to yell at her or something.

"Yeah, to be honest I thought that you two were together. I just wanted you to tell me when you're ready." I smiled slightly at her.

"You did? Well, we were together for a year. It was good at the beginning but then...we started fighting a lot. Mostly because of his work. He sells guns and drugs, and always is surrounded by bad people. He and Ace have a lof of rivals and enemies."

"They work together?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

I was shocked because they can't stand being together in the same room, let alone working together. But what happened between the two of them?

"They did. He uhm was actually Ace's good friend." she smiled slightly. "But...what do you know about Elle?"

Elle? What does she have to do with all of this?

"That she was Ace's girlfriend who was kidnapped and killed. Why?"

"She was Jacob's sister."

My eyes widened. That explains his behaviour and why he hates Ace so much. Wait so that means...

"They stopped being friends when Elle died." It was more a statement than a question. Laura nodded.

"Jacob blames Ace for her death."

"But why? It's not his fault."

"Yeah, explain that to Jacob." She rolled her eyes and continued "They were close to each other and he really loved her. He warmed Elle that Ace is dangerous but she was in love with him."

I felt a slight pain in my chest and...jealousy? I can't be jealous of someone who is dead. But maybe I'm jealous of the fact that she could touch him, kiss him and spend her free time with him. But just like many other women. I can't be jealous of everyone.

"When she died, he broke off his contacts with Ace. He even quit his job and went to competition just to spite Ace. I know he misses him but doesn't want to admit that. He is so stubborn." Laura said and zoned out for a bit looking out the window.

"But why did you guys break up?" I asked and she let out a slight sigh.

"I just had enough, you know? And I was just scared. But every time something happened, he assured me that he would protect me so I always stayed. One night though, some creepy men burged into my house and wanted me to give them back the money Jacob owed him. They threatened me and I realised that it's not the life I want. I cared about him and I think I still do but maybe we're just not meant to be. After our break up, he started whoring around and showing up every day with another girl to make me angry. I know he's hurt, or rather was, but it wasn't the right way of showing that. "

Wow. I was listening to all of that and couldn't believe it. But why didn't Ace tell me that Elle was Jacob's sister? I think he still misses her and that's what hurts me. Sometimes I wonder if she was alive, who he would choose. I have similar situation with him here. I can be in danger many times and Ace can't be with me every time to keep me safe. But he said he doesn't do anything illegal now, right? Or he lied to me.

"I know what you're thinking right now, and just...don't." Suddenly Laura spoke up, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked at her. "Just because they didn't work out, doesn't mean that there's no happy ending for you two."

"But what if there isn't any? What if I end up like her?"

I felt a lonely tear sliding down my cheek. I'm not a huge fan of my life but the thought that I could die and leave everything...just scares me.

Sometimes when I cut myself, I think about how it could feel to end all of this. How it could be to not feel anything at all. How it could be to disappear, completely. But when you stand before an actual danger, you realise how much you don't want to leave this place. Not like that.

"Skylar, you won't die. If Ace doesn't protect you, but honestly I doubt it, then I'll kick the asses of everyone who will even scowl at you." She chuckled and I joined her.

After our conversation, we were talking and watching movies basically the whole afternoon. I guess Ace doesn't trust me completely since he didn't tell me that Jacob and Elle were related. Who knows what else he is hiding from me. But I can't push him. We can't force people to trust us.

Laura said that Elle died a year ago or something. I thought it was quite recent. Maybe he's over her now? And he can move on and have a life with me? But he's clearly hiding something...

While we were watching a film, we heard someone ring the doorbell. Laura stood up and went to open it. After a minute, Monica and Jessie walked in.

"Hey Skylar!"

"Hi guys." I said and sat straight comfortably.

"We are going to watch the races today!" Monica said excitedly. "And you guys are going with us."

"No, I don't think that's a good idea. We'd rather stay home and watch films, right Skylar?" Laura said and looked a little apprehensive. She was glaring at me, bitting her lip.

"Actually, maybe it's not that bad idea?" I was shocked that I actually said that but I've never been on a race before. Besides, I wanted to do something fun.

"Noo, Skylar. It's boring there and I know how much you like staying at home."

She was acting really weird. She always was the one who had to drag me everywhere and now it's totally opposite.

"Why don't you want to go? I've always been curious how it looks like and feels when you stand there with all those people and watch others race." I was really thrilled.

She must have noticed that excitment in my eyes and sighed defeatedly.

"Fine."

When Monica and Jessie were in the living room and we went to our rooms to get ready, I ran up to Laura, putting my palm on her shoulder.

"Laura, what's wrong? If you want to hang out with your friends only, just say it. I won't be offended." My tone was a little lower.

She took my hands and smiled at me warmly.

"Skylar, you are my friend and what you just said is not true. I just...those are illegal races and there are many shadowy men. It's simply not safe."

"I get that, but I won't be alone, I'll be with you." I gave her a small smile. She nodded eventually but she didn't seem entirely sure about that idea of us going there.

I decided to wear my black trousers, gray sweatshirt, black, oversized jacket and my white nike shoes. It was simple and comfortable but I think I was dressed appropriately for the occasion. Suddenly, Laura walked into my room.

"Ready?" She asked. She was wearing a denim jeans, white sweatshirt and a black jerkin.

I nodded eagerly and we left my room. We drove there in Monica's car because it was located outside the city. When we arrived, there were plenty of people. It was dark now and we could see a lot of colourful lights.

Laura was right. There were plenty of weird, mostly old, men walking around with beers in their hands. They were smirking at us and winking, and I felt like throwing up.

We had to go through the crowd to get to the front. Some race had already started and we could see on the big screen how they had been doing.

They were driving so fast that I was afraid about them even though I didn't know those people. The drivers were neck and neck. The black car speeded up and cut the blue one in, making him turn left and hit the wall. Me, like the majority of people watching, let out a loud gasp.

"Holy shit!" Someone shouted behind me.

The black car finally arrived. I didn't know a single thing about cars and all that stuff but from what I saw, he was a really good driver. Who won after all. He finally got out of the car and my eyes widened. That...was Ace. He races? And he didn't tell me anything?

I looked at Laura only to see her already looking at me with a guilt written all over her face.

"You knew that he was going to be here? You knew that he races?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes and I'm sorry. I thought that maybe he wouldn't be here tonight and he would tell you himself one day."

I think I wasn't mad at her about something like that but I felt...I don't know. She should have told me. No, it's Ace who should have told me!

I turned my face towards Ace again and I felt a pain in my chest. I was looking at him kissing some blonde girl in front of my eyes.

What the fuck?!

He gripped her ass and their lips were pressed together. How could he? Why did he do it? If he was fed up with me already, he could have just told me. I felt betrayed. And hurt. I felt like my heart just shattered into a million pieces, making me not able to move.

He pulled away and on his face appeared a lazy smirk. But that smirk quickly faded when our eyes met. I think he could see the hurt on my face. He parted his lips and was staring at me with wide eyes. I turned around quickly and started walking. Laura ran up to me and asked if I was okay.

"I'm fucking terrific."

I couldn't believe that I let him do it to me again. I just wanted to get out of this place. Suddenly, I felt a strong grip on my forearm. I knew exactly who it was so I swiftly pushed him away.

"Skylar, let me explain." He said, looking frightened. Pain flashed through his eyes.

"What is there to explain? You kissed that girl, despite the fact that you have a girlfriend! Not to mention that I had no freaking clue that you race?! What the fuck Ace? You could have died and I wouldn't know about it."

I didn't know if I was more angry or hurt. Both, I guess. I felt my eyes started watering and I brought up my hand to rub them. I didn't want people to see me in this state.

"Princess, I never lose. I'm the best. " He said cockily and I scoffed, turning around. "God okay, just let me explain!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and tried so hard not to start crying in front of him. I didn't want to show him that he broke me again.

"I really care about you and you know that, but I've got a reputation, Skylar! I can't show people that I'm weak, that they can threaten me whenever they want. They have to know their place and show me respect. And when people are afraid of you, they respect you."

"Why do you want people to be afraid of you so much? You can gain their respect without making them feel that way. Isn't it better to know that you are surrounded by people who like you, love you, that you can take care of one another? That you can make them happy and they can do the same? Besides, if your reputation is more important than your relationship then..."

I couldn't finish it. I care about him so much, he is the only light in my dark world but he clearly doesn't take our relationship seriously if he keeps running around and kissing some random chicks to prove his worth and position in society. I am not strong enough to go through this.

Ace took a step forward. His lips formed in a thin line.

"Then what? You will just run away like you always do when there's some obstacle on your way?" He came closer to me and continued. His brown eyes born into mine. "You choose to be weak, you choose to be insecure, and you choose to be unhappy because you care too much about people while they don't give a flying fuck about you!"

I let out a sharp sigh and took one step back. He closed his eyes for a second, cursing under his breath.

"Wow. Thank you." I muttered, turned around, this time not being able to stop tears from rolling down my cheeks.

"Skylar..." He put his hand on my shoulder but I pushed it away with all my strength and turned my probably red face towards him.

"No, seriously. Thank you...for your honesty. "

I think he noticed my tears because his eyes softened a little. But why would they? He doesn't give a flying fuck about me anyway. Laura grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer to her and we started walking towards the entrance.

We took a taxi and went home. I didn't speak the word during the whole ride. I noticed Laura glancing at me a few times but she didn't say anything either. When we entered our flat, I went sttaight to the bathroom and took a very needed bath. I must have sat there for quite a long time because the water got cold some time ago. I sat in it with my legs pressed against my chest and my arms wrapped around them. Quiet sobs came from my mouth from time to time.

I really thought that it all meant something. That I meant something to him. It hurts so bad when you feel so fucking unwanted your whole life.

Finally, I got dressed in my sweatpants and hoodie and went to bed. While I was lying and staring at the ceiling, someone knocked on the door. I knew it was Laura. She walked in, went under the covers with me and wrapped her arm around me, hugging me. It's really good that she can show me her support by just simple gestures. Talking isn't necessary.

I let out a small sob and she started rubbing my arm gently with her hand.

"Don't cry, Skylar. He's not worth it." She whispered.

"Why do people treat me like shit when I do nothing wrong?" I sobbed.

Many people hurt me, humiliated me until I went silent. I wasn't that loud how I used to be. I kept my mouth shut. I tried not to annoy anyone, not to say anything hurtful but they still do this. The world is cruel and its very hard to find the right people on your way.

They say that life gifts you lessons that grow you and build you and help you to bloom, but I feel like, I don't heal. I'm bleeding more and more.

"That's how people are. It's a sad truth but we can't do anything about that. We just have to keep smiling at them even when they leave us in the dirt. But we have to remember that it's not our fault. They choose to be that way. And they will always be alone, full of griff or anger. We have to pay no attention to them and simply focus on something that makes us happy. No matter what they do or say don't doubt your worth and beauty."

I was listening to her and her words were so calming. They actually did help me a little.

"You'll be a really good psychologist one day, Laura. " I giggled and she joined me. "Seriously, I mean it. I always feel so much better after talking to you."

"I'm glad then. I love you, dickhead." She smiled at me.

"I love you too, smart ass." I replied and we laughed a bit.

I felt my phone vibrate under my pillow and when I lifted it up, I saw Ace's name on the screen. I rolled my eyes and put it down.

"It's him, isn't it?" Laura asked.

"Yeah, for the hundredth time already." I sighed. "Why is he messing with me like that? He always hurts me and then comes back. If he cared about me, he wouldn't have kissed that girl. What do you think about all of this situation?" I looked up at Laura who seemed deep in thoughts.

She furrowed her eyes slightly and looked down at her hands, and then at me.

"I honestly don't know. I mean, I'm not taking his side but it's hard to change even for someone you care about and want to change for, and I see that he's trying but he still has a lot to work on."

"So, you think that he takes me and our relationship seriously? And doesn't treat me like one of his girls?" I asked.

"I don't know, Skylar." She sighed. "But I told you that when I was with Jacob, we hung up together a lot and I can see that he's changed. You have changed him. In a good way of course. He is not that impulsive, he's calmer, I'd say, and...really happy."

I was looking out the window, thinking but I could see from the corner of my eye that she was glaring at me.

Maybe it's a sign that we will never work out? He will meet someone better sooner or later so maybe it's better to back out of it now when my feelings aren't that strong yet.

But...are they?


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