Chapter 10

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Skylar's POV

I was lying on my bed, sobbing. I couldn't believe that he used me like that. When he left me in that room, I was a crying mess. I went downstairs and wanted to leave but Laura found me. She didn't ask any questions about what happened. She knows that I will tell her when I'm ready. She called a taxi, holding me tight during the whole ride. She is the best support and it's so good to know that you have people that always have your back. She wanted to stay with me but I managed to whisper that I'd rather be alone and she did as I asked.

I was wondering, why people can't stand being around me in the long run. Maybe I'm too annoying? Or too boring? I lost so many people in my life. It seems like, everything and everyone tries to tell me that I'm not good enough. And the worst part is, that I think I'm starting to believe them. I don't want to meet new people or be in a relationship because I know that they all are temporal. I hate getting close to people. I always regret caring too much, sharing too much or feeling too much. Sometimes it's better to be alone.

No one can hurt you.

I'm a really confusing person. Maybe that's why people don't stick around for too long. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. I feel everything at once, then feeling paralising numb. I want to be alone to avoid being hurt, but at the same time I want love. I want to have someone who will be there for me, who will care, ask me how my day was and simply love me. Forever.

I heard a knock on the door but I didn't get up or say anything. There was no strength in me. I knew it was Laura who was knocking. She opened the door slowly and walked up to my bed, sitting on it.

"Hey." She said while brushing my calf gently with the back of her hand. "How are you feeling?"

I was silent. Salty tears were rolling down my cheek again. My breathing was slow, the complete opposite to my increasingly beating heart.

Just thinking about today's events makes me feel that strange feeling in my stomach again. The feeling that is always present when I go through something difficult in my life. I have got used to it now, I guess. It has been with me for as long as I can remember.

"Why people hurt other people?" I finally asked, sitting straight up on my bed. "I mean, I get that I don't deserve some things or some people in my life but why do they have to end things in such a hurtful way? Why do they give us hope that something is possible, that something is real, and that it will last, but then they just..." I sobbed as my lip began to tremble slightly.

Tears started to collecting in my eyelashes, making it difficult to see. I brought up my small hand to rub my eyes.

"Skylar, please listen to me." Laura said, sitting in front of me with her hands on my knees."You are important and you matter, and you sure as hell deserve everything in the world. Just because some people can't appreciate it, it's their fault. Many say that love is painful, but it's people who don't know how to love us make us feel like that."

"See? That's the problem with me. Despite all those amazing words you just said to me, I still don't belive it because so many people told me otherwise. I push everyone away because it's easier way to do. Because I don't know how to let someone get close to me."

I brought my hands to my eyes, covering them. It's such a stupid feeling, missing someone who doesn't miss you.

"Shh...it's okay. " Laura sat beside me and laid my head on her knees. She started stroking my hair gently.

"Noo, your trousers will be wet." I mumbled, trying to get up but she put my head back on her lap.

"I don't give a shit about my trousers. Just cry, let everything out. Maybe it seems stupid but crying can actually help. If I remember correctly from my classes, crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These chemicals can help ease both, physical and emotional pain."

I let out a small giggle, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Why are you laughing? " Laura asked and smiled down at me.

"Oxy- what? Sometimes I forget that I live with a soon-to-be Mrs psychologist." I laughed and she joined me.

After a few minutes of just sitting in a comfortable silence, I sat up and asked "What time is it by the way?"

"23:36" She answered, looking at her phone.

"I'm sorry that our Friday night didn't turn out like we planned."

"It's okay. It wasn't even that good anyway." She sent me a reassuring smile.

We were just sitting together and enjoying our company when we heard someone ring the doorbell. We looked at each other with our eyebrows furrowed.

"You're expecting someone?" I asked her and she shook her head as a 'no'.

"I'll go and see who it is. And don't you dare to fall asleep! Movie night tonight." She said with a fleeting smile on her face and left the room.

She was gone quite long. I heard someone talking and I assumed it was Alex and they wanted to talk, but suddenly Ace burged into my room. I glanced at him with surely stunned expression on my face. He was the last person I would expect to come here.

"Skylar" He said, approaching me.

He seemed stressed and...scared? But why the hell would he be scared?

"I'm sorry, I tried not to let him in but.." Laura began but Ace cut her off.

"Skylar, I just want to talk. Please."

He was looking at me with those beautiful eyes of his and I looked down at the floor. If I looked at him, I would forgive him because I'm a sucker for his eyes.

"I think you've already said enough. Leave." I said, crossing my arms over my chest, still looking at the floor.

I heard him coming closer.

"Please, Skylar. Just listen to me. I know I fucked up but I can explain. I can explain everything."

I was just standing in the middle of my room, having internal debate if I should listen to him. I was breathing fast. I didn't know what to do. Let him feed me with all those sweet words and then leave me again? I was curious what he had to say though.

"Laura, leave us for a minute, please. " I said quietly but didn't glance at both of them.

I heard her sigh slightly but she did as I asked. I could sense that she didn't like this but I have to hear him out.

"Skylar, I'm so sorry. I really am." He made some steps forward but I stepped away from him. "Please, just look at me."

I didn't move. My arms wrapped around my body tighter. It all is so fucking confusing. On the one hand, I want to jump for joy when I see that he has come to me, he wants to explain everything to me, and that would mean that he cares about me at least a little bit. But on the other hand, how can I be sure that he doesn't want to trap me again? How do I know if it is not just for show?

"Baby, please."

Shit, damn this boy

I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, slowly lifting up my head, so our eyes could meet.

"Don't call me that." I said, gritting my teeth.

He had a downcast expression on his face. Like my words hurt him. I didn't feel good with that but he had to know that he maxed out on that.

"Look I know that you are upset but I...th- fuck. I'm trying to say that you mean to me more than you can ever imagine." He stated, desperation clear in his voice.

"Yeah, clearly." I scolded.

He came up closer.

"I don't know what's going on with me but the only thing I know is that I can't stay away from you. I can't focus on any goddamn thing! I think about you all the time. When I wake up, when I'm in the middle of a very important meeting, and when I go to sleep. You consume my every though. I almost-"

"Are you even listening to yourself? You say all those things and do totally opposite." I interrupted him.

"I know but...." He was running his hands through his hair nervously.
"Skylar, you have to understand that I'm not good at relationships. All I did was just fuck a different girl every night. I didn't care about anyone until I met you. I just got scared and didn't know what to do and fuck...I still don't. I've never felt that way about anyone!"

He was breathing fast. His chocolate eyes bore into mine, in which water began to already collect.

"Please don't cry. "

"You hurt me Ace. You left me there and-" I sobbed. "I felt so humiliated and used and I..." I was crying now and couldn't make a proper sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess now."

I'm so pathetic. I shouldn't be apologising to him. Ace came up to me and hesitantly grabbed my face with both his hands. I didn't remove them. I needed to feel his touch. His warm skin on mine.

"Skylar, the only person who has to apologise is me. I feel so guilty that I caused those tears on that beautiful face of yours." He said softly. I put my hands on his and sobbed slightly.

"What do you want from me, Ace?" I almost whispered, feeling completely lost in his eyes.

"You. All of you. I want to hold you in my arms, watch sunsets with you, take you on those stupid dates-" He chuckled and I let out a small chuckle too."-buy you flowers and do whatever normal couples do. But can I ask you a favour?"

I nodded my head almost instantly.

"Just please be patient with me, okay? That's all I'm asking for. I'm not a good guy but I'll try to be one. For you."

I was glaring up at him. He was so beautiful. I've never met someone that perfect. Maybe that's how it should be? Maybe it's not a good idea to give him a chance because he will find out that I'm not that cool or...pretty as he thinks I am. Sooner or later, he will just leave me. Again.

But you can't let him go

"Stop overthinking, princess." His thumb was making circles on my left cheek.

"Okay." I whispered.

"Okay what?"

"I'll give you a chance, but Ace...if you get bored of me, just tell me. Don't cheat, don't lie, that's all I am asking for."

A boyish smile played on his lips, showing his dimples. He looked genuinely happy.

"I promise. Although I don't think I'll ever get bored of you." He put his one hand on my waist pulling me closer to his hard chest while his other hand was still on my cheek. "You just made me so happy, you have no idea."

He was smiling down at me fondly and I couldn't help but smile too. He pressed his forehead against mine, and I could feel his steady breath on my skin.

"I want to kiss you so badly right now."

I was gazing into his hypnotising eyes, and bit down on my lip. His eyes followed my movement.

"Then what's stopping you?" I whispered and Ace's lips were instantly on mine.

They were so soft and were moving against mine in sync. I put my hands in his silky hair, tugging it slightly, earning a groan which escaped his throat.

"God, I've missed you." He said against my lips, before reconnectig them again. "Did you miss me, Skylar?"

"Mhm" I hummed, not being able to say anything because his lips were so addictive. His tongue licking my bottom lip and taking it between his teeth. I felt his grip on my waist tighten.

"Say it." He demanded, with a hint of darkness in his voice.

"I've missed you too, Ace." I replied softly. My eyes barely open.

"Fuck, I like hearing you saying my name, princess."

He pecked my lips a few times and we were standing in the middle of my room, just holding each other.

*******

"You did not!"

I was laughing so hard. Ace and I were lying on my bed, talking about some random stuff and cuddling.

"I just...it was absolutely disgusting that I had to spit it out. "

"But you didn't have to do that into that poor woman's bag!"

My stomach was literally hurting from laughter. It was good to spend some time with him, get to know each other better.

When we calmed down a little, my head was lying on Ace's chest. He was holding me tight in his strong arms and his one hand was making circles on my arm, while fingers of the other one was intertwined with mine.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course." He said and looked down at me with a reassuring smile.

"Why did you drop out of university?"

He took a deep breath, not saying anything for a moment. I could feel his beating heart under my cheek.

"When my father died he...willed his all companies and clubs to me. I've always helped him run his business so it wasn't something new to me. I decided that if I had all of this, studies wouldn't be necessary. Besides, even if I wanted to continue my studies, I wouldn't have time for that. I work quite a lot." He shrugged.

I wanted to ask him another question but I didn't know if I'd cross the line. It can be something that he doesn't want to talk about. But we are in a relationship right? We should know things like that. Wait, are we even in a relationship? He didn't ask me to be his girlfriend after all. Or maybe I should do it?

Fuck no

"What's going through that pretty head of yours?" Ace's deep voice brought me out of my thoughts. His hand stroking my hair slowly.

"I just...what happened to your dad, Ace?" I asked softly. He inhaled sharply and he gripped my waist tighter. "It's okay, I'm sorry. You will tell me another time. Or never. We don't have to talk about everything and-"

He shut me up by putting his delicious lips on mine. It's a good thing that I'm lying down because I'd probably faint.

"I will tell you, I promise, but not today."

And I just nodded.

"Ace?"

"Hm?"

"W-what are we now?" I asked, feeling a little hesitant.

He put his two fingers under my chin and lifted it up.

"You're my girlfriend. If you want to, of course. You will be mine and only mine." Ace said in a deep voice, licking his lips. His eyes became a bit darker.

"Soo, if I say yes, that will mean that you're...mine too?" I blurted out. His lips tugged in the corners and he nodded his head.

"I'm already yours, princess."

My stomach flipped at his words. He is mine. Ace is mine. God, how did I get so lucky?

I slowly raised myself on my elbows and kissed him softly. I love feeling his mouth against mine. They always seem to fit perfectly. Just when I wanted to pull away, he put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss. I sighed into his mouth, feeling heat washing to my toes.

Oh boy


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