Staying up all night, I came up with a conclusion.

I've decided to just let things be, let things go with the flow.

There's a saying, you will cross the bridge when you get to it.

Meaning I would know what to do when I saw Cohen, things would work out between us, mostly me, I supposed.

That's all you can come up with after a whole night?

Yes. That's all I can come up with after a whole night. Don't judge me.

I only had two same classes with him on Wednesday - Calculus and Gym, and both of them were after lunch time, that meant I had a whole morning to get my thoughts clear.

I trudged my way to the noisy hallway and I met Shelley at our lockers.

She shut her locker's door while I entered the combination for my lock, she leaned against her own locker and was examining at me. After a few seconds, she finally asked, "Are you okay?"

I turned to look at her for a brief second before opening my locker, "Am I not okay?"

"You just seem..." she paused, searching for a right word to describe me, "different."

"Different? Different how?" I said taking out my History textbook and notebook.

"I don't know, just... your eyes." Shelley looked at me with her narrowed eyes, and she was observing me carefully.

I broke the eye contact with her, because I feel like the longer she looked t me, the sooner she would get my secret out of me. I asked playing dumb, "My eyes?"

"Yeah, the look of your eyes seem so different to me." She tilted her head, searching for my eyes again, and when she finally did, she looked into my eyes like she was looking through my soul.

"So are you okay?" She sounded worried.

I am not okay, Shelley, I am totally not, but I can't tell you that...

I faked a smile, "I'm better than okay." Sorry, I lied.

Shelley was still looking at me, she knew I was lying, she was my best friend, how could she not see it when I was lying, but she would never push me to talk to her. A simple 'Okay' was all she said, but I won't lie that my heart stung hearing the hurtful tone in her voice.

I'm sorry, Shelley. I really wanted to tell you everything, but I just can't.

I just hope after I get rid of my feelings on Cohen, and if I never talked about it to anyone, I can pretend like this feeling never even existed, like it isn't real.

If I ever got rid of it...

I tried to focus on the History teacher, but my mind was too occupied to pay attention in the class.

I was very nervous about seeing Cohen later, though part of me was eager and looking forward to the Calculus and Gym class, hoping time could fly faster.

-

At lunch, I was joined by Rion at the end of the line while I was queuing up to buy lunch for Shelley and I.

"Hi, Carys." He greeted me with a big smile on his adorable face.

"Hey, Rion." I returned him a small smile. I felt guilty, but I wasn't in a really good mood since yesterday.

"So yesterday, did Mr. Cassidy talk to you about the summer camp?"

Oh, right! That summer camp Mr. Cassidy told me about yesterday. I totally forgot about it. Where did I put that pamphlet again?

I nodded slightly and replied, "Yeah, he did."

"So are you guys going?"

"I haven't asked my mom yet, but mostly I'll go." I needed to go, to be honest, and I didn't think my mother would say no too. "But I don't know about Shelley."

"Okay." He smiled lightly then the smile disappeared, replaced by a nervous look, his voice shaking a little, "Can I ask you a question?"

I chuckled when I took two trays and passed him one, "You just did."

"Oh, yeah, sorry." He apologized made him even cuter.

He looked nervous, so I decided to encourage him a bit. "What is it? That you want to ask me?"

He let out a breath before saying, "I was wondering, would you like to hang out with me, today, after school?"

He was asking me to hang out with him after school today? That was totally out of my any expectations.

"It's just hanging out?" I asked as I put two egg-mayo sandwiches onto my tray, I was too distracted at this moment to look at what's in front of me.

"Yeah." He nodded lightly, "I wished it could be a date though, but I don't want to pressure you."

A date? He wanted to ask me out, on a date? How on earth would that happen?

If he asked me before yesterday, I might say yes, but I wasn't sure I could go out with him, and considered it a date between us, not after I just realized I was in love with Cohen.

"If it's just hanging out, I'm okay with that," I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I really can't do a date, "but if it's a date, I don't think I can..."

"It's okay," He cut me off, "it's not a date, like I said, just hanging out."

If it's just hanging out, then I guessed there's nothing wrong with it. "Okay."

"Okay, great. I will pick you up at 4." His smile finally found its way back to his pretty face.

And mine, I had a thought that it has lost in the woods, so in a short period of time, you wouldn't see a smile on my face.

Now I have another problem to wonder, why would Rion want to ask me out on a date? Did he like me? But I always thought if he liked one of us between Shelley and I, it would be Shelley and not me. He just never gave me an impression that he was interested in me.

Wait. Amelia.

If I went out with Rion after school, that meant I couldn't be there to babysit Amelia. That also meant I have to talk to her brother about it. Damn it.

-

During Calculus class, I finally caught a glimpse at Cohen for the first time since the school started, it was just a glimpse because when I stepped into the classroom, I saw him sitting at the back corner talking to Mason, I panicked at the sight of him and immediately sat down in the front row on the right hand side which was the seat closest to the door, but it never stopped the butterflies messing in my stomach.

Why did I act like an immature teenage girl like I was crushing on Cohen? This was definitely not normal.

After Calculus was Gym class, and we were playing volleyball.

Man, I hated volleyball, and vice versa.

The last time I played volleyball, it was a nightmare, I didn't even want to count how many time I got hit by the volleyball on my head, my face, my body, my hands, my legs, literally there's no part that hadn't been hit by it.

Volleyball must hate my guts.

"Shelley Morrison, Jennifer Lloyd, Mason McWay, Angelo Vasquez, Tiana Wilson, Oliver Parker, you are in the same team," the coach sang the names out loud for the first match, "Andrew Mitchell, Sierra Munoz, Nathan James, Dolores Garcia, Cohen Kane, Carys Blake, you are the other team."

Not only I had to play against the volleyball expert, Shelley Morrison, I was in the same team with Cohen.

I should've called for sick today, but it's too late now.

"Please don't throw the ball into my face, Shell." I was practically begging her because out of every other part, getting hit on the face, hurt the most.

"I can promise you that I won't pass the ball into your direction, Car, but I can't promise if the ball is not in my control." She said in a sorry tone.

I sighed. All I could do was sighed. Someone please dig a hole for me, so that I could jump into it when I got hit by a ball and was too embarrassed to see Cohen.

Since when I would feel embarrassed in front of Cohen?

Since when you found out you love him.

Love really turned you into another person, wasn't it?

I was in total preparation, both physically and mentally, that I would get bruises all over my body and my self-esteem.

Coach blew his whistle after we were all in our position, signalling us the game has started.

Mason was the one to serve the ball, and the ball was flying into my direction, my mind went blank and before I could react, someone behind me had passed the ball for Sierra to set and Nathan to attack, and that someone behind me, was Cohen.

The match was over when Shelley's team scored 25, and I was in full piece, no bruises, no need to jump into any holes, because whenever a ball was finding its way to embarrass me, Cohen stopped it and helped me had my revenge on it.

See, volleyball, I can finally have my vengeance, you loser!

It wasn't my fault that volleyball and I hated each other that much, we just never got along since I was born.

The coach allowed us who played for the first match to get some rest on the audience seats of the hall, while calling for the names to play the second match.

Shelley and I rushed to the audience seats to get some rest while gasping for air, I used a lot of energy to dodge the volleyball.

I saw Cohen and Mason were slowly walking towards our direction with two bottles of waters in both of their hands.

Ignoring his radiance that made me gasped for more air, I knew I had reached the bridge, and now, all I needed to do was to cross it.

Mason sat beside Shelley passing her one of the bottles, Shelley took it from him and smiled.

"Thanks." I could see there's some pain behind the smile, and the way she looked at Mason, was telling him that she loved him but at the same time also trying to hide her feelings.

"You did a pretty great job out there, we won because of you." Mason never realized that his warmness was definitely killing Shelley right now.

"No, we won because we were a great team..."

The two of them were now engaged in a conversation that I totally not interested in.

Meanwhile, Cohen approached me and sat down on my left before passing me the water.

Take a breath, and cross the bridge.

"Thanks," I faked a smile at him while taking the bottle over, I was too tensed right now to have a genuine smile.

"Thanks for the water or saving your life?" He smirked with a smug look on his face, the smug face that I loved.

I drank some water to cool down myself before replying him, "For both, but mostly for saving my life."

Did I just cross the bridge? That was easy.

The smug look was still there, "You're welcome."

I felt my face getting warmer as I saw from the corner of my eyes that he was still staring at me, I turned to face him, which was a totally wrong move, because my face definitely resembled a tomato right now as my eyes met with his.

His eyes were like magical pool, like he could absorb my soul just looking at me.

I swallowed some water and tried to ease my speeding heartbeat, "Wh-What are you doing?"

"Carys..." The way he said my name, made me felt like I was in heaven.

"Huh?"

"When are you going to start tutoring me?"

"When do you want to start?"

"Today?"

"I can't do today, I am going out with Rion." I said without filtering the words before saying it. When I realized what I said, it was too late to take back my words.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Just the two of you?"

"Yes, just the two of us..." I quickly observed the changes of Cohen's face expression.

The melting smile has faded from his face, his jaw clenched, and I saw there's anger in his piercing eyes that disappear in a split second.

Was he angry? Why?

Did he care about me going out with a boy, alone?

Did he care about me?

If he did, did that mean he might have some feelings for me?

If he did, did that mean there's hope between the two of us?

No way, Carys, remember what you saw yesterday?

Don't give yourself some hopeless hopes again, Carys Blake.

I ignored the voice in my head, trying to search for some answers in Cohen's eyes, but he looked away after a few seconds.

"Then we'll start tomorrow." He said in a monotone, so lack of emotions as if he was trying to hide something, some feelings. 

But I was too afraid to think too much.