It was nearly 9pm when Cohen dropped me home, and I was welcomed by two bright grins.
One was my mother, another one was Shelley.
Why would Shelley come? She knew I was going to Disneyland with Cohen and Amelia.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Shelley.
She shrugged. "Hanging out with Michelle."
Yes. Shelley was really closed to my mother and she called her by her first name, Michelle.
Her gaze was fixed on the bouquet of roses Cohen bought me, "So, roses, what happened? Tell me everything!" She was excited.
"Cohen bought these." I said placing the flowers on the kitchen table.
My mother emerged with a vase and she sounded really surprised, "Cohen bought you these?"
I nodded, "Yeah, but there's nothing between us." I quickly made a clarification before they could jump into a conclusion. "He was just helping the lady buying some flowers from her."
"I don't think so." Shelley shook her head.
"What do you know?"
"These are roses! Red fucking roses."
"What about it?"
My mom was putting the roses into the vase while saying, "Honey, sweetheart, do you know there's different meaning behind every color of roses? And different number of roses he bought you, has different meaning as well."
Shelley's grin became wider, "How many roses he got you?"
"Six." I counted and said.
Shelley took out her phone and Googled. "Let's see, one means 'love at first sight', two roses mean mutual..."
"Shelley, just skip to six..." My mom cut her off.
"Okay, six means, the need to be loved and cherished." Shelley looked at her phone and said.
My mom smiled, "Oh, that's so sweet of him."
"Mom, I'm sure that's not what he means."
"How do you know? Maybe he is..." Shelley was still looking at her phone.
"Okay," I cleared my throat, "There's no meaning behind this bouquet of roses, I can assure you, there's no way Cohen will feel that way about me."
"You don't know that, honey..." Apparently my mother also thought that there's some reasons Cohen bought me the flowers.
"What if he really..." I didn't know what Shelley was talking about because I interrupted her.
I covered my ears with both of my hands. "Nope, nope, not listening, I am going to take a bath and go to bed, I am so tired."
I left the kitchen and went upstairs to my room, but I still can hear Shelley's screeching behind me, "Yeah, I will keep on hanging out with your mom down here. For your information, I am staying here tonight, I personally really looking forward to some girls talk later, so your plan about getting sleep, that's not gonna happen."
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After I got out from my quick shower, I saw Shelley was making an extra bed.
"Where the hell did you get that?" I looked at the extra bed and asked.
"Your mom said I can take it from the guest room, and she has gone to bed already."
"Yeah I know. She has morning shift tomorrow."
"Yeah, I will try my best to lower down my voice, in case I wake your mom." She said lying down on the bed.
I walked to the switches beside the door, switched off the main light and switched on the night light before lying down on my bed.
Here's another weird fact about me, I was afraid to sleep in dark, I need a night light or else I would stay up all night and couldn't get asleep. I wasn't afraid of the dark though, just afraid of sleeping in the dark, there's a big difference between the two of them.
"So, do you have a crush on Cohen?" Shelley asked as soon as I laid on my bed.
Crush? Did I have a crush on Cohen? That was the question I asked myself everyday.
And I've already had an answer in me a long time ago.
I didn't have a crush on him, well, at least I wouldn't call him my crush, because to me, he was already more than a crush.
I knew I liked him, a lot, and I always knew, I would fall in love with him eventually, it's just the matter of time.
At school, as much as he's every girl's dream boy, he was also the school well-known play boy, one of the bad boys that goes to every party he's been invited, slept with every girl who flirted with him, he's the best guy for one night stand for sure, but not the guy you should fall in love with. However, throughout all these years babysitting his little sister, I've got chances to spend more time with him, and these chances made me saw the side of him that people at school never saw, his caring side, his sweet side, his real side.
That's why I have always been so afraid to jump to a conclusion after some good gestures of him towards me, I didn't want to give myself any hopes, I didn't want to have hopes that I knew they were hopeless in the deepest corner of my heart.
I always see myself as his sister's babysitter, and I always thought I wouldn't be anything more than that.
But he bought me roses today, at Disneyland. Why? Why did he do it? Why?
Did he really mean it? The need to be loved and cherished? Was he in love with me? He wanted to cherish me?
Part of me really wanted to believe him, but what if he didn't mean anything and was really just helping the lady out? I don't want to give myself hopes and later found out the heartbreaking truth, I don't think I could ever handle that.
But on the other hand, what if he did really mean it?
"I know you're not asleep, Carys," Shelley was probably running out of patience, "but if you don't wanna talk about it, just don't. It's fine. Just... I hope you can be happy, Carys, I've always wanted you to be happy."
I knew what she meant, that's all I wanted for my only best friend too. To be happy.
"I want you to be happy as well," I finally said, "I want you to be the happiest girl in the world."
"Will I ever be?" Shelley sounded very depressed all in a sudden.
I didn't know what I was expecting Shelley to answer me, but I never assumed that she would ever sound so depress.
I turned to look at her, and even surprised to see that she was already in tears. I sat up from my bed and get down to hers, wrapped my arms around her shoulders, "Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
She burst into tears while saying, "Nothing happened. Nothing happened. That's the problem."
"Is it about Mason?" I was hesitating whether or not I should talk about his name, I was afraid she would cry harder, but I also hoped that she might want to talk to me about how she felt, so I asked.
She just simple nodded, that's a good sign, that meant she wanted to talk about it, "What is it about Mason, Shell?"
She wiped off some of her tears and started saying, "I think I might have fallen in love with him, Car, I don't know what to do. I know I've always had a crush on him, you know, an average girl who has a crush on the school's hottest guy? That's normal, right?"
Shelley placed her stare at me and I nodded, then she turned back to staring at the wall and continued, "that was before I know him in person. I thought he'd be cocky and-and, cool, I thought he was a hard person to get close to. But after knowing him in person, you know the truth. He is so easygoing, he is so nice, he is the opposite of what people at school labelled him, he is not a bad boy, not at all."
That one I agreed. Because it's the same on Cohen's case as well. He may be a troublemaker, but he wasn't a bad boy, as far as I could tell.
"You know, he has never flirted with me, not even once. I couldn't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. If he never flirted with me, is it because he respected me or he never thought of me that way? I don't know how, but I fell in love with him. Carys, what do I do now?"
I didn't know how to answer her. I was not the best person that she could ask for advice right now, because I might just got myself into the exact same situation as hers.
"I am sorry, Shell, but I don't know."
"It's okay." She had stopped sobbing, and her smile found its way back on her pretty face, "I'm just glad I finally told someone how I really feel about Mason, it's hard keeping it all to myself, and I totally understand that if you don't want to talk about you and Cohen, but remember this, I'll always be here."
"I know you will." I smiled and gave her a hug before slipping back to my own bed.
"Good night, Car."
"Sweet dreams, Shell."
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I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to update, I am very busy lately and don't have much free time to write. >.<
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