I felt the sun on me, I opened my eyes slowly. I turned to my side and saw CJ sitting up and staring at me. He gave me a smile and I smiled back at him. "What time is it?" I asked him. 

"Around nine," he told me. I quickly got up, I covered my breasts when I realized we were still on top of the roof, "no one is going to see you," he told me removing my hands. I nodded my head, I grabbed my jacket and threw it on. Now I just have to find my pants to get out of here. I grabbed my phone from where I had left it, but it was dead.

"You have to take me home, my mom is probably worried sick," I told him, "plus I need to pack some extra things," he nodded his head. He was seated calmly as if nothing around him was happening. I seemed to be the only one in a rush to get out of here. I got up and looked around grabbing my pants. I then put them on, I looked over at CJ. He moved his hair out of his face, I was going to miss him.

It just hit me that I was actually going to be leaving, I would not see him nor Justin again. The two of them have changed my life so much, Justin would be leaving in a few weeks for Rhode Islands and CJ would be staying here. He did not want to leave home for school which surprised me since he could literally go to any school he wanted. "You ready?" He asked getting up, I nodded my head. He grabbed his phone and key putting them in his pocket.

"Um... we need to go to a pharmacy before I go home," I told him. 

"Why?" He asked me.

"Morning after pill," I said. It all seemed clearer now, I did not want to risk this, my whole future was based on the fact that I would not get pregnant. I can't play soccer if  I am plus I am way to young to be having kids.

"You don't have to worry about that," he told me.

"Don't want to take the chance, so please drive me there or I can go once I get home," I told him. He bit his lip and looked at me. He sighed and passed his hands through his hair. "So?" I asked him to see what he decided. 

"Um..." I don't know why he was thinking about this so much. Was he against the pill or something? He never mentioned it, I raised my eyebrow. "I can't have kids," he blurted out. 

"What?" I asked him, "why?" I did not know why I asked that. It was a stupid question, "what happened?" I asked him again. He never told me that before. I thought I knew him, I gave him a sorry face.

"I had a vasectomy," he told me. I paused making sure I processed what he told me. He purposely robbed himself the ability to have kids. Why would he do that? That's so stupid, so many people want kids and can't have them.

"Why would you do that?" I questioned him. "You can't just decide you don't want kids. You're too young to decide that, you made a mistake and what stupid doctor agrees to perform a vasectomy on an eighteen-year-old anyway?" I asked. I did not know why I was so angry with the idea he could not have kids. "I can't believe you, Christopher," I told him huffing. I did not want to hear his reasons, what sane reason would he have for doing that to himself.

"I'm eighteen, not a baby," he told me. "I am fully capable of making decisions on my life," he told me. 

"So what?" I asked him, "you decide you don't want kids now and you stop yourself from having them at all?" I asked again, "that's why condoms exist, what you did is permanent, do you realize that?" I asked him.

"I do, I'm not stupid, Bianca," he said. 

"You're acting like it."

"I'm stupid for making a decision about my life you do not like?" He inquired, he huffed and shook his head. "I do not expect you to understand it or try to imagine how it would feel like if my children..." he stopped.

"If your children what?" I asked him. 

He looked at me and sighed, "mental illness runs in my family," he said. I gave him an apologetic look. I should not have called him stupid, "I won't be able to live with myself if my kids are born with it and they end suffering all their lives or even ending it," he said. "I just want it to stop."

"CJ, I'm sorry," I told him. "I wasn't thinking about that," I said. "But, just because it runs in your family does not mean you or they will get it and you know that," I said. He still chose to do it despite him knowing it's less than a fifty percent chance of his kids having a mental illness. "It's still a bad decision and I will not support you on it."

"Support me, I don't care; what I do in and with my life should not be your business," he said, but somehow, I felt as if it were. "Tell me, Bianca," he started, "how does me not wanting kids affect you and why do you care?"

"Well," I did not even have a valid and logical reason. It should not be my business. 

"Yeah," he said playing with his hands. "What would you say if I told you I did not want you to leave?" He asked me.

"That's selfish and it's my life, I can do whatever I want with it."

"Mhmm," he said shaking his head. "I'll take you home," I nodded my head. He went towards the ladder and got down. I watched him as he walked to the car, I got down also. He was seated in the driver's side waiting for me. I climbed on board, he turned the music on indicating he did not want to talk about anything. 

The ride was silent, before I knew it I was in front of my house. My mom came out of the house, her hands were crossed over her chest. I groaned, I knew she was about to yell how irresponsible I am. I didn't know why my mom could not realize I was eighteen and can do whatever I want. CJ can do whatever he wants, I stopped thinking about it when I remembered that he lived alone and he actually had a job. I was about to open the door to leave when I felt his hand on me, I stopped and looked at him.

He reached in the back seat and handed me a box. I opened it to see a pair of Nike sandals, I raised my eyebrow as to why he gave me sandals. "It's for California," he told me, "when you're not practicing or playing."

I smiled, "thank you," I told him. 

"You should go, your mom looks really upset. Do you want me to talk to her for you?"

"No, I'm grown," I said. He smiled and I opened the door getting out.

"Young lady, what have I told you about spending the night-"

"I don't want to hear it, mom, I only have a few hours left here, I don't want to argue with you," I said passing her and walking inside. I already had an argument with CJ and I felt horrible about it. I ran up the stairs and into my room closing the door making sure I locked it. I was really bold with her and I know she will need a few minutes to cool down. I sat on my bed my mind wondering to the night I just had. 

I wish we had not spoken this morning and left it to what happened. Somehow he made me feel safe and he was the first person I ever cared about that much. I got up and opened my luggage, I did not want to think too hard about this. I wanted to put the sandal inside with the box, but of course, it would not fit. I took it out of the box and put it in. I was about to toss the box when I noticed the card inside.

I took it taking a seat on my bed, it was a note indeed from CJ. 

I only waited to come to see you until now because I was hoping you would have changed your mind by now about leaving. If you are reading this now, I guess you did not change your mind. I just want you to know you will be great at whatever your next chapter in life will bring you because you're Bianca. I cannot wait to watch all your games as you kick ass on the field. 

I was afraid to tell you this because I end up losing everyone around me. But, what the heck? I love you, Precious, thank you so much for coming into my life. I lost my mom this year, but somehow you still made it the best year of my life.

Anyways, it does not matter. Bye and enjoy the next chapter because life is short.

Love,

Christopher James