"I am afraid I have some bad news," the doctor started off. "Um..." he paused the words unable to come out of his mouth. He turned and looked at me, from his facial expression, I could already tell this was more than bad news. "Your mom died." 

I felt like my heart broke into two pieces, I expected him to say something like that. I knew no bad news was good news, but I did not expect him to say it like that. He could have been a little nicer with his words; who am I kidding? There is no way you can make death sound nice. No matter how he would say it, it would still be death. I did not know what to say or do, I never been around someone before when they were just told that a family member was dead. I watched as the doctor gulped down and looked down at the folder that he was holding. He then looked back up at CJ, "there was an incident," he started.

I guess he had to explain what happened, maybe he should have done that before dropping a bomb like that. I turned and looked at CJ, who seemed to have frozen in his state. He did not move nor say a word. The doctor continued to ramble on about what happened, I did not care to listen. CJ's face was still looking at him as if he was interested in the details associated with the death. "She used the fabrics of her clothes," that's when I bought my attention back to him.

"Stop talking," I told the doctor. I've never seen someone describe something in so much detail. As if he did not know that after finding out you lost someone, you did not necessarily care about it. Maybe later questions would come, but right now all CJ needed from him was sorry and possibly a hug. The doctor looked at me and nodded his head, he looked at CJ giving him an apologetic face.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he told him. He patted his shoulder gently and walked down the hallway. CJ still hadn't moved or said a thing. I touched his arm gently. He turned and looked at him. His facial expression was mask with nothing but pain, hurt and sadness.

I gave him an apologetic face, he did not say nor do anything, I pulled him into a hug not saying anything. He did not bother to return the warm embrace, I do not know what I would do without my mom so I cannot begin to imagine how he may be feeling. We stayed like that for what seemed forever, it was the only thing I knew how to do. What were the right words to say, what was the right way to act?
~~~~~~~
I opened the door quietly not wanting to wake my mom. It was late and she should be in bed by now. I spent the afternoon with CJ, he still had not spoken a word about how he feels. Perhaps he himself did not know what to say. He wanted to hear what happened from the doctor so we did that. I did not know how he survived hearing that story. A tear fell down my face as he talked about it, what made it worse was the amount of pain she must have felt before dying. She hung herself so she had to feel herself suffocating, feel herself lose her last breath as the cord tighten around her neck.

I shook the thought out and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I heard footsteps coming closer to the kitchen, I sure hope I was not the reason my mom was up. "Young lady, where were you?" She asked me. I gulped down my water about to explain the situation when she proceeded to talk. "Bianca, I don't know what has gotten into you. You can't come back at this hour without telling me where you are. CJ is a good kid and I know that, but you guys can't be together that late. Are you guys having sex?" She questioned crossing her hands over her chest.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I chose not to answer her latter question. "We were at the hospital, CJ's mom, unfortunately, passed away," I added. I was not sure if passed away was the right word to use. 

"What?!" She yelled. I nearly went deaf, I nodded my head. "What happened?" She asked.

"Suicide," I answered her.

"Oh my God, how is CJ doing?"

"The same way anyone is doing after finding out your mom's dead," I answered her. She must've understood, my mom also lost her parents at a young age.

"Okay, I will go visit him tomorrow, how are you doing?" She asked me this time.

"I'm fine," I told her. "You should go to bed, you have your big meeting tomorrow," she nodded her head giving me a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, we both should go to bed. It's been a long day, we will talk more about this tomorrow." I nodded my head and watched as she started to exit the kitchen.

"Mom?" I called her. She was quick to turn around waiting for what I had to say. "I love you," I said.

"I love you too, hun," she said with a smile. She then went on her way, she probably did not see the big deal of me saying that, but I did. What happened made me realize that someday my mom might be gone and I would be so mad if we were not on good terms. Death was inevitable. It could happen anytime, to anyone, and however.
~~~~~~~~
"She was one in a million, her smile could light up an entire room, she loved everyone and went out of her way to make everyone's day special. Mental illness did not stop her, she was a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend."  The man I had yet to meet said. He must have been a friend of the family or something. My mom and I stood in the back saddened by the tragedy. It was a small gathering with family and friends I guess. I could see CJ from the front, we hadn't talked much. I still did not know what to say and I felt like an annoyance to him. "Today we say goodbye to her, although she is gone, she will never be forgotten," The man said making me bring back my attention to him. "Now we will pass on to Mr. Wright for a few words."

I thought CJ was going to go up there but it was not him. A tall man with the same dark hair and green eyes went up there. I was guessing it was his father, "through her, I learned what love is," he started.

"I'm sorry for your loss," a lady said shaking CJ's hand. He smiled and nodded his head. He seemed annoyed,  I walked to him giving him a small smile. I did not want to seem to excited even though I was excited to see him. I just wish it was under a different circumstance. He returned the small smile, but it seemed fake.

"How are you doing?" I asked him. He was about to answer when the man came and stood next to him. "Hi," I told him. "I'm Bianca," I added.

"Hi Bianca," he said back. "I'm Mike, Christopher's old man," he said. He handed me his hand to shake and I did just that. "Thank you for coming," I nodded my head. He then left, CJ stood there not saying anything else.

"Ms. Brun was asking for you," I told him. School started a week ago and he has not been going. Ms. Brun was aware of the death and apologized for not being able to come. "So, when are you coming back to school?" I questioned. I was hoping he would enjoy talking about something either than his mom committing suicide.

"I don't know," he answered, "probably not going to," he said. I raised my eyebrow, he couldn't just stop coming to school. "I just need a break for a few days," I nodded my head understanding.

"That's fine," I told him.

"Yeah," he put his hands inside his pockets, we stood silent for a while. "I should go," he added after a while. I nodded my head, I leaned in and gave him a small hug. After I watched as he left and went with his dad.