"Eight." You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to block out the light. "Eight, time to wake up."

"What?" you grumbled, sitting up slowly only to realize you had been leaning on Five's shoulder. "Oh, I, uh..."

"Yeah, no worries," Five said, his cheeks turning slightly red as he cleared his throat. "I better head inside." He opened the car door, but you grabbed his sleeve.

"Hey, wait... I don't get to come with?"

Five laughed under his breath, then cleared his throat again when he realized you were serious.

"This doesn't concern you. It's kind of a... one man job," he said, flashing you his trademark smile before he walked off.

"Great," you mumbled with a sigh, leaning your head against the window.

When he arrived at the car ten minutes later, he looked furious.

"All right there, pal?" you asked, turning on the radio.

"I'm not a young man," he spit, turning it off.

"Yeah, you've definitely got the grumpy old guy vibes going strong for you," you said, rolling your eyes and turning it on again. "Huh - that sounded like Klaus. He might be rubbing off on me a bit too much," you mused.

Five clenched his jaw, hand hovering over the button, before he froze.

"Klaus," he muttered. "Klaus will do anything for money."

"What's your plan now?" you questioned him. "Because, I mean, it's pretty clear your last one didn't work."

When you arrived back to The Umbrella Academy, you started to get out of the car before Five held out his hand.

"Stay here - I'll be right back."

After a while, you grew impatient, walking into the house and following the sound of Klaus' voice. When you finally reached them at the top of the stairway, you wished you hadn't.

Klaus snapped his fingers.

"Oh my God, the sex was amazing."

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain," Five commented, fixing his tie as he turned to descend the stairs, bumping straight into you.

"Hey, don't make me put you in time out!" Klaus called as Five awkwardly shuffled backward, and you did the same only to find thin air beneath your foot.

"Whoa-"

"Ah, shit." Five flashed behind you, catching you under your arms before your head smacked the wood. "Sorry. You all right?"

"Ooh, little Five, knocking girls off their feet. At such a young age, too!" Klaus exclaimed, pushing past you both.

Five glared at him, and you let out a heavy sigh.

"I told you to stay in the car."

"Yeah, well, I got bored," you fired back, turning to follow Klaus. "Now what are we about to do?"

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"Like I said to your son earlier, any information we hold about the prosthetics we built is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I can't give you a name. And I'm really not sure why you dragged your daughter into this," the doctor said, his gaze flicking to you briefly before settling on Klaus again.

You scoffed, and Five leaned over the table, closer to the man.

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name," he said, his tone urgent.

"That's not my problem. Sorry, but there's really nothing else I can do, so-"

"What about my consent?" Klaus asked before the doctor could stand up.

"Excuse me?"

You and Five looked at Klaus and then each other, confused.

"Who gave you permission..." Klaus trailed off, sobbing quietly, "to lay your hands on my children?"

"What?" you, Five, and the doctor all said in unison.

"I didn't touch your kids."

"Oh, really?" Klaus said, tilting his head slowly. "Well, how did my son get that swollen lip, then?"

"But he doesn't have a swollen-"

Klaus swung his fist at Five's face, colliding with his mouth, and Five grunted. His hand met his lip and came away bloody, even as he smiled.

"And how on earth did my daughter get that black eye?" he continued, and you raised an eyebrow as Five stepped in front of him.

"Whoa, no. Enough," he said in a low voice, and you couldn't help but grin.

"Alright," Klaus said with a shrug, winking at you before he turned back to the man. "I want it. Name. Please. Now."

"You're crazy," he breathed, his gaze sweeping over Five's bloody lip.

"You've got no idea," Klaus said, chuckling. "'Peace on Earth'. That's so sweet," he said, inspecting a snow globe. He suddenly slammed it into his forehead, groaning when the glass shattered. It even took Five by surprise, but he glanced at you with a smile that seemed to say this guy is crazy, but it's hilarious. "God, that hurt."

The doctor stared at Klaus in disbelief for another moment before reaching for the phone.

"I'm calling securi-"

You snatched the phone, handing it to Klaus.

"What are you doing?" the man asked, standing up slowly.

Klaus sucked in a breath, somehow conjuring tears.

"There's been an assault... in Mr. Big's office, and we need security now." He paused, looking down at the phone. "Schnell!" he shouted before hanging up. He sighed. "Now, here's what's gonna happen, Grant."

"It's Lance," you corrected quietly, and Klaus shot you a glare.

"In about 60 seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door," he began, pointing to the entrance, "and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder, 'what the hell happened?". And we're gonna tell them that you..." He wrung his hands pitifully. "Beat the shit out of us." He let out a dramatic sob, before sighing contentedly and leaning forward. "You're going to do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you. Oh, my God, you're gonna get passed around like a..." He trailed off dramatically, straightening up again with a smile. "You're just - you're gonna do great, that's all I'm saying."

"Jesus, you really are a sick bastard," Lance spit, gripping the edge of the table.

"Thank you." Klaus spit, sending a shard of glass flying, before turning to you and Five. "How'd I do?"

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"Oh, that's strange," Lance said, scowling at a piece of paper.

"What is?" Five asked quickly, narrowing his eyes.

"Uh, the eye," he responded nervously, showing all of you the sheet. "It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."

"What? What do you mean?" you couldn't help but ask, stepping in front of Five.

"Well, uh, our logs that that the eye with that serial number..." he trailed off, squinting at the writing. "Wait, this can't be right. It says here that the eye hasn't even been manufactured yet." He looked up at you, his brows drawn together in concern. "Where did you get that eye?"

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"Well, this is not good," Five said, shoving his hands in his pockets as you walked outside the building.

"I was pretty good though, right?" Klaus asked eagerly. "'What about my consent, bitch?'" He laughed at his own joke, settling down on the stairs. You tuned their conversation out, trying to figure out what the hell was going on with that eye, but then Klaus wrapped an arm around your shoulders and settled you in between him and Five. "You know, I've just figured out why Five's always so uptight," he said, leaning over you and tapping him on the nose. Five jerked away, grimacing.

"Pray tell," you said, rolling your eyes, and Five scowled at you.

"He must be horny as hell!" A silence passed where you didn't move, suddenly very aware of the fact that Five's leg was touching yours. "All those years by himself. It's gotta screw with your head, being all alone."

Five clenched his jaw.

"Not here, Klaus."

"Why not? Oooh, is it because we're in front of E-"

"I wasn't alone," Five interrupted hastily, and you turned to face him.

"Oh? Go on," you said dryly, and he placed his chin in his hand.

"Her name was Delores." You scoffed, turning away even as you felt hot tears burning behind your eyes.

Stop it, you scolded yourself. You haven't cried before Five before, and you're not going to today. And anyway, you should be glad he had someone with him. He was alone because of you in the first place.

When you gained control of your feelings, you realized he was talking again.

"We were together for over thirty years."

You swallowed hard, standing abruptly.

"I think I'll wait in the car."

"Eight, wait!" Five called, standing up as well even as Klaus began to talk.

He flashed next to you, grabbing your shoulder.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked, frowning.

"To the car," you responded, trying to channel nonchalance. "Like I said five seconds ago."

You heard Klaus trail off behind you.

"Five? Eight?"

"Don't stop, just keep going," Five mumbled, taking your hand and leaping you to the car.

"Hey, hey, hey, what about my money?!"