I was searching for a beauty that turned heads,
To only realise one day
That thousands are capable to turn heads, but only you are capable to flutter my heart.
................................................
I knew a long time ago that the only place I deserve after death is hell, but trust me Elle. I didn't knew it was going to be because of you. Never.
....
"Excuse me, Sir!
A nurse called him with concern evident on her face.
But he sat there lost in his own world.
"Sir!!"
Only when she tapped his shoulder did his tired eyes looked up at her.
"Huh? What?"
"You wound is bleeding again...I need to clean it"
He looked down and nodded.
Making the nurse to go and get her supplies.
Trail of dried blood was getting cleaned by the cotton dub, but he looked least concerned.
His eyes only fixed on the person lying on the hospital bed, with tubes plugged in everywhere.
The rectangular glass window of the room only gave him access to her slight view, but it was enough for him to reflect on the reality of the situation.
The nurse expected him to wince as she operated without anaesthesia, but to her surprise, he looked inhuman.
His face was stone cold with eyes drowning in pools of regret.
Those hands were pressed together, clutching each other as if they were his only support.
His leg moving frantically, showing the anxiousness of his mind.
"Ash ...what did the doctor say?"
Lorena came towards him along with others.
Her voice sounded strained like she had shed her own share of tears.
Everyone surrounded him to ask for answers, but sadly he was burdened under his own weight of regret.
He was deaf to them and their interrogation.
"Tell me, Ash! Tell me what did you do!! I told you dammit! I told you to tell her everything!!
"You....you promised me you will keep her safe!"
She shook his entire frame in anger and that was when he listened to her frustrated cries.
His mouth opened but sadly no word left.
"She is carrying your child goddamit! How could you leave her to that witch!"
This time it was Jake, his cries echoing the silent halls of the hospital.
"You should be ashamed to call yourself her husband....she loved you like crazy...she rejected me just to be with an egoistic bastard like you! She.....she said she will always remain faithful to you....she loved you and you repay her love like this!"
His words hit the right nerve.
Ashton felt his world break down at his feet.
His lifeless eyes land on those bloodshot ones that made him ashamed of his selfish love.
"If anything happens to her....if ...I will fuc**** kill you!!"
Jake had now grabbed his collar and pushed him back.
To only make Ashton's numb body to land on the seats behind.
Lorena stopped Jake to only have him scream profanities at him.
"You don't deserve her! You are nothing in front of her!
You ass****!! You bas***!
Leave me Lorena..I will murder him today!!"
Ash had instead turned his back on everyone.
The nurse ran behind him but his steps refused to stop.
Getting out of the building, his legs gave out and he held onto a railing for support.
He was wrong.
His plans may have been successful but the cost associated has overweighted everything.
The day Veronica called him to her warehouse if he hadn't gone willingly to her...her men would have dragged him there.
If he didn't agree to her terms of letting her kidnap Elle, she would have shot him on the spot.
The kidnapping helped him get the pictures and inform the police.
He was able to prove that Veronica has kidnapped Elle with the intension of murder and property sham.
And the news was now all over the media.
The entire world now knew of Veronica Knight's ugly truths.
But sadly his victory has cost him everything.
His fire for revenge was quenched.
He was able to give justice to Elle's mom and thousands of others who get trapped in this illegal business of drugs.
But his heart....it was in shreds.
Control yourself, Ashton... it's fine...you are fine...
Our child...my....
Sobs silenced his next words as he punched a nearby wall to vent out his frustration.
The cemented wall had traces of his blood as he continued his madness.
Bone breaking sounds could be heard followed by numbness.
He continued punching non-stop.
When suddenly her smiling face came in front of his eyes.
Her earlier words echoing in his ears.
"You are hurting yourself Ash...please let me heal you.. please"
His punch stopped and he froze for a moment.
Her velvety voice, the only thing audible in his ears.
"I will fix you, my dear husband...I will fix you to immortality even if I have to break myself to perishability"
New tears escaped his eyes as he realised just how much true her words came out to be.
He destroyed her completely, and ir repairable
He was at fault....the only person to be blamed for this is he himself.
You are a murderer Ashton...you killed your own child....that innocent heart that just learned to beat...you killed it!!
The voices in his head made him grab onto his head.
His boots hit the gravel behind, with his mind in total turmoil.
"A person like you needs more help than I do"
Her earlier words ringing in his ears and he can't help hating himself more.
Oh, how right you were Elle...I needed help and you being selfless was the only one who tried soothing the heart of this monster.
But now....I killed our child Elle!!
I killed our Angel.
I deserve all the pain...all the suffering that you are going through,
A honking sound was heard in the background.
His hazy eyes took note of a car coming his way and giving him dippers.
His shaking legs managed to sidestep on time.
To only have the driver scream at him.
"Go die in front of some other car !You psycho!! "
Ignoring it, his eyes looked up to gaze at the hospital building.
His heart again sank from pain, as he imagined the pain she is going through because of him.
"Love can never cause regret"
He smiled at this.
How wrong you were Elle...regret is the only thing love gave me.
I don't deserve you, Elle...I don't deserve you after everything.
He wanted to leave...to go away from her life.
He thought himself to be an eclipse to her illuminating lights.
But he can't be a coward right now.
Accepting his mistakes is the only way out of this burden of guilt.
Running from it will only make it go deeper.
Drying those traitorous tears with the sleeve of his arm, he straightened up.
Back to his usual sober state.
He won't let her go, he will beg every second of his life if he has to.
But he can't live without her.
If you truly love someone, you plead, you regret, you beg but you never leave them.
"He doesn't love me....he will never love me...I am not up to his standards....he...he is ashamed of me...like everyone...he ...will also leave me..."
Earlier words that she spoke to Maria proved it.
She needs him and this time he will prove to her his love.
"I will stand by your side Elle...forever in shade and sunlight, in happiness and in pain.
With the only hope of seeing your beautiful eyes to open up again."
.....................................................
A loud clap was heard in the hallway of the hospital.
Ashton closed his eyes, accepting all the pain and humiliation coming his way.
The force behind the slap has made his right profile, go numb for a few minutes.
And his father's voice was heard as a ringing echo.
"I am ashamed of you! You don't deserve to be called my son...I....I married you to her....I thought you will love her and cherish her....
that innocent soul is there fighting for her life.......tell me Son..tell me what crimes has that girl commit?
What was her fault in all this?"
Her only fault is that she loved a person like me
His conscience spoke to him.
He stood there staring at the tiles floor.
His collar was grabbed by his father's wrinkled hands, as he shook him to his senses.
"I will tell you....her fault was that she loved a bastard like you!! A selfish person like you who only cared about himself...your business...your revenge...your ego....! What about her!!"
"Dad... please...I...I..am sor-"
"Don't you dare utter that word ....sorry??....your fuck*** sorry can't do sh**!!
I...I am at fault..I ruined that innocent girl life by marrying her to you.....I should have known beforehand ....and now ...."
Henry was at the verge of tears as Jane placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
"Do you see this Jane?...this is the Son you were so proud of....a bloody disgrace!"
His father never said those words to him.
Each and every minute of his life he has worked...just for one thing.
To make his father proud and today he ruined it all.
New tears escaped those dead eyes, as redness rimmed in their corners.
"Henry ... please I know he is at fault...just look at him...he is already suffering.. please just calm down.."
"Calm down? You ask me to calm down when my grandchild....when...when my little bundle of joy...is struggling for every breath....when my daughter in law is struggling between life and death....
I can't....I can't just calm down Jane!!
Their conversation was interrupted as Lorena came running in.
Her eyes held worry and she looked short of breath.
Ashton looked at her, afraid to hear her next words.
"Ash....Ash....she .....Elle....is going into a state of shock....I don't know...the doctors ...they were rushing in...I asked but they didn't tell me...hu-"
He bolted through the corridors with everyone at his trail.
His turbulent mind was not able to even run properly..as he crashed into people on his way.
His steps halted only when he approached that glass fitted window door.
His desperate eyes trying to look past the bodies of doctors and nurses surrounding her.
A glimpse was all he got, but it was enough to bring his entire world come crashing down.
The velvety skin he kissed every inch of.
Was now discoloured with patches of red everywhere.
Her body...the one he worshipped entire nights.
Was getting shocked by a machine which sent her into waves of pain.
And that face...the face he called ugly all his life.
The face that still he longed to see every night.
Was swollen beyond recognition.
This was the last straw, all his control...all his regrets came crashing in as his body slid down the door.
No tears were left to escape.
No words could make him feel better again.
Everyone stood there in an aura of regret and pain.
Cries of all those who did her bad were echoing in the halls, and sadly the one who always smiled and said everything will be fine.
Was herself the victim this time.
Jane sat next to her Son, pulling him over for a much-needed hug.
He broke down in his mother's arms.
"Mom...I....she doesn't deserve...I....I...did it...-"
"Shh....just be quiet....she will be fine... don't worry."
"But mom....my child...I lost....I can't lose her as well...I can't live without her....I can't....."
She moved her hands through his hair, calming him down.
Her scared eyes were waiting for doctors to come out any second, but still, she kept a brave front for the sake of her son.
Holding his face in her hands, she spoke firmly.
"Don't blame yourself Ashton.... nothing will happen."
Pains of agony and cries of regret continued to surround the operation room.
As Ashton slowly fell into his mother's arm unconscious.
Her worried eyes stare at his face to see the paleness and pains he tried his best to hide.
The stone-cold man has finally surrendered to whims of destiny.
His body finally surrendered to the battle of regret and soon everyone realised that the height of iceberg above the water, was nothing compared to its depth beneath it.
His depths were not visible to the naked eye, but she surely was able to dive in deep through.
..................................................
He woke up with stiffness in his body.
The throbbing in his head had subdued and he looked around anxiously.
There stood his mother and father, looking happy for once after so long.
The smiles on their faces were genuine, as they stared at something or rather someone.
Confused he tried to sit up with the support of his elbows.
His eyes fell on a glass box kind of a thing, and his forehead had creases in confusion.
"Mom?"
He called in his hoarse voice, to only have her turn around towards him.
"Come Son...come here"
Confused he stood up and started walking towards her.
His hands holding on to the bed for support.
As he came closer, the first thing his eyes fell on was a very tiny fist.
Except that this time, it was from happiness.
A small angel was lying there, covered by tubes.
The head was still to grow hair, brows were still to develop their shape and those eyes, they were still to open up.
The little chest was moving up and down and this alone made him move closer to realise if this was reality or a dream.
But one thing that stood out the most was a wonder.
A crescent-shaped birthmark adored the child's shoulder.
"Born at 12:48, few weeks premature.
Doctors have to keep him in observation for the next few weeks.
Doctors said him surviving this was a miracle."
Ashton's fingers traced the glass, as a smile automatically came on his lips.
But it vanished the second he realised the cost of this happiness.
His child was alive... breathing but does this mean?
His wide eyes met his mom's happy ones.
"Wh...ere is she?"
The second he asked the question, her smile vanished to be replaced by sadness.
"I asked where is Elle mom!!"
The desperation in his voice made her answer in a low tone.
"She is serious.. doctor s are not saying anything...room 107"
He turned around to reach her as soon as possible.
105
106
..
.
His steps halted outside her door.
Team of doctors stood there, engaged in discussion
"No we can't....it is biphasic anaphylaxis...this was the second attack...plus...she just survived a cardiac arrest!'
"My past experiences show that there is a 90% risk in this...but we don't have a choice...if we leave it here only...then anything can happen"
"All her organs have already suffered a blow...her central nervous system shows symptoms of damage.... putting more pressure on any can ruin everything."
"This will get complicated if she doesn't wake up in next few hours....let's discuss with others first"
The doctors were gone, making him run inside her room.
Within seconds he had held her hands in his as he showered countless kisses on them.
The tubes on her hands or their redness didn't stop him from kissing them.
His shaking hands managed to touch her silken locks, that surrounded her pillowed head.
He couldn't speak, the beeping of the heart monitor being the only sound surrounding them.
"Elle...........Elle?"
He was only able to utter her name, everything else seemed to fade away.
Her closed eyes, the only focus of his attention.
"Pl...ease.....Elle...wake up....I...."
He couldn't look at her any longer, every second felt like torture.
You can't see the ones you love in pain.
His eyes remained fixed on her slender fingers intervened with his.
"You are not allowed to visit the patient...please move out sir"
A doctor said, making him look up at him.
"Wh...at is happening to her....how is she..."
"The reaction caused her blood pressure levels to fall drastically, leading to a cardiac arrest.
The swelling... it's blocking everything....it's hampering the immune system, respiratory system...central nervous system.
If the swelling doesn't go away in the next few hours....it will be very difficult."
The heart that taught her to beat was losing its beat.
He can't let this happen..she can't die in front of his eyes.
He can't just wait and watch her die.
"Call the best doctors... don't worry about funds...just get the top doctors in the world...I....she has to live..."
"They are the best Sir....your father already arranged the best in the country.
But no one can do anything... it's how her body responds to it."
He moved his head in a no...they have to do something...he can't lose her.
Why don't these people understand?
Grabbing the doctor by his collar he roared at him.
"She has to live! Why don't you understand!She can't leave me..she can't die!!"
The doctor tried to break free his grip, trying to step back from him.
"We are not God Sir...we can only try our best"
His words made him lose his grip.
How ironic were his words?
The same words he has spoken to her when Sammy had died.
"We are not God"
He never felt so helpless before
God has finally taught him the lesson he wanted to.
"Value what you have for who they are,
For flaws don't make them unattractive.
Instead, they are the very source of their uniqueness which is way better than their perfection."
He was not going to leave her hand no matter what.
Holding onto her hand firmly, he was ready to stand by her side till she was fighting the biggest battle of her life.
"You can do it my dear Ugly duckling, this ugly frog will patiently wait for your kiss....as it is only your kiss that has the power to turn him back into a prince"
..................................................
The day you thought you lost me,
Was the day you realised my true worth
So many years of my selfless love couldn't do it,
What few hours of near-death could.
...................................................
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