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I decided to ditch school after my confrontation with Jake. I can't shake the disappointment in his expression when I lied to him about the bruise under my eye. Guilt consumes me, and it only becomes worse when Trish calls me several times. I allow the call to go through to voicemail. I know I'm spiraling out of control with my lies, but I don't know how to swim back to the surface. It feels like I'm being held underwater, and there's no way out. I head to the local pharmacy in search of pain relief, and to keep myself busy.

The pharmacy is empty when I enter. The bell chimes above the door, and I begin scanning the shelves for pain relief. I need something stronger than average painkillers, especially if I want to try and convince Jake nothing is wrong with me. It's game over if he finds me in a moment of weakness. I can't believe a handful of interactions with him has led to him almost figuring out my secret.

"Can I help you?" The lady behind the till calls out to me. I snap out of my thoughts before shooting a warm smile in her direction. Over the years, I've fabricated many stories to get enough help without raising suspicion. I walk over to the counter while resisting the urge to wince with pain. The aftermath of Trevor's last two beatings are lingering longer than I'd anticipated.

"Hi. My brother participates in boxing as a sport. He came down with an injury, and he's complaining of pain in his abdomen. Do you have anything to help him?" I ask her. A deep frown immediately takes over her face.

"It sounds like he needs to be treated professionally. Over the counter medication isn't going to help."

Damn it, I was afraid of that. I force myself to remain calm so I don't peak her suspicion.

"He is being treated professionally, but he needs strong painkillers. His prescription isn't ready for another day, but he can't wait that long. He's in too much pain." I talk a little too fast, and I hope she doesn't notice the blush staining my cheeks. The web of lies I've been spinning lately begins to tangle deeper and deeper.

"I should be able to find a temporary fix. Follow me." The lady says before disappearing down an aisle. I breathe a sigh of relief before following behind her. She holds up a box of painkillers before taking them to the counter.

"Make sure your parents read the instructions before they administer the medication to him. It's the strongest pain relief we sell, so it should be used carefully." She tells me before ringing up the medication. I nod my head to show her I'm listening before I grab another box, and add it inside the bag. I'm desperate to try anything at this point. My actions cause her to pause a little, and she leans forward to peer outside of the pharmacy.

"Are your parents outside?"

"N-no. My mom is taking care of my brother, so she asked me to purchase them."

"I would need to see an ID. You need to be over eighteen to purchase –"

"I have my ID with me." I cut her off before reaching into my pocket. I'd spent an entire weekend cooped up in my bedroom making a fake ID for this exact situation. I know I shouldn't be lying, but I'm technically only a year away from being the legal age. I've always needed stronger medication, and I didn't want to rely on Mom to buy them for me. The lady examines my ID before nodding in agreement.

"Okay, perfect. Here you go," she hands me the bag and I pay for the medication. I scurry out of the shop before releasing the breath I'm holding. I glance down at the bag before muttering under my breath with hope –

"Please work for me."

I can sense the tension in the air as soon as I enter the house. I slowly pull my key out of the door before listening for any sound in the house. It's eerily silent which isn't a good thing. I shut the door softly before heading for the stairs. I'm halfway up when I hear footsteps coming from the living room.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Trevor spits at me in disgust. I glance down at Jake's clothes before wincing at my appearance. I should have known Trevor would find an issue with me returning home in male clothing.

"It was raining this morning so I changed into a friend's spare clothes." I tell him truthfully. I hope he didn't sleep through the downpour of rain this morning, otherwise he isn't going to believe a word I say. Trevor pauses for a moment, and his beady eyes run up and down my appearance. "You look like a whore." Trevor hits back at me, wanting to get a reaction. My jaw tightens, and he smirks when he realizes his words are working at tearing me down. My eyes flutter closed for a brief second. Today has been one of the worst days I've experienced in a while, and it's all because of him.

"Fuck you, Trevor." The words leave my lips through gritted teeth. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I'm in pain. I've lied to my friends. I can't focus on school work. I feel like I'm failing miserably at everything good in my life. The insult hangs in the air for several seconds, and Trevor stares back at me in disbelief.

"What did you just say to me?"

I continue to stare straight into his eyes, desperately wanting him to know I mean every single word I'm about to say.

"You heard me loud and clear. I hate you. I despise everything about your existence. You're a pathetic, disgusting and pitiful excuse of a man." I say calmly before walking up the rest of the stairs. Trevor grunts in disbelief before grabbing hold of the stair rail to come charging after me.

"How dare you speak to me like that! You're going to fucking regret it." He yells up the stairs. I continue walking to my room before slamming the door shut behind me. I lock the door, drop my backpack to the ground before pushing my dresser in front of the door to stop him from entering. Within seconds, Trevor's fists begin slamming against the wooden door. It threatens to come off the hinges, and I simply stare back at it in exhaustion. I don't have any fight left in me.

I hear him cursing me from the other side of the door. I imagine him frothing at the mouth in anger. The image would have previously terrified me, but I'm too exhausted to be scared. I feel numb to my emotions as I slide down the side of my bed. I stare straight ahead at my reflection in the mirror while Trevor continues to scream, punch and kick my bedroom door. I drown out the sound of him before silently reaching for the bag of painkillers. I pop out two of them before swallowing them without water.

It usually takes around twenty minutes to kick in.

That's exactly the amount of time it takes Trevor to finally give up trying to get to me. He gives my bedroom door one final blow before storming downstairs to probably crack open another can of beer. I hear him yelling at Mom, threatening to kill me if I ever leave my room again. I have no desire to leave my bedroom, especially if it means I don't have to deal with him.

I don't know how I end up on the floor in my bathroom.

My room is engulfed in darkness, and there's no sign of any daylight. I blink several times before glancing down at the empty single sachet of painkillers in my lap. I don't remember taking more than two. It must have been hours since I locked myself in my room, but it feels like no time has passed at all. An eerie wave of calmness washes over me, and I slump back against the bathroom wall. I feel my sanity along with my rational thoughts beginning to slip away. My eyes flutter closed, and I picture my fathers face inside my mind —

"Why did you leave me, Dad? If only you knew how bad it's gotten since you left." I whisper. I don't realize I'm crying until the saltiness invades my mouth. Once I acknowledge the tears, heavy sobs begin to invade my chest. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe. I clutch at my chest while gasping like a fish out of water. Cries of anguish and agony slip through my lips. I can't remember the last time I cried like this. Years of heartbreak and suppressing my emotions unleashes out of me faster than I can realize.

I squeeze my fist into my mouth to muffle my cries. My actions don't help the lack of oxygen residing inside my lungs. My cheeks become soaked in tears, and they roll down onto Jake's hoodie.

"I want it all to end, Dad. I wish you'd taken me with you," I cry out before curling into a fetal position on the floor. I cling onto my petite frame before rocking back and forth on the floor. I crave to be comforted. I crave to be loved. I crave to feel safe, wanted and celebrated. I wish I could find the strength to expose Mom and Trevor, but I'm weak. I fall apart with every passing day. Pieces of me are chipped away until I'm no longer able to recognise myself...

I'm a broken shell of the former Emily Wentworth.

My tears abruptly stop, and I suddenly become numb to my emotions. Feeling numb to myself, my emotions and my surroundings is a scary feeling. It means I no longer care what happens to me. It means I don't feel fear, anger or pain. I feel nothing. I stare straight ahead at the tiles on the walls until my vision begins to blur. Eventually my eyes flutter closed, and I welcome the darkness with open arms. 


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