Chapter Twenty: Permission

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Chapter Twenty: Permission

***

Ophelia:

Life is just so good.

Even though we're busy with work and school and sports and stuff, Luke and I still find some time every few days to get together and... uh... hang out.

Okay, fine, more specifically, fool around.

I just get so hot for him. And so we strip, he touches me, I touch him. We rub our bodies together, grind our hips together, rock our lower-halves together so his erection presses right between my legs until I physically can't take the teasing anymore and so his hand slips between my thighs and he just... makes the entire world explode.

And then I do the same for him. Put my hands on him, feel him, warm and twitching beneath my fingers, squeeze him, rub him, listen to the sounds he makes, see his face contort with the pleasure I give him until he spills himself over us and we clean up the mess with whatever we have lying around, both us of tired but with goofy, satisfied smiles on our faces.

And then we hold each other, our naked skin stuck together, legs tangled and arms wound around each other, my head in his shoulder and his fingers caressing me everywhere and it's just so special and precious and oh my God, I love him. We talk to each other, joke with each other, touch each other and kiss each other.

He tells me about work, or about some cool engineering project he read about that he tries to explain to me in a way I'll understand. And I tell him about the essay of mine that my teacher submitted to a national contest, or rant about my AP exams, or we'll share something funny that happened to us, or describe a really bad car accident we saw on the icy roads, or... anything and everything, I guess.

I love talking to Luke. He's so smart and sweet and he's a good listener, too.

When our bare bodies are pressed lazily together and we murmur against each other's shoulders or he starts tickling me, which results in us rolling around the bed before making out again... I can't imagine not being with him, and I start to picture all the possibilities for us in the future, and...

I think he's the love of my life.

And I know that may sound silly to you because we haven't been dating for a long time and we're so young and blah blah blah but... When I come, and he looks into my eyes, pushes the hair away from my face and brushes the side of my nose tenderly with his, and there's this haze of incredible warmth surrounding us, I swear we're like, connected and it's the brightest, deepest feeling in the whole wide world.

I'm a literature nut and so I've read many, many romance novels. And the feelings they describe, that magical, ethereal, transcendent, soul-consuming connection with another human being that they talk about? I feel that with Luke, I see it in his eyes when we hold each other and... I believe it, you know? How can you tell me it isn't real?

Also. Orgasms are... literally the best thing ever.

This Friday is Valentine's Day. Isn't it great that Valentine's Day falls on a Friday? He says he has something planned, something he's gonna keep as a surprise. All he told me is that I should be ready by five-thirty, and that I can dress up a little if I want.

I've been trying to think of things I could do for him to surprise him too, something nice for him. Except you can't just buy flowers or chocolates for guys, you know? It's so hard to think of something special.

Oh, and another thing. I've been getting kinda... curious about... um. Blowjobs. And maybe even... uh, the female equivalent. Just imagining Luke kissing the insides of my thighs and then... oh my God. If his fingers feel that good, I can only imagine how good his mouth would feel. And he's an excellent kisser, so...

Maybe I could surprise him with that for Valentine's Day. Oh my gosh. The thought is so... dirty. And I have to do more research about the whole blowjob thing because I don't wanna, uh, choke I guess.

How embarrassing would that be if I choked on Luke's penis and vomited up our dinner and then...

Gross.

He's just so big. I'm concerned it's gonna be hard to fit him all in. Impossible, even.

I guess I'll have to see what happens.

What do... penises taste like?

I suppose that's something I'll just have to find out for myself.

***

"Feelz?"

"Mhm?"

It's the Wednesday before Valentine's Day and Luke and I are tangled together in his bed in our underwear, both our eyes drooping a little as I settle my head against his warm, solid chest.

"Do you think your parents would say yes if you asked them to spend the night on Friday?"

My heart leaps excitedly beneath my ribs. "That would be so amazing," I whisper against his collarbone. "I really liked sleeping next to you that time."

"I did too."

But I can only imagine the look on Mom's face if I asked her.

"I can ask them. I don't know if they'd say yes."

I snuggle closer to him as he skims his fingers up and down my spine, our body heat trapped beneath the blanket he slung over us.

"My parents would be fine with it," he says. "They won't get back until really late anyways. They're going out, too."

"So are my parents, I think."

We groan when it's time to untangle ourselves so I can go home. I tell him I'll text him to let him know what they say and he kisses me good-bye, says he'll see me Friday, and the whole ride home I have this big, happy smile on my face that I can't seem to get rid of.

I decide to wait until after soccer practice before I ask Mom. I feel kinda shy about it, actually, because spending the night at my boyfriend's definitely feels very... grown-up. Even if we aren't having sex, you know?

"Mom?"

She's in an armchair in the living room, reading a book and drinking her tea.

"What's up, pumpkin?" She smiles warmly at me as I come to sit on the chair beside her.

"Um." Shoot, I'm blushing. "You know how it's Valentine's Day on Friday?"

"Yes, of course. Do you and Luke have plans?"

I nod. "Mhm. He's taking me out somewhere except it's a surprise. The thing is that, uh..."

She waits patiently for me to finish what I'm trying to say. Biting my lip I ask in a rush, "Can I sleepover at his house on Friday?"

She blinks a couple times, looks surprised and then uncertain. "That's... kinda serious, honey. Are you..." She takes a breath before asking softly, "Did you guys start... having sex?"

I flush bright pink and shake my head profusely. "No, definitely not. Only third base, I promise."

She purses her lips, her eyebrows scrunched up.

"Please? His parents said it's okay with them."

After a second she gives me a small smile and says, "Lemme think about it, okay? I promise I'll let you know before Friday."

I guess that's fair. "Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart." She sounds distracted.

I go to my room and text Luke an update. Maybe Mom will talk about it with Aunt Vic and Uncle Dylan and they'll convince her it's okay.

***

Fab Four Group Chat:

Melanie: I'm not sure how I feel about this sleepover idea.

Gavin: I don't like it at all. She's only in highschool

Vicky: But what's the harm? They aren't even having sex. They just want to cuddle.

Melanie: I think we all know what happens when people spend the night in bed together 'cuddling'

Gavin: ^^^

Dylan: srry to break it to you mate. They're gonna start shagging one of these days and I'm sure you agree your daughter deserves better than the backseat of Luke's car

Vicky: it's Valentine's day! Come on mamma Mel. He's surprising her with tickets to see Romeo & Juliet. Some lower-budget student production but still it's very romantic

Melanie: okay ngl that's adorable. She loves theatre

Vicky: ikr? He told me he wanted to take her to a show and so I helped him find one he could afford

Gavin: will you guys be home?

Dylan: yeah should be back by midnight

Melanie: but what if they start making a habit of it?

Vicky: but seriously, what's the harm? They're being safe. It's the weekend. They're young and in love

Melanie: sleeping over is so... adult

Gavin: they're just kids

Vicky: they're growing up and that's normal. Don't you trust them?

Gavin: i was eighteen once so no

Dylan: my son is a gentleman. Don't know where he gets it from honestly

Melanie: I guess... there's really no harm. I don't want her to feel like we don't trust her and I suppose your house is as safe as it gets

Vicky: I'll make sure to check on them ;)

Dylan: no love, you'll be busy

Vicky: oh... that's right lol

Gavin: I can't even look at that kid these days without thinking about him defiling my daughter

Dylan: circle of life, mate. Imagine how poor Zach feels. Darcy isn't exactly prince charming

Gavin: I think he spent too much time with you growing up. He definitely reminds me of myself at his age and that's... not necessarily a good thing

Dylan: he learned from the best

Vicky: you give Darcy his freedom. Don't be stricter with Fee just bc she's a girl

Melanie: I know. I guess we do have to be fair, Gavin

Gavin: yeah but that doesn't mean I have to like it

Vicky: just don't think too hard about it. Bottom line is that they make each other happy. Isn't that what we want for them?

Melanie: yeah, you're right.
I'll tell her it's okay with us.

Vicky: We'll make sure they behave.

Gavin: yeah right

Vicky: ;)

***

A/N:

It's freezing, I'm frozen, I hate it.

"Extreme Cold Warning". Apparently it's so cold that a train-track in my city actually broke. God bless Alberta.

XOXO Ami

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