Chapter Fifty: Together

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A/N: NSFF warning. (Not suitable for fasting... 🤭)

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Chapter Fifty: Together

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Ophelia:

Luke holds me really tight in his arms and I wrap myself around him, and we lay there together on my bed, and I try my best to fight back tears.

I just feel so... overwhelmed, and powerless, and confused. And worried, and anxious, and my heart hurts, inside my chest. Really super duper hurts.

I hold his face in my palms and press our noses close together and manage to tell him, "I'm... I'm sorry for being so sad, Luke." My voice is a little raspy because of how raw my throat feels. "I promise I'm happy for you. I..." I squeeze his shoulders and bury my face in the crook of his neck and murmur, "I want what's best for you, because I love you. I love you so much..."

My throat quivers and my eyes pool with tears again as he strokes his large hand soothingly over the back of my hair. His body is so big, and hard, and strong, and I would hold onto him forever if I could. "I love you too, Feelz," he grumbles against my forehead. "And I don't..." He swallows and then tells me hoarsely, "I really don't wanna move away."

The tears spill in hot tracks down my cheeks. He... he's gonna have to live in another city.

He won't be around anymore.

How is that fair? Why does it have to be this way?

"I'd have to leave my family, and my friends, and..." He presses his lips to the tip of nose and finishes, "You. I don't want to leave you, Fee."

My body starts shaking with silent, uncontrollable sobs. I burrow against the soft fabric of his t-shirt, trying to make it stop because it aches and it's not mature or helpful... I need to be here for him. I need to be stronger because, he needs me, because he loves me, because we're in this together, because he's the love of my life.

"I could stay and go to Ryerson," he says quietly into my hair.

I shake my head vehemently, pull away to rub the wetness from my eyes. "No, you have to go, Luke. The scholarship... you can't turn that down. It's..." I sniff away the snot collecting in my nose and give him a trembling, watery smile. "It's an amazing opportunity for you, Luke. You told me... about how awesome Waterloo is, so, you have to go." I rake my fingers through his hair and whisper, "You can't stay because of me."

His brown eyes are glossy when I look into them, and my entire body just aches. "I did... a lot of research, Ophelia." He starts rambling, like he's trying to fit it all in. "Waterloo's a better school, so, I'll be able to get a better job after I graduate, one where I could stay in Toronto and not have to travel all over the place. And, I'd get to keep all the money Sandy left me for school. I could use it, to..." His cheeks flush a little and he gives me a shy smile. His nose bumps into mine when he proposes tentatively, "We could, you know." He shrugs, his fingers playing distractedly with the bottom of my t-shirt. "We could get a place together. Travel, or, literally anything you want, I guess."

More warmth than I even know how to deal with blossoms inside my chest, squeezes my heart. I fling my arms around him, fresh tears stinging my eyes. "Oh Luke..." I nuzzle his head, search for his mouth and capture it with mine, our skin slick with salt. He kisses me back softly, twines his fingers into my hair. When we pull apart for air, I breathe into his lips, "You mean it? We can... move in together?"

He gives me a tiny, crooked grin that makes my insides get all tangled and mushy. "Unless you get tired of me before then, but..."

A giggle bubbles up from my stomach. "Never. I'll love you forever, Luke."

He gives my hip a squeeze and mumbles, "Promise?"

"I promise." I reach down to grasp his fingers with mine and then my eyebrows furrow together, concerned. I bring our clasped hands up between us and gasp softly when I see his how his fist is wrapped in bandages. I tentatively touch the gauze, sweep over the top of it, lean closer to inspect it. "What happened?"

Colour floods his cheeks and he gives me a sheepish wince. "Uh." He looks embarrassed as he chews on the inside of his cheek and then eventually confesses, "I might've... done something kinda stupid, when I got the email from U of T." He avoids my eyes and grimaces at the memory of whatever it was.

"You hurt yourself," I fuss, bringing his hand up to my lips to press a soft kiss against the skin peaking out of the white wrapping. "Are you okay?"

He nods. "Mum fixed me up." He closes his eyes and mutters, "Except now there's a big hole in my bedroom wall, so..."

My mouth falls open. "Oh no..." And for some reason, I have to stifle back a smile.

"It's not funny," he grouches, except his lips are tweaking up at the corners too. He knocks his head playfully with mine and another soft giggle tumbles from me.

"You punched a hole in the wall?" I pinch my lips together real tight to stop from laughing. "It's kinda funny..."

I muffle my twitters of laughter into his strong shoulder and he chuckles against the top of my head and it's like sunlight peaks through a crack in the grey clouds hovering over us.

After a small break of silence, he sobers and says, "It's a two hour train ride, Feelz. I'll come back every weekend. We can talk everyday over the phone, and FaceTime..."

I nod, try to put on a brave face. "We'll make it work," I determine, rumpling his thick hair with my fingers. "It'll be okay."

"We'll make it work," he agrees. I snuggle closer to him and he grips me tight against him, and as our bodies mold together everywhere, I feel heat fan across my skin and settle in my gut and slip through my blood. Our hands drift lazily over each other as we kiss, our tongues caressing and our soft breaths collecting between us.

I clutch his shoulders as I fall onto my back, tugging him with me so he's resting on top of me, and my legs twine around his hips, and our kisses become wetter, noisier, messier. I haven't had him inside me since last Friday. It's been a week since we joined our bodies together and somehow it feels like it's been so much longer.

On Wednesday, when I went to his house, he was so anxious that he didn't... you know. He didn't get very hard, and after he told me about what was bothering him, we were both so sad so we never ended up getting to finish what we started.

I whimper breathlessly against his lips when I feel him between my legs. Hard. So hard. My hips flex up to rub against him and he groans softly into my mouth, kisses me hungrier, sloppier.

My fingers slip beneath his t-shirt, and soon we're working each other's clothes off. His shirt then my shirt, his jeans then my jeans. Our hands drift gently but firmly over skin and muscle and hair and our lips don't stop moving together, I can't get enough of his taste and smell, I need him, now, forever.

And then I'm squirming as he brushes his lips down my neck, down the curve my shoulder, peeling the plain white strap of my bra down. I arch up and he reaches behind me, fumbles with the clasp before snapping it loose. And then as soon as he discards the scrap of fabric onto the floor, his mouth is closing over one of my hard nipples, sucking it tenderly past his lips, enveloping it with soft, damp heat before switching to the other. Small, breathy sounds fall from me, and I grip onto his hair, curve into him.

I watch with wide, shiny eyes as he flutters a trail down my body, over my stomach, down. His rough fingertips scrape against my skin as he tugs my panties off, and then he's prying my thighs apart and dipping his head between them. I clamp a hand over my mouth to stop my surprised cry as he presses wet kisses between my legs, sucks and licks and rubs the swollen, slippery mess at the centre of me.

He reaches a hand up to play with one of my boobs, to circle his thumb over my nipple, and I can't help it when I rock my hips a little against his face, because it feels good. So good. Being with Luke like this is all warmth and fire and sparks and colour and I'm so tired of feeling sad. With our bodies tangled together, we can make each other feel good and I just... wanna feel good.

A soft, curling orgasm washes over my entire body and my thighs shudder, a strangled, muffled moan seeps into the flesh of my palm. When he looks up at me, his eyes are hooded and his mouth is all wet and he doesn't look sad anymore either, just horny, and hot. My boyfriend is so hot.

"We have to be quiet," I tell him. I sound huskier, breathier, and my entire body feels like it's burning. "So they don't hear us..."

We've never had sex at my house before. Or really done anything like this at my house before, because his house is, uh. I don't know. Safer, I guess.

He nods and then starts pulling off his boxers. My insides clench together when I see him, see his hard, big, naked penis attached to his hard, big, naked body. So big and strong and hard and naked and...

"Shit," he curses, his eyebrows scrunching up. Something dawns on him and he doesn't seem happy about it. "Shit..."

I press my legs together and wrap my arms around my chest and wonder, "What?"

He looks up at the ceiling and laments, "I don't have condom, Fee." He sits perched beside my feet and scrubs a frustrated hand over his face. "Fuck..."

A gush of disappointed air echoes from my lungs into the space around us. Ugh...

Stupid, stupid condoms.

I bite my lip and wriggle uncomfortably as a new thought occurs to me. "We don't even need one, though, right?"

The internet agrees that if you're clean and on birth control then, you can't get pregnant or get diseases. We've been using condoms because my stupid parents said that we should. Thinking about my parents makes my spine all bristly.

Luke groans, shakes his head. "We really shouldn't, Fee," he warns. His voice is all low and deep and raspy and it makes me shiver.

I suddenly imagine what it would be like, to feel Luke deep inside me without anything in the way, to feel him spilling himself into me and, oh my gosh... It makes me melt.

"Please?" I ask, giving him my most earnest, most innocent look. "I have that implant, remember? So it's safe, right?"

His eyes are all dark and droopy and he's naked and hard and I'm naked and wet and I want him so bad...

"We really, really shouldn't, Feelz." He tugs at the back of his hair, looking conflicted and unsure. "I could go..." The thought of him going somewhere to grab a condom and then coming back is so irritating, to both of us.

I sit up, crawl towards him, rest my hands on his shoulders and lean in to kiss him. "Please Luke?" My breath flits against his mouth when I murmur, "I want you so bad..."

A low, tortured sound rumbles from deep in his chest. His hands grasp my bare hips and he rests his forehead onto mine and says, "I'm trying to be responsible here, Fee. Fuck..."

I search for his mouth, squash my boobs against his chest, nuzzle against him. My hand creeps into his lap and my fingers curl around him and he grunts against my lips, swears softly under his breath.

"Please?" I coax gently, rubbing him the way I know he likes. The feeling of him, hot and thick and hard, twitching against my palm, shoots a bolt of restless energy straight between my thighs.

"Mm... Fee," he protests, kissing me and pulling away at the same time. "Baby, come on..." He pushes the hair back from my face, leans away from me but then tilts forward for more.

My breathing becomes faster and my insides throb. "I'm so wet, Luke," I whisper, sweeping my tongue over his lower lip and then biting into it softly. His small growl is so sexy and it just drives me insane...

"Hey, okay, I have an idea." He blinks a couple times and then reaches for his underwear, tugs it back on. He pecks my forehead and then I watch, confused, as he gets up, strides over to my bedroom door.

Which isn't even locked.

Oops.

My eyes widen as he pries the door open a little, sticks his head out into the hall. What is he doing?

I grab the quilt from the foot of my bed and wrap it around myself, suddenly extremely self-conscious.

"Darcy," Luke calls, his voice hushed and low.

"What?" My brother sounds as stupid and disinterested as always. I hear his stupid footsteps clunk outside my room, imagine his stupid face as he stands in the corridor a few meters away from my door.

Luke clears his throat and then I watch his head twist a little, left and right, as if scanning the hall. "Uh... listen man." A short pause. "I need a condom. Like, urgently."

My jaw drops to the floor and I let out a mortified shriek.

Darcy sputters. The sound that he makes is something between a snort and a groan and a guffaw. "You're fucking kidding me right?"

"I'm really not," Luke grumbles. My cheeks flame bright pink and I duck my head into my hands disbelievingly. "Do you have one or not?"

Darcy sounds incredulous and surly when he clarifies, "You want me to give you a condom so you can fuck my little sister?"

A stream of annoyed breath spills from Luke's mouth into the hall. "It's an emergency, okay?"

My brother's bark of disbelieving laughter grates my ears. "You're fucking crazy..."

"Come on, Darce," Luke insists. He sounds... darker, more serious and mean than I've ever heard him. His voice is menacingly low when he says, "I'm serious. Otherwise I swear I'll fuck her without one."

"You little shit," Darcy mutters. I clutch the blanket around me, suddenly worried that Darcy's gonna punch Luke in the face, and then, burst into the room and find me here naked and then...

Heavy footsteps recede, I can hear a door slam. Tense silence for a few moments before a thumping tread returns, and then I hear my brother grumbling something foul under his breath, hear something crinkle. "Thank you," Luke sighs before pushing the door shut and locking it.

He turns around and leans against it, a little red in the face.

"Oh my god," I squeak, staring at him, aghast and traumatized. "I can't believe you just did that..."

He holds up a couple packs of condoms and shrugs before striding over to me. "He's so gonna kill me after," he grumbles. "But whatever."

I scoot back and eye the foil packages warily. "It's... kinda weird, using the same condoms my brother uses..."

Luke squints at the writing on the blue wrapper and says, "It's just a condom, Feelz." Gingerly, he tears it open, inspects the translucent rim of colourless latex skeptically. "You think it has a weird flavour or something?"

Ew, ew, ew... My body heaves with silent, horrified laughter as I hide my head in the blanket, disgusted. Thinking about Darcy having sex makes me want to shrivel up into a ball and never climb out into the light of day, ever again.

"This is so wrong, Luke..."

"It's not a big deal..."

"I'm not turned on anymore," I giggle, shaking my head.

He narrows his eyes at me and then tackles me, and I squeal out helplessly, giggling. "I nearly got myself killed for these stupid condoms," he mutters into my ear, "So you have no choice..."

And then he presses himself against me there and warm, fluttery wetness bursts between my legs. "Okay, fine..."

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A/N:

I wasn't very happy with Fee for manipulating Luke and not respecting his boundaries. No means no, and whether or not they realized it, she crossed a line.

Also. I'm so so so sorry for not updating this book in a while! I've been obsessed with SOS. If you aren't over there reading, I'd recommend joining, it's my current pride and joy. I can't promise how often I'll be updating H&M but I'll try my best! ❤️ Thanks for your patience and understanding. I hope you're all doing well!

XOXO Ami

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