-Alaina-

After waking up hours before Dominic, I sit beside him, a book in one hand, the other gently running up and down his arm splayed over my stomach.

His body starts to stir slightly, pulling mine closer to him.

Warmth almost radiates off his skin the closer I get, his hand squeezing every so often.

Placing the book beside me, I turn to face him.

There's a soft, lazy smile on his face as his eyes remain closed.

I gently brush my fingers down his face, his body relaxing even more.

Lifting the covers, I look down to his stomach, where a small scar sits.

Fight gone wrong.

I shake my head, dismissing my curiosity, laying my body as close as possible to his.

His face remains still again as I continue caress his jaw, his cheeks.

"You watching me sleep, perv?" his raspy voice causes me to jump.

He chuckles, pulling me impossibly closer.

"Do you have to work today?" I ask him, his face barely visible through his messy hair.

He lets out a illegible mumble, pushing his head into the crook of my neck.

His hands snake up my waist.

We both let out a small sigh before his fingers dig into my waist, causing my body to squirm.

"God, you're annoying." I roll my eyes, laughing.

"But you love me for it." the smile instantly wipes off of both of our faces.

It remains silent for a few seconds, until he just entangles his hand in my hair, placing his lips on mine.

I feel his hand rummage around beside me before his lips slowly unlatch from my own.

Looking to see what he found, I see the camera I put in his nightstand.

My face instantly flushes as the corner of his lip rises.

"So, I looked through this old thing." 

"So you saw all the pictures of my friends?"

"Yes, and I noticed something."

Snatching the camera, I nod for him to continue.

"No pictures of me, or even you for that matter."

I give him a confused look.

"Why would I take pictures of my self?"

His hand reaches out for the camera.

Scoffing, he flips us around, firmly placing a knee on either side of me.

I squirm beneath him as he focuses the camera on my face.

Covering my face with the sheets, I hide from his gaze.

The cover is moved from in front of me.

He leans down, placing a soft trail of kisses from my jaw to my neck, down to my collarbone, his teeth grazing my skin.

My heads drops back on to the pillow, relaxing.

"Hold still, darling." he breathes on my skin, leaning back up.

I keep my eyes closed, a smile creeping on my face, until I hear the shutter noise.

"Bellissima." he mutters, discarding the camera.

He plants his palms on either side of my head, the smile on his face still growing.

"You really are beautiful, Alaina." he lips finally reach mine in a sweet kiss.

His playful mood disappears as his hands drift across my body.

He pulls away for no more than 5 seconds, just studying my face.

A groan erupts from deep in his chest as he drops his head onto mine.

"I have to go." he whispers, almost regretfully.

The back of his hand glides up my waist, my shirt riding up as his knuckles graze my skin.

The warmth of his hand envelops my body, around my rib-cage, his thumb tracing gentle circles.

"Your skin..." he leans down, kissing my stomach softly. "it's just so soft."

Feeling his lips touching me sends those weird tingles up and down my spine.

My hand makes it's way to his head, brushing the tips of my fingers through his hair, a soft sigh releasing from his mouth, that's still all over me.

Our lips meet in another kiss, a lot more lazy, rushed.

His tongue invades my mouth, entangling with my own.

I feel his body shift before I let out a small gasp.

His knee sets between my legs, causing friction.

My body jerks slightly at the contact before relaxing again, his lips forming into a smile.

He moves his leg once more, a quiet sound escaping my lips.

He pulls away, the loss of contact making me groan, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Catching my breath, I let out a slow exhale, his eyes never straying from mine.

I notice his flushed cheeks, realising mine must be bright red.

"I really have to go." his voice his strained as he watches me.

We remain still for a few seconds, until he lifts off me, walking to his closet.

As soon as his back faces me, I place my hand on my chest, the hard beat of my heart hitting my hand, cooling my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"You okay, mi amore?" his hands are shoved into his pockets, his face amused.

Rolling my eyes, I pull my shirt back down, turning my phone on.

No notifications.

"Alaina, does this shirt look okay, darling? And don't feed me some bullshit about how they are all the same."

Looking up from my phone, my eyes roam his outfit.

Literally the exact same as it looks everyday.

The colour, even down to the button placement.

"Oh yeah, this is my favourite shirt you have so far." I nod my head, giving him a thumbs up.

Those adorable dimples puncture his cheeks as he turns back to the mirror.

He places a kiss on my forehead.

Two of his fingers grip my chin, causing my lips to pout slightly.

"The doors going to be locked, if you need me, you call me. I'm never too busy for you."

He pauses, his smile growing, placing a quick kiss on my lips.

"I left the spare keys by the door, if you leave remember to lock the door behind you. Rox can keep you company, I'll be back at 6, okay?"

He goes on like I don't know how to take care of myself.

His lips find mine, which are still pursed from his grip.

"I hope to find you in this exact outfit when I get back." his eyes travel down to the shirt that barely cover my ass.

"Maybe I should just call in sick." he murmurs, his gaze on my thighs.

"Just go, you're the boss." I push him away towards the door.

He gives me one last look before walking out.

Shaking my head, I unlock my phone.

April 22nd.

Whatever hint of a smile faded, my eyes closing.

I feel my cheek dampen, my hand rushing to wipe it away.

How could I forget?

Just then, my phone rings.

Mom.

"Hey sweetie, how are you doing?"

The only time she ever calls.

I take a deep breath, controlling my voice.

"I'm fine Mom, how are you?" I fiddle with the drawstrings on the pants I just put on.

Resting my phone between my ear and shoulder, I grab the treats from the nightstand for Roxy.

She joins me instantly on the bed, curling up beside me.

"As good as I can be, honey, are you going to the place today?"

Its been a year and she still can't even say it.

"Yep, since you don't." I whisper the final part.

"You must come visit soon, we miss you."

For the first time in a while, she actually sounds sincere.

"I miss you guys too. Tell Daniel and Olivia I miss them so much. I'll see you all soon."

"Leave a flower for me, okay?" she sniffles slightly and my heart aches.

"Always. Love you guys, I'll call you soon." 

Putting Roxy's leash on her collar, I slide my phone into my pocket.

I tuck the front of Dom's shirt into my pants, throwing my hair into the worst bun you've ever seen.

Like I mean dragged through a bush backwards and not showered in 4 years is the look I ended up with.

Fuck it.

The darkness beneath my eyes seems even worse today, but that might just be through my own eyes.

The longer I stare at myself, the more I pick out that I don't like.

Feeling my chest constrict, I take another deep breath, pulling the drawstrings as tight as possible, to the point I can barely breathe.

I pull on of Dominic's hoodies over my head, I let the hood drape over me, covering my face.

As I walk out, I lock the door, tucking both hands into the pocket, Rox's leash in one hand.

I stop outside a specific store.

The Secret Garden.

The best florist in town.

Pushing the door open, the bell above me announces my arrival.

The frail lady behind the counters face visibly softens as she sees me.

Her hands reach out to me, I walk into them straight away.

"What are you doi-" she cuts herself off as her eyes meet the calendar beside us.

Without a word, she leads me to the back of the store, the smell of flowers filling my senses.

Lillies, azaleas, roses, peonies.

Any flower you could imagine, any colour.

I roam the room, finding the perfect bouquet.

Walking to the counter, her face lights up as she notices Roxy bounding excitedly.

"Oh my gosh! She's adorable, you finally listened to me and got yourself a friend!"

I allow a smile to form on my face.

"She's my boyfriend's, actually." 

Her cheeks scrunch up as she smiles brightly at me, almost proudly.

I fish through my purse.

"We agreed, these are free for you." she hands me the bouquets, leaving no room for me to protest.

"I'll pay you back, I promise, Mrs Turner." I give her an apologetic look before walking out the door.

After 5 minutes, I arrive to the place I dread.

East Village Graveyard.

I look up at the arched metal sign above me, before pushing the gate.

My hands slip and Roxy's lead slips from my grasp running to the 2 identical headstones.

As if she knew.

I sit before them, my mouth hanging as I contemplate whether speaking makes me look insane.

Danny White

2006-2020

Oliver Yale

2007-2020

My brain rereads each letter over and over, as if each time it gets less real.

But the aching never seems to get less real.

Roxy's head nuzzles into my side, placing her head on my laps as the first tear falls.

Then another.

My face remains still as each drop falls onto the grass that's finally beginning to grow back around the stones.

Placing the bouquets between them, I wipe my face with my sleeves.

"You are missing a lot right now, Dan. I swear when I get there, you're never hearing the end of this." I choke out a laugh.

"I finally listened and broke up with Peter. I realised how right you were when-" I scoff, looking down at my sleeves again.

"Nevermind. But, I found someone, like for real this time. He treats me so well. Most of the time." I chuckle slightly imagining how much he would ramble right now.

"Can you please just come and tell me how you need to meet him? Or even yell at me that I'm too young for boys? Even if you were only 15." I laugh a little.

My voice cracks and I look up to the sky, the clouds drifting above me.

"Just anything."

A few drops begin to pummel to the floor and my shoulders drop.

"I come here a lot, but for some reason today is so much harder," my breathing hitches. "A whole year."

A whole year without a single lecture, as if you had everything figured out already.

No annoying brother to barge into my room because he's craving ice cream.

No one to buy my gag gifts every year on my birthday, but always the cutest card.

"It's April 22nd 2021. How crazy is that? You would have been 16 today."

The rain falls harder and faster, my body almost drenched already.

Pulling my hoodie off,  I lay it over the dog beneath me.

My body shakes from the cold, goosebumps rising.

I rub my skin with my palms in an attempt to warm my body.

"Papa got that job he wanted. Even if he was always shit at maths. Can you believe that?"

I pause as if waiting for an answer, waiting for him to say he was telling Mom I cussed, biting my lip.

"Mom had the twins. They discarded the names they had the day you guys died, they just had to name them after you and your friend."

I hate that. It just feels like replacing the only people I had. 

"They are like 7 months old now, you would've loved them."

My heart feels like its not beating, just useless right now.

"I-" I clear my throat as it starts to get harder to speak.

"I miss you. I try and say I'm recovering but honestly most of the time I want to go back to where I was when we first lost you."

"Remember my car you loved? I had to sell it, rent went up and without you here I took too much time off work."

I hear his heavy footsteps dash into my room.

"Alaina, Alaina, Alaina, Al-"

"Say my name once more, and I swear you can move back home to Mom and Dad."

He throws himself at me, making me fall back onto the back.

"Shit, Danny, you're too big to be doing that now." 

He brings up an image on his phone, my jaw dropping.

"New ice cream menu at Alessandro's?" I jump in my spot, grabbing his hand.

We dash to the door, scrambling into the seats of my car.

His fingers run across the leather seats, then the dashboard.

"I want to be like you when I grow up, A"

We both smile, his single dimple on his right cheek becoming visible.

I sit in silence for a while as the tears begin to prick at my eyes again.

My hand rests on Roxy's body, seeking her warmth.

The sun starts to go down slowly, my care for anything except this moment fading.

I don't even notice the car pull up beside the gates.

"Alaina?" A familiar deep voice sounds from beside me.

Fuck.

I remain silent as his steps approach me rapidly.

"It's freezing, what are you-" he halts, taking in his surroundings.

His eyes roam my shivering form before quickly removing his jacket and draping it over my shoulders.

I feel his body sit next to me, hugging me into his side, kissing the top of my head.

He closes his hands around my ice cold ones, placing another soft kiss on both of my wrists before gently blowing into our palms.

The warm air swarms my hands, feeling the instant relief.

He doesn't say anything. But in a way, his silence supplies me with all the comfort I need, letting me know he's there.

"It's his birthday today. Well, it should be." I watch as he tears his focus from my hands to my face.

"He died on his birthday." I look down at my lap.

"I sent him to the shops with his friend to get some shit for the apartment so I had time to decorate his cake and not even an hour later, he stumbled back, 2 gunshot wounds." My throat swells.

His hands are now on my legs, just caressing me gently.

"The store got robbed while he was there, I just-"

I smother my face in my hands as I think.

"I should've decorated it the day before, I don't even know how he managed to get back to me. He just always got back to me." I whisper under my breath.

His thumb swipes across my cheeks, wiping the tears.

"I called the ambulance. I managed to get one of the bullets out the surface, but there just wasn't enough time before he-" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, my love." he pulls me impossibly closer, his hand running over my wet hair.

I clutch his shirt between my fists, listening to the soft beat of his heart.

"You did all you could, getting a bullet out a body? That's more than most people could ever do, darling."

"He would be so proud of you, Alaina, and I have no doubt about it."

We sit in silence for a while, his fingers tracing over a certain spot on my arm.

His eyes flick between my arm and the scene before us.

"It's a lily, he got me some every year on my birthday."

The pads of his fingers follow each line carefully.

"It's really beautiful."

I look at the ruined flowers, laying limp on the grass.

"I'll bring you back when the weather is nicer, and you can put out fresh flowers, how does that sound?"

I nod as I start to stand up, still shaking from the brisk air.

He guides me with a hand on my back to his sleek black car, closing the door gently behind me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you guys for being here!

I almost cried writing this I can't lie...

What's your favourite flower?