Yuvaan's POV

Why would I be afraid of my past?

Why would I be afraid of my past?! Really, Yuvaan? You couldn't think of anything else to say than blurting out that nonsense? You could have simply ignored the taunt, but you had to go ahead and act all cool in front of your wife — and she wasn't even impressed!

"I am really regretting this." I shook my head to myself and glanced at Reyna who looked totally unaffected.

She, like always, was looking gorgeous in a strapless lemon gown as her dark brown hair flowed over her back like ocean waves; I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off her. I didn't want to come to Tamannah's party at all, but since I acted macho for no reason, I was here standing in a lavish hotel full of strangers.

Why did I take up the challenge?

(Reyna's outfit👆)

While I was behaving like an outcast, my wife was busy acquainting herself with various business associates and brand owners after I heard her casually congratulating Tamannah on her boutique's opening and conversing with Raghuveer Ahuja.

Keeping my issues with my ex-girlfriend aside, she had done a good job in making a name for herself in her field and business too. Her love for luxury could easily be seen in the gold and white decorations all over the place with expensive drinks and delicacies attracting the eyes of every human being present.

I hadn't seen her yet properly — I didn't even want to — even though I could feel her presence fleeting throughout the hall. I accept I was avoiding her on purpose because first, I had no strength to face her, and second, I didn't know if I would lose my shit if I saw her and she would smile at me as if nothing bad happened between us.

To keep my nerves from exploding, I moved my arm to hold Kitten's hand, but she shifted away and moved towards the person I respected the most, but at that moment, I was in no mood to talk to him.

"Reyna!" Rickard grinned widely and opened his arms for my wife.

After shooting me a smirk, Reyna skipped towards her 'Grandpa' in glee and hugged him like she hadn't seen him for eons. Both of them began chatting instantly and laughed at one of Rickard's lame jokes. If Reyna wasn't so fond of him, I would have killed the old man for taking all of her attention.

"Your neck will break if you keep it in just one direction, Yuvi," Advait said.

"I don't think so," I argued and ignored the pain in my neck.

"She is coming this way. All the best." He pointed his thumb in Tamannah's direction and left me to suffer alone.

"Hey, Yuv!"

Oh no! Please, don't talk to me.

"Yuvi?"

I felt her hand on my shoulder, but I acted as if I didn't see her. I was hoping that she wouldn't acknowledge me, but she moved right in front of my face and patted my right cheek.

What the fuck was she doing?

"Yuvaan, it's me. Won't you even look at your Tammy?" She asked sweetly.

After a lot of internal cheering, I managed to swat her hand away and looked her in the eyes. Slowly, my mind registered her vibrant face and when I was done observing her, I furrowed my eyebrows.

She had changed, in a good way, but her aura was unsettling, and I felt like running away that instant. But I reigned my emotions and concealed my shock on her transformed appearance.

"You look different," I said.

"Is that a compliment?" She smiled, swirling in her floor length purple satin gown.

(Tamannah's outfit👆)

No. Why would I compliment someone who left me for being truthful?

Even if I simply said that she looked beautiful, she would unnecessarily dig deeper into it and misunderstand my intentions. To protect myself, I decided not to say too much.

"Where's Raghuveer?" I questioned.

Tamannah huffed shortly for getting ignored, but she masked her disappointment and changed the topic.

"Would you like to dance with me?" she asked while playing with her long silky hair.

She looked better in bob cut. But whatever, who cares?

"No." I shook my head.

"Come on, Yuvi. Don't act so ignorant; I know you missed me too."

"So what?" I shrugged my shoulders and moved towards Reyna.

Unfortunately, Tamannah followed me and overtook me even in her six inch high heels. She reached Rickard and began asking him if he was enjoying the party or not. I stood beside my spouse and ducked my head near her ear.

"You are looking really delicious." I kissed her cheek.

"Are you hungry again?" Reyna narrowed her eyes at me.

Just how can she miss my admiration every damn time? Does she do that on purpose or was her mind completely blocked for romance?

"Can I have a dance with you, please?" Tamannah interrupted, concealing her anger under her signature smile.

"I already said no," I answered.

"You should never refuse a lady," Rickard commented.

"I would prefer dancing with my wife."

"Reyna would be dancing with me, so you can go ahead and complete this young lady's request. She has taken great efforts in hosting the event, and I don't think you should disrespect her like that."

"But—"

"No buts. I was fortunate to meet Reyna through this party, all thanks to Tamannah." Rickard patted Tamannah's back in gratitude and guided Reyna to the dance floor.

"Why is he so fond of her?" Tammy twisted her lips in distaste.

"Are you jealous?" I mocked.

"Why would I be jealous of that woman?"

Yeah, right. Even if she was, she wouldn't accept it. She was like that from the starting: hiding her insecurities by acting arrogant and ending up hurting herself in the end. She just didn't want to accept that there could be someone better than her or above her league.

For Tammy, she herself was the best one, which was all fine, but she was a narcissist. And anyone who told her otherwise would automatically lose respect in her eyes.

Wow. Now that I was no longer dependent on her to make my life wonderful again, I had begun to see her shortcomings with past incidents to back my thoughts.

"Dance?" She put her right hand forward.

I rolled my eyes. "You won't leave me alone, so let's get over with it."

I took her hand with disinterest, and we landed beside an old couple lost in the classic melody. Soon, Tamannah and I were in the same position, my left hand on her waist and her right one perched on my left shoulder. We began swaying along the beats as the song changed tempo, making us shift our feets faster.

I was kind of surprised that I wasn't that much affected after meeting her. I thought that my emotions would take over as a result of seeing her after five years; I was glad that didn't happen.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" Tamannah asked.

"Excuse me?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"Why did you get married so soon, Yuvi? Did you forget about me entirely?"

"FYI, I am not obliged to answer you, Miss. Advani. Can you please concentrate on the dance instead of digging up graves?"

"I knew you would react like this." She lightly shook her head. "Didn't you say you love me?"

"That love was just an illusion, nothing else."

"Are you in love with your wife, then? I know you are not, Yuvaan. Why are you pushing me away? Aren't you happy to see me back?"

"What if I say I am not?" I taunted.

"Don't lie, Yuvaan. I know what your heart wants." She smiled brightly. "Please, Yuv. I know you are just hiding your true feelings because you are mad at me. But don't worry, sweetheart, I will make up for it."

What the hell was wrong with her? Didn't she hear my sarcasm earlier?

"Ouch!"

I snapped my head in Reyna's voice's direction, and I wasn't happy with what I saw. Reyna and Raghuveer were dancing at a few metres distance from me and behaving like a high-school couple. Beside them, Shaurya was chatting with Rickard with a huge smile on his face.

"I am sorry. Are you okay?" Raghuveer asked.

"Don't worry. I am fine." Reyna smiled at him and continued dancing.

"Keep your right foot first," she said and Raghuveer gave her a sheepish smile, his cheeks turning bright pink.

Didn't that man know how to dance? Couldn't he have found someone else to teach him that?

I really wanted to go and drag him away from my wife, but I knew that Reyna wouldn't have liked me acting like a caveman, so I controlled the itching in my hands as my eyes continued staring daggers into Raghuveer.

"Yuvaan, baby, look at me. I said I am sorry; I don't like you ignoring me." Tamannah grabbed my face and turned it towards her.

"I love you," she said and caressed my cheeks.

"I need to go to the washroom," I demanded.

"What?"

I didn't bother answering her and stomped towards the nearest restroom. I heard heels clicking behind me, but I didn't turn back and slammed the door after getting inside the loo. I turned on the tap and washed my face continuously, trying to keep Tamannah's words out of my mind.

And no matter how much I tried to keep my jealousy under check, the image of Reyna laughing heartily while being in Raghuveer's arms was stuck in my vision. I was aware that there was nothing to worry about, but after countering my ex today, I couldn't deny the fear of losing Reyna too.

What if she found the man of her dreams and left me for good? Honestly, I hadn't done anything for her to choose me over any decent guy, so it wouldn't be a surprise if she kicked me out of her life without any reason — she wasn't obliged to be with me if she didn't want to.

I had managed to keep her with me, but I couldn't give the guarantee that she wouldn't change her mind and could live her life without me. There were a lot of potential partners all around her, even that Kunal from Architecture department, so I was at a loss here.

I put my hand into my pocket to take out my fidget spinner, but when I didn't feel the familiar cold texture, my heartbeat rose in panic. I searched for it heretically and found my vision clogging in, my ears ringing with multiple voices overlapping repetitively.

Who will in their right mind stay with him?

I don't love you, Yuvaan. I hate you — I was wrong to even think about being with you.

Fucking murderer! If you enjoy taking others' lives so much, then why don't you kill yourself, huh? You are a pathetic excuse for a man.

"Do you need a hug, bro?" Advait glanced at me through the washroom's mirror and placed his left arm over my shoulder.

I nodded, and he pulled me in a light hug. He patted my back and told me to relax. I focused on his voice as he began telling me a random story; Adi's story sessions always helped me whenever I didn't have my medicines or other tools with me.

After about fifteen minutes, I had calmed down and didn't look suicidal. Adi broke the hug and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"Don't let her get to you, bro. Only focus on your present, okay?"

"I will try." I nodded.

"If that bitch troubles you again then let me know. I won't mind putting a bullet in her head if that shuts her up for good," he offered.

I pursed my lips at his comment, but soon after, we burst out laughing and he told me to just concentrate on only one woman who mattered the most and forget about other human beings.

After cracking few random jokes, we left the washroom and welcomed some annoyed men who looked at us suspiciously. Adi purposely winked at them and laughed his ass off after seeing their reactions. I shook my head at him and mentally thanked his existence.

"How come you forgot to bring your fidget spinner?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Ever since Reyna has come, you have completely stopped going to your psychiatrist," he said. "Don't you think she is affecting you too much?"

"It is good, to be honest."

Advait darted his eyes around my face before curling his lips into a smile which I rarely saw. "No worries as long as you are happy."

Once we got in the main hall, Advait headed towards the food counter where a lot of women were gathered, while I decided to give myself a much needed break. I ignored Tamannah, who launched herself at me as soon as she saw me, and took the elevator.

The moment the cool night air hit me after I landed on the terrace, I felt at peace. I took my time to observe the dark sky, sporting ever-present shimmery stars, and traced my favourite constellation with my eyes. In the same trance, I walked towards the wall and hopped on it.

The view down was dizzying, but since I loved heights, sitting on the top of a sixty-floor building didn't bother me that much.

I wish my existence doesn't become a bother to Reyna too. I would be okay if she didn't love me back — I am not expecting her to. I just want someone to be there for me and accept me for who I am.

Even it seems far fetched, I can hope at least.

Thank you for reading ♥️