A/N: not edited.

Chapter 39 – Chris POV

I was exhausted. We were exhausted. Dead tired drained. Five days from finding out that we had two children in the world. Logan had found nothing. Zilch about this Lynda person. He brought Tomas here. I wanted to be there when he questioned him. So two days ago I paid a visit to the concrete room Logan had first brought me into. Tied or well shackled to a chair I stood seething watching this – this – I don’t know what to fucking call him because genitalia aside he wasn’t a man. He wasn’t a ‘stand up guy’ because real men don’t prey on fucking little children.

He groaned opening his eyes, blinking rapidly, shaking his head confused, “What… where am I?” he murmured struggling against the restraints. Nothing his body after, “W-Why am I naked?” the panic in his voice pleased me. I looked at the piece of shit that terrorized my children, hurt them in unfathomable ways. No justice. None. How could he hurt them those ways?

He had children of his own, a father himself. How could he live with himself? How could he leave his family safe and sound, traveling from southern Indiana nearly 500 plus miles to hurt Rainy and the babies? So yeah I was feeling everything, from anger to even pity for this poor excuse sitting in front of me.

What really threw me was the other man here now… he looked oddly familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Well until Logan said his last name, Gavino.

Gabriel Gavino.

Then it rang clear. He was American Italian Mafia.

When I asked why he was here Logan just shrugged, ‘there are no lines that he won’t cross… and he doesn’t want that kind of blood on my hands.’

It made sense because sitting next to Tomas was his human mate, Jewel Morris.

She however wasn’t ‘coming to,’ she had been awake and crying, repeatedly asking what was going on. Gabriel didn’t answer. She questioned us about her children. He didn’t answer.

“Tomas,” she whimpered and that really caught his attention. That’s when he really started trying to get free.

‘What are we doing here?” he asked in a demanding tone.

“I don’t know, Tomas, why don’t you look to my right and answer your own fucking question?” he focused on me on and his face remained blank. Huh.

“How about you stop with the fucking merry go round and let me and my wife out of here-”

“Whom did you sell the two babies to?” Gabriel interrupted, cutting to the heart of the matter. Jewel gasped shaking her head, “My husband would never-”

“Really? He touches them, selling them fits right in…” Gabriel gritted out, snapping at her, but she’s shaking her head at me. As Us. It’s a kick in the stomach. How was she so naïve? I was naïve once, fooled by my own brother and sister-in-law.

Her brown eyes wide, honest, she believes what she’s saying, “He’s a father for God sakes,” Gabriel just smiled. I didn’t understand.

Until I did. “Well in that case…” he looked at his watch before facing again, “six minutes… hopefully less… he may be alive but he certainly won’t be a father, nor will you be a mother,” I snapped my head to Gabriel, Logan just rested against the wall. Picture of ease.

“Oh god… oh god…. T-Tomas, what – what did you do?” Jewel asked exponentially panicked. “Nothing. Don’t listen to them,” he said not bating an eyelash. “They won’t hurt kids Jewel,” confident where he should have none. Gabriel cocked his gun, aimed, fired one shot to Tomas ankle, Jewel winced. Confused however.

I don’t know, I thought, I would be afraid. Logan told me what lengths Gabriel went to just to get his mate back.

“One more time, who is Lynda? Whom did you sell the children too?” he shouted, Tomas gave no sign of coming out with anything.

“Motherfuc – I didn’t sell any children! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Tomas shouted right back, groaning in pain, blood gushing from his ankle, but it would heal.

“Well then… Jewel exactly one year and six months ago your husband bought you a tennis bracelet, diamond drop earring and matching necklace. You’re wearing the necklace and earrings; those items were paid with money he received for selling two children. He’d leave your home and head to a basement where he’d repeated sexually and physically abuse young children. Toddlers Jewel. You’re still human, but tell me, when he goes on longer trips do you ever get stomach cramps? Or a heated skin feeling that you would probably write off as a fever but its worse. Or maybe headaches that you and or your doctor have assumed were migraines?” I saw where this was going but Jewel sat dumbfounded.

“Yes… but I feel that because we are a – apart…” she whispered as Tomas was repeating over and over again that she shouldn’t listen to – she was his true mate? I thought this all over. Giving myself a headache.

“Now, Jewel… your husband doesn’t care about children so I’m going to harm one of his since he finds it easy to harm others. Unless he tells me where and who the fuck Lynda is… in the next,” he glanced at his watch again, “sixty seconds,” and behind me a screen turns on and I see sofas, a television mounted to the wall. Someone is pouring liquid from a red container. They turn and are climbing up the stairs still pouring, when the light catches the container and they begin to shriek, when the camera captures their five-year-old son fast asleep.

Yelling, shouting, pleading, Jewel really began to panic, becoming hysterical.

“Estelle Lynda Smith! Estelle! Don’t hurt my babies!” Tomas shrieked and that pissed me off to no fucking end. Was he fucking serious? Logan and Gabriel said nothing, the man with the red container stopped moving. Stilled completely as Jewel cried, “Oh god, Tomas – ho – how – how …” she couldn’t even finish. She turned pale, a sickly bland green color and threw up all over herself, partially on the ground.

The same screen came up with two new photos, “Which one?” Logan finally spoke. Not even glancing at the pictures behind him. Then we had a little problem.

“The one on the left,” Tomas said quickly, but at the same time Jewel answered, “Lynda is on the right!”

“Jewels head snapped to her husbands direction.

“Tomas they have your children, why – why would you protect?” she said with shock and disgust. Not bothering with him as she faced us again, big fat tears rolling down her blotchy cheeks.

“He never called Lynda around me, but – but,” she cried shaking her head, “tell your person to – to ch – check out our Christmas a-album she spent – spent it with us last year,” For a moment I felt bad for her, she didn’t know that she was married to a monster. Watching the T.V., Tomas started, “Jewel don’t say more! You think you’re fucking scary? Your not shit Gavino!” he spat at Gabriel.

I gaped at him incredulously. Gabriel just shot him in the ankle… a stranger was pouring gasoline in their house ready to kill his kid and he was afraid of someone worse that Gabriel? The man on the video feed held up a picture and sure enough, Jewel was right. Their family sans Tomas on one side and when he turned it over, cursive script was on the back.

‘Estelle and family Christmas 2013’

I didn’t know how to feel but suddenly the T.V. went off and Logan walked towards Jewel, placed a hand on her shoulder and they were gone. Leaving Gabriel, Sebastian, Masen, Tomas and I.

I was shaking. Struggling until I walked over to Tomas who was gazing at me… Fury crashed inside me, he didn’t loo the least apologetic to me by any means. It wasn’t long before Logan returned.

“You handle him-”

“What?” I said looking at Logan and then Gabriel, “No! do not touch him,” I growled, “Take me to the hospital,” I placed a hand on him waiting. He didn’t move at first but then we were at the hospital. Heading to the supply closet, I grabbed what I needed furiously, once I had everything my face-hardened. I stood next to Logan waiting… his lips pursed, “Chris… you don’t-”

“Stop… four months Logan… he got two children out… he could’ve saved them…Take. Me. Back.” I said, clenched jaw. He sighed, placed a hand on my shoulder and we were back in the concrete room.

“Weak… all of you. Gavino’s don’t kill children,” Tomas spewed at Gabriel. Well that was a relief. I dropped my supplies, and picked up the scalpel, crouching down ignoring all the stairs I prepared the syringes. Laying out six filled, ready to go. Fucker was gonna suffer, be awake for all this.

With us face to face, I smiled the same sinister smile he gave my Rainy, my children. With the scalpel, in my right hand I reached for his genitals savoring the fear in his eyes and I slowly, haphazardly I sliced his shit right off, throwing it on the ground, ignoring the screams or the curses of those in the concrete room. Then I reached for a syringe when he passed out, injecting him waiting for him to wake up, preparing, and then cauterizing his wound when he was conscious again. When he woke with a shriek, I smiled, “Don’t want you bleeding out now do we?” I smirked.

“Oh Fuck!” someone behind me said and after only two minutes fucker passed our again. Sighing I picked up the second syringe, waking him up again. By then it was time to stitch him up, so working sloppy I began closing the wound, chuckling to myself.

By the time I finished my very reckless and unhygienic castration, I had used all syringes to keep Tomas awake. When I was done, I stood, staring down at him, making sure he watched me, “Whatever you do to him, I want his suffering to last four months,” I said to Gabriel. 

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I walked to where Logan was and he took me to the area of the house that was mine, avoiding Rainy and the children. He left me alone without a single word, which I was thankful for. Starting the shower I entered, the steam already thick around me and I dropped down, my back against the wall, the water falls on me like raindrops. I don’t feel, can’t feel the scaling water, it’s hot but the pain inside my chest crimples me more. It’s overwhelming.

“Ohhhh god,” I cried, groaned sobbing. Washing the doubt, anger and pain away. Give me strength Goddess. I need it. I needed strength, to in turn be what they all required. I was losing control though… but most importantly; I wanted to absorb their hurt. I didn’t’ want them to go thru this.

I wanted to release all my anger and frustrations, not even what I had just done sated my need, and I hated myself. I was no better than the monsters that hurt my children, but I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t let him get an easy death. Where was the fairness in that?

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But I digressed.

Everything was taking a toll thought. My exhaustion. Our exhaustion. Three days after seeing Tomas, it was currently two in the morning and all the children were awake. I couldn’t… it was getting hard to think logically. While Kayla had awful night terrors the real issue was Keith. No not issue… they all had little things that separately wouldn’t be a problem.

With all they were learning it seemed that initially we moved too fast, bombarding the children with new rules and concepts. Truths. That to any other child wouldn’t be a problem but we overwhelmed them.

I was thankful for my family coming along, helping. Ten children and I didn’t – still don’t know why I’d believe that all – well the older eight – would behave and heal the same. Have the same growth… I was wrong.

We were controlling the light, easing them into light, changing the window shades allowing a bit more sunlight in each day, but that made Cole and Lily get horrible headaches.

Michael, whimpers in his sleep and any little sound, would wake them all up now. We wanted to keep them together however that was becoming might tricky. We had already moved Michelle and Nicole to a nursery, as not to disrupt the sleep of others and vice versa. But Kayla’s night terrors were in full swing when she got anymore than three hours of sleep and she wolf up kicking and screaming. Crying and sometimes throwing up whatever she ate recently.

Yet Keith. His was by far the most dangerous response to all this new stimuli, sleepwalking.

Letting mom and Lucy tend to the other kids I slowly approached my son, my little clone, “Keith, son, let’s get back to bed…” I cooed softly doing as Shavon instructed. Not to touch Keith, but get him back into bed, without waking him, which was hard to do.

He was fast asleep, stumbling, trying to climb the stairs but as always I was trying to ease him back, he nodded, taking my offered hand as I led him back to bed, tucking him in, sighing. Once I had him settled, I walked over to Hannah, Lily and Sarah, who were grumpily crying…

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Once we got everyone down again, I turned to Rainy who pursed her lips, “This is normal for me…” she said randomly, so I waited for her to finish.

“This has been their whole life Chris, being forced away at random times, but now – now they are living differently-”

“Rainy they can’t function on three hours of sleep alone…” I told her straight, “when they were in the basement, maybe they didn’t need more sleep but now-”

“I understand… when Shavon and Juliet come tomorrow can we speak to them together?” she asked looking away from me.

“I think we need to,” I murmured, holding her hand, I knew I needed to talk to them about myself as well. I was furious and getting angrier as time went by, I didn’t even know whom I was becoming inside. Not someone I was proud of, definitely not someone good enough for Rainy or be a father.

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While the kids were eating breakfast, Rainy and I went to speak to Shavon and Juliet, I was dead on my feet really, but I pushed through.

Shavon inspected me, the darkness around my eyes, around Rainy’s, “Again?” she asked. We nodded.

“Around the same time?” she said taking the notes we made, recording what time Kayla’s night terrors began, when Keith would start walking around, always heading for the stairs, waking up next morning not knowing what the hell we were talking about. Or if we accidently woke him up, he wasn’t with us anymore; he was in that basement and fighting with all his might to get away from us. Even kicking hard enough to crack Rainy’s ribs when she held him wrong once.

“We’ve been observing and I know you don’t want to use medications… but we would be starting at the lowest possible doses to treat their anxiety, just until we give them the proper tools to use and control their anxiety, they are dealing with PTSD and an already rocky mind. Kayla has night terrors and panic attacks, but if we are careful we avoid them most days, Keith his shows as the sleep walking…”

 What do you think Chris? Rainy asked me over our link.

They need it Rainy, I know we wanted to hold off but it’s just not working this way…I replied honestly. Thinking of how this would probably help the children dearly.

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“Logan said we should talk…” Shavon said after Rainy and Juliet left.

I sighed, “Yeah, what else did he tell you?” I snapped not even meaning to but hating that he went behind my back to do that.

“Why don’t you tell me Chris?” she countered smiling.

“Tomas…  I – I was just so fucking angry Shavon! I castrated him…” I said rubbing my hands over my face, frustrated.

I hunched over, looking at her, expecting to see… I don’t know, some form of disgust but her face was blank. “Did it make you feel better?” she asked smirking at me.

“No… yes… at the time, I couldn’t feel anything but rage - angry that he hurt them Shavon… especially when he could’ve gotten them out!” I flew to my feet. “Money… greed. That is what made him save two – and did he save them? Or are they just somewhere awaiting the same fucked up fate that Rainy and the others had!” I was furious once again, shaking, I had to get out. Storming out of the room avoiding the children, I ran to the backyard, into the woods shifting howling out.

I wasn’t expecting it, never in my wildest dream would I expect to see her coming to me but in wolf form, a beautiful silver wolf, my Rainy, my little Love approached me. Whining.

I stood still, hidden in the woods, not sure if I should approach her even in this form. She comes closer, rubbing her body against mine, her scent filling my senses, calming me down I lower myself to the forest floor. Rainy by my side.

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