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I let myself fell asleep when the sun was already rising. To be honest, I was just too tired and I needed that rest.

So I woke up at noon and I felt well rested, along with still being shaken up from the nightmare and anxious, that now familiar fear resting deep in me, gripping my insides and literally just eating them.

I know I'm safe here and there's a really, really tiny chance of anything happening to me, but the thing is ... there is a chance of something happening to me, no matter how small. You can never be too safe because sometimes, some situations and people can be unpredictable.

For example, I don't know what's going on in Charles's head right about now. Is he planning on attacking me again? Does he know Braden's not here with me? Or is he hiding somewhere? Or maybe the police already got to him?

I don't like not knowing about things like this, but I know that right now, I can't do anything about it. Braden is coming home tomorrow and maybe that'll make me feel better – safer.

I remember that I have a lunch to make because my parents are coming over soon, so I shoot out of my bed, straight into the bathroom. I do my usual morning routine – taking a quick shower, brushing my teeth and cleaning my face. I skip the makeup today. I just don't feel like it.

I put my hair up into a tight bun on the top of my head. Deciding it's all about casual today, I just put on some leggings and a loose sweater that's a bit too big on me.

And then I go to work, putting on some music on my phone and manoeuvre my way through Braden's big, beautiful kitchen, getting my mind distracted.

***

My parents are late, but when the phone in the suite rings and I pick it up, I see part of the reason why would they be late.

''Miss Warren?'' the male voice asks politely.

''Speaking,'' I say, my heart speeding up.

''Yes, I'm calling from the reception.'' I hold my breath, waiting for his next words. ''There's someone here, claiming they're your parents. Are you expecting anyone?''

I release the breath I was holding slowly. ''Yes. Yes, just send them up.''

''Certainly, Miss,'' the man politely replies and then hangs up on me.

I think I now know the reason why Braden wanted me here in his suite. It really is secured and now thinking back down on the big, bulky security guards guarding the door ... It'd be a miracle if anyone would get over them, much or less Charles.

My dad and mum enter into the suite minutes later.

My dad whistles in the greeting, looking around. ''That man just doesn't hold anything back,'' he comments and I have to laugh.

I hug them both, and just like that, my fears and anxiety are gone. Or at least, it's postponed.

For later.

***

The lunch goes great. We talk. We laugh. We catch up. And then mum worries some about me. And later, she worries some more.

And no matter how much I reassure her, mum is just mum. And I love her to death.

We talked about Braden. They weren't really pleased that he left when I was just released from the hospital, but I told them patiently that I'm perfectly fine and that I still can move, thank you very much, but that Braden has the kind of job where he has to travel some and he has to work hard.

The empire doesn't build itself, after all. And it doesn't build over the night either.

My parents understood that. They took it with kindness, but they just weren't very happy about it.

They also asked me in worry if I was happy with Braden if I'm truly sure that's the kind of life I want and I just stared at them in horror. My only reply was, ''Mum, dad, honestly? I want my life with Braden in it, no matter how can I get him. I just want him in it. Permanently. And nothing and no one will change that.''

My mum shook her head at me, putting her hand on me. ''That's not what we're worried about.'' She looked at dad then, but he wasn't willing to help her with this. ''I know you love him, baby. I just worry this love will get you hurt, especially if he won't –''

''Mum,'' I cut her off. ''I love Braden. And he loves me. Very much.''

We changed the subject after that, my parents obviously satisfied with the answer they got.

But overall, I had a great time with them. They left just before the sun set. My dad just wasn't a fan of driving in the dark.

We parted with hugs and mum's worried Take care, take rest, don't overdo yourself. At which I answered with rolling my eyes and another tight hug, promising her that I'm taking care of myself and that I'm not an invalid, so she can stop treating me like one.

When they left, the suite felt way too silent and my thoughts were starting to get way too loud in my head. So I busied myself by cleaning the kitchen and trying to put everything else in the place. It seems like Braden has everything so well-organized, I was almost afraid to touch anything or move anything.

After that, I just go up to the bedroom, exhausted from today already. I check the phone and my heart starts beating faster when I see that I have four missed calls from Braden and three text messages from him.

Shit.

He called me and I didn't pick up.

I read his texts quickly.

Why aren't you picking your phone up?

RORY.

Where the HELL are you?

I try calling him back and wait. I'm getting impatient when he doesn't pick up.

My stomach sinks in disappointment when it becomes clear that he isn't going to pick up. I hang up and dial his number again.

I really looked forward to talking to him, but knowing that he probably won't pick up, because he already went to bed ...

I frown.

And just when I want to hang up again, I hear his deep voice, saying that one word that makes my body flush in happiness. ''Babe.''

My mouth instantly stretches into a big grin, my mood lifts up and a relief washes over my body. ''Braden, hey. I hope I'm not intruding anything.'' I'm not sorry at all, because I'm selfish and I wanted to talk to him before bed.

His chuckle vibrates in my ear, my nerves stand up in attention at the deep rumble of his laugh travelling all the way through my body down to my toes. Hearing him laugh is like a sweet melody to my ears.

''No, you're not intruding. Sorry I missed your call, I was just in the shower.''

With these words, my hormones go crazy. ''Oh, yes?'' I drop my voice low, biting my lip. Now I'm just imagining him standing in the shower ... naked ... the water running down that sculpted, muscled body, making me jealous of the water drops that get to kiss his skin. I close my eyes at the imagination.

Braden's groggy laugh brings me back to him and my eyes snap back open. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with me?

''Yes,'' he confirms in his own deep tone that is just pure seduction.

I sit down on the back because my legs become a little unsteady and my body starts slightly shaking. ''I wish I could be there with you,'' I whisper without thinking much about it.

I don't even feel any embarrassment at saying those words out. They're true and he probably knows it anyway.

''Christ, Rory,'' Braden groans, exhaling harshly into the receiver, making my body shudder in a pleasure of how my words affected him. ''I wish you were with me, too,'' he murmurs back. ''So bad,'' he adds tightly. ''Did you have fun with your parents today? And your friends yesterday?''

''I won't even ask how you found out. We had a lot of fun and I hope you're not mad I invited them here. I was just so bored I was going out of my mind,'' I admitted on a groan.

I trace the bed sheets with my fingertips, staring at the too big bed for only one person with saddening expression, knowing that I'll have to spend yet another night in it by myself.

''I'm not mad, precious,'' he whispers sensually and softly. ''You know, maybe I should take you with me on the next trip I have to go,'' Braden says, surprising me. ''But you'd probably be bored out of your mind during the day. I wanted to suggest to give you my credit card and send you into the shops, but then I remembered you don't really like spending money.'' He pauses. ''Or is it just my money that you don't like to spend, Rory?''

The change of subject doesn't go unnoticeable and I frown at where this is going again. It always has to come down to money, doesn't it?

I pause, thinking about his question. ''I think I don't like spending money, period. Especially someone else's money.''

''But, God, Rory, I'm not just someone. I'm your lover. Your boyfriend. The man who loves you and the father of your child,'' he cries out, his voice thick with desperation. He's quiet for a moment and I think he's gathering himself together. ''To think about it, there was once a time I despised the clingy types of girlfriends. You know, the ones who attach at your leg and become dependent on you?'' he laughs dryly and I can hear the clear frustration in his tone. I can feel his frustration all the way through the phone. ''And now ... Now I wish you became more dependent on me. I want you to be clingy, to ask me for things and to let me be there with you at all times.''

I'm stunned into silence. My mouth falls open and closes back like a fish in the air. There's a tight pressure in my chest, my stomach clenches at his words. ''What are you trying to say, Braden?'' I ask him quietly.

Braden exhales. ''That sometimes I feel like you're too determined to show me that you're independent and you don't need anyone else's help. Sometimes it feels like you're pushing me away and shutting me out.''

I purse my lips, my eyes narrowing at the wall as I think his words through. ''Oh, it's really easy to point your finger at someone else, Braden, isn't it?''

He's silent for a moment. ''What do you mean?''

I inhale a ragged breath. ''That you're just the same, Braden – if not worse. I tell you everything. I share everything with you. At least I try to. But you?'' I snort. ''You barely tell me anything. Especially about yourself. Because you always act like a damned business man around everyone and I'm sometimes sick of feeling like I'm your enemy!''

''Rory –''

''And for the record – if we're sharing things to each other right now, I'm telling you now that it's hard being the one in a relationship who always has to share every single thing, but gets nothing in return. I don't ask for much, Braden. I don't ask for you to buy me expensive clothes or expensive jewellery, you know I'm not into that. I'm only asking you to give me your trust.''

When I finish off my rant, I'm breathing hard like I've just run a mile. God, that felt good to get off my chest.

''I didn't know you felt that way,'' Braden says after some moments of tense silence pass between us.

I pinch the tip of my nose. ''Welcome to the club, buddy,'' I reply back sarcastically.

''Don't, Rory,'' Braden warns, his tone considerably cooler. ''Don't brush me off with that buddy thing. I'm not your buddy.''

''Well, what you are to me, then?'' I challenge him, my grip on the phone tightening so my fingers start to hurt.

Braden exhales sharply. ''Your fucking boyfriend for starters!'' he bellows.

I wince at his loud tone. I sit down on the bed, wondering how did we end up arguing about this. I wanted to speak to him this whole day. I miss him, but when he's acting like that ... I'm happy he isn't here right now because I don't think I could stand him shouting at me.

I always hate when people shout at me. I can't stand it and I always end up crying.

So when I blink my eyes rapidly, hoping that the tears in my eyes dry before I start full-out crying, I'm happy Braden isn't here to see this. ''I think I'll end this conversation before we say anything else to each other that we don't really mean to,'' I say, determined not to let him hear how much everything affected me.

''Yes, Rory. Run away, won't you? Because that's easier than sort out the things.''

And now my tears do fall but in a complete rage. I clench my hand into a fist, hitting my thigh with it, repeatedly. ''Oh, wow, Braden. Here you go, pointing that finger again. Are you even hearing yourself right now?'' I accuse, my voice clearly showing the disbelief I feel.

''Yes, please do throw my words back into my face. Let me be the bastard in this relationship.''

''That's because you are!'' I shout out without thinking.

When there's nothing but silence on the other end – I don't even hear him breathing – I realise what I just said. I clamp my hand over my mouth, my bottom lip shaking. ''Braden –'' I try to apologise immediately, but I'm cut off.

''Don't bother,'' he bites out. He clears his throat. ''I think you said more than enough. Thank you. Really. I didn't know you feel that way.'' As he says that, I hear how unsteady his voice is, how shaky it seems before every word he says.

''No, I –''

''Goodnight. I wish you sweet dreams,'' he says with a tight voice as if it pained him to get that out of him.

When a second later I hear the line go dead and only that familiar beeping greets me back, I burst out into tears. I throw the phone on the bed, carelessly. ''No, dammit!'' I shout into the empty bedroom, pushing my hands into my hair, my cries getting louder and louder.

What have I done? Oh, God.

In a pure desperation, I grab the phone back in my hands and try to dial Braden's number. I fail the first three times, my hands shaking so hard, my vision so blurry I can barely see anything. When I succeed, I put the phone to my ear, biting my lip anxiously and tapping my foot on the floor.

I get the voice mail and I give up, throwing myself down on the bed with my face forward, my screams muffled by the sheets.

***

I don't know how much time passes. I only know it's really late and I'm really tired, but I can't fall asleep. My tears won't stop falling, my nose is stuffed and my head hurts.

And when my phone dings, indicating that I have a new notification, I almost fall off my bed to reach it.

Please, let it be Braden. Please ...

Even though I know it's kind of impossible. It's late here and it's even later there. So he's probably sleeping.

But my heart almost jumps out of my chest when I see his name displayed before my eyes.

Does your head still hurt? x

And it makes me cry even harder. Because I was a bitch to him and he's still worried about me.

God, the things we said to each other before ...

I try to call him. It rings and I wait nervously in anticipation.

He doesn't pick up this time either.

I close my eyes, the hurt washing over my body.

I type back a response.

No, I'm fine xx

I want to call him and apologise to him. But I think I've done enough for today.

So I just put my phone on silent and stand up. It would be pointless to all asleep, anyway.

The thing I noticed and fell in love with, is that the window ledge in Braden's bedroom is really wide – so wide a person could sit on it.

I always wanted to have that.

I go search for some blanket I can put on it. I also bring a pillow and a sheet with me so I can wrap myself in it. I sit on the ledge, getting myself comfortable and just stare out of the window, up to that moon.

I wonder if Braden ever did that. Is he doing it now? Gazing up at the moon, thinking about me? Because even though he's on the other side of the world, we're at least under the same sky, under the same stars, gazing up at the same moon.

Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking and he's already asleep.

I put my head on the window glass as a sob escapes my mouth.

***

The next day goes away as a blur. I'm a mess.

I've tried calling Braden at least thirty times but if I don't get a voice mail, he either doesn't answer his phone or he declines my call. My texts also go unanswered.

I know we've both said some very hurtful things to each other last night and most of them we didn't really mean.

But what I said to him at last ... I know it must hurt him deeply. He's trying very hard to repair this relationship and of course we're going to have ups and downs. But dammit, does he have to hold a grudge for so long? He's on the other side of the world and I'm trying to reach him through the phone, at least to hear him say hello to me, just to know that we're okay.

But of course not. He goes on and ignores me and it hurts. It hurts more than a salt on an open wound would.

So I stay curled up on the window ledge most of the day with a hot tea in my hand to warm up my cold, aching heart, and watch the snow slowly cover the city beneath me. And it's also nice to look at all these oblivious people walking on the streets, going on with their lives while I feel mine is just falling apart.

I never want to be without Braden again. I'd rather see my heart stop so it doesn't have to go through this pain again. I'd rather see that my soul dies so it doesn't have to miss and crave him so much again.

Because without Braden, I got a taste at what hell would look like. No, I correct my mind. Hell should be easy after that.

The only time I move is when I go make myself something to eat. Not because I would feel any hunger, but for the sake of my baby.

I'm just a saddened creature moving through the suite in a haze all day. God, I'm pathetic. If someone saw me like this, they'd laugh at my face at how weak I became over a man.

I snort at the thought, laughing without any humour. Because if I didn't, I'd start crying.

***

He's here.

I feel him.

Even in my sleep, I feel his presence. I know when he's close because the tingling on my neck gives it away.

I stir and open my heavy eyes. They hurt from all the crying and it's hard to keep them open, but I try anyway.

Because Braden is here. I see his silhouette in the dark. He's soundlessly laying on the far end of the bed, his back is turned to me. There is a lot of space between us, considering his bed could probably hold at least 5 people.

It cracks my heart that Braden put that distance between us on purpose. He always holds me while we sleep. I always fall asleep in his tight embrace and wake up with him being wrapped up around me, too.

It's my obsession. It's my heroine. And now he decided to take that away from me.

''Braden,'' I whisper into the quiet darkness, stretching my arm out across the bed, but it doesn't come even near to touching him.

I think he stirs a bit, but it could only be my imagination. I don't know when he came home or if he's asleep.

I close the distance between us anyway, laying against his back and put my arms around him. The tears come unexpectedly and a loud sob escapes me. I put my head into the back of his neck, sobbing into it.

I feel Braden move beside me and this time, it's not my imagination. He really is awake.

''I-I'm s-sorry,'' I sob, hiccuping. ''I d-didn't mean what I-I s-said. I'm so s-sorry,'' I stutter out between my sobs, my cheeks wet with my tears.

Braden's body is lying there unmoving, but his muscles are tense.

He shifts and he has to pry my hands away because I don't want to let him go, but he turns around to face me. I can't see his face, not really. Only an outline, but that's not enough to see his eyes,