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Chapter 9

       There was a well-known fact about Rex Turner, one everyone knew. He grew up as a foster kid, no parents, no family, just him and the horrors of those homes. Maybe that was why he was the way he was. Why he knew how to fight so well, why he was angry all the time.

       Why he never let anyone in.

       Growing up all alone in house after house-that were never truly homes-with handfuls of other kids, and adults who only saw you as a paycheck, could turn anyone against the world. Even someone as strong as Rex.

       Foster kids all cope in different ways, all have different mannerisms, and attitudes, but there was something they all shared, something that only others like them could identify. Fosters could spot another without a problem. There was this... look sometimes, either on their face or in their eyes, one that never truly went away no matter how hard they tried. It made finding their own easy enough.

       I saw that very look pass over Rex's face as he used those large arms of his to push us through the crowd of the packed club Echo. His dark gaze never focused on one spot for too long, his handsome face was set in a stony resilience, and his attention never stopped surveying the room.

       I couldn't help but feel like he was a Secret Service agent and I was the president of the United States. Two beings far more important to each other than I could ever dream of being to Rex.

       "Rex!" A young-looking man, maybe twenty-five or twenty-six, beamed at the biggest crush I ever had as he pushed us towards the bar. "Haven't seen you around here in a while." The guy had light brown hair, a killer smile, and eyes of such a familiar green I nearly stumbled in surprise.

       "Hey Charlie." Rex nodded at who could have only been Trey's older brother when he finally pulled us up to the bar, and pressed against my back. My chest nearly exploded when those large, muscular arms caged me against the dark wood of the bar, shielding my much smaller body from those crowding around us.

       Charlie was wiping down a few glasses as his eyes snapped down to mine, then lifted to raise an eyebrow at the boy behind me. "Who's this?" He asked casually enough, though the look in his green gaze was close to threatening.

       "Rose, she's a friend."

       She's a friend.

       We were-we were friends now?

       "Looks a little too young to be in here."

       And just like that, the enthusiasm building in my stomach from Rex's words instantly disappeared. I couldn't help the pout that ached to pull at my lips. What was with it with people thinking I look like a kid?

       Rex stepped closer to me, his hard chest almost flush against my back. I wouldn't have been surprised if he felt the heat creep up my spine and into the back of my neck. He was close, and despite the nervous shivers shaking through my body, I liked that very much.

       "I really don't think you want to talk about the age requirement of this place, Char." Rex's voice had darkened a notch or two, and even though it wasn't directed at me, I felt a twinge of fear shoot down my spine.

       Trey's older brother didn't seem fazed at all. Actually, I could have sworn I saw a smile start to tug on the corner of his lips before it quickly disappeared. I watched in amazement as he tossed a glass into the air, flipped the drying towel over his shoulder, then catch the glass effortlessly.

       "Just keep an eye on her then. Last thing I need is getting shut down for a dispute with a minor." He began to walk away, paused, then turned back around with a soft smile directed at me this time. "Sorry, rules and all that. It's nice to meet you Rose." He nodded, cast one last look at Rex then waved another bartender over.

       "I'm going to go check the door. Get these two whatever they want." He told the handsome blond boy, who couldn't have been much older than Rex, who walked over to take his spot.

       Then Charlie nodded one last time in our direction, and disappeared into the back of the bar. Rex's stiff body didn't relax one bit behind me, if anything he seemed to only press closer as the crowd grew.

       "Hey, I'm Drew. What can I get you guys?"

       The pretty blond-boy smiled over at us, his voice clear enough over the commotion of the crowd. He had green eyes too, though his were much dark than Trey's and his brothers, and he was tall-nearly as tall as the boy behind me, but Rex beat him in the buff-status almost one-hundred percent.

       "Beer for me, don't care which. Get her a soda or whatever." Rex's voice was that emotionless drawl he had used on Jason so effectively the day before, and the reminder of it made panic squeeze my chest.

       I hadn't realized I was staring blankly down at the bar-top, my mind trying to force the images of Rex viciously beating the football player's head against the concrete out of my mind, until hot breath brushed against the shell of my ear.

       "Do you want something to drink or not?"

       I jumped as Rex's voice murmured in my ear, and my eyes snapped up to the still smiling Drew who was waiting patiently for my answer. I hadn't realized Rex was that close.

       "Uh, um, can I get what you're drinking?"

       I knew what beer was, but I never tried it before. Luce and Tate would drink it occasionally, but they would never let me try any, and dad was never home to let me either. It's not like I had a lot of friends who could bring me some. I wasn't sure if it was any good, but it seemed to make Luce and Tate happy so I'm sure it was.

       Rex was shaking his head before I finished speaking. "Nope, not gonna' happen."

       I glanced over my shoulder and shot him a frown, one he only raised an unamused eyebrow at. "I want to try one." That hard, icy look in his eyes flickered for a moment, and I saw a flash of surprise, before going back to his usual glare.

       "You've never tried beer?"

       I shook my head, that heat from before staining my cheeks at the shock in his voice.

       "Have you ever tried alcohol, at all?"

       My cheeks only heated more at the accusation in his tone, and I shook my head again. I watched as his eyes closed, his hand left the bar beside me to pinch the bridge of his nose, and he let out a dark groan in the back of his throat.

       "Un-fucking-believable."

       I brought my eyes back to Drew, whose smile was slowly slipping as he glanced between us. "I-I guess I'll just have a lemonade..." I was surprised he heard my ashamed murmur over the noise in the club, but that smile was back and he shot me a quick wink beneath dark eyelashes. Now the blush was for a whole new reason.

       "No problem. I'll be right back." I watched as cute-blond boy hurried off to get our drinks, completely oblivious to the wall of fury behind me.

       "You just can't fucking help it, can you?" Rex's voice held such an icy venom as it snapped into my ear that I felt it zap straight through my chest and into my stomach.

       "H-Help what?" I couldn't control the terrified stutter in my voice as the stony chest pressed against my back began to vibrate in anger. Drew came back then and placed our drink on the table with a soft smile, though it quickly disappeared when he saw the volcano of fury behind me.

       "Batting those fucking eyes and having everyone crawl at your damn feet."

       Then I watched as he snatched the open beer bottle from the bar-top beside me, jerked away and stalked off into the mass crowd of sweaty bodies. I stood there in shocked, frozen disbelief. I had no idea what just happened, what I did to set him off. He had been fine a minute ago, and now he was back to hating my very existence.

       I hadn't realized I was shaking until I reached for the cold lemonade with trembling hands. And he left me alone, in a foreign place crowded with sweaty-and what looked like-grinding bodies. I took two heavy gulps of the cool, fruity drink, Drew watching me the entire time.

       "No offense," He started softly as those dark green eyes washed over my flushed face. "But your boyfriend seems like a major ass-hole."

       "He's not my boyfriend." I mumbled as people began to fill the space Rex had once occupied, pushing and shoving my body in every which way as they did.

       "Probably for the best then." Drew shot me one last smile before turning to an older dark-haired woman waving him over.

       The second he disappeared, I felt it. The panic that had started to surface earlier, the one that I had pushed away, was back with a vengeance. It had snuck up on me, much like the too-tall bodies caging me against the hard top of the bar. It was swirling around my stomach, clawing up my chest, and wrapping around my lungs like a straitjacket.

       Rex left me alone, in the middle of all these people. But he was a good-person, I knew that. He saved me more times than I could count. Then why would he leave me?

       Because everyone does.

       N-No, that's not true. Friends leave, but I didn't have any friends. Family stayed. Luce- Luce said family stayed.

       I chugged down the rest of the lemonade as if I had been stuck in the desert for months. It didn't help the panic though, and as a strange, large, hand suddenly grabbed my butt, it surged through me like a tsunami. I shot away from the bar like a bullet, leaving its gropers and cute blond-boy bartender behind.

       Why would Rex leave me for those- people? I couldn't-I couldn't handle that, not alone. I can't... can't be alone.

       Always alone.

       No, no! Dad said- dad said I would never be alone again. I had him, and Luce, and-and...

       I pushed urgently through the crowd, desperately trying to escape the panic, to run into the cool night air as the sun slipped behind the tree line. Too many people, too many thoughts, too much panic.

       People shouted at me as I shoved them out of the way, trampled over whatever was beneath my feet, clawing my way towards the entrance of the club. It took way too long to reach the door, and even longer trying to push through the bouncers and people trying to swarm in. But I was small, and I slipped through the half-naked bodies as if I were nothing.

       You are nothing.

       Cold air slapped me in the face the minute I ran outside, though it did nothing to help the air being suffocated from my lungs. I couldn't stop running yet, there were still too many people, too many thoughts.

       I completely ignored the sleek, black, convertible taunting me from the parking lot, and ran for the back of the building, my breath desperately wanting to hyperventilate. I finally stopped at the side of the building, right next to the smelly dumpster.

       My back slid down the rough brick wall of the club, my knees rising to my chest as the panic succeeded in squeezing all usable air from my lungs. What was wrong with me? Why did I always have to make him so mad? What do I do that makes everyone hate me?"

       There are some things that even God can't fix. You are all those things, Rosalyn.

       But dad said-

       He promised-

       Black dots started to dance across my vision, and the panic only grew.

       "No, no, no, no!" I cried into my knees, my arms wrapping tightly around them. This cannot be happening. I didn't have my medicine on me. I didn't have Luce or dad. I didn't have anyone.

       Can't see.

       Can't breathe.

       Panic.

       Darkness.

       "No, no!"

       I refuse! But the panic wouldn't listen to me, it wouldn't let me push it back down to my stomach then hide away completely. It was dead-set on killing me tonight. And I had no way to stop it.

       "You want to hear a story or not?"

       "No! Go away!"

       "Don't be like that. You'll like the story."

       "I don't care!"

       "Oh, just shut up and listen."

       He's not there. He's not there. He's not real. He's not real-

       But it was working, the memory from so long ago, of the one person who never left, who always followed, it helped-a little. The hyperventilating slowly stopped, though the panic was still trying to suffocate the light from eyes.

       "So, there's these bear-people, right?"

       "Rose."

       My eyes snapped up as a breathless voice reached my ears, though the panic only grew at the person crouching down in front of me. It almost looked like worry was drowning those dark, beautiful eyes, but the black spots were still in my vision. I was seeing things.

       "Take me home."

       Rex's large body hovered over mine, those dark eyes scanning my face as I tried to gulp down the panic enough so he wouldn't see. He already hated me, last thing I wanted was for him to see what a broken, useless, being I really was. He gave me one slow nod before grabbing onto my elbows and helping me ease to my feet.

       I resisted the urge to double over, curl into a ball and let the attack wash over me-but Rex was watching. He would see. He would know. I was trembling, I couldn't help it. My body refused to work and Rex had to keep one, large, firm hand securely on my upper arm to stop me from toppling over. Those chestnut eyes flickered across my face constantly. I tried to ignore him as he led me quietly to his car.

       "And they live in the woods!"

       "Oh, shut u-p." I stammered out loud as Jax's voice swarmed through my head again, his bright blue eyes and golden-blonde hair sticking like glue to mind.

       Rex's gaze snapped from his car to mine, and a frown pulled on his lips. "I didn't say anything..."

       I didn't answer him, and it was all I could do not to curl up like a dead bug in his seat and cry my eyes out after he lowered me into the car. I was too out of it to notice him put the seat-belt around me, and brush sweaty, damp, hair from my face, but I would worry about that later.

       Right now, I just needed to hold the attack off long enough to get home. I wasn't even aware of him climbing into the driver's seat and pulling the car out onto the street.

       "And they were zombies!"

       "That's stupid, Jax."

       But he was helping. He always did.

       I zoned in and out of reality a couple of times the whole ride back. I had no idea if Rex tried to talk to me, though I'm sure after tonight he never would again. Especially with Jax's stupid story in my mind and my actual voice answering him.

       I wasn't aware of the car stopping in front of my house, of the absolute, complete, chaos that broke out when Rex carried me inside. I was barely even aware of being set down in my bed and Luce forcing one of those God-awful pills down my throat.

       The only thing I was aware of, and the last thing that night, was the two very male, very furious voices shouting through my bedroom door, and Luce's bright blue eyes gazing down at me in complete worry as her soft hand rubbed down my hair over and over again.

       "You're not alone, Rosie. I'll never leave you alone."

-&-

       "I called dad last night." Luce spoke softly beside me, her gentle fingers running through my hair as I lay on my stomach facing away, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't answer.

       "He's coming home in a few days." She continued, her voice still that soft lull that was so rare from her.

       "There's no point." I finally croaked past tear-soaked lips, but she didn't mind the horrible sound of my voice. She never did when I was like this.

       "That was your first attack in months. He wants to make sure you're okay."

       "You can tell him I am."

       "He wants to see you. Don't be so hard on him." Her voice was still soft, still as gentle as a feather-like I was some porcelain doll that would break with one sharp word. I have before.

       "He will only leave after a few days anyway. There's no point." I repeated again, like that would make any difference. But Luce got her stubbornness from our dad and once they had their mind set on something there was no changing it.

       She let out a small sigh but didn't bother arguing. It wouldn't matter even if she did, dad would come home regardless what I said. It's not that I didn't want to see him, I missed him like crazy, it just sucked that he only came back when something bad happened-not when we actually wanted him to.

       We were quiet for a while after that, her fingers still combing through my hair as I clutched desperately onto my pillow. Those awful, painful tears still falling from my eyes.

       "One of those boys that picked you up the other day came over earlier." She started again, her voice almost distant as she finally took those worrying eyes off me. "Very polite, said his name was Trey. He wanted to check on you."

       Of course he would. Trey was a nice guy like that, a good person. He cared about his friends, would do anything for them. I had desperately hoped we could have been good friends one day. That didn't matter now.

       I stayed quiet as that heavy weight settled harder in my stomach. "He's a nice guy." I muttered into the pillow, imaging her nod in agreement behind me.

       "Yes, completely unlike the one that brought you home. What was his name? Rex or whatever? That boy has a lot of anger locked up inside." Her tone was so nonchalant, so oblivious to the fact the simple mention of him sent a knife straight through my heart.

       He had seen me at my near worse, just one step shy of a full-blown panic induced melt down. The one boy I had been crushing on since I returned to this horrible school. The one who had his friends walk me to class and beat up four boys for me. The one I would never see again. He might have hated me before, but now I knew I freaked him out too.

       "Is he the reason you have been skipping class?"

       I nodded, if only because it was true, and I was way too drained to bother lying to her-physically and emotionally. She made a 'hm' noise in the back of her throat, before her fingers left my hair to rub soothingly down my back.

       "He is very attractive, I'll give you that. But I don't think he's a good influence on you, Rosie." Her voice was back to that soft lull again, that persuasive murmur she gave Tate whenever she wanted something. "I don't want you hanging around him anymore. And Tate said-"

       "Don't worry." I cut her off as a fresh wave of water started to clog my eyes. I didn't want to hear about her disapproval of him, he got enough judgment from the rest of the town. Besides, Tate has been non-stop in his extreme dislike of Rex for the past three days. It was driving me crazy. "I doubt he will ever want to see me again."

       She went quiet, her hand still rubbing soothingly over my back. I didn't want to