Chapter 27

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Chapter 27

       You don't always need the bad boy.

       You don't always need the arrogant attitude, or the superiority complex. You don't need the guy that will laugh at your pain or brush you off like you don't matter. Like you're no big deal.

       Then again, my version of "bad boys" comes from a very select, and narrow, TV show collection.

       And although that bad boy seems hot, like how his attitude and good looks rock your world, sometimes that's just not what you need.

       Sometimes the very person you need, the type of boy who can make your head spin and cause you to swoon on your feet, is a guy who would wake up in the middle of the night, walk into your room, and rock you out of terrible nightmare-after terrible nightmare.

       My type of boy.

       "I got you, baby."

       "Rex." I sobbed hoarsely as his arms wrapped around me tighter until they felt like thick vines holding me securely. I curled myself into his chest like a toddler as he rocked my shaking body.

       "It's okay my Roza. Sh, it's okay."

       I don't know why those words eased the hollow, vicious, ache in my chest, or why his gruff voice washed over me like a warm embrace. But I did know that I would never let him go.

       I curled my fingers into his shirt and pushed my red face into his chest. Despite his gentle rocking my body still shook, my chest still ached, and my throat hurt from the vicious sobs tearing through it.

       "Sh, sh, baby flower. I'm going to tell you a story, okay?" I could barely nod against his chest as my body shook, but he continued anyway.

       "When I was little," His voice was soft and gentle as he brushed the hair from my face and ran his lips gently over the top of my head. "And I had a bad dream, my mom would come into my room and read me a chapter from this book." His voice was so soft and low that I had to try and force my sobs to stop so I could pay attention.

       I never wanted him to stop talking.

       "It was the most stupid book ever." He chuckled at the thought before he went back to nuzzling his face in my hair, right by my ear. "It had something to do with talking trains and an overly excited conductor, but it worked." His fingers brushed my lower back gently, just under where my nightshirt had scrunched up.

       I uncurled one of my hands from around his shirt to grasp gently at one of the biceps that was squeezing me tightly.

       "Her voice was so calm and gentle, that I would have listened to her tell me anything and it would have calmed me down just the same." My sobs started to ease and fade away as his voice soothed the pain from my chest, the same as his mom's did for him.

       "She" –hiccups- "Sounds amazing." I mumbled into his chest as his hands began to gentle massage my lower back soothingly.

       He sighed into my hair before he pressed his forehead into the crook of my neck.

       "She was."

       "I never knew my mom." I hiccuped again before pulling back from his chest just enough to wipe at my face. I didn't get very far before his giant arms pulled me tightly back into his chest though.

       "I know, Roza."

       "But she had to be great. Luce used to talk about her when I was younger. Dad never did, and neither of them do now." He was quiet as I rubbed my forehead against his chest and wrapped my arm around his back.

       "I used to wonder if things would have been different if she hadn't died. If I never would have went into the system, if we would have been this one big happy family. Would she have liked me?"

       Rex seemed tense as I squeezed him tightly and pressed my cheek into his hard chest. I was on a roll though. I couldn't stop now. Thoughts from years, and years ago flew through my mind in a busy blur.

       Would my mother had liked me? Would she have loved me like Luce said she loved her? Would she be able to keep my grandparents away? Dad wouldn't have been depressed. He wouldn't have given them the incentive to take me.

       That's when the darker thoughts began to fly through my head.

       Dad wouldn't have gone into that depression. Luce wouldn't have become so hard. They wouldn't have been able to do anything to me, if she was still alive. I wouldn't have gone through the years of excruciating pain that I did if she was still here.

       But, then again, what did that matter? I didn't really have an actual purpose here. Sure I had dad, and Luce, and even Rex, but they were my family, my friends... they weren't a purpose.

       They weren't a reason.

       Rex's body grew stiffer with each passing second. Like he could feel the thoughts that were running through my head.

       "She would still be alive, you know? If I was never born."

      "Rosalyn."

      I hadn't even realized the death grip Rex was holding my chin in, or the angle he had turned my face in until I opened my eyes and his dark orbs were staring daggers into mine.

      "Never, and I fucking mean, never talk like that again."

      "But I was just saying-"

       "I'm serious, Rosalyn. Stop." I frowned as he suddenly let go of my chin and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

       "You have no fucking idea what- What I-" He licked his lips and closed his eyes as if his words hurt to speak them. I waited patiently as his grip around me loosened and he ran his hand down his face.

       "You have no fucking idea where I would be, who I would be, without you." He snapped his eyes opened and stared at me with such serious chestnut eyes that it made my chest ache.

       My frown deepened.

       "You would have been with the others, in Trey's music room, that you designed, arguing over bands and sport's teams." A smile so small and-and sad tugged on the corners of his lips as I blinked up at him in confusion.

       "No baby flower, I wouldn't be."

       My frown only deepened as he pulled me closer once again and kissed my forehead. "So don't say things like that. Don't think things like that, Roza." He kissed my temple as he scooped me back into his arms and cradled me once again to his chest.

       "Because you mean more to me than anything else has in a very long time."

       Tears entered my eyes for a whole other reason this time, and before I knew it I was wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and burying my face into his neck. The feel in my chest so strong that I couldn't find enough words to describe it. I wanted to lean up and tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him, but I couldn't.

       That would ruin this. What we had. How close we were holding each other, and how amazing his words made me feel.

       "Now, baby flower," He cooed gently as he pried my tear streaked face from his neck to run his rough thumbs under my eyes, "Tell me what your dream was about."

       I closed my eyes as the chestnut of his urged me to tell him, to tell him the truth. I could tell him though... He would never know the true meaning behind it. The 'why' it was there. He would just think it was another run of the mill nightmare.

       Yes, I could tell him.

       "I... I was in a room, a dark room. There was no windows, no vents, just a door. One solid wooden door with a tiny slit in the center." The images came flooding back. The room, the door, the lock. And the terrifying panic that came with the room hit me to.

       "I was alone. On the floor. There was nothing else. No noise, no light, no food. There was barely even air. And it was so hard to breathe." My breath wheezed as if to prove my point, and Rex's eyes quickly began to darken in worry.

       "It's okay Rose. It's alright. You can stop now."

       "And there was a lock. A big lock. A thick, big lock. From the outside. There was no knob on the door, and I couldn't get out. Rex, I-I couldn't get out! And-"

       "Rose, Roza, I get it, okay? Stop baby, stop." He placed his hand firmly over my mouth and began peppering light kisses across my forehead to make me shut up.

       It was working.

       All I could do was nod as he lifted his palm from my mouth and wrapped his fingers into my hair. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you." He murmured softly as I curled back into his chest and buried my face into his neck.

       "I know Rex."

-&-

       "You had a bad dream last night." Jax announced out of the blue the next day as we sat on the floor of my living room. I glanced over at him and narrowed my eyes as he raised an expectant eyebrow at me.

       "You could always tell." I grumbled under my breath as I picked at a loose string on my sweater. We were sitting crisscross with our backs against the couch, watching the Dimajio brothers bicker over what move to watch.

       Trey had gone to the police station to talk to his dad about something and Rex was talking adamantly into the phone on the couch above us. His feet were planted firmly on the floor on either side of me and I couldn't resist the urge to keep messing with his laces.

       Jax just shrugged and winked at me before opening his big mouth. "Spill, carrot top."

       I narrowed my eyes at the old nickname, but smiled at him when he leaned over and tapped the top of my knee. I had to lean forward rather far to see him around Rex's leg, but neither of us really minded. I didn't even mind when Rex would let out a dark grumble around the phone and gently pull on the back of my shirt until I was leaning against the couch again so he could run his fingers through my hair.

       We've been doing this same routine almost all afternoon.

       And Rex has been on the phone for almost that whole time.

       "It's nothing Jax, really."

       I was able to watch him narrow his eyes at me just in time before Rex, once again, gently pulled me back between his legs. I peered up at him over my shoulder and he gave me a slow sexy smile, that made my heart skip up beat, before he tapped the tip of my nose and gently turned my head back around.

       I had no idea who he was talking to on that phone, but they had been conversing for a while, and the slight tinge of jealousy I was feeling was... weird. Rex had been giving me so much attention lately that when I actually didn't have it I got upset.

       God I was pathetic.

       "Just tell me Rosie. I'll squeeze it out of you eventually."

       I let out a heavy sigh before resting my head against Rex's knee as his fingers began to slowly massage the back of my head. I swear this boy was trying to make me fall asleep.

       "It was just about the room." I tried to keep my voice low so Rex wouldn't hear. After I told him about the nightmare he had rocked me back to sleep like the child I was acting like... not that I didn't enjoy it.

       He thought it was just a dream. A nightmare caused by some scary movie or show that I had watched.

       I didn't need him to know that it was real.

       "The room? The room?" Jax's voice hissed from the other side of Rex's leg and I peaked at him through the gap between his shin and the couch.

       "Sh! Quiet!" I hissed back at him as Rex finally began his goodbyes with whoever was on the phone.

       "I'll tell you about it later."

       I didn't get to hear his reply since two strong hands had reached down and pulled me up and onto a pair of strong thighs.

       "I hate talking on the phone." Rex grumbled into my ear as he placed me closely next to him and snuggled me firmly into his side.

       "Well, you were on it for a while." I grumbled as he slung his arm across my shoulders lazily.

       "Yeah, I know. Boss man at the gym had some things to discuss." He gave me a quick half smile before chucking his phone on the table.

       My interest was spiked.

       "What things?"

       I wiggled casually away from him just enough so I could throw my legs over his and lean my side against the back of the couch. He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't question the move as he began to rub slow circles into my jean cladded shins.

       "Boxing things."

       "Rex."

       He rolled his eyes, which I scowled at, and was fixing to open his mouth to speak when his phone rang again. This time I rolled my eyes. He leaned forward and grabbed his phone from the table before leaning back. I barely had a chance to glance at the name that flashed across the screen before Rex held it out of my eyesight.

       Andrew Turner.

       Turner? As in Rex Turner? Is that his dad? Or does he have another brother I don't know about? A frown seemed firmly etched on his face when I glanced up at him and my stomach dropped as he began to stand.

       "Rex? Where are you going?" I hadn't realized I was holding onto his arm like a vine until he gently pried my fingers apart.

       "I'll only be a few minutes, baby. I promise." He leaned over and kissed my cheek before standing up quickly and leaving the room.

       My frown deepened.

       "And I thought you had abandonment issues before." A voice chuckled from below me and I scowled at the blonde jock who winked up at me.

       "Shut up, Jax."

       The rest of the day went by rather fast. It felt like only minutes had passed and before I knew it, it was pitch black out. The boy's had all gone home, and I was passed out with my head on Rex's shoulder.

       "Who was Andrew?" I asked groggily as Rex carried my dead weight up the stairs. His firm body froze under me half way up the steps, and I regretted asking as he gently pried my face away from his neck.

       "How do you know that name, Rosalyn?" His eyes were hard and dark, and the chestnut I loved so much was nowhere in sight. I frowned as the grip he held on my jaw tightened.

       "I saw it flashing on your phone earlier." His body relaxed instantly and the firm grip on my head loosened until he was easing me back into his neck. "He's just a... business partner." He started our ascent back up the stairs and didn't stop again till we reached the second floor.

       "His last name was Turner."

       "There's a lot of Turners in the world, Rose."

       "It was your dad, wasn't it?"

       He let out a heavy sigh as he walked down the hall and into Luce's bedroom. She was staying at a friend's house for a study night, which was fine by me. But honestly, if she wanted us in separate rooms so badly she shouldn't leave us alone all the time.

       "We're not talking about this."

       "Rex."

       "Don't Rex me, Rosalyn. It's late. Go to bed." He all but threw me on the bed before he turned on his heel and basically stormed out.

       "Rex!" I yelled after him, but he didn't answer. I frowned at the door that he left wide open and slapped the bed on either side of me.

       Well, looks like it's going to be another sleepless night for me-

       The door slamming shut made my whole body jump in surprise and I stared wide eyed at a shirtless, and rather grumpy, looking Rex. He barely even glanced at me as he turned off the light and went to lay down on the other side of the bed. Even if he's not going to talk to me, at least he's sleeping in here with me. I let out a small sigh before standing up off the bed and heading towards my suitcase that still held all my clothes.

       "What are you doing?" Rex asked the minute my feet touched the hard floor. He didn't sound angry, but there was a tired aggravation there that made my chest tighten.

       "I'm going to change." I mumbled quietly as I grabbed my pajamas and headed towards the bathroom. I didn't want him to be mad at me... I hated when he was mad at me. But we were supposed to be over that whole "keeping things from each other" thing, and yet he was still not telling me things.

       I took longer in the bathroom than what I intended, but I ended up grabbing a clean pair of underwear and taking a shower. Tate was locked up, probably for good, there was only one more day until school started again, Rex was still hiding things from me, and I probably wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. I needed an extra hot shower.

       It was a good twenty, if not thirty, minutes before I walked back into the room after combing my hair and brushing my teeth. I let out another sigh as I saw the big dark lump under the covers moving slightly with his breathing. I pulled at the end of my shirt distractedly as I dragged my heavy feet back to the bed.

       It felt... wrong sleeping in the same bed when he was mad at me. When he was hiding things from me. I stood awkwardly at the side of the bed, just staring down at the spot where I should be trying to fall asleep.

       And I couldn't do it.

       My chest tightened and I could feel water beginning to fill my eyes. God, I really was pathetic.

       I shook my head viciously and rubbed my fists into my eyes before I turned on my heels and walked quietly out of the room. I wasn't going to be able to sleep either in there or not anyways, so what's the point staying there. I walked quietly down the hallway, not really because I needed to just because it was habit. But when I reached my room my steps faltered.

       I turned slowly towards the closed white door and stared at the silver handle. I couldn't go in there. I couldn't. There was still this uneasy, sickening feeling in my stomach just looking at the thing. I didn't want to know what would happened if I actually went in my room.

       I ran my fingers through my wet hair warily before starting a rather fast decent down the stairs. I had to get away from there. I dragged my tired body into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle before I walked into the living room. I didn't want to try and sleep in the guest room. Rex's stuff was everywhere and I just knew I wouldn't be able to even lie down in the bed without wanting to cry.

       I grabbed a blanket out of the chest we kept under the window and curled up under it on the couch.

       Here's to more sleepless nights.

-&-

       Gentle movements brushed the hair off of my forehead before they slowly began to trace the lines of my face. I let out a content sigh as the gruff fingers roamed over my jaw. I blinked open my eyes groggily as the dark chestnut of his loomed over me.

        "Why aren't you upstairs, baby flower?" His voice was soft, and the remorseful look in his eyes told me he already knew the answer to that.

       "You were mad at me."

       "No I-"

       "You're still hiding things from me." His mouth snapped shut at my words and his gently fingers stilled against my face. "I thought you weren't going to hide things from me anymore..."

       "Roza," He dropped to his knees at my side and cupped my face in both of his hands as those dark chestnut orbs sent chills down my

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