ATITTIES

me
and that's how i came to
actually have a giant penis

san
i feel so enlightened

yeosang
did i just get smarter

jongho
??

hongjoong
i wasn't present for the
beginning of the convo
and i cannot be bothered
nor do i feel safe scrolling
back to find out how we
got here

seonghwa
wow i'm so afraid of everything
you just said yuna

me
yep

me
that's how i get so many
bitches it's like i'm a
magnet or something

wooyoung
teach me your ways

san
is a stadium of 10k+
people who paid to see
you sing and dance not
enough for you

yeosang
after that... nothing will
ever be enough for me

wooyoung
i personally feel the need
to see this giant cock of
yours yuna

me
sorry

me
i can't just show it to
whoever you'll have to
pay me

mingi
i didn't have to pay ;)

me
MINGI

yunho
WAIT HOLD UP SEX ?????

yunho
LIKE FR THO

me
NO WE DIDNT STOP
BEING WEIRD WE DIDNT

wooyoung
OMG YOU TOTALLT DID

mingi
psh no

san
omg you two are so obvious
just say you fucked and we
can move on

me
...

me
maybe idk

mingi
yeah we did

me
MINGI YOU SAID YOU
WOULDNT GIVE INTO
PEER PRESSURE AND
YOU IMMEDIATELY DID
HOW CAN I EVER TRUST
WITH ANYTHING EVER
AGAIN

mingi
IM LESS CONCERNED
ABOUT MY LACK OF
WILLPOWER THAN I AM
ABOUT THE FACT THAT
YUNHO HAS BEEN
SILENT FOR SO LONG

yunho
sorry i'm just so confused

yunho
how did mingi and yuna

yunho
my best friend and my sister

yunho
how

me
SO WE CAN GET MARRIED
BUT WERE NEVER
ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX

yunho
OBVIOUSLY NOT YOU
WHORES

mingi
????

me
what kind of backwards
logic

wooyoung
all i'm saying is congratulations
you're no longer losers

yeosang

why're you congratulating
them for doing it

san
yeah that's low key weird

jongho
they totally fist bumped
afterwards tho

me
HOW TF DID YOU KNOW
THAT

mingi
ONLY COZ I WAS PROUD
OF HER

me
MINGI.

me
STOP.

me
TALKING.

me
GOD THIS IS SO
EMBARRASSING PLEASE
JUST LET ME CRAWL INTO
A HOLE AND LIVE IN
PEACE LET ME BECOME
A HERMIT

seonghwa
yh come on guys just leave
them alone

seonghwa
it's normal and it was
bound to happen at some
point

yeosang
yeah but we weren't
supposed to know about
it

hongjoong
seriously? we've lived
together for four years and
you thought you wouldn't
have to hear about it

hongjoong
regardless of whether or not
it was mingi and yuna you
genuinely thought that you
wouldn't be hearing about
your roommate and their
partner doing the nitty gritty

yeosang
YES

hongjoong
you're sleeping outside
tonight i don't care what
your mother says

yeosang
MOTHER????

seonghwa
what you said a dumb thing
so there's a dumb
consequence sorry not sorry

me
well thanks for getting over
it so quickly

mingi
yh right back at you

me
wtf is that supposed to mean
why is there so much anger
in your tone

mingi
well personally i think that
last night was very special
but you don't seem to care
too much about it

me
stfu

mingi
DONT TALK TO ME LIKE
THAT I LOVE YOU
THEREFORE IT HURTS
MORE WHEN YOURE MEAN
TO ME

me
sorry but i do actually care
a lot i'd just rather not talk
about it here especially
where my brother can see it
and is very clearly
traumatised by it

yunho
IT JUST DOESNT MAKE
SENSE

seonghwa
like i said it's a normal
fucking thing grow up
a little

me
OKAY

me
clearly the fact that mingi

and i took it to the next level
(stan aespa and vin diesel)
last night is bringing up other
issues and i do not wish to be
present when said issues are
addressed therefore i will be
taking my leave as of now

me
sayonara suckers

mingi
lowkey tho i agree so i'm
gonna leave if we're just
gonna talk about what
happened last night

yunho
OKAY FINE ILL STOP
CRYING JEEZ

me
WTF ARE YOU CRYING FOR

me
I SHOULD BE CRYING
I THINK HE RIPPED IT
SO NOW ITS JUST ONE
HOLE HES SO BIG

yunho
I THOUGHT WE WERENT
TALKING ABOUT IT

me
I DONT THINK I CAN HAVE
CHILDREN

mingi
we could always try ;)

wooyoung
ewwy

jongho
SHUT UP MY SHOULDERS
ARE EATING MY EARS
THIS ISNT FUNNY

seonghwa
yuna go to the fucking doctor

me
WHY ARE YOU ANGRY

seonghwa
WHENEVER YOU GET
HURT INSTEAD OF GOING
TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL
HELP YOU COME TO US
GIGGLING AND JOKING
LIKE A CONCUSSION IS A
THING PEOPLE SHOULD BE
HAVING EVERY FUCKING
DAY

me
uhh if you're living life to
the fullest getting a concussion
should at least be on your
everyday to do list

hongjoong
yuna please

mingi
there's no way it hurt that
bad tho right

me
MINGI ITS DIAMETER IS
FUCKING TEN CM WIDER
THAN WHAT IT SHOULD
BE PISS DOESNT GET HELD
IN ANYMORE IT JUST FALLS
STRAIGHT OUT I CANT EVEN
SIT DOWN

mingi
woah #sorry

wooyoung
WHY DID YOU HASHTAG
SORRY THAT JUST MAKES
IT EVEN MORE INSINCERE

me
i think it's less sincere not
more insincere

wooyoung
BRO SHUT UP

san
I DONT KNOW WHATS
HAPPENING SO NOW IM
JUST SCREAMING AND
I CANT STOP

me
I CANT STOP ME CANT
STOP ME RISKY RISKY
WIGGY WIGGY THIS IS
AN EMGERENCY HELP ME
HELP ME SOMEBODY HELP
ME COZ I KNOW I CANT STOP
ME

seonghwa
THIS IS NOT THE TIME
FOR TWICE GO TO THE

FUCKING HOSPITAL

me
ITS ALWAYS THE TIME FOR
TWICE DONT EVER SAY THAY
AGAIN

mingi
i'm choosing to live the
remainder of my life in
hibernation in canada so
goodbye

yunho
WHY AM I CRYING BECAUSE
MY BEST FRIEND SLEPT WITH
MY SISTER

mingi
WE SLEEP TOGETHER ALL
THE TIME ????

me
NOT LIKE THAT WE DONT
YOU DUMBASS

mingi
STOP IM NOT DUMB

me
NO BUT YOUR ASS IS
BIGGER THAN MINE AND
IT MAKES ME INSECURE
SO STFU

wooyoung
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE
TO DO WITH ANYTHING

seonghwa
OMG I THINK I HATE YOU
ALL

hongjoong
OMG ME TOO

yeosang
I CANT WITH YOU IDIOTS
ANYMORE I WANNA QUIT

me
THAN CALL QUIT HELPLINE
OR WHAYEVER THEYRE
CALLED

san
THATS TO HELO YOU
QUIT SMOKING DUMBASS

me
HOW AM I DUMB BECAUSE
IM SMOKING HOT FUCK YOU
SAN

mingi
YOU FUCKED SAN TOO ??

me
OMFG ?!??!?!!

san
YOU DID ?!??!!?

san
I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT
THIS I SWEAR ON
WOOYOUNGS LIFE

wooyoung
WHY MY LIFE

me
IT WAS ALL A LIE WE DIDNT
DO ANYTHING LAST NIGHT
WE JUST CUDDLED AND THAN
HE TICKLED ME AND I FELL
AND THEN WE HAD A ROMANTIC
MOMENT BEFORE I REALISED
MY FINGERS WERE ON FIRE
BECAUSE I LANDED ON MY
HAND WITH THE BROKEN
FINGERS AND THEY BROKE
AGAIN OKAY IM SORRY

me
WE JUST DECIDED TO PRANK
YOU BEVAUSE WE DONT KNOW
WTF TO DO RN MY FONGERS
ARE THE WRONG WAY AND I
THINK I MAY HAVE TOO MANY

seonghwa
GO TO THE FUCKING
HOSPITAL

me
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH

yunho
i'm disintegrating

jongho
aww this chat is so chaotic
and fucked up and i'm
mcfuckin lovin it

AUTHOR

weird filler because i'm
out of creative writing
juice and i can only think
of the most incredible
way to end this book but
it isn't ready to end yet

another few chapters in the
oven and i think it'll be done
so let me know if there's
anything in particular you want
to see happen

okay bye !

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
CHAPTER HOW IS IT
RELEVANT

it's not it's a filler dickhead

FUCK YOU