I sit staring at the black file placed on my desk that is kept untouched. I keep fidgeting with my fingers and tapping my foot.

Should I? Arham, here? He might be some other Arham, there might be so many Syed Arham Hooda right?

My fingers tremble as I pick up the file. My heart beat races as I slowly open the file, there is knock at the door. I jumped up, I place my hand on my chest to calm my breathing.

'Ye...Come in' I say.

The door opens and a young man enters. I look up and I find my breath caught in my throat as I stare at a pair of familiar grey eyes.

Arham Hooda stands in front of me, I gulp. He has grown to be a very handsome man like I had imagined.

I look at him, he has tanned a bit, his grey eyes looked tried and the glow on his face missing. Last one year took a real toll on his health.

He is tall around 5'10 and he seems to look lean yet muscular though I can't make out much as he is wearing a full suit. His clean smooth cheeks are now matted with few week old stubbles.

Just one look at him and I feel an old spark ignite inside me, a spark that had always been there.

'You had called for me, Ma'am?' he says

His voice has matured to a deep baritone; his voice send shiver down my spine.

I shake my head slightly

'Ye...Yes...' I say. I am the boss here; I should not fall weak.

He stands there simply waiting for me to go on. I am amazed about his reaction; doesn't he recognize me. Maybe he got the shock two days back.

'I wanted to know about what progress you have done' I say, in reality I just wanted to see him but of course I can't tell him that so I made up some excuse.

'Sure, Ma'am. I will give you the report in the evening' he replies confidently. His confidence remains the same as when he was sixteen.

I nod my head 'You may go' I say, feeling disappointed that I don't have any more excuse to stop him.

He leaves and I stare at the door for few minutes before turning my attention towards the file. I opened the file and saw his passport sized photo. Without wasting a second I quickly click his photo and saved it in my phone's gallery.

I quickly saw his details

NAME: SYED ARHAM HOODA

FATHER'S NAME: SYED JAVED HOODA

MOTHER'S NAME: ZEENAT HOODA

DATE OF BIRTH: 10TH APRIL 1990

Blah blah...

....

MARTIAL STATUS: DIVORCED

I frown, could it be possible that he married Nooren?

In the evening I enter my cabin, I had gone to freshen up. I notice a red file on my desk. I opened the file and smile realizing that it is the report Arham had said he will give. He is punctual and very efficient as Mr. Kapoor described him to be. I knew Arham is efficient, dedicated and very focused.

'Dude, he has become so much more handsome' Gunjan shrieks as she sees his pic in my mobile.

First thing I did after coming from work is tell Gunjan about Arham, without wasting any time she demanded to see his photo, she didn't even ask any more detail.

It's been ten minutes and she is still gawking the photo. I am sitting on a bean bag in her room immersed in my own thought.

'Dude, Kya Hua?' Gunjan asks after she finally noticed something is bothering me. She sits beside me on the floor folding her legs together. I keep staring at the wall in front. I sigh

'Dude, he is divorced' I say not looking at her, Gunjan's mouth drops open. I turn my head and look at her.

'OMG! You think he married Nooren' Gunjan says placing her palm over her mouth. She echoed my thought, ever since I found about his divorce I am guessing the same.

'He has a daughter too' I say and Gunjan jaw drops a little bit more. I lean back against the bean bag and look upwards.

"Dude, you think karma got him"

Gunjan had said few days ago, and her words now reverberate in my ears. No matter what happened between us, the thought of him having pain gave me pain too. I didn't understand the connection.

*

I held my cheek, it burns. I couldn't believe what just happened. In my sixteen years of existence this is the first time my father has slapped me.

'This girl has shamed us beyond anything. Not in my wildest dream did I imagine her to turn out like this' he roars. My Mother simply quivers, tears streaming down her cheeks. My brother is standing there looking confused and scared.

Tears sting my eyes.

The car ride from school to home was deadly silent one, I knew it is silence before the storm but I didn't know it will be this worse.

My Dad is standing there fuming like an angry bull, his eyes blazing and nose flaring. I have never seen him this angry ever, I am hell scared.

'Go your room and never show me your face again' he screams and without second thought I ran into my room.

'No one will speak to her, Aasma no food or water for her for today...if I see anyone anywhere near her then I will throw them and her out of my house.' I hear him growl at my mother and brother. I shut the door and run to my bed.

I hugged my teddy tightly and started to cry badly. I can bear anything but not the shame and anger in my father's eyes. I feel so lonely, whenever I am upset my mother is always there but today there is no one. I am left alone and all is his fault.

I twist the knob of the shower and let the cool water drench me. I stand there still fully clothed and shivering. I hugged myself and continue to cry. After few minutes I realized what is the whole point of crying like a baby. Will it change anything? Nothing. It will make me feel more miserable while nothing will happen to Arham.

I and Arham, we both were kissing right? Then why am I the only one being subjected to this shame while he gets away with it. His face wasn't seen so what? They all can see it was a boy I was kissing then why not find out who he is? Why not shame him? why not bring his parents? And what wrong were we doing? Is kissing a guy I love a crime? Why are they treating me this way?

I wipe my tears promising myself to never cry again, especially for a guy. A guy who just wanted to make a mockery of me, my feelings.

What did he want to prove? That a fatso like me can't get love? Don't people like me have right to love, to be loved? Was it all game...joke for him? I will prove him, I show him that I too can achieve things, I can be desirable too ...I will have a better life and he will rot for what he did to me...yes, he will.

From that day I was on a transformation mission. I started to take my diet seriously and also took full membership in gym. I did exercises at home too. Whenever I was down I closed my eyes and recollected his face, him laughing at me and got the strength to not give up. I needed a push and the heartbreak that he gave me acted as the push I needed. My mom was my support through my journey. Gunjan too stood by me and gave me encouragement.

I had lost all contact with Arham. Though in the heat of the moment I had cursed him but I didn't mean it.

This is how a girl loves, no matter how big a heart break the guy gives them they keep loving him. What I feel for Arham is unconditional love, I didn't know then but I know now.

*

I enter my balcony, it's very late in the night but I am not able to sleep. The light cool breeze hits my face and I relax. I sit on a chair and look out at the night sky. I take out my mobile and look at his photo.

This is clearly an old picture of his, he looks cheerful and has a glow on his face unlike how I saw him today morning.

I opened my contacts, I had quickly saved his number from his details but I am in two minds. Should I call him? no, I should keep this strictly professional. I place the phone on table and lean back against the chair and stretched my leg on the table one over the other. I wonder if he remembers me. He should definitely remember the fatso, whose life he ruined?

Gunjan had asked me to confront him but I had refused. I am passed that revenge mode or trying to show him down, I want nothing to do with him. He is my employee and I am his boss and I would like to keep it that way. But I couldn't help but feel curious about him, his life.

Next day I am waiting for the elevator, in my head I am concocting plans to make an interaction with Arham. But it shouldn't make me look like a despo, which I actually am, but only to find out more about him and why he is like this?

The elevator door opens and I am rooted on spot on seeing Arham in the elevator. I feel awkward debating should I enter or not, but then I shrugged and enter in.

As the door closes I could feel my traitor heart beat fast again, my breath getting uneven and sweat beads forming in my palms.

He is standing right behind me. Is he looking at me? Damn! I should have applied more perfume and some make up. I tilt my head slightly to look at him from corner of my eye but then I quickly look away feeling scared of getting caught.

Just then there is a jerk, I held the lift wall for support. Suddenly the lift stops.

'What...happen....?' I say and then the lights go off. Gosh! I am panicking now.

'I think current went off' I hear his firm voice and turn back. 'Are you claustrophobic?' he asks me.

'N...No...' I say trying to sound confident but my voice comes out as a mere whisper. I am really scared of dark and now this close space. It's like its closing on me, I feel suffocated.

'Good, we should wait for the current to come' he says. I look at him, as my eyes adjust to the darkness I could see his features. In this low light also his face looks gorgeous. The dim light from crack in the joint of the lift door illuminate his sharp features. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

'When will the current come?' I manage to say after few seconds

'Don't know Ma'am' he says. When he calls me, Ma'am, it makes me feel proud yet disappointed that he isn't saying my first name.

I feel my head spin with all the stuffiness. I held my head with one hand and with the other I held on the elevator wall. My palms are sweaty and my hand slip.

'Ahh...' I say as I stumble back. I didn't land on the floor but I felt my back hit his strong chest and my heart skipped a beat.

'Zahra' he says reflexively holding my shoulders. I tilt my head sideways and saw his face from up close, he looks even more handsome from up close. I notice sweat beads fall from his forehead and trickle down through his cheek and neck. I did a mental dance on hearing my name from his mouth, it sounded much more melodious this way.

'Are you fine?' he asks helping me stand. I nod 'Thanks...Arham' I say. I notice him stiffen when I say his name, he quickly moves his hand and takes a step back looking away. I didn't understand his reaction.

He moves to the other corner of the lift and I feel offended. I look away, is he repulsed by me? why is he here then? To work, you idiot, the rational side of my brain says. I couldn't agree more.

I tried calling Mr. Kapoor but there is no network. I then start to bang door

'Help! Is anybody there, help' I call out

'It's no use' I hear his voice, I turn around and frown

'At least I am doing something. Not just standing there' I snap at him. He doesn't respond and looks away. I banged the door hard and took a step back.

I am sweating like a pig now, and Arham is here, I can't afford to look so haphazard in front of him. Arham too seem to feel the heat, it's been ten minutes we are stuck here. Arham removes his coat and unbuttons his sleeve. I gulp noticing his muscle flex from underneath his shirt. He folds his sleeves up and notice deep scars on his left wrist. My eyes widen and my heart drops, did he...has he tried killing himself?