CHAPTER 1

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'I am surrounded by bunch of idiots' I yell slamming a file on the desk glaring at my incompetent employees. Three middle-aged men quiver standing opposite my table, their head held low.

I roll my eyes 'Get out' I say, immediately they nod their heads and leave. I sit on my chair.

Running an ad agency isn't easy, it's a big headache. Being 26yr old and running an ad agency is, even more, big headache. No one takes us seriously thinking we are young and new in this business. Even my "so called experienced" employees tend to act over smart and give me advice on how to run my business.

I sigh and take out a packet of cigarette. I started up this ad agency three years ago from scratch and within a small gap of time, it reached its height of success. I and my agency were the talks of the town. Suddenly I was there on every magazine cover and TV channels for being a young successful business woman, being inspiration to many. I feel really proud of my achievements. Now there are some men drooling over me, some woman envious, some men and women looking up at me for inspiration and the older generation trying to show they are wiser.

None of it mattered, people's opinion doesn't matter to me anymore. But it's funny to travel in time and realize how has time changed...people changed...

Summer, 2006

My family shifted from Delhi to Mumbai three days ago, my father wasn't satisfied with his job back in Delhi and Mumbai gave him a better option. I didn't like the idea of shifting. I had gotten used to all the strange looks and taunts back in school and my school mates too were used to me. I will not be missing them, but they sure might miss making fun of me.

Now going to new school and meeting new people, I didn't like the sound of it. I am no people's person.

'Ma...I don't want to go to school' I whine as I struggle to button my shirt, this is the 10th shirt I have outgrown.

'Now we need to get XL shirt for you, Zahra' my mother says angrily as she packs tiffin for me and my younger brother.

I am used to my mother's taunts as well. I know she doesn't taunt me to mock me or for her own pleasure, she does so I do something about my gaining weight problem. Well, I am trying. I had started those diet plans and exercise, we even have a mini gym. But I eventually lost interest and went back to my old routine.

My parents were fed up and eventually stopped nagging me. I need some serious motivation to shed these extra kilos.

My relatives aren't enough of motivation, my aunts every time they meet me the first thing they say 'Arey beta, you have gained so much weight'

'Arey Shaadi Kaun Karega tumse...'

'Khaa khaa ke bhains ho gayi hai...'

I shake my head in disgust. For getting married is it so necessary to be slim, why can't a boy accept me for who I am and not want me to be a beauty queen. I don't want to marry anyway, I hate boys. They are really superficial.

I climb on the bus and I am greeted with familiar looks from everyone, I hear giggles or maybe I am just being paranoid. I struggle walking through the narrow pathway in the bus. I look around looking for a seat.

'Arey, she will be needing two seats' I hear someone say from behind me

'Maybe the whole bus' another one goes on. It needs only one spark to ignite a whole fire, soon enough I hear more voice.

Tears brim my eyes but I blink my eyes taking in my tears.

'Excuse me' I hear a voice, I turn my head to my right and see a girl sitting there. She looks at me and shifts little in her place. She pats on the seat next to her silently gesturing me to sit. I held my head low and sat.

Few minutes later, the girl turns to face me and sticks out her hand 'Gunjan, class Xth B' she introduces herself. I feel hesitant in shaking her hand but then I think she is the first girl who had been friendly with me, so I shook her hand

'Zahra Malik...' I say, she smiles at me

'So are you new?' she asks

Soon we begin to chat, it was mostly her talking and me listening. I wondered why she is being so nice to a fatso like me, do I even deserve all this niceness?

We reached school soon, as I climb down the bus I find people stare at me again. Haven't they seen an overweight girl? Apparently not. I scan the entire campus as I walk towards my classroom I find all girls here are slim, some are thin and slightly overweight but not much as me. I feel pressure built up in me with all the piercing gaze on me. I hear people mummer something pointing shamelessly at my direction, I knew it was a matter of time that someone will ignite that fire and people will start giving their precious comments that I for one am not interested in taking.

'Hey' I hear familiar voice greet me at the door to class, I turn around and find Gunjan standing behind me

'You are in this class?' she asks me. I nod.

'Great, I am in here as well' she chirps, 'we will sit together...come' she says. Without any word I simply followed her in, she walks towards the last bench and takes her seat. I don't like sitting in the last bench, I always sit at the front seat. Even though I come into limelight then but I don't care, for me, academics comes first. This is the reason why I had always been a topper in my class as well in the state.

'Gunjan, I don't think I will sit here. I will sit at the front seat' I say meekly; she looks at me like I had said something taboo.

'You can't sit there, only the top students sit there' she says lowering her voice to a whisper, I frown at her. This is a new session and more over it's a free country, I have the right to sit anywhere I want.

I didn't want to argue with her but I can't sit on the last bench, I will be really distracted there. I like to be interactive in class and want to be noticed by the teachers. I have always been teacher's pet kind of student.

Luckily no one was sitting at the first bench, first benches are for over-enthusiastic students then why will the cream of the class want to sit there I wonder as I take my seat. I opened my bag and take out my notebook and text. I open my book and write today's date on the left top corner of the page, my first day in this new school. I feel excited to start my new innings in studies here; I smile looking at the date.

'Hey, Fatso' someone says slamming their hand on my book. My smile drops as I look up.

There is a girl standing there, she is the prettiest of the girls I have seen. She is slim and slightly tall than me, her hair light brown tied in a tight pony, her eyes grey, her lips thin tightly pressed together and her complexation fair. Her features sharp.

I am nothing in front of her. My mother says I am very pretty girl with chocolate brown eyes, pink pulp lips, white complexation and jet black hair but it's my weight that over shadows my beauty and even my personality. But then she is a mother, and to every mother, their child is the prettiest.

Looking at the beauty in front of me I feel extremely conscious. She is glaring at me like she will burn a hole on my face with just the intensity of her stare.

'Yes...'I say after I had found my voice

'Get up...this is my seat' she says sounding disinterested

"oh yeah, I don't see your name here" my mind says the cliché line, but me...I simply stand up taking my books and bag.

'Sorry,' I mumbled and turn around, with my head held low I walk towards an empty seat next to Gunjan.

'She is Nooren Shah, our class topper, and everyone's dream girl...you don't mess with her' Gunjan whispers taking out her own books. I look at Gunjan

'Everyone is being mean to me but you are so kind to me, why?' I ask the question that was bothering me ever since she spoke to me.

Gunjan looks at me and smiles 'because no one will befriend us, we must stand by with each other' she says

I look at her surprised, I am an overweight cartoon for everyone but why she? Gunjan is not exactly slim. She is thin, not too thin to be mocked, though. Gunjan smiles as though she read my expressions.

'I am dark na, that's why no one wants to be my friend' she says sadly

Only after she had pointed out, it strikes me. Suddenly now I am not feeling bad for myself or for Gunjan rather I feel bad for these superficial people.

I didn't look anywhere after that and focused my attention to my text book, usually no one starts the new session first day itself, it is mostly introduction but I wanted to be ahead. Not to show off because it will not matter to these superficial people, I will be tagged a nerd along with being called fatso.

Soon the class is buzzing with all the chatting and noises by the students, when I look up I am taken aback to see the class full. It's sea of students, these many students weren't there at my school. I get extremely nervous and conscious around people. I gulp.

Soon a middle-aged professor enters the class, robotically I stood up and say loudly in a rhythmic tone

'Good morning, teacher'

There is complete silence with every eye on me, even the professor gaps at me like I am an alien from outer space. I flush and look down, I want to just disappear from here.

Then everyone started laughing and I felt even more embarrassed, my eyes begin to tear up again as I fidgeted with my fingers looking down at my desk.

Gunjan places her hand over mine, I bite my lips trying to fight back my tears but they betray me. A lone tear falls from my eyes but the laughter didn't stop.

Can't they see I am hurt? The answer to it is, yes they can but they don't care. I wipe my tear with the back of fingers as I decided, I don't care about them either.

'Silence' the professor yells at the class and eventually the laughter dies out. Professor looks at me

'Are you new here?' he asks

I nod without looking up at him, tears still clogging my eyes.

'It's okay, it happens' he says warmly, I still don't look up.

'Fatso is embarrassed' I hear someone say, everyone starts to laugh again. My heart hurts, it hurts so damn much.

'Silence' the professor yells again and everyone quietens.

*

I return home, ignoring everyone I rush to my room. I toss my bag and flop on my bed flat on my stomach.

'Aa gayi, Moti' I hear my younger brother's voice. I raise my head up and see him sitting at the computer playing a football game, he is supposed to be resting as he had a high fever and had to miss school. Being in 6th std he is too over smart and full of himself. He was ladies man back in our old school, a 6th std kid, ladies man, are you serious? I roll my eyes and ignore him, I drop my head on the bed.

'Beta, lunch is ready' my mother says sitting beside me and caresses my hair, I ignore her and continue to have my head buried in the bed.

'I am not hungry' I mumble

'Moti isn't hungry. Ma I think sun rose from the west today' my brother gives his unnecessary opinion.

'Junaid, shut up' my mom says to my brother which he wouldn't have bothered paying any heed to.

It didn't take my mother much time to coax me to eat, she had made my favorite chicken and dal. I ate happily, it is my stress buster. I feel much better now.

That night I sit by the window holding my brown teddy tightly against my chest and look out into the darkness. The first day at school was a disaster, I was a laughing stock of the entire place. Gunjan had said me that I am now the new toy for the kids at school, everyone's attention has been diverted from Gunjan and other similar social misfits to me. I am the new scapegoat, the new bakra of school.

I sigh.

'Beta' my mother says and comes to sit opposite me, she is holding a glass of milk.

'Here... have this' she says forwarding the glass towards me, I take the glass without uttering a word.

'Everything alright beta, how was your first day?' my mother asks softly. Mothers are a unique creation of God, they somehow come to know that their kid is in trouble and they have some strange powers to solve it, they magically make everything seem better; When they are around it seems like nothing bad can happen.

'Everyone is making fun of me at school' I say wiping milk mustache from my upper lip. My mother takes the glass and smile at me

'They laugh at you because they don't know the real you...your real worth. Once they see your golden heart and dynamic personality, they will die to be friends with you' she says. See, mom power.

'Really' I say feeling lighter, she nods. I drop my teddy and hug my mother tightly. She had exaggerated a lot by adding golden heart and dynamic personality, I definitely don't have those but her words made me feel little confident, Thoda Sa.


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