Ain't No Thing Like Me

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"Hello, Luna Lovegood," Harry smiled.

"Apparently, congratulations are in order, Harry?" Luna remarked, gesturing at the banner.

"Yeah, only happened Saturday," Harry admitted.

"I'm happy for you," Luna beamed and leapt forward to hug him.

Harry couldn't help but laugh as he hugged one of his oldest friends back.

"Harry?" Skye asked, materialising beside him, a raised eyebrow and a small smile on her face.

"Skye. I'd like you to meet Luna Lovegood," Harry said, breaking off the hug. "Luna, this is Skye, my fiancé."

"It's a pleasure to meet you ..." Luna began before trailing off, her head cocking to the side. "You picked a nice name for yourself but your true name is also quite nice. You might consider using it more."

Skye's eyes widened and her startled expression met Harry's own amused one.

"Luna's magical, like me," Harry explained. "and has a ... unique way of seeing the world. We actually went to school together."

"You did?" Skye asked, latching her arm through Luna's. "That'd mean that you know all the juicy goss of young Harry. Tell. Me. Everything."

This time, it was Harry's turn to don the startled expression.

"Before you get into that, how about you tell me what brought you here, Luna," Harry suggested.

"Oh, that's easy. I need your help to find a brand new creature," Luna beamed. "I don't know what it's called just yet, but it can be found in San Francisco and looks like this."

Here, Luna pulled out a picture from her purse and handed it to Harry. He took one look at it and cocked his head.

"Um, Luna, that's an ant," he stated.

"That's just what it wants you to think," Luna said, leaning forward to whisper conspiracally.

"It does look rather large for an ant," Skye remarked, peering over Harry's shoulder.

"Did someone say something about ants?" Sam asked, stepping into the conversation.

ooo00ooo

"Well, I suppose if mountain views are your thing, this'd be considered acceptable," Tony remarked as he and Rhodey approached 'Central City', the old Army base that had apparently been given to the team responsible for preventing the global catastrophe in Montana.

The two cut their repulsors so that they were hovering over the area and took it all in.

Central City was primarily a mountain. The face of it, though, proved that it was no ordinary mountain. There was a large concrete structure built into the base of it, much like a great doorway. And while much of the mountain retained its natural shape, this side of it had been hewn so that it appeared almost sheer. In three places, there were 'balconies' cut into the rock, enhanced by concrete and glass.

An infrared scan of the mountain was inconclusive, as Tony expected, and the plans for the place had been purged from any computer system that he could hack into. That saying, if he'd been the one to design the place, he would have built a lot more levels than one would expect.

"I'm still not sure that simply turning up like this unannounced and without an appointment is a good idea," Rhodey said.

"Nonsense," Tony countered. "Who doesn't like getting a visit from me. Besides, we're Avengers, every door should open at our approach."

"Better not let Cap hear you say that," Rhodey retorted. "I remember him saying something about 'manners' a number of times."

"Did he? I mustn't have been listening," Tony replied and dropped away, his repulsors firing as he swooped in towards the 'door'.

Rhodey cursed and followed, landing a fraction of a second behind him.

"This is a restricted military complex," a voice blared at them from unseen speakers. "Leave immediately or you will be fired upon."

Tony's arms immediately came up, his repulsors glowing and ready as every panel on his armour – shoulders, gauntlets, arm guards and thigh – opened to reveal his own ordinance. Beside him, he heard Rhodey curse again and bring his own weapons systems to bare.

"I'll see your threat and call," Tony replied. "We're just here to visit, wanted to meet the new players in town, see if they're any good."

The great doors opened and Tony sheathed his weapons and opened his face mask. And immediately snapped his hands straight back up again.

"Okay, what?' he asked in shock.

A great big pile of rocks, easily seven feet tall, strode out of the door towards them. It was humanoid – two arms, two legs, torso, head – made even more prominent by the clenched fists and the scowl on its face.

"Anyone order some landfill?" Tony asked.

"You were asked to leave," the walking pile of rocks stated, his voice akin to two rocks grinding together. "Don't make me ask twice."

"Firstly, did you forget to moisturise? Because your skin is looking decidedly dry. Secondly, and I've always wanted to say this, we come in peace, take us to your leader," Tony said.

"Hardy har har," the rock-Thing grumbled. "You've had your joke, now vamoose."

"Do you know who we are?" Tony asked.

"Tony Stark. Colonel James Rhodes. Iron Man and War Machine. Two of the Avengers. I know who you are," he replied.

"Good. Then you know that we're in the world-saving business," Tony said. "We're only here to meet the new kids on the block, the ones we have to thank for Montana."

Tony couldn't help but shudder as the rock-Thing slowly twisted its rocky head, taking the two of them in – the sound it made was akin to fingernails down a chalkboard.

"Alright, I'll take you to Reed, but if he says you're out, then you're out. The easy way or the fun way,"

"Thanks," Rhodey cut in before Tony could respond and opening up his face mask. "What should we call you?"

"My name's Ben Grimm," he said as he trundled around and strode back towards the door of Central City.

'Ben Grimm'? Tony wondered as he and Rhodey followed. Was that rock-Thing ... human? Or might it have been human, once? The questions swirled in his head and he found himself itching to ask a thousand more and to get his tools into the rock-Thing.

They were led inside a massive complex and, while it was definitely military – all crisp lines and drab, grey paint – it wasn't hard to guess that it was more designed for research than for training and missions.

A heavy-duty cargo elevator took the three from the ground floor up two levels before they were led out and into a large lab filled with dozens of computers and pieces of scientific equipment that almost had Tony drooling.

"Reed. Visitors," Grimm's deep bass rumbled.

A young man looked up from where he was bent towards a young woman, their focus on a large computer screen. He seemed to start when he saw them before hopping up and dashing across the room.

"Reed Richards," he said, his hand held out in front of him. "It's an honour to meet you."

"Reed Richards," Tony replied. "I've heard of you. One of the top IQ's on the planet, brilliant scientist. You dropped off the grid about a year or so ago, if I'm remembering rightly."

"I did," Richards stated, tugging on his ear, looking a little sheepish. "I needed time to figure some things out. And back then, the military wasn't being very supportive."

"Things seem to have turned around," Tony stated pointedly, looking around the facility again.

"They're here because of Montana," Grimm stated., his arms now folded against his chest.

"A combination of errors and bad judgement on the parts of a lot of people, myself included," Richards said. "Thankfully, we managed to clean up after ourselves."

"You left a great big hole where an Army base used to be," Rhodey stated flatly.

"Better the base than the entire state or the planet," the young woman said, joining them. "Sue Storm."

Just then, a great whooshing noise shot towards them and Tony spun, his hands up, ready. And promptly, blinked. A man on fire was flying towards them. The second he landed, Tony's fire suppressant systems fired, completely covering the man in half a second.

"Oi! Cut it out!" the man yelled, waving his hands about and coughing and spluttering.

"It's okay, Stark, Johnny's not on fire," Richards said urgently. "Well, he is on fire but it's nothing to worry about. It's ... it's part of him now, what he can do."

"What?" Rhodey asked. "You're going to have to explain that one again."

Tony leant closer to the man, his eyes narrowed as the guy wiped his face clean of the foam. He didn't look to have third degree burns, which is what he surely should have had considering the heat that was radiating off of him a few seconds ago.

"Right. You can catch on fire and you're a walking, talking pile of rocks," Tony said, pointing at each 'man'. "Start talking."

"It happened a year ago, although really the story began more than half my life ago," Richards began.

"Just the highlights," Tony cut in.

"We found a way to transport from Earth to a different dimension," Richards shrugged. "There was an accident and five of us were changed in a physiological way."

Tony looked at the girl, Storm, silently telling her to give a better explanation.

"We created a capsule that could carry people backwards and forwards," she said. "The hope was that we'd find a place where we could get more resources for the planet, find a place where we could grow crops."

"Sounds like a noble goal. Richards mentioned an accident?" Tony said.

"Four of them went across," she continued. "Reed, Johnny, Benn and Victor von Doom."

"Victor von Doom?" Tony questioned, shaking his head. "You had a guy named von Doom on the team and you didn't expect something to go wrong?"

"The place we ended up wasn't inhabitable," Richards continued, obviously ignoring him. "We tried to get back straight away. Victor was left behind, we thought that he'd been killed. There were problems coming back due to the nature of the energy emanating from that dimension. Ben, Johnny and I were all changed in the trip and enough of the energy came back with us to hit Sue and change her as well."

"Change, how?" Rhodey asked.

"You've seen what Ben and Johnny can do. Me? I can stretch," Richards smiled and demonstrated by stretching his arm five metres to pick up a pencil and to bring it back, all without moving his feet. "Sue can become invisible and create shields."

"That's crazy," Rhodey said and Tony had to agree.

"I'm guessing this von Doom guy didn't die, though, did he?" Tony guessed.

"No, he didn't," Johnny stated grimly. "When the army finally replicated what Sue and the nerd here did, they went across, found Vic alive and brought him back."

"Unfortunately, he'd become obsessed with destroying the world, the ones that had changed him. Revenge for what had happened to him, how he'd been 'abandoned'," Sue continued. "We had to stop him."

"Where is he now?" Rhodey asked.

"He was killed when we destroyed his portal between the dimensions," Richards replied.

"I'm hoping that you deep sixed all the data on that experiment, we don't want a repeat," Tony said, staring intensely at Richards.

"That's what Sue and I were in the middle of when you arrived," Richards admitted.

"Good thing I arrived then, I'm a bit of a whiz at computers," Tony smiled.

"No need. The program that I developed will search out and destroy every mention of the project on every server, in the world," Sue replied.

"I guess that I'll just have to trust you on that," Tony said while making a mental note to do some hacking once he got home and double check for himself. "So, what do you call yourselves?"

"What do ya mean?" Grimm grumbled.

"Well, we're the Avengers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes, you know? If you're in the world-saving business, I'm guessing that you've come up with a brand name. If not, I'd be happy to help."

"Please have something of your own already," Rhodey said and Tony pouted at him.

"Actually, we do have something in mind. Ben kinda suggested it," Richards smiled. "We call ourselves the Fantastic Four."

"Lame," Tony instantly replied before quickly backpedalling when the massive rock-Thing-Grimm took a menacing step towards him, one fist mashing against the palm of his other hand. "But if you're happy with it, that's all that counts."

ooo00ooo

Foggy Nelson of Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at Law, made sure to nod in all the right places and to make all the right sounds. After all, the old man seated before him may not exactly be a client, but he was deserving of respect. Really, anyone who was ninety-five, could still walk on their own, still had all their faculties and could argue the way this man could, deserved respect.

Foggy found himself fascinated by Stanley's moustache as it bobbed up and down as he talked, his large glasses enhancing his somewhat squinty eyes.

"I've tried them three times already," Stanley was saying. "Three! I've written a letter, I've tried telephoning them, I even managed to talk to Iron Man himself but still they won't allow me to join. You've seen my costume! It looks perfect, am I right? Just like a superhero."

"It looks wonderful Mister Le Man," Foggy replied. "Perhaps they're just worried about how a man of your advanced years would go fighting today's criminals."

"They'd be lucky to have me," Stanley Le Man stated indignantly.

"Well, I'll see what I can do," Foggy assured him, "but I can't make any promises."

"Just make sure that you do," Stanley said as Foggy ushered him out of the office.

Foggy waved politely as the old man reached the door, turned and beamed him the biggest smile.

"Excelsior!" he said, before disappearing.

"Who was that?" Karen asked.

"Stanley Le Man," Foggy replied. "Apparently, he wants to be an Avenger but they," and here Foggy raised his voice to ensure that Matt and Jennifer heard him, "don't have the decency to even give him an 'interview'."

"Now, Foggy," Matt said, appearing in the doorway of his own office. "You do understand how awkward it'd be to have to sue myself, don't you, if something happened to him?"

Foggy's retort was interrupted by the main office door opening. The three turned to the newcomer who stepped hesitantly inside. He was early thirties at a guess, with unruly dirty-blond curly hair. Foggy blinked at the fact that the guy was barefoot and looked like a common homeless man.

"Hi, your sign on the door said that you're lawyers?" he said.

"If you're in need of a lawyer, you've come to the right place," Matt said. "What can we help you with?"

"It's a bit delicate," the man said.

"Come on in to my office," Matt offered, stepping to one side, dropping into his 'blind' routine.

Once the two were seated, Matt began.

"What can we do for you, Mister ...?"

"Oh, Rand. I'm Danny Rand," he said, half-standing again to offer his hand across the table.

When Matt didn't move, Danny seemed to finally realise why Matt wore the distinctive red glasses.

"Rand?" Matt said, cocking his head. "As in, Rand Enterprises?"

"Exactly!" Danny replied. "My dad's company."

"Your father?" Matt repeated. "My understanding is that Wendell Rand died in a plane crash a long time ago. In fact, the entire family died in that plane crash."

"Not quite," Danny replied. "I survived. Obviously. That's why I need your help, to come back from the dead."

Matt focussed on his hearing for a moment, just to be certain. Yes, heartbeat, lungs working properly. This man was definitely alive.

"Legally speaking," Matt clarified.

"Yes! Exactly. So, can you help me?" he asked.

"Assuming that you can prove that you are who you claim to be, then yes. But that proof will be paramount in your case," Matt said. "Without it, any judge will be forced to rule against you, on the assumption that you're an imposter."

"Proof. Yes, of course," Danny replied slowly. "I can get proof."

Matt nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, where have you been since the plane crash?"

"K'un-Lun," Danny replied.

"K'un-Lun?" Matt repeated, testing the unfamiliar name. His best guess was that it was most likely Asian. And, according to his heartbeat, this 'Danny Rand' had been entirely truthful about everything that he'd said since he'd entered the office. "Where's that, exactly?"

"It's a hidden monastery of warrior monks. They found me, raised me, taught me to be one of them. You can only find it once every fifteen years, give or take, depending on the celestial tilt," Danny replied.

Magic, by the sound of it, Matt thought. Harry's department. I'll ask him later.

"I'll take your word for it," he said. "Now, what proof can you offer that you are who you say you are?"

ooo00ooo

Harry kept shooting side-along glances at Sam even as he followed Luna out of the portkey terminus underneath the San Francisco bridge. Ever since Sam had caught wind that they were chasing a mysterious creature that looked surprisingly like a giant ant, he'd been insistent that he come along and Harry simply couldn't work out why.

Not even when he'd covertly pulled Sam aside and explained that Luna had a habit of looking for creatures that were considered mythological at best to magicals and that they would be on a wide goose hunt the whole time had Sam strayed from his determination to tag along.

"Where are we going?" Skye asked.

"My contact said that his contact had managed to take that picture in the Forest Hill area, so we go south," Luna replied, pointing the direction that they had to go with said picture. "I just wish that it'd been a magical picture instead of a muggle one."

"How are we going to get there?" Sam asked. "I'm assuming neither of you two have been there before so your 'special' way of travelling is out."

"Right," Harry nodded.

"Only one thing for it then," Skye declared. "We take a cab."

"Ooh, a muggle Knight Bus, sounds like fun," Luna exclaimed.

"Not quite," Harry countered. "It's a car for a start not a bus and there won't be any beds or hot chocolate."

Sam and Skye stared at the two in identical horror and confusion.

"Oh, pooh," Luna pouted. "Still, it's a new experience and I'm always up for those."

"I would have thought that Rolf would have introduced you to muggle means of transport by now, he's a zoologist as well as a magizoologist, isn't he?" Harry asked.

"Well, yes, but one can always hope when visiting a new city."

"Rolf?" Skye asked.

"My husband," Luna replied absently.

"What! When did you get married?" Harry exclaimed, stopping dead and grabbing Luna to spin her around.

"March twenty-one," Luna replied. "Hadn't I mentioned it yet? I know that I meant to. If it's any consolation, it was a quick, spur of the moment decision. You see, we'd found ourselves at a sacred site for the spring equinox and there was this druid priestess there and, since I'd just fallen pregnant ..."

"You're pregnant!" Harry exclaimed, his eyes shifting to stare at her stomach.

"Oh, yes," she beamed. "Nine weeks tomorrow, in fact. Twins actually; boys. We're still deciding names. What do you think of Lorcan?"

Harry gaped as he tried to take in the continuous stream of new information that Luna was throwing at him.

"That's Irish, right?" Skye asked. "Means ... fierce one? I think."

"Now

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